Every night since last Christmas, I wake up in a sweat and feel a burning sensation around my neck and my vigina. It feels like I'm re living what happened to me every time I sleep. My body wont heal it hurts everything hurts. It's been a year and I still haven't smiled, nor have I stopped feeling this pain. My foster homes have been great the lady who took me in is a forty year old woman named Elle. She has kind genuine love, her smile brings everyone who meets her relaxation. Her golden hair makes me think shes a angle, her gentle brown eyes. She has been there with me the whole time, she trys to get me to smile but I don't remember how to anymore. I feel bad she trys to make me smile and I can tell it hurts her to see me wake up in pain from rewatching what happened to me on Christmas eve. She doesn't blame me Miss Elle, she just shows love and cares for me even when I can't show it back.
Iv decided to run away in hopes to end my life, Its exactly a year later. Sorry mom I went on for a whole year, I tried to get better but its hopeless.
So I wrote a letter for Miss Elle;
Dear Miss Elle,
When you find this I'm sorry, Its been a year I have tried so hard. Yet cant get better so hopefully you dont find this before iv killed myself.. but I wanted to tell you who much you have helped me. Even though I never smiled at your jokes, that doesn't mean you didn't become my mother because you became my mother. I cant live because I'm still in pain I just want to be put down, except that's for pets. Humans get in trouble for that dont blame yourself. You helped me become a warrior, but now it's time for me to finally find peace and freedom.
Forever your daughter,
Elizabeth.
Miss Elle;
Elizabeth where are you its dinner time!
Elizabeth I made your favorite, its grilled cheese night!
Miss Elle looks in Elizabeth's room
where did she go it's not grocery night, maybe shes outside with the other kids.
Meanwhile Elizabeth is walking through cornfields.
These corn fields are so stupidly long and I can't see anything its pitch dark out. Where is that river at I could have sworn it was closer. I mean it makes sense that I'm lost because I couldn't use the pond at the home, Miss Elle would see or hear me and stop me. I have to go somewhere far away and somewhere even I don't know. It feels like someone is following me.
Russling noises continued, then there was a loud snap of a branch.
Okay I know there is something there for sure there is no way, that was my imagination!
Elizabeth screams outloud
COME ON YOU KILLER JUST END ME, IM READY TO DIE COME KILL ME! IM ASKING SO IF YOU'RE A SERIAL KILLER YOU SPARE A INNOCENT TONIGHT ATLEAST! ITS A GOOD IDEA RIGHT?
(Silence)
Elizabeth; what the I could have sworn someone was there?
Elizabeth continues walking through the corn fields...
Elizabeth; Finally the river
I'm sorry lord and all those who need me, but how can I help if I'm not happy? How can I help others find peace if I have non myself. The answer is I cant so I'll see you up there hopefully.
Elizabeth jumps in ties a rope to a rock and slips beneath the water.