Travis_Manton

Travis_Manton

LV 15
2020-05-13 入りました Global
バッジ 15

Moments 11
Travis_Manton
Travis_Manton
1 years ago
Commented

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

Travis_Manton
Travis_Manton
1 years ago
Posted

MC ruins this story for me. First gets power. Slow neat ok. Discovered by his family. And specifically told he is in danger, of being enslaved or killed. So they decide to send him to the very place where that will assuredly happen. But first go hide, and you didn't even out run the car on the way out of city while on your bike. Understandable, you are then at full speed on your bike you crash through a window and are captured. But its fine you don't even have a negative thought about it, informed you are imprisoned, threatened with death, and given forced labor. Again your fine with that massive amount of unfairness. Moving on your tortured and had a magical bond forced on you... not much later your slavemasters torture and assist someone in cursing, banishing, and transforming you into a demon. Your first reaction is that your slave masters are upset, let me go comfort them after stripped you of mana and inflicted mind numbing pain on you. At what point do you get pissed off? At what point do you try to fight back or even escape? Ridiculous.

Travis_Manton
Travis_Manton
1 years ago
Commented

See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola

Travis_Manton
Travis_Manton
1 years ago
Commented

See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule

Travis_Manton
Travis_Manton
1 years ago
Posted

Excellent, there are a few typos here and there, or repeated sentences i.e. master of protag's master of… Plot is flowing properly. MC is active rather than being passive and handling one situation at a time. MC is cutting off paths before they develop and planning the appropriate countermeasures in advance for the necessary points. Well written flow is excellent, MC is a proper villain i.e. oh can you help me with this? No! Oh, you assumed I was asking as such thank you for your assistance. Hahaha

Travis_Manton
Travis_Manton
1 years ago
Posted

There is the annoying background peanut gallery... otherwise its fine OP protagonist, world background is good. translation is good. Character development won't be much, the MC is a reincarnated adult and has spent many years in the transmigrated world.

Travis_Manton
Travis_Manton
1 years ago
Posted

Pointless. There is no story. The MC does not exist. I couldn’ make it past the first 10 chapters. MC blind and rescued by a foreigner. Ok. MC teach them English because he think they all are foreign idiots. Douchebag but whatever continue. MC get system and now they understand each other. Ridiculous but I can still bear it. MC students get invaded by humans, they all unianimously decide to toy with the bloodthirsty rapist slavers. Like this is a territory, this is a queen. Are there any male elves? How is it that the territory population is a handful. Ok nonsense, they live in a camp and he has effing pepper but they don’t even have effing guards. Effing stupid. No brain power was expended in the creation of this nonsense.

Travis_Manton
Travis_Manton
1 years ago
Posted

Great. At first, flow was good the MC character was.. someone hit him before I do. however you managed to weave a proper character development for the MC. Giving him proper growth. I am going to be continuing reading on to see how you make the story, characters, magic, continue. @ ch 145.

Travis_Manton
Travis_Manton
2 years ago
Posted

Machine translation. Terrible quality machine translation. Grammar and sentence structure are beyond saving. Keeps tossing "Pray God" out there. Unreadable.

Travis_Manton
Travis_Manton
2 years ago
Posted

a fantastic novel. has a light bit of comedy as well. Well thought out. MC is an extremely well written character. This is much better than most of the other works I h e perused on here. background world building writing quality, all excellent. granted the character won't develop much, its in his nature, which is expected and is completely in line with the story. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND giving this a good read.