Hawkgan

Very nice to see more progress towards overtaking the system

I’m very happy that this novel isn’t dead yet! Will keep reading as long as you keep producing chapters. :)

For fight scenes I recommend using words like flank, parry, etc since it gives a clear mental image for those tasks. I think you have done a pretty good job of giving the reader special awareness. Another tip you could possibly do is during fights occasionally have a super short sentence for a task that happens way faster than other things in the fight. For instance you could have “Bang. Ben turned around to see Keira’s shirt slowly dye red”

Excellent story so far, I look forward to future chapters 🐢