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0.95% When A Mage Revolts / Chapter 9: The Retaliation of the Waterball

章 9: The Retaliation of the Waterball

"Hey hey hey, what are you saying? Are you out of your mind?" the System resurfaced

swiftly and shrieked at Kubei in terror.

"Didn’t you shut down already?" Kubei said, calmly.

"The start-up time of your computer is 0.1 seconds, which defeats 99.9% of the computers in

the country," the System was as proud as a child who got a stamp from a teacher, but its tone switched just as fast, "this is not the time to discuss about start-up times. Do you want to die? Why are you admitting that you aren’t Grant Lithur?"

"This is not important," he said.

"What then is important?" the System asked.

"Michelle’s response." Kubei told the System while he continued observing Michelle.

Everything was just as Kubei expected. Michelle did not give much response, she did not

even move, as if she was lazy to do so. Instead she only scoffed like she was

not surprised with Kubei’s confession.

The System went quiet, and only mumbled after some time, "I’m hallucinating now, you must’ve forgot to run my virus check."

"….."

Kubei felt slight exasperation. Of course, he could not blame the System for not reacting properly. Michelle’s thought process was too sophisticated, and it was not a simple task to catch up with her. Even Kubei spent nearly half a day to get it.

In actuality, Kubei did make a number of mistakes in his speech, and the two paragraphs of lies he made up to try and test Michelle had so many contradictions. His trip ups also caused Michelle to suspect his identity, she even speculated that somehow switched her ‘hostage’ away.

Ironically, it was the loopholes that saved Kubei’s life.

As the loopholes were too noticeable, Michelle had another doubt right after she suspected Kubei’s identity: Is this a trap? Did Kubei purposefully lie so she would think he is a fake?

She fell into a loop.

Below was what Kubei inferenced to be Michelle’s thoughts: "If you are not Grant Lithur, then who are you?"

Kubei’s eyes changed as he suddenly laughed, "Correct! I am not Grant Lithur, and I switched the real noble long ago!"

Michelle was angry and spoke between gritted teeth, "Where did you hide him? Tell me or I’ll kill you!"

Kubei looked sly, "Of course I could tell you that. However, you’ll need to agree to some of my requests. Firstly, you’ll do this; secondly, you’ll do that; thirdly, you’ll do that too. There will be no use in killing me, as once the noble young master returns to his home, news about you will be spread. Once that happens, hehehehehe…."

Michelle detested him, "You are wicked!" and Kubei laughed villainously to the sky.

Suddenly, Michelle inhaled deeply as she comprehended something, "No, you’re lying! You are Grant Lithur, and you’re trying to lie to me for me to set you free! Quit dreaming!"

Kubei’s body tremored once as his laughter was cut short, "How do you know?"

Michelle snickered deeply, "Don’t even think that you could lie to me! Just give up!"

Thus, no matter what Kubei does, Michelle decided on one truth: This is Grant Lithur, even if he shat through his mouth or peed through his nose, he is still Grant fucking Lithur!

"…. That’s about it, she would assume I’m lying to her regardless of what I said," Kubei explained his reasoning to the System and concluded.

The System remained silent for a few moments.

"…. That was a shit deduction."

"Thanks for the compliment," Kubei felt at peace with himself.

Although it was widely exaggerated, he still believed that he nailed Michelle’s thoughts almost perfectly. He could not find any other logical explanation to interpret Michelle’s eerie behavior.

As he understood what was happening, he had the urge to tell Michelle, "Thinking too much into things is a disease, you need to get that cured."

Every dog has its day, and Kubei really had the dumb luck that saved his life. All thanks

to the "I forgot to bring my homework" expression that he mastered.

However, once he got into the details, the rationale behind this was complicated too. Michelle sacrificed so much for the treasury, and was willing to give up on her companions and be on her own. The fact that "Kubei is a fake" will be a huge blow to her now, as it meant that all her efforts were a waste.

Thus, she was more willing to believe that Kubei was Grant Lithur, as that gave her the

hope to get the treasure.

One will only believe what she intends to believe.

Once he thought about it this way, Michelle did not look as intimidating anymore. The church was closely following them and she actually faced the same pressure as him in walking at the brink of death. She was just more used to it, and hence behaved calmer than he did.

Kubei was not Grant Lithur anyway, and her effort was fated to be for naught.

Tragic.

Of course, Kubei did not have the capability to feel sorry for Michelle if he was tortured to death by an enraged Michelle. No matter how pitiable Michelle was, she still held his life in her hands.

Unless….

Kubei grabbed onto the breeze.

"Michelle, what exactly is in the treasury that could make you sacrifice everything for

it?" Kubei asked abruptly.

"None of your business," Michelle spat, and Kubei felt that she was under immense pressure that she lost her patience so quickly.

"Don’t be so bitter, I was just curious. You killed your companions for it. There are only few things in the world that could let mages go mad for, hence my curiosity." Kubei was disgusted by his own mischievous tone. He had no choice but to go as low as possible just to protect his own life.

If he did not do this, he could not confirm his other ‘deduction’.

"There is nothing to be curious about," Michelle looked as if she could not hold herself

back anymore.

"Why could it be nothing? There is so much to be asked, you see," Kubei added fuel to the flame.

"Shut up!" Michelle could not take it anymore.

Ah, finally.

Kubei felt that he successfully trailed the breeze to chip open the sealed cave. He felt

the rays of hope on his face.

"You want me to shut up?" The mischievous demeanor was no more, and Kubei sounded serious.

"Yes, you blabber too much," Michelle has yet to realise what happened.

"If so, why did you not shut me up yourself? Just use the magic you deployed just now, and let me be quiet. ‘I hope you do not make trouble for me,’ was that not what you said before?" Kubei slowed down in his speech. What accompanied his next words was also his heartbeat, "Or, you do not dare to use your magic anymore?"

Michelle froze.

Although Kubei could not see her expression, he knew that she lost her composure. He felt strange once Michelle started treating him atrociously. He did not know what was weird, but when he had the epiphany, he understood. He was chatty because he wanted to test out his theory: Since Michelle wanted him to shut up, why did she not use the Binding Spell again to stun him?

When he was under the Binding Spell, he could not speak. The spell came with a gagging

effect.

Through trial and error, the answer was out. She could not use the spell. Combine that with the existence of the Cleaners, it was obvious that Michelle dare not use the spell to avoid alerting the church of her presence.

Thus, it can be concluded that the Cleaners could sense magic within a certain radius.

When she previously used the Binding Spell, Annie just left, and had yet to be killed by the Cleaners. Thus, when the Cleaners sensed magic and saw a person dressed like a witch who wanted to ‘surrender to the Lithur family’s troops’, they assumed she was Michelle, the mage who used the Binding Spell.

Hence, they cleansed Annie without any hesitation.

Then, they would also assume that the mage was neutralized, and would leave the area after some patrolling. Michelle would then escape successfully under the eyes of the Cleaners, and the evil deeds she did before will all fall on the deceased Annie.

This was a good plan, as it killed three birds with one stone. She got rid of Annie, escaped the chase from the church, and got rid of the only chance Kubei could escape. The only flaw in the plan was that she could not use any magic when the Cleaner was still around.

Which was why she would irritably tell Kubei to shut up instead of using another Binding Spell.

"You’re right, I am unable to use magic because they could detect it. Honestly, if I did not use a special way to mask our tracks, the dogs from the church could still smell our presence in the absence of magic. They have sensitive noses," Michelle spoke with care that she never had, "Even though you were right, what use could it be? Without magic, do you think you can run away from me?"

Kubei smiled and shook his head, "I do not plan to escape from you, but rather it is you who would run away from me."

"What do you mean?" Michelle was perplexed.

Kubei did not reply. He shut his eyes, took a deep breath. Together with a unique wave, an incantation flowed out of his mouth.

It was the Waterball Spell.

Within Kubei’s space of consciousness, the light blue triangular symbol pulsed slightly. A soundless note spread from his soul, and echoed within the earth for the first time. At a corner in an unknown space, the ‘water’ element moved around like tides, as if they were listening to the will of another. They appeared out of thin air and gathered in his palm.

With a blink of an eye, a water ball floated before Kubei.

It was the size of a baby’s fist. It was just a weak water ball that looked like it would break under a slight touch, but it seemed to freeze time, and everything shuddered before it.

Kubei’s victorious smile was reflected on the water ball.

"No one can be your scapegoat now," he looked at the direction where the Cleaners left, and

said in a joking manner, "the Cleaners are coming, it’s time for you to run."

Michelle watched the tiny water ball, dumbfounded.

She manipulated Kubei by using his lack of knowledge on the Cleaners, but Kubei also retaliated using the fact that Michelle had no idea that he could use magic.

The Cleaners will start their chase once again after they sense the Waterball Spell, and it was impossible for Michelle to escape with Kubei trailing after her, slowing her down. The only way she could escape was to leave Kubei behind. Then, Kubei would behave like an innocent hostage, and the Cleaners would escort him back to the Lithur family.

Of course, it was possible for Michelle to kill Kubei as she was infuriated, but he felt the possibility was slim. If she had to take on the blame of killing a noble, the pressure on her would increase disproportionately. The Cleaners are not ones that are easy to deal with, Michelle could only have the chance to escape if she left Kubei here to delay their chase.

Just like that, Kubei could successfully escape, and Michelle would get nothing.

Perfect.

When there was an imbalance of power, Kubei gave the impression that he was weak in order to switch the battlefield from a physical one to one of wits. Finally, he used a tiny factor as a huge leverage to change the scales of victory.

What could he say?

Knowledge is power!

"Hahahaha! Did you see that? Who did you call useless? I retaliated using only a Waterball Spell! I’m so fucking smart!" He yelled at the System in his heart.

"…." The System was quiet, and suddenly an emoji of a person wiping off his sweat was in

front of his eyes.

"Wait, you can use emojis? This is unfair!" Kubei whined after he was taken aback by surprise.

The System lagged for a while before saying, "I hope you don’t count your chickens before your eggs are hatched. I presume that she would not give up that easily."

Just as it said, Michelle finally awoke from her shock, glared at Kubei and spoke slowly with a clenched jaw, "Who said I ran out of scapegoats? The Cleaners will not bother if you are a young master from the nobles if I wrapped the cloak around you. They would cleanse you to ashes!"

Kubei was not surprised either, "Of course, you could do that."

The System also said that Michelle would not give up easily. She will not give up the treasury, and his identity of Grant Lithur was the best bet she had on getting to the treasury.

She cannot kill Kubei if she wanted that, or she would have to plan another kidnapping act. With the first attempt being so worrisome, would she go for another shot? Where can she find another two people to be her cannon fodder?

It would also be impossible for her to bring Kubei along and escape the Cleaners. Kubei would slow down her progress like he previously did, and with the quick Cleaners nipping at their heels, it would take no time for the Cleaners to catch up to them.

She could only let Kubei go and hope for him to cooperate with her. Although the thought seemed a tad unrealistic, but that was her only choice.

Regardless, it was Kubei who has the power now.

"Lady Michelle, why don’t we discuss a new way for us to work together," he imitated the composed manner Michelle used just now and said, "You will let me go, and in exchange, I will get whatever you need from the treasury. Think about that, it will be much more effective than you dragging me around, trying to escape the Cleaners’ radar."

Michelle went silent, and finally sighed, "You won."

Kubei heard this once again after 5 hours, but this time, he will not get slapped in the face by his own plan.

F#@%! I lived!

It was as if he climbed in the darkness for half of his life and experienced numerous hardship and despair. He swallowed every urge to suffocate, until every limb of his was numb, every muscle trembled and tore. Now, he finally saw the first rays of the dawn.

This feeling was very alike to one of a student who submitted the last paper in his finals.

He was the young master of a noble family. As long as he gets past this, he would enjoy the riches and gold of the future! This was the best reincarnation he could wish for when he took his previous life as a broke peasant as a comparison, he thought.

"Look out!" The System suddenly notified him.

Before Kubei could react, a fist was thrown to him like a thunderbolt. With a bang, it hit

him square on his left cheek.

Fuck! What the hell?

Unexpectedly, Michelle used her unimaginable strength to punch Kubei. It is worth noting that Michelle could carry Kubei like a bag and get him up a tree with one hand. Her strength could not be underestimated.

Besides, this punch included Michelle’s anger of being deceived. It was a full punch.

Kubei could only see black as he lost his consciousness. When he was nearly out of it, he

could hear the voice of the System.

"Ah, this is the literal meaning of getting a punch in the face by your own actions!"


next chapter

章 10: The Sleepwalking Dirty Thing

Kubei dreamt when he was dazed and groggy.

He went back in time to when he was in Junior High. It was a woozy afternoon, and the English teacher still had a bob cut. He was standing on the podium, writing on the blackboard with her back against the students. The chalk repeatedly hit the blackboard, making thick, heavy noises in the room.

He felt dizzy.

Kubei couldn’t see what was written on the blackboard. Everything was out of focus. He could only stare at the folds of the teacher’s shirt that was on his back. Everything else was getting further and further, but only the raised line of the buckle underneath the pink sweater was clear even to the smallest detail.

Kubei felt his neck and face itch after looking at it for too long.

Suddenly, the English teacher turned around, and Kubei saw the face of a man over 40, with spectacles and donned with lipstick. It was his boss.

The boss then pointed at Kubei and yelled, "Balala Energy, transform!"

"…."

Once again, Kubei jumped awake in shock.

This was the second time he woke up from a bizarre dream. He felt nauseated, like he was cramped in an overcrowded train for 2 hours. Fortunately, he no longer was tied at a strange place. He did not have an ache all over his body. He felt only a dull pain on his left cheek. Seemed like it was swollen, too.

Left cheek….

Kubei slowly regained his consciousness, and he remembered everything. He was punched solidly on his left cheek by Michelle, and then… He knew nothing about what happened next. He most probably passed out from the impact, had a strange dream, and woke up here.

What happened?

He opened his eyes to find that it was dark. He could see nothing, and for a moment he thought he was blind. He tried moving his limbs, and he faced no problem in that. He was lying on something that was soft.

It was similar to his small bed.

Did he teleport back? Or was everything just a dream?

He sensed his surroundings more attentively and realised that no, this was not his home. He could hear the faint tick-tock from far away, but his house never had an old mechanical clock like that. Furthermore, this quality of this bed felt more like those that were sold for more than RMB 1000 in Ikea. He touched them too many times in the malls, but he could never afford them. Hence, this must be some other place than his house.

"Hey, is anybody there?" After some consideration, Kubei decided to be more careful and asked.

There was no reply.

Kubei called again in his brain, hoping that the System would know something he did not. However, the System seemed to have vanished. If it was not for the blue triangular symbol that still shined in the space of his consciousness, he would have thought that he met with a supernatural event.

The symbol also clarified that he did not dream everything up, and had yet to travel back to his initial world.

Since he was still in this world, there was only one question left. What did Michelle do after he fainted from her punch?

He pondered on it for 5 minutes and concluded that lying around doing nothing was not going to solve anything. Regardless, Michelle did not kill him nor let the Cleaners terminate him. He survived, and that was good news. Although Kubei knew Michelle still needed him, he still felt unsure when he used the Waterball Spell.

What if, what if Michelle really did kill him?

However, he was alive now, and that was all that matters.

Kubei felt relieved after he reached this conclusion. At this point, he barely picked up his own life, why should he be worried about everything now? Since Michelle still required him, she would not be able to do anything even if he did do something improper.

Hence, Kubei got out of bed.

A pair of shoes was placed by the bed, and he felt them around to put them on. At the same time, he found a steel product by the bed. He felt it with his hands, and it was hard and heavy, shaped somewhat like a can.

Kubei followed his heart and took it with him as a defensive weapon.

He took two steps ahead and touched a door. There was a handle on the door, which felt quite modern. He tried twisting the door knob and it opened, letting some light into the room. Kubei felt more relaxed now. Anyone who could not see for such a long time would be afraid too.

However, the light was too sheer to be called light, really.

Kubei studied his surroundings using the weak lighting he got. This looked like a mansion, and outside the door was a long hallway. There was a soft scent in the air, and the window at the end of the hallway allowed some moonlight into the house. That made the house feel less spooky.

Again, it was at night. It was incredibly quiet, it seemed like everyone was asleep.

Where was this? It was very similar to the manors that were inhabited by the nobles from the 16th or 17th century. Kubei remembered he had seen them before on the television.

Thinking, Kubei took two steps forward. Suddenly, a low sound was heard from his back.

It was a low whine, and Kubei was so frightened that all of his goose bumps appeared. He quickly turned towards the noise.

At the end of the hallway, a thing that looked like a human walked slowly towards him. Why did he say it was a thing? It was because he could not see anything from the poor lighting, and the thing moved in a peculiar way. It swayed from left to right, and moved more like a zombie than a human.

Also, that whine would not feel out of place if you inserted it into Plants vs Zombies.

"Fuck, is that a ghost?" Kubei felt quite terrified.

He felt that something was wrong with the setting of this world. He previously saw mages and the church, so what was a zombie doing here? Unless, the name of this novel was somewhere along the lines of <Resident Evil – Mages>?

He felt as if he was struck by thunder.

The silhouette that resembled a human approached him gradually, and Kubei still could not see anything in the dark. He could not check if the face was as horrendous as the ones with special effects that were drawn onto the actors. However, once he got out from shock and recalled the zombie movies he watched, he realised that this thing before him was not very threatening after all.

Look at the speed it had. It was moving like a sloth; how dangerous could it be?

Hence, Kubei calmed himself down and raised the heavy item he had in his hand. He waited quietly for it to come over. Around 30 seconds later, when he judged that the distance was appropriate, he threw the can directly at the thing’s head.

Clang!

A loud sound was heard, and Kubei felt a headache vicariously from the thing.

It halted it movements. Kubei nervously glanced at the silhouette, afraid that the impact did not affect it. The can was not very heavy at all. Based on this body that he teleported into, there was only a few heavy things that he could carry.

If it was not afraid of the can, what should he do?

Not the Waterball Spell, right? He never heard of zombies that are terrified of water.

Just when Kubei was anxiously staring at the thing, a horrifying scream started from the silhouette.

"Ahhhhhhh!"

That was such a devastating cry, it resembled an old cat with its tail stepped by a 200-pound person. It echoed throughout the mansion, and the lights in every single room lit up simultaneously, the doors opened one by one, footsteps were heard from every direction.

The once silent night suddenly became rowdy.

"Why? What happened?"

"Who was making so much noise in the middle of the night?"

"That voice, it was quite familiar."

"…."

The darkness was chased away, and Kubei was finally able to clearly see his surroundings.

The strange silhouette a few steps away from him was a man with golden hair. He wore silk pyjamas, his face was one of utter shock, an unknown brown liquid dripping from his beautiful curled hair. His pearly white pyjamas was also stained with lines of the liquid.

"Ah, oh…."

Kubei’s expression turned bad once he saw what happened.

So, the setting of this world was not weird. That was a human, not a zombie.

So, the can he used as a defensive weapon was…. Not an ordinary can.

Let us just say that it was the ‘toilet’ of this world.

The people of the house slowly gathered around them, most of them clad in rough sackcloth, and a few of them in silk pyjamas. Most of them were sleepy, but once they arrived, their eyes widened in disbelief.

As more and more people gathered around them, the rowdiness settled into silence.

Everyone was staring at the gold-haired man, and they dare not breathe. Not a sound was made.

"Pfft..."

Kubei could not help but laugh at the situation, but he quickly stopped himself as he knew that it was inappropriate.

"I am incredibly sorry, I did not intend to do so," it was so painfully hard for him to stifle his laugh.

The gold-haired man snapped back into reality and touched the unknown liquid on his face. He glared at Kubei, and his voice trembled like a cock with its throat slit, blood gurgling down its throat, "You… you… I… I… I… Fuck… Fuck…."

Kubei tried hard to supress his laughter, his face twisted in agony.

The golden-haired man’s face was scarlet, his chest heaved continuously, and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked like he wanted to finish his sentence, but his anger and despair choked his words in his throat.

"Do you want to say something?" Kubei asked with a friendly tone.

The golden-haired man seemed to be more agitated after that. He started twitching, and he pointed at Kubei with a trembling hand like a conductor for a long time. The unknown matter on his body went everywhere due to his trembling.

"Oh, don’t be too excited. Take a deep breath, and slow down." Kubei felt like he was the most considerate person in the world.

It seemed like the golden-haired man was comforted, as he inhaled deeply after Kubei’s words. Before he could exhale, his eyes rolled upwards, and he fainted with a thump onto the floor.

"…."

Dead silence.

Pin drop silence.

The people glanced at Kubei and the man fainted in the puddle of faeces, and occasionally shared eye contact among themselves, as if all this was outside of their comprehension. They were like a bunch of people under the Binding Spell, unmoving, and muted.

Awkward silence.

Awkward stench, too.

At this moment with the worst timing ever, a mechanical voice said in Kubei’s mind, "Wow, this dude is eating shit though."

The System’s attack was too sudden, Kubei could not help but lose his control. He laughed.

Every pair of eyes in the room focused on him. It was exactly how visitors would study a rare animal in a zoo. Kubei felt like he was under 10 spotlights, and he was very stressed about that.

He would be okay if they were just staring, but they were extremely quiet too. Kubei was very tense under the scrutiny.

He needed to say something.

"Um, it’s late, shouldn’t everyone be asleep?"


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