You erase the previous life of the character Hugo. There is no maturity at all. It is obvious that living his previous life did not help him then. That's ridiculous. Plus, you both make Hugo look perverted and when a girl gives herself her body to Hugo, you don't touch the girl, you make Hugo look like you're very moral. You are being very contradictory.
it was a very childish novel. Hugo's character was written in such a way that it became a stereotypical Japanese novel. Maturity is gone. I guess you wrote just for kids. As a writer, if you are going to write for adults, you need to improve yourself. Not like that. I was very bored while reading.
See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola
Shadow Slave
Fantasy · Guiltythree