Xerstoren

Xerstoren

male LV 13

Intento escribir, no se si me sale. I like dulce de leche

2019-05-14 入りました Argentina
イベント
オリジナル作品
バッジ 11

Moments 1637
Xerstoren
Xerstoren
8 months ago
Posted

Overall a good fanfic. The characters are well build (Although there's a clear bias for the females) and their interactions ain't weird. Though there's a clear lack of description of their appareances that need to be adressed if the author is thinking on adding more characters later on. The main cast is believable in their context as they fit with the image you may have of saiyans. The world building is okay, it could improve with more rich and livelier details in the description but I can understand that the author, just like myself, don't have english as his first language. There's something that need to be adressed as the atmosphere in the novel isn't grim dark enough. Which is the characteristic seal of warhammer. The update rate is good, which is something I would've wished to had to before (Sorry if there's any reader of my FF, I promise I'll finish them) Now something that really bothered me is that at some point in the novel is clear that either the author rushed or something happened. They way that the novel was heading it was clear that the main cast childhood would've be expanded. This would have been great since a lot of characters in the novel could have shared more spotlight while also adding more difficulty to the Saiyans path. This would have given other saiyans more chances to be in the spotlight and further develop their personalities for us the readers to empathise or hate. While also giving more world buildings to their planet. Something I would recommend the author, it's for showing more what is going on instead of telling. Those actions, conversations and interactions shouldn't be wasted by just passing by in some paragraphs, but further develop and show us the readers. Although it's a more personal recommendation since I love slice of life. Overall, is a solid read among the sea of crap that is the fanfiction zone currently. Although it has it weakness such as the clear lack of deepness into the lore of Warhammer, its nothing too serious to affect the read. Although I would recommend the author to get his ass to work and read what is needed since id the plot thickens, so should be his knowledge. And for those that reached here, and still have some doubts or concerns, just give it a try and see it for yourself, trust me you won't immediately quit after the first chapter. That's all I think, have a good night and cya!

img
Xerstoren
Xerstoren
1 years ago
Replied to SebaWest

Yes, but it's more fit to call him a Pariah since the effect he had is way stronger than what could a simple Blank could produce.

When he asked to put into words, Syntax made a good euphemism by saying "How would you feel looking at a human without a face, at someone without presence, at a void figure that doesn't reassemble at a anything around it? That's how I feel about you. That's how 'wrong' you are."

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Anime & Comics · Xerstoren

Xerstoren
Xerstoren
1 years ago
Replied to world_domination

Part of him is a Pariah.

この段落は削除されました。
Shinobi Squad From Hell

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Anime & Comics · Xerstoren

Xerstoren
Xerstoren
1 years ago
Replied to NecronFlayedOnes

Yes.

Xerstoren
Xerstoren
1 years ago
Replied to NecronFlayedOnes

that was pretty much their formation, and yep those cannibals were part from the cannibal expansion mod.

"COME YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS, LET ME PAINT MYSELF IN YOUR BLOOD TOO!" I shouted with pure rage as a scrawny cannibal rushed at me.

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Anime & Comics · Xerstoren

Xerstoren
Xerstoren
1 years ago
Replied to NecronFlayedOnes

Yeah, pretty much.

This however didn't last long, as another bandit was quickly dealt with from a curvy figure that seemed to be a companion of the mysterious swordman. The bandit head and forearm rolling in the ground as she moved towards another victim.

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Anime & Comics · Xerstoren

Xerstoren
Xerstoren
1 years ago
Replied to world_domination

Although I have an idea of what I would like as the Nation Name, I'm open to ideas if they are better. And about the clans, well, they need some rename before even trying to adopt their clan names (I've already spoiled in the characters sheet)

His mind, or better said, his circuits were once again running wild with his plans and ambition. Knowing that they were starting from the scratch here, he dare to dream in greatness for his companions.

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Anime & Comics · Xerstoren

Xerstoren
Xerstoren
1 years ago
Replied to Xerstoren

After finishing with an initial assessment on the novel, here's my review so far till the latest chapter (8) Grammatically I can't say anything since I suck on the matter and can only complain in works that are out of MTL or Google translate. If your English sucks as much as mine, then you wouldn't have any problem with this novel, it's completely readable and I believe it has good grammar, I don't know to be honest. Then we'll go on the novel pacing; thus far has been great! It never felt rush and the length of each chapters leaves enough room for the author to keep you satisfied at the end of it, only those greedy that wished to rush chapter after chapter would find a complain in that regard. 5/5 in that regard. - Characters; So far they were well depicted, maybe the MC wouldn't be cup of tea from the edgy lord's that seemed to abound this app, but I reckon everyone will be satisfied with him. You can clearly understand that the lad is simple minded, although it has been implied he's a man of culture, it's too early to properly judge in that aspect. Sabine thus far has been perfectly wife material and it's honour me to says that between the various waifus on this site, she's around the top. [Personal rant; Btw I wish my girlfriend was a sister of battle too, but I guess not everyone could be so lucky as the MC] The other minor characters has also been well portrayed and you can imagine them existing in the world depicted by the author. In characters regards I say 4.5/5. not five because I feel envy of the mc. - World building; thus far there isn't too much in this aspect since is well too early in the novel to say something about it, though I have to say that it does feels like it's a novel in Warhammer, the vibes are there, the feeling that something bigger is going on could be felt, and more importantly, the feeling that this should get a happy feeling is there too. Though I really hope this doesn't end like your common Warhammer story. With something tragical in between. 4/5 in this regard, we shall see in the future. Nonetheless, for the fellow degenerates members of the Adeptus Mechanicum, it seems like there will be a slight harem, though is heavily implied that the main girl and the one mc will be spending his last days will be with Sabine, I have raised my expectations to see him plowing some bunny in the future. That's all I have to report to you my fellow brothers, see you in another Warhammer work in the future!

Xerstoren
Xerstoren
1 years ago
Commented

img

Then she motioned with her right hand "And this lady here is Hatsune Minami, we would be the ones that talk with you all if that's not much." She asked while giving a small but nervous smile.

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Anime & Comics · Xerstoren

Xerstoren
Xerstoren
1 years ago
Commented

Asa

img

"Before we continue with this conversation, I wish to present ourselves, my name is Shigure Asa, and I'm the wife of the village Chief." The lady raised her voice as she motioned with her hand to her left.

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Shinobi Squad From Hell

Anime & Comics · Xerstoren

  • Shinobi Squad From Hell original

    Shinobi Squad From Hell

    Anime & Comics ACTION ROMANCE ADVENTURE R18 COMEDY WEAKTOSTRONG HAREM TRANSMIGRATION ANTIHERO NARUTO

    What would happen when a squad from the world of Kenshi suddenly appears in the world of Naruto? What would a group of survivor and dishonoured warriors do against Shinobis and powerful clans? Going from cannibals, beasts and a post-apocalyptic world to a land at war but with vibrant life has never been easier! Uchiha? Senju? Hyuuga? None of the above! The strength of the Sheks will prevail. They have Madara Uchiha? We have Beep! Join the incredible adventures of an out-of-the-ordinary group in uncharted lands where life is worth little and nothing! Watch as no names rise to become Lords and a powerful dynasty is established. ---- What? You aren't convinced yet? This novel will have ninjas and cool wars! And most importantly, BEEP! *** Expect grammar mistakes. The cover is not mine, I find it on the web. Naruto and all it's characters don't belong to me, all rights reserved to it's author. The characters and elements from Kenshi belongs to it's rightful author and Lo-Fi Games. *[THIS IS A SLOW-PACED NOVEL WITH A FEW ELEMENTS OF SLICE OF LIFE, IF YOU EXPECT TO SHIT HIT THE FAN SOON, please just go read something else, I'm sure there's tons of works here made from my fellow authors that would fit with your taste.]* Additional Tags: [Mature][Polygamy][Kingdom-Building][Netori][Seinen]

    16 Chs 217 お気に入り

  • Runeterra: Earthling Among Legends original

    Runeterra: Earthling Among Legends

    Video Games ACTION ROMANCE ADVENTURE R18 WEAKTOSTRONG ISEKAI CONQUER

    4.53

    Renzo was a simple guy who loved MOBAS, one night he found himself surrounded in a forest, later to find out he was into one of his favorites franchises. League of Legends. Follow him into his journey on the lands of Runeterra, where incredible figures would wait for him. Where danger lays in every corner alongside marvelous sights and adventures. === All fictional characters depicted in this novel belongs to Riot Games. The art cover does not belong to me, all rights reserved to it's author.

    41 Chs 3.3k お気に入り

  • Terra Nostra original

    Terra Nostra

    Fantasy ACTION ROMANCE ADVENTURE R18 CULTIVATION TRANSMIGRATION KINGDOMBUILDING

    His life wasn't pleasant. He keep trying it, but it wasn't enough. Nobody was there for him to rely on. He give up. A God grant him another chance. A test for himself to try seeing what he really worth. Would he shine? Would he find his way? In a world where there's no hope, where injustice lay in every corner, he will make a place for those in despair. Join the journey of a doomer in an sword and fantasy world. See through his eyes what lay beneath the fantasy. Find what would happen if a normal human were to appear in a hostile world. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My first novel writing on English, Spanish is my first language so you could expect grammar errors. This novel will belong to a multiverse work, expect a lot of lore chapters as it would lay foundation for future novels. ----------- I don't own the cover image, all rights reserved to it's author.

    1 Chs 73 お気に入り

  • Terra Nostra (Re-writed) original

    Terra Nostra (Re-writed)

    Fantasy ACTION ROMANCE ADVENTURE R18 CULTIVATION ISEKAI KINGDOMBUILDING CONQUER

    Join into the journey of a doomer into a fantasy world! What could happen when someone who didn't wished to live was granted with another chance? In a hostile world, with sword and magic, dragons, and many kind of beast aside from sentient races. Would he find a place to shine? Would he find a place to live? Armed with his knowledge, he would face a world that he didn't wished to be in the first place. Where darkness, cruelty and despair lay on every corner. ---- This is a re-writed version of my novel with the same name. This a long novel with lengthy chapters, and it's heavily focused on world and lore building, please have this in mind once you decide to dwell into it! Spanish is my mother language, so don't expect a perfect grammar. I welcome every grammar soldier to help me pinpoint said mistakes if you find them. --- The planned release schedule will be seven chapters per week, with some exceptions this could change to just four chapters per week or twelve chapters per week, all depending on different circumstances such as work and my free time. Each 100 collections I'll be releasing a bonus chapter. Currently I'm working on drawing my own cover, the current one does not belong to me, all rights reserved to it's author. And since I'm improving my drawing, there would be coloured versions of each character in due time, I'll be posting pictures of the draft version of some of them. Be wary they are subject to change and improvement, since I'm still learning.

    9 Chs 9 お気に入り

  • Entre Dioses y Titanes original

    Entre Dioses y Titanes

    Fantasy CULTIVATION

    Desde el día que nació fue destinado a ser alguien extraordinario. Recibió un legado de sangre milenario que lo llevará a la cima. Pero todo poder tiene un precio, ¿estará dispuesto a pagarlo? ¿La cima realmente lo vale? Los mortales adoran a los dioses. Los dioses reveran a los Titanes. Y los Titanes obedecen a los creadores. Yo? Estoy por encima de ellos. En toda historia hay dos caras de una moneda; cuál tu crees que verás?

    3 Chs 15 お気に入り