章 9: Nine
The rest of the month moved forward with nothing unusual taking place. Haven kept herself busy, working as hard as she could, taking extra shifts when they were available, and keeping Clementine with her as much as humanly possible. She and Sarah spent more and more time together in the evenings and early mornings—doing Bible studies, having dinner in one of their rooms, watching old sitcoms, playing with Clementine.
The start of November brought the holiday craziness. Haven hadn't ever seen a proper holiday before, so she was taken slightly aback at how fast everything started to move at the inn. Nearly every suite was booked, which meant the level of meals being prepared, cleaning needing done, and rooms being turned over skyrocketed.
Haven didn't really mind, and actually found herself to enjoy the busy workdays. She liked having so much to do and being busy. Besides, working with Sarah seemed to help her focus less on the nightmares that still plagued her when she was by herself.
One exceptionally busy day, as the foyer was loud with the buzz of people talking, asking for directions, being told where their room was, and greeting family and friends, Haven was assisting Sarah at the receptionists' desk. Clementine was sleeping in a spare cradle which had been tucked in the small nook just beneath the desk out of everyone's line of sight.
Sarah encouraged Haven to take as many rest breaks as she needed. Haven reluctantly did, but stopped only long enough to feed Clementine, again passing up her breaks and meal times, trying to match Sarah's intensity. When the sun had fallen beyond the horizon and the sky turned dark, things started to rapidly settle down and Haven felt like she could breathe again.
Groaning in complete exhaustion, Haven leaned her elbows on the desk and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Man, talk about a crazy day," Sarah chuckled, making sure the doors and windows were locked. She walked beside Haven and gave her a big hug, kissing the side of her head. "You were a rock-star, by the way," she said encouragingly.
Haven smiled, her face flushing at Sarah's praise. Straightening, she arched her back in a stretch. "I had fun."
"You have fun?" Sarah asked, her eyebrows shooting up.
Haven giggled. "Yeah."
"Alright, you do you," Sarah laughed, shaking her head. She started straightening the desk out for tomorrow. She glanced at Clementine, sleeping quietly. "Are you hungry?"
Haven nodded again. "Very."
"Ditto. Come on, let's take some dinner up to my room and relax."
Haven eagerly nodded. "Can we listen to another one of your sermons? Or, I mean, Pastor Mike's sermons."
Sarah laughed. "I know what you meant. And yes. I'll grab some food and meet you up there."
"Okay." Haven reached in and scooped Clementine up. The little one stretched her arms, her eyelids fluttering open as she woke. Gently swaying back and forth for a few seconds, Haven gazed admiringly at her daughter.
Clementine smiled her toothless smile, her face scrunching up.
"She's beautiful," a voice said.
Haven jumped. Turning, she immediately went rigid when a young man and woman paused by the desk as they were on their way back from the dining room. Her heart pounding in her chest, Haven could only stare blankly back at them.
"Is she your sister?" the woman asked, smiling at Clementine.
Haven swallowed, and managed a small nod.
"How old is she?"
"Two—two and a half months," Haven stammered. Before she had the chance to say anything else, the young woman reached her hand over, probably to stroke Clementine's cheek. Haven's grip on Clementine tightened and she recoiled, jerking back and bumping into the wall behind her.
"Oh I'm—I'm sorry," the woman murmured, lightly frowning. She turned to the man with her. "Have a good night," she added as they turned away and walked up stairs.
Only after they had disappeared did Haven suck in a lungful of air.
"Haven are you okay?" Sarah asked, pausing as she walked past with a huge tray of food.
Haven couldn't say anything. Her vision had grown blurry as tears filler her eyes. Her chest started to rise and fall faster as the corners of her vision turned black.
"What happened?" Sarah murmured. She set the tray down, her face clouding with worry. Resting her hand on Haven's shoulder, she cast a glance around. .
Haven tried to get her heart to slow down, but it wouldn't. Her eyes continued to fill with tears, beginning to trickle down her face. She stifled a sob and her voice shook as she quietly replied, "Th-they saw her."
"Who saw her?"
"The couple who checked in this morning. I—I thought everyone had gone upstairs so I took her out of her cradle and they saw her!" Haven cried, close to hysteria.
"Okay, it's okay," Sarah replied, moving closer to Haven and putting her arms around her.
"No, no, no. What if they figure out she's my baby? They saw me, they know what I look like, and then seeing me with her—and, and… what if they tell someone and word gets back to Damien—"
"Haven." Sarah pulled away and forced Haven to look at her, brushing a tear from her cheek. "I cannot begin to imagine the level of fear you're experiencing right now; for yourself, for your daughter… But I can promise you that no one will think anything strange about you or Clementine. Whether or not they put together that she's your child, why would they think anything off about a young girl and her baby at some random inn at which they stayed? And who would they tell? Their family?"
Haven swallowed. Her chest was tight and her hold on Clementine was still strong. She tried to stop her flow of tears, easing the tension in her muscles. "I know, it's just… what if he does find her—"
"He's not going to," Sarah repeated, enveloping Haven in another embrace. Very slowly, with her free arm, Haven tightened her grip on Sarah and buried her nose in her shoulder.
Sarah let her settle down for a moment before gently pushing her away again so she could look at her.
Haven managed a small smile, relief making her dizzy. "So it-it'd be okay if people saw her?" she whispered timidly.
"Of course," Sarah replied, almost chuckling. She tucked some of Haven's hair behind her ear. "And you don't even wear a name tag or anything, so what if word did reach Damien about a young girl who has a baby? He doesn't know who that is, what she looks like, how old she is… any of that. He would have no way of linking her to you."
Haven nodded slowly, beginning to feel a small weight lift off her chest. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. Positive."
"Ok-okay," she stammered, sniffing again.
Sarah kissed her forehead, giving her a final squeeze before gesturing back towards the stairs. "Still hungry?"
Haven nodded.
Sarah picked the tray back up and followed Haven upstairs. As soon as they were seated comfortably in Sarah's room, right across the hall from Haven's, she relaxed.
"Do you want me to take her so you can eat, or are you good?" Sarah asked, nodding towards Clementine as she set everything out on the small table.
Haven looked down at Clementine. She was looking around, her eyes wide with wonder as she gurgled to herself. "Could you… hold her for a few minutes?"
Sarah smiled, nodding. She moved slowly, letting Haven take the lead, as she took the little infant. "Ooh, someone's getting heavy. Putting on a couple pounds."
Haven smiled nervously. "Is—is that good? I've been feeding her every three hours."
"No, that's great! She should be getting bigger." Sarah looked up at Haven, who was viciously chewing her lip. "You're food's going to get cold, kiddo."
"Oh, yeah." Forcing herself to focus on eating, Haven sat down opposite Sarah and dug in. Having had nothing to eat all day, she realized she was famished. Sarah had brought up soup, sandwiches, some garlic bread, and cookies for dessert. And enough of it for an army, too.
"Everything tastes okay?"
Haven nodded, her mouth full. "Really good."
Clementine started sucking on her fist.
"When was the last time she ate?" Sarah asked.
"Uh… about three hours ago. Oh, I should feed her, right?"
Sarah nodded. "Yeah. But I'll do it; you finish eating."
Haven froze where she was. Sarah got up and moved towards her bed, where Haven had dropped her bag. It had been stocked with several bottles, spare diapers and wipes, and a small blanket. "I packed too much, didn't I?" Haven asked, seeing Sarah studying the contents of her bag.
Sarah looked up, confused. "What?"
"I'm sorry, I was just afraid if she got really hungry or, made a few too many… messes, I should be prepared and not need to worry about running up and down the stairs all day."
"That was smart of you," Sarah smiled. She picked up one of the already-made bottles. She sat down again and started feeding Clementine. "I have a challenge for you."
Haven frowned, her spoon in midair. "What—what kind of challenge?"
"I want you to practice not always jumping to the defensive, and only apologizing when it's necessary."
Haven's frown deepened. "What do you mean?"
"For example, just now. I was looking in your bag for a bottle and you started apologizing for packing to heavy and explaining why you brought what you did. You have no reason to say you're sorry; I didn't say anything negative to you or anything like that. And even if you did over pack, it's fine. You didn't do anything wrong. There was certainly nothing to apologize for."
Haven played with her hair, twirling it around her fingers and smiling awkwardly. "Oh. I guess I just… I don't want you to be upset if I do something wrong or mess up. Or think like… I don't know. I just figured if you knew that I knew I made a mistake."
Sarah smiled. "Here's the thing though, Haven. You're going to make mistakes. And you're going to do things differently than how someone else would do something. That's okay. Okay?"
Haven nodded slowly. "Okay. Only apologize when it's necessary."
"Right. Sound like a plan?"
Haven nodded again, eagerly this time. "Mm-hm."
"Good."
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