章 12: Sky Log #9: Fear the Nightmare
Nightmares...
Dreams that uses whatever information it can gather from the unconscious mind to turn into something frightening. It could take the form of something silly, like clowns or... deep rooted fears you have inside of you. Simply said, nightmares are just a manifestation of your worries and fears. Fears that you never quite registered in yourself.
I am a lone traveler.
Or the Lone Traveler.
Someone who was born into Sky alone. Someone who traveled through the realms alone for most part of my moth days until... I eventually settled into my family.
...
I have never known a greater fear apart from facing krills. Losing my wings to such bloodthirsty beasts was a disaster. Think of the hassle of wondering where your wings would have gone. Unless you didn't care about feeding your stars to the krills, you would be in for a nasty mood for the rest of your day.
Yet, upon getting to know my friends whom I now call as my family…
My greatest fear was losing them.
Not just losing them suddenly, but slowly.
One by one.
Never knowing when they leave but knowing that they will is a constant stabbing thought in my mind. There are always unpredictable circumstances that neither of us can avoid. Situations that neither of us can go against or even change. Things that will pull us apart and make us distant from each other. Or it can even be fights. Fights that are so big and so blown out of proportion that no amount of peacekeeping can mend that crack in your relationships.
It is so easy… to lose friends.
And, it is never easy to maintain a relationship of any sort. I find them to be like plants. Too much water, the roots will rot and die. But, too much sunlight or too little water, it will just shrivel up.
…
How can you change time that moves forward but never backwards?
How do you go back to the exact moment when everyone was happy?
Everyone grows up eventually.
Someday, some of us will have families and have to leave their lifetime of adventures behind. Someday, we will have jobs and find ourselves too busy to even play in Sky. Someday...
Some of us will leave Sky for good.
I cannot change the future that comes with such possibilities. Neither can I change my friends' choices when the time comes.
I can only...
Wish for their happiness.
Just months before, a friend of Val came to say his goodbye. He was getting married. Unfortunately, he had to leave Sky to build up his family. As his last farewell gift, he played a couple of heartwarming songs before he left. I may not have grown close to this friend, yet the suddenness brought up this fear in me.
More so after little Mo left.
…
In my days of watching others by the sidelines, I have grown to understand that there are things you cannot control. No matter how hard you try, some things just don't end the way you wanted.
Rather than close the door to your heart and refuse things that will bring you pain, why not… Keep it open?
Rain or shine, whether they stay or not is up to them. If they stay, cherish them and do your best to convey that their presence is appreciated. If they leave, don't weep at the loss of their presence. Instead, enjoy the good memories you have with them.
Yes, it will hurt.
Regardless it will hurt either way; you refusing them or you accepting them and dealing with the future.
The point is… There would be moments when you were happy in that period of friendship.
That is what matters.
To live is to experience all of these. If not these, then what is the point of being alive?
What is… the point of being a Sky kid?
Friends? Adventures? Or love?
If a kid denies friends for fear of loss and pain, they deny the central part of themselves. Eventually, they will lose themselves. They lose the meaning behind Sky and their love for it, before they cease to exist.
That, in my opinion, is the worse way to leave Sky.
If I were to leave Sky, leave behind the friends I have made, I would not leave forever. I will come back again. I have done it once. I can do it again. But I hope, if that happens, there will be at least someone I know waiting for me.
Just like Pianist.
Maybe he wasn't waiting for me. But he took my presence as something to be treasured, showing me a world beyond Sky. And that is good enough, for I am a person who repays goodness with kindness. I will not do anything more.
So, I will wait.
For who and how long?
I will wait for my friends for as long as I can, so that someday, we can adventure together. In the meantime, I treasure what little time I have with them.
So that when it is time for them to inevitably leave…
My memories of them will continue to keep them alive…
As though, they have never left in the first place.
クリエイターの想い 
DarkWinter3
DarkWinter3 I am so sorry for the late posting. With Chinese New Year celebrations and my assignments, it just push back the posting to now... I didn't mean to make your post-holiday mood bad but it has come to this part of the diary entries. I'm just writing a very relatable moment for everyone and for those who missed their friends who went MIA in Sky. I'm not sure if I will lose reads after this but I wasn't 100% planning to write happy diary entries. Just like how Sky doesn't give you guys a 100% fun filled game. *ahem* krills *ahem*
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