章 24: Chp 24:I wanted him dead
Lucas's POV:
I watched as Evan squeezed the life out of the man who assaulted me. A part of me wanted to stop him from killing someone.
But I couldn't bring myself to stop him. I wanted that man dead. 'What!? I just wished death upon someone! What's happened to me?'
Evan was enraged from the situation. I liked that he was this angry because of me. But I hated he wasn't here sooner. I hated how I wanted someone to die. I hated what I had become.
In an attempt to gather my thoughts, I sat there emotionless, not saying a single word. Evan asked of I was okay. But I didn't know how to answer and I couldn't. So I stayed silent. Allowing Evan to carry me back home and bathe me. I usually would of gotten super embarrassed about him bathing me but my mental state needed to be sorted out first.
I didn't say a word until we were tucked into his bed together. He joined me in his bed in order to keep watch over me, to keep me safe.
"I was terrified." I mumbled in deep thought.
"I was terrified of that man. I was terrified of the situation. I was terrified of myself. I wanted that man dead." I admitted.
"I wanted you to make that man suffer before he died. I wanted you to get there sooner. I wanted to kill that man with my own hands" My voice cracked and tears streamed down my face.
Evan simply hugged me tightly, listening intently to every word I said. Not questioning me, nor teasing me like he usually would. He didn't even respond. He just embraced me with his warmth that allowed me to cry out my whirlpool of emotions.
I calmed down a bit and stopped crying. I left a massive wet patch on Evan's shoulder from my tears, but he didn't seem to mind at all.
"I'm sorry." He said curtly.
"What.?"
"It's my fault you're upset. I should of gone with you. I should of gone looking for you sooner." His head fell and shame washed across his face. He blamed himself for what happened.
He didn't blame me. He wasn't upset with me. He was upset in himself. Why? He saved me at the most crucial moment. If he hadn't been there, I probably wouldn't be where I am right now. In fact if he didn't save me the last time this happened. I would surely be dead or worse.
I lifted his chin up with my hand, making him face me and my swollen eyes. "I don't blame you."
"But you should."
"Why? because you saved me?"
"Because it's my fault you were in that situation in the first place."
I rose eyebrows up in a 'really?'face.
Disbelieving what he had just said with a slight chuckle.
"That doesn't matter. I love you Evan. More than anything else in this world. Sure we got off to a bad start in the beginning, but it all worked out." A small smile creaked onto my face.
"I'm just glad I met you."
Astonished from my words his eyes grew in surprise. " You said it."
My face immediately blushed a deep red. "Said what?" I dared to ask.
"I love you." He smiled smugly. Super proud of himself from embarrassing me in that touching moment. 'Jerk'.
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