Jayjayempi

FINALLY a HOTD fanfic, I've been looking for one for a while and I've read comments that there are several but they all end up being either with a system or an incoherent crossover, I hope your story is constant, much success author!

The idea in general is good, but I feel that you advance the story a lot without really telling anything, the good thing about a story is the details, you leave many gaps assuming that the reader can fill the space with what he knows about the movies, for example no. You explain why your character has a different last name, you don't explain why he awakened his powers, it is implied that he already lived in Forks but as if he didn't know anyone, if the Cullens are the same ones from the movies, you I invite you to rewrite your chapters and add more things, the story has potential it just lacks substance