章 127: Chapter 126
[??????? POV]
My childhood for the most part was uneventful, if you technically called what I went through a childhood… I don't think I even completed my childhood if I think about it now. Since for the most part of it I spent it in the hospital.
All I've ever known was the hospital, I had something called Leukemia, some type of blood cancer or something, I didn't really understand it.
When I woke up, Hospital, took a nap or ate food, I did that in the hospital, went to sleep, and was done in the hospital as well.
Now for the sad part… I don't think my mother or father liked me very much, I could see it in their eyes, sadness and regret. They regret it, they regret giving birth to me, although they didn't say out loud their eyes spoke volumes.
I'm ashamed to admit this but I cried every time I'm alone remembering their eyes.
They were always reluctant to come and visit me in the hospital, like it was something they were forced to do… like it was a chore for them.
I then learned later that my mother was pregnant once again and it was another girl, once that happened they started visiting me less and less… It was incredibly lonely, I couldn't get up from the bed so I couldn't even make friends with anyone around me or other patients in the hospitals.
My only company was the nurses that came and took care of me and the books they would give to me. Although I would see them occasionally look at me with pity, and I hated it, I hated those pity filled eyes, I… I… I felt so worthless when they looked at me like that.
As for the books… They were so booorrring. I think I would have had a better time ripping out the pages and making origami with them. They were all helpless princess this, helpless princess that, and to top it all off they were children's books. Which are even more boring.
They're basically telling me to lay here helplessly until a big strong man comes and saves the day. Unfortunately this is real life and not some Fantasy.
Well for the most part, it wasn't all that bad, after some point I think my parents felt guilty for not visiting me that they brought me a tablet and gave me a half hearted apology.
I can still remember their words…
'We'Re SoRrY fOr NoT viSiTiNg, BuT wItH tHe BaBy BeInG a NeWbOrN sHe CoUlD eAsIlY cAtCh SoMeThInG'
Please forgive my potty mouth for what I'm about to say but: BULLSHIT. They just don't want their baby to turn out like me, all sick and worthless.
Wanna know why I also know it's, once again forgive me, bullshit, umm well for one: BABY ARE BORN IN HOSPITALS, and what do they mean newborn she's a year old! For crying out loud.
Anyways, the tablet was cool though, I could read things I didn't even think imaginable. There was a story I read there. It was so fascinating, it mentioned reincarnation, which at the time I didn't know what it meant and so Hallelooya for Google.
The idea wasn't something I ever heard of, dying and being reborn with memories of your past life was something so farfetch'd. The story talked about a woman, facing something similar to me in a hospital bed dying and being reincarnated in a whole new world where she was a noble princess and became stronger as the story went on.
I didn't fully understand it, after all I'm only 10, there isn't a lot to understand, but I was hooked. She didn't remain a helpless princess like one of those lame fairy tales, she became strong and stood up for what she believed… She's so admirable.
Those stories sent my imagination into a frenzy. I dreamt of different scenarios where I would reincarnate, become strong, fall in love and fight battles, ride dragons…
Unfortunately I started to grow weaker, sleep more, I wasn't even allowed the tablet… stupid nurses.
A great pain blazed through my body I don't remember much I think I remember convulsing (learnt that word from my stories, aren't I smart)
I knew at the time that I was dying, with reading all those stories I thought that when my time came I would embrace death with open arms… but… but I can't… It's scary…
I don't want to go, I don't want to. Please don't take me. I'll be a good girl I swear… mommy… daddy… I won't be sick anymore. Please help me. I'll be strong. You won't have to worry about me getting my little sister sick because I'll be strong and healthy… so please…
My pleading fell on deaf ears, no one could hear my worthless cries, I felt myself drowning in the darkness that was death and sorrow.
I could hear the sound of my heart monitor beating frantically, which was followed by the noise of multiple footsteps rushing to the room. It felt like I was watching everything from outside my body.
I saw the doctors do everything they could to keep me alive, they really did try their best and for that I'm truly thankful.
But in the end the last thing I heard was the monitor let out a loud beep before I couldn't hear it anymore.
I felt myself being grasped by death… I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry daddy… for not being the little girl you always wanted.
Everything then went dark
…
I saw a light at the end of a tunnel. I heard muffled screaming and felt myself being pushed and squeezed. It felt gross, all slimy and sticky.
I kept drawing near the light as I got closer I started to hear their voice much clearer, I still didn't have the ability to process what was occurring.
But as the voices became clearer I heard them. It was like a completely different language, but for some reason I understood them perfectly.
"YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT EARLIER!" The voice of a woman yelled
"I just need one last strong push, and she'll be out!" another one softly said.
What followed was a loud yell and me being squished and pushed to the white light to the point it hurt and I couldn't help but cry out loud.
"Wahhhh! Wahhhh! Wahhhhh!"
"And she's out! Congratulations, it's a healthy baby girl," The voice of the soft woman said,
Causing me to yell in my head 'NO WAY I'VE BEEN REINCARNATED!?'
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