章 539: I'm just a Neet! I'm a weirdo!

Michael grins, "I do, neet-boy."

Kazuma gasps with what looks like tears in the corner of his eyes, his hand over his mouth as if he'd heard something so shockingly amazing that it was difficult to process it.

...

"What?"

Kazuma holds a hand up, "I-It's just... The only other person I've met like us is Mitsurugi-" he takes a moment to spit on the floor with a spiteful look which fades almost immediately after, "But you're not like him are you, Michael-san!? You don't have a cheated cursed sword? Or a harem, or..." he pauses, glancing over to Tiffania, Saya, and Megumin, and then to Derflinger who was lying on the floor next to them... "R-right...?"

Michael shrugs, "I'm only dating Tiff so, I guess?"

Derflinger laughs, "Don't forget about that crazy girl who's crazy in love with you, partner!"

"Ne, what's the sword talking about, comrade? Ne? Ne?" Kazuma dully asks as his hands slowly approach him.

"I can barely process it myself, so I'm not going to be talking about it with some pervert-neet-stranger. And you, shut up sword." Michael states as he picks up and sheathes Derflinger.

"This isn't right, this is unfair, right? This shouldn't be happening. Am I cursed?... Michael-san, you already have a hot elf-girl, give me the Yandere and I'll call it even... As long as she's not an orc girl or something."

"Mah, she's pretty cute in my-" Derflinger starts but gets a hard flick from Michael.

"Quiet, sword." he says before turning to Kazuma, "Even if I wanted to 'trade', she'd castrate you by the end of the day. You're dearly lacking the things she wants, one of which being strength... You'll need to beat her in combat to even get noticed. Which might be a problem considering how weak you are."

"Haaargh!" Kazuma yells while clutching his hair, "I REFUUUSE YOU SHITTY HAREM PROTAGONIST! DRAIN TOUCH-HAHK!" he shouts but gets chopped on the head by Michael which embeds him into the floor. Not one really cares though as they're focussed on Megumin, Yunyun, and Komekko. All except Aqua.

"Hey, I never saw you in my realm so someone else must have reincarnated you... Was it Eris? Or someone else?" she asks.

Michael shrugs, "I actually don't know. I got hit by a truck one day and ended up in another world. No tutorial, explanation, or reason was given. Maybe I got hit so hard I was given brain damage in the afterlife?"

She smiles at that, "I can find out for you, if you want?"

"Sure."

"-For a price... " she continues and grins at his annoyance, "Two-no, three! Expensive bottles of alcohol!" she exclaims, thrusting three fingers in his face.

Shrugging, he pulls three bottles of Vodka out and tosses them at her. "Alright, now do your job, 'Goddess'."

"Hmhm!" she hums as she gently places the alcohol down and begins using suspiciously powerful spells to look him over. But she soon stops with a grim expression, "W-what is this? W-why are my legs trembling?" she asks, more to herself than anyone else.

"You've got the scent of a god on you but I can't tell who... They're honestly really scary! I've never felt like this before!"

So she's still just a useless goddess... Well, at least the Dead God shows himself to be more powerful than Aqua...

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The next day the group convened with Hiropon, Yunyun's father who seemed pretty put out that Kazuma wasn't dead... Along with Michael's introduction... Regardless, they were more focussed on the Demon General Sylvia who'd attempted to kidnap Komekko yesterday.

Darth had actually managed to track Sylvia to some ancient ruins and was currently trying to figure out a way past a security panel that looked suspiciously like a gaming controller... From Darth's observation, she was becoming increasingly angry at her failure to solve it, and had now started to absorb the thing into her body.

They were supposed to be having a strategy meeting with the other Crimson Demon Clan members, but they'd all basically said "I'll do it myself for it is my destiny to do so." or some similar bollocks.

So, with a lack of any better options or information, they were forced to follow along without any meaningful plan that didn't deviate from 'Let the Crimson Demons, Yunyun, and Megumin shoot the fuck out of the Demon General'. Aqua was also interested in using some holy magic, but was shut down when they discussed Sylvia's race, Chimera, which wouldn't be all that bothered by such magic.

"So, what other Demon Generals have you actually killed? Kazuma?" Michael asks Kazuma who was sending glares at his back.

"Uh, well! We fought A Dullahan-"

"Who killed Kazuma two times before dying to my holy magic." Aqua adds, getting a scowl from the neet.

Shaking his head, he continues, "Vanir, a Devil wh-"

"Who killed Kazuma four times before I killed him..."

"A poison slime who-"

"Killed Kazuma before I killed him..."

"... A Lich who-"

"Kazuma won't let me exorcise."

...

"BEEE QUIEEET YOU SHITTY GODDESSSSSSS! IF I PICKED A POWER INSTEAD OF SOMEONE USELSS LIKE YOU I WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SHITTY SITUATIIOOOON!"

"Interesting." is all Michael could say in response to this.

The rest of the journey was quiet as they soon meet up with the other Crimson Demons who had gotten to work eradicating the lesser demons around the ruins. To be honest, Michael was surprised the ruins themselves were still standing with the level of destruction their spells were raining down.

The enemy retreats once they realise how hopeless the situation is so Hiropon walks over to the nearest Crimson Demon, "What's the status of the ruins? Has the Demon General been caught yet?"

"No, the lesser demons were blocking our path until now... Strange that they decided to retreat at this moment though..."

"Hmph! They must have been scared off by me!" Megumin cockily remarks while sending a look towards Yunyun who matches it with fervour. While they're doing their own thing, Saya decides to make her opinion known...

"Youknow, maybe waiting for the Demon General to get her/he/its hands on whatever's sealed in the ruins is a bad idea-"

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*