章 19: Chapter 19:Azula's dilemma
The morning sun illuminated Azula's dark room causing Azula to instantly jerk up. Although her internal clock was still a little wonky some of her senses were still present and she couldn't shake them. And after weeks of being stranded her she had settled in and started learning from the enthusiastic Kurokiba.
Although she thought Kurokiba was a pain at first, now she felt thankful she got to know her. She reminded her of Ty lee but in a way but she also had this dominating side to her, and Azula sometimes even felt in strange urge to be pinned by her against the wall and do untold things to her. Of course it was absurd to have a crush on her, Azula wasn't the type of person, but she also didn't know what to call how she felt.
The alluring scent of coffee, eggs and toast wafted into her nose. She slid out of the blankets, shook her head once more, after the initial 2 weeks of shock she was now in a state of disbelief, euphoric happiness and very very horny whenever Kurokiba crossed her mind and thought that her insane mind was just playing tricks on her or some other fucked up illusion to torment her. She just waited for the veil to be pulled from her eyes and the avatar or some other spirit to laugh in glee as she fell deeper in despair.
Azula believed her and Ozai's actions had earned them the ire of more than a few spirits and they would likely jump at the chance to get their revenge. Heck her ancestors literally overthrew their precious balance and pissed them off by starting this endless war so this whole charade was their revenge.
Like say, creating an illusion where she can be happy only to take it away and pull her into the depths of agony and heartache. Outlandish as they are, these thoughts couldn't be ignored and overlooked.
Azula looked into a full body mirror, she wore red sleepwear with blue stripes. She stood straight and proudly, he body having grown a few inches taller in the last months. She felt something slip every day she looked inside a mirror. Sometimes her father would show up and tell her how disappointed he was in her failure. On her worst days she saw her mother, the person she loathed and yet somehow loved the most.
She didn't recognize the person who stood before her. Who was she? She was princess Azula! If it wasn't for Zuko and that dammed water bending sow she would now be Fire lord Azula.
Titles aside, she didn't fear any spirits or the Avatar all of them were just part of an old system that needed to be destroyed and she and her father almost succeeded. That didn't matter now though, if they think they can break her by preying on her desires then they had another thing coming. She would show them!!
Azula declared internally as she created flames from her hands and slowly raised the temperature until it started affecting her too they were a powerful version of magic and chi melded to form hotter and more powerful flames. Trying to use pain to break this false reality.
"Why do you this to yourself Azula? "A soft motherly voice asked as a silhouette showed up behind Azula.
"Hmph why do you care mother." She spat at the mirror as the pain slowly spread and intensified.
"Because you're not thinking straight, you're hurting yourself and refuse to face your problem head on. I can't help but be concerned." The figure said with sadness.
Azula just scoffed and a mocking smile adorned her face.
"On the contrary I'm quite alert, nothing is real anymore I lost everything and now they want to laugh at my fall, I won't let them."
The woman sighed sadly, her eyes held pity, reluctance and love for her daughter. "Who is it you speak of? Nobody wants to hurt you Azula, your brother Zuko also loved you. He just wanted to help."
"Don't tell me all that crap!! He's a traitor , he put his own family in chains after he ran off to train the Avatar." Azula spat.
"Can you blame your brother? He's never felt loved or wanted by his own father and sister, he was constantly bashed for his kindness and compassion so-" The woman tried to reason.
"Oh boo hoo, what about me? You never loved me all you did was look at me with fear and favour Zuko over me. I trained hard to try and make you and father proud but you just pushed me away. Was it so hard for you to look at me with the same love you did Zuko?" Azula held back tears as she screamed and let the flames rage even more wildly no not even caring to control them. Some part of her knew she was being unreasonable, she knew that she was the main cause of her misery, but she didn't want to accept it.
She felt a wave of emotions violently swirl within her. Since her as early as she could remember Azula always felt unloved, even her own father viewed her as an asset, she'd never seen love in that man's eyes. Her mother on the other hand only loved and accepted Zuko while she tried to change her instead of understanding her. To fill that empty space, she fooled herself into believing that the attention that Ozai showed her was love. Worst of all the only people who loved her didn't love her enough to stay by her side. It was truly a tragic fate.
Her eyes stung painfully as tears fell from her eyes and she felt the walls close in on her. She chocked and cried her heart out for the first time in what felt like forever. The blue flames greedily made their way up her arms and engulfed the cloth and wooden floor.
"A...z..laaa!!!" She didn't even notice as someone screamed her name and ran into the flaming room.
A torrent of water washed over her and doused the flames causing her to look up and see a teary eyed girl look at her. She screamed at her but Azula couldn't hear her. Instead she was shocked that someone was crying for her, somebody actually cared about her!!
Her fleeting sanity in a last ditch effort to keep her grounded imprinted the image of hurt and crying Kurokiba deep within her mind. She felt a knot I'm her throat as Kurokiba suddenly started crying and hugging her. She was too stunned to do anything at first, but she also returned the hug.
"I'm sorry, I won't fail you just don't kill yourself please don't do that." Kurokiba's weak voice begged as she hugged Azula tightly.
The reason she had become so emotional was mainly due to one of the effects of her power, and also because she genuinely didn't want to see Azula hurt or broken like she was. After spending 4 months with Azula and seeing her express so many emotions ranging from amusement, anger, joy, thrill and curiosity. She had seen Azula slowly come out of her shell and acting more her age she just could help but start to develop a deeper affection for the girl.
...
Brief time skip, anyway please enjoy this chapter.
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