It's a pretty fresh read and up until chapter 3 pretty unique I just wish the story didn't fall into the cliché of scientist in the magical world who only studies magic to the point that he is the reincarnation of Merlin before the end of his first year. On the other hand it is a story that reminds me a bit of The Spiderwick Chronicles. Especially in the fact of magical creatures that no one can see, It is something that certainly makes it stand out and that can give a lot of play to the plot if it is used as something central to the story and not just as an add-on. About the quality in general, the author has a writing above average and a storytelling so far impeccable I would only remain to observe the development of the secondary characters and if he is able to make them organic.
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Wow I didn't expect to find a gem like this, it's only the first few chapters but the world building and the main character are quite novel something that stands out among so many generic stories, for the moment I'm not going to get my hopes up too high because there are only a few chapters, only time will tell if the story is really good or just another mediocre story with a good start.
It is a very good story, the construction of the character at the beginning was a little weird but the trans background that is being given is very good, on the other hand the dialogues both internal and with other characters are great. The only thing that detracts from it is the stability of the publications.
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Yes
Another interesting rewrite, you added the reason why Georg hates muggles, something that is appreciated in the formation of the character, but that has generated doubts for me the first one is how old is Georg? Because I think he is 7, and in my opinion I think it would be better if the isolation would start earlier so that the resentment would be deeper, although this can be enlarged with Grindelwald's upbringing. The second doubt is did you decide to change Georg's personality to make him less dark? The doubt arises because in the first writing he seems to me a more sociopathic character more detached to human emotions, but it may be my impression. Finally and as a tip remember that Grindelwald is hated and wanted equally, so it is normal that he does not go in plain sight and that he is announced as Sirius Black in the third book in the Muggle news. Keep up the good work.
Interesting first chapter rewrite, it's a bit more complex than the first writing, you're going to need to adapt Harry's training and student life to make him a Mc-equivalent opponent as the Harry of the books could never take on an opponent of that caliber. Good job.
Well, in my opinion for magic you need both the physical and the mind, knowledge can be acquired, but you can't force the body to do something it's not ready for. But the main problem with doing such rapid development is that when it's done, stories tend to end prematurely, as the power of the character outweighs the plot development, unless you build a story in one fell swoop.
It's a totally gripping and immersive piece of writing, the writing is great and the character design is even better, not to mention that the secondary characters are also very well written. I haven't come across any Itachi fanfic that was so well done and I look forward to seeing how you continue to develop it. I hope you don't get discouraged and drop it.
Of Blood and Duty
Anime & Comics · Raven_Aelwood