/ Anime & Comics / Vegeta Hakaishin[Hiatus]
概要
A boy dies and get reincarnated in Vegeta body and get his soul merged with the original. Now follow his history of dominance and how he put not only Vegeta name but also his Saiyan race at the top of all universe.
I do not own the Dragon Ball series. All rights are reserved to Akira Toriyama.
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33レビュー
4.26
- 翻訳品質
- アップデートの安定性
- ストーリー展開
- キャラクターデザイン
- 世界の背景
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Hello. i just started reading this story. And i realy like it. But im not sure if im fine with MC stealing Android:18 from Krillin. I know he is punching bag and slap stick humor of Dragon Ball series.But he deserve to be happy. so let him have at least Maron. You know.Bulma look like girl.
l like it so, have a meme.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The first chapter is where the protagonist spends his time getting some pointless wishes from God, And then the second chapter, the protagonist reincarnates without including any description of the surroundings, where It then turns into a mess of harem and boring conversation with Bulma. The battle training consists of lackluster descriptions, replaced with bland and monotonous words. Where's the excitement? Where's the tension? Then a random mention of Beerus in the distant future, that has nothing to do with current events. The protagonist just wishes for regeneration without any balance. The lack of progression in the first six chapters is like reading the descriptions of filler episodes. And even after that, when happens, it's just a copy of the original story. It fails to bring anything new to the table and instead relies on pointless conversations and badly written training sessions to fill the chapters. The dialogue is bad and completely unnatural, The protagonist acts more like Vegeta than an actual reincarnated MC, completely lacking any potential for a unique character, Not to mention the protagonist's uninteresting abilities.
Terrible grammar, terrible sentence structure, bad character design, bad story telling and an excuse of English isnt my first language. Don't release a public story if you haven't got an english speaking editor or your english isn't even as good as a 7th graders.
Please be consistent and update regularly. The story has great potential. I believe that if you keep up the work, you'll be able to overtake the highest rated DBZ fanfics.
fun fact, one of the easiest ways to loose readers is to ignore basic rules for writing, such as don't write conversations in a fic like you would in a screenplay. don't identify who's speaking by just writing their name. if you must specify who said what, use descriptors.
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Super Sayan 4 Royal BLUE.!!!! This would put Ichigo close to Grand Priest power.~
so far the things are ok here (good grammar, good plot and the world building is going well) i recommend it……………………. …………………. …………………. …………………. …………………. ………………….
Up to date chap 43 im liking this very much the overall story is fun and well structured the only nitpick for me would be the update stability is a bit random sometimes Besides that 10/10 would recomend
I'm liking how the story goes, keep going so you're doing well. I always hope a new chapter comes out and that you upload this story more often 10/10 super recommended to read
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Nice story.~ PS for you. Im glad your Vegeta will not treat Bulma like OG did. Lets be honest OG Vegeta treated Bulma terrible.