very effective and smooth. the exasperation from the last chapter is no longer visible now that the protag no longer feels it. in fact, it is replaced by excitement and intrigue. Adrian, an another comment said, is a beautiful hypocrite. His hypocrisy is so real, so common, yet somehow special in the way he handles it. His seeming contempt for Zirav, calling him a psychopath, when he himself has simply killed eight people and felt nothing about it. Him being interested in the play he acted like he had no care for. It's all such beautiful and cyclical storytelling.
*his characterization
It's a promising beginning. The author takes a very interesting approach with first person narrative where the protagonist's personality seeps into the narration and monologue so much that one is forced to wonder just how reliable of a narrator he is. Then, as the world and the story slowly keeps unfolding, more and more of is characterization comes to forefront by simply him narrating and reacting to things or commentating on a piece of history. He is, by far, the strongest part of the narrative, and we still don't know where his story is going but I've already become invested in the ride for sure. Overall, a very good main character-driven narrative. Keep up the good work!
This is a like a exasperation setting in after a big dose of adrenaline wears off (referring to the fighting in previous chapter) and a tiredness and numbness taking over the tone of the story just as they take over the protagonist's mind and body. Good job with continuing to assimilate the story and the protagonist together like this.
That turned into a nice little side story-ish chapter. Pretty good stuff.
very nicely put together. I like that we didn't actually see how he killed them, he just did. It's probably leading up to something bigger, esp with that part about him being the "strongest in the world".
I will for sure. I'm getting more and more into your story with each chapter.
I really like this pacing. Don't mess it up! Rushing to get to the "good parts" is a mistake a lot of the writers make. Keep patience and tell your story slowly and steadily.
it's fine. how are you?
really good chapter, a two-parter? keeup up the good work
The Emperor Who Would Rule The Gods
Fantasy · VoxEnozian