Books and stories aren't written like this. It needs detailed descriptions and, most importantly feelings. You use he said, and she said but how do they say it? It should be like he said happily, she replied doubtfully, she said surprised etc. Also, describe the room describe their appearances. In essence, bring the world to life. I feel you have a very long way to go before you start writing your own books. I'd recommend that you take a year to read other people's works, actual books or webnovels. After that, I'd recommend choosing one to emulate.
It's a really good story. The plot is quite unique as I haven't seen others like it and the writing quality is really high. Readers will definitely not be disappointed.
This is an interesting read. It's a story idea I haven't heard of, making it all the more intriguing. I would recommend expressing your ideas more concisely to keep the reader's mind captivated. Apart from that, it is truly an interesting read and I can't wait to continue reading.
この本は削除されました。
at least on a forum there are some knowledgeable experts
この本は削除されました。
Thanks for trying out my book. Constructive criticism will be well accepted. So feel free to communicate.😁
😙 but who honestly wouldn't
A tear rolled.
Can All Be Achieved?
Fantasia · Staria_
Haha
'Why isn't it possible to go back in the past and give your younger, naive self, a good resounding, holy slap, that contained raaage from the bottom of your heart.'
Can All Be Achieved?
Fantasia · Staria_
there's like a 24hr watch on those things
If someone saw him destroying the corpse and clearing evidence, they might be frightened to death.
Complete Martial Arts Attributes
Oriental · Don't Enter The Jianghu
there will be multiple. about 4 - 6 the number is just my guess but there isn't just 1
[You have completed the hidden divine quest: The Son of Arch-Angel Michael. Congratulations on being the first player to get a divine class! +100 to all stats.]
The Ancients World
Jogos · easyread
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original Can All Be Achieved?
This is a mix of all worlds. A traveler who moves from time to time, from space to space, as long as his mission is achieved. The mission is to reach the top of any world he moves to. Be it in cultivation, wealth, or fame, he has to top these depending on which rules his world. This is a story of wanting it all.13 Chs 40 お気に入り
This book is absolutely wonderful. The characters go through a moving journey yet it's heartbreaking and inspiring to watch them. I can't wait to continue following their journey.
A night copulation with the billionaire
Fantasia · starryxl