I think there's a slight problem with redundancy in some paragraphs. That, along with the lack of in-depth descriptions in many scenes, makes me think you're using AI to help you write. My opinion on the matter aside, you should try correcting those redundancies and expanding the descriptions; it'll make the reading feel more organic.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Nota de autor : toda critica es bienvenida y ayudas o sugerencias para la historia. se que el sistema es algo lento y es un sistema basico pero recuerda que solo da 1 de xp y 1o 2 monedas por zombi , el prota es solo un humano con mucho entrenamiento pero sigue teniendo limites , el sistema ayudara a pasar ciertas barreras y facilitar ciertas cosas , a medida que sube de nivel sera mas fuerte , pero no quiero que de un cap a otro sea un dios mas o menos o que consiga poderes ultra op de algun anime ni nada tan asi pero ya iremos viendo, leere sus sugerencias.
The Walking Dead: Reborn in the Apocalypse
Anime & Comics · Nameless_19
That is even a plus.
Pd: aviso desde ya que pueden haber cambios en la historia más adelante que no tengan que ver con twd, por si esperabas algo 100% twd no será así .
The Walking Dead: Reborn in the Apocalypse
Anime & Comics · Nameless_19
When Lucian did it, it made sense, since despite being young, he had been training for years under the guidance of someone very experienced. Nico and Bianca defeating so many with just a week of training and a pair of OP weapons devalues their enemies too much; basically, no one is strong if they are not a main character, regardless of whether they are a demigod with years of training.
As silly as it sounds, I loved the scene where Lucian kneels before his father as the cursed knight's armor materializes over his body and vows to bring down the lightning thief.
So what's your favorite moments… (I mostly do these things for an ego boost. I just love to see what people enjoy most when reading what I write. It's such a good feeling)
Percy Jackson: Son of Hades - Prince of the Underworld
Book&Literature · Shadow_D_Monarch3
This is the most annoying part for me about Luke's sequence so far: that it moved so absurdly fast from sequence 9 to 6, because the early sequences seemed tailor-made for him. Even Lucian, the creator of the sequences, had to put in a lot more time and effort to understand and digest his sequences.
Lucian's grip tightened as his voice darkened further. "You can swing your sword at me all you want. I'll gladly endure it—if you can even manage to land a strike. But pointing it at her? That's a mortal sin I won't ever forgive."
Percy Jackson: Son of Hades - Prince of the Underworld
Book&Literature · Shadow_D_Monarch3
Yes, that is a problem in itself.
On the subject of Dusk Elves, it had been the first time that Oleandra had taken a sentient being's life. However, seeing as one of them had tortured her, one could excuse her for not feeling too much remorse at the bloodbath she had inadvertently caused. As the days passed, she stopped seeing the Dusk Elves' faces in her nightmares and eventually, her dreams went back to the usual cryptic visions of the Tree of Terror, Yggdrasil. Yay, fun.
Harry Potter and the Sorceress of the Stars
Book&Literature · Azure_Abyss
While I'm still enjoying the story, it's exhibiting exactly the kind of problem I thought it would have ever since Scott's powers were explained. The power scale is getting insane, not only is it already at a point where nothing in the series could really be a danger, but even this super-killing squad of super-rare and powerful supernatural beings is about to make the entire pack even more powerful. In thirty episodes God himself will have to come down to fight Scott.
Charlie would make a great waifu, but I almost want her to be left alone so she can be happy with Vaggie. I'm not that attracted to Lilith as a waifu, it always feels weird when the incest is with the mother.
-
original PATH OF THE STAR HUNTER
4.24 最新リリース
Forced to face how vast and dangerous the universe really is, Desmond decides to seize the opportunity to gain the power he needs to protect what he loves, for his own world is far from safe. Traveling through various worlds, Desmond gathers treasures and powers, gradually discovering the dark secrets that lie behind the false tranquility. If you like this novel, don't forget to comment, donate Power Stones, and write a review. I'm currently working on another novel called "Divine Madness", Take a look around and see if it's to your liking; all support is welcome.722 Chs 3.4k お気に入り
- original
Twilight Hearts
最新リリース
Having had the ability to see ghosts for as long as she can remember, Katherine is thrown into a world of mystery, horror, and temptation when a series of macabre murders occur in her small town in England. The truth behind the trail of death and the nature of her own abilities shakes this girl's world as she tries to learn more about the supernatural side of the world, the strange alliances that exist within it, and perhaps find love along the way.13 Chs 12 お気に入り
- original
Love, madness and magic.
最新リリース
In a world shaped by magic and the will of the gods, Alice's destiny is forever altered when, in her darkest moment, an ancient entity comes to her aid. Freed from its prison but now bound to Alice, the cunning demon Azmodiel accompanies her on her journey of discovery and growth. Together, they uncover the wonders of magic, reveal ancient secrets, and seek their purpose in life and their place in the world. But when all this being seeks is to corrupt Alice and use her for its macabre plans, what will this pair's fate be? Will Alice, with her pure heart and boundless love for magic, be able to change her companion, or will she succumb to the madness and seduction of Azmodiel?17 Chs 5 お気に入り
The rape was actually unnecessary. And leaving aside the super dark and brilliant mental landscape of Eclipse, the fact that all the canon characters he saved are dropping like flies in such out-of-the-blue situations makes it feel like neither the protagonist nor his actions up to this point have mattered.
The Walking Dead: Reborn in the Apocalypse
Anime & Comics · Nameless_19