章 45: Haunting (part 2)
While I was deep in my thoughts, Rake is still finishing with the living room. After he was done, he went to my place.
"You're done with this one?"
He asked from the door, and I turned my tired gaze at him.
Looking at him now made me realize exactly how special this guy is. A handsome young man who is not even twenty yet, a talented guy with strength beyond everybody else, and mind sharper than a blade.
He has everything. The riches, the looks, the strength, and the smart mind. The only thing he is missing is his attitude, but realizing how much worth the rest of his plusses are, it makes sense if his attitude is terrible.
How… detestable.
"Will you… please answer?"
I said with a low voice, and the guy looked very confused. I turned my sharp gaze at him again, and I asked… for the last time.
"Why… are you helping me?"
Hearing the same question over and over again must've been quite tiring for him. But since he never answered, it only makes sense if the asker will ask again.
Rake looked quite annoyed by the question, that he looked away and barked.
"Why does it matter?"
"Why do you think?"
From how troubled his expression is, I can tell something. Something that he has been keeping very deep inside his heart, inside his mind.
I stood up from my position, with a really annoyed look on my face.
"No... fucking way."
My right hand went to the window, and I took a large piece of glass shard. Using enough strength, I threw it at him.
PRANGGGG!!!
The large glass piece flew past his ears and finally crashed to the wall. It broke into pieces as it fell to the floor.
Rake dodged it easily, and I knew that he would dodge. I just wanted to see exactly how long he can keep this up.
"Are you actually… Are you being serious?"
My hand grabbed yet another glass shard, and this time I didn't throw it. I held it with me, and I gripped it so hard that my hand bled.
I am so uncontrollably angry right now. Not because I had enough with him keeping all these secrets, but because I just realized why he kept that reason a secret.
And from how he is reacting, I can tell that my guess was correct.
Rake is still silenced. His face is still looking down, and his eyes are still closed.
"No way, right? There's actually no way that's why, right!?"
This time, I rushed forward.
As usual, Rake is always a master of dodging. My hand couldn't touch him at all, and my kicks never impacted on anything aside from the floor.
But this time, I had a goal. So many times I tried attacking him and was continuously dodged. This time, I know what to do.
I purposely made him dodge to one position.
"!!!"
Gotcha.
His foot stepped on the glass shards that I threw previously.
As such, it caused him pain and made him lose balance.
SHREKK!!!
I did a sideways slash to his chest with the sharp glass piece, and managed to ruin his beautiful white clothes. A long sideways slash can be seen on his chest, followed by blood gushing out quickly. Noticing this, Rake immediately jumped backwards.
But, I'm not letting him.
BAAKKK!!!!!
My foot arrived on his stomach, causing him to lose balance even further.
The fight has now moved to the outside of the room, and now we are right next to the railing. Good.
Rake is now stunned from the sudden stomachache, and he won't be able to dodge as quickly as before. He tried standing up again, and he managed to dodge my first punch.
But I learned this trick from a knight's training I saw before. It's where you threw a right hand punch forward, but then you spun your body clockwise and landed a powerful left foot kick.
BAAKKK!!!!!
BRAAAKKKK!!!!!!!!
I did the kick perfectly, and Rake fell to the first floor.
The railings were completely ruined because he crashed through it, and he fell right on the living room table, destroying it in half. The kick was strong enough to throw the guy to the railings, and since the railings weren't that strong, he crashed through it and fell to the first floor.
My gaze was still locked onto him, who was writhing as he tried to move from the table. But, I knew. He is strong, such attacks shouldn't pose any pain to him.
"Rake… you can't be serious."
I spoke again, because it will take time until I arrive downstairs. As I walked down the stairs, I kept on talking.
"You came to my home… you caused a large explosion that destroys my city's defenses…"
Yeah. I learned about that. News travels fast when you're surviving by yourself.
I learned about all of it when I was all by myself in that wretched human town. How the greatest hero of the humans, the Paladin hero, sneaked into my hometown and destroyed its defenses. This act causes the city to be defenseless, and allows the army who were waiting outside to enter effortlessly.
"I don't even want to imagine how the deaths of my people went… but I bet you were there."
During the path down, I noticed some parts of the railings were rather old and weak. Without any thought, I pulled the wood away, giving myself a very weak baton.
… This will do.
"Why don't you tell me what you saw…? Maybe you can enlighten me."
I finally arrived at the bottom of the stairs. Rake is already lifting his body up, but he's not standing. He's just sitting there, silent and stupid.
"Tell me, Rake… For the sake of making my pain easier, please. Tell me."
Rake then turned his lifeless gaze at me, and that's when I noticed it once again.
He is only paying attention… when it is about me.
My suspicion became more and more confirmed the more this goes.
BAAKKK!!!!
I didn't even bother hitting him with the stick, and I just threw it at his head. He definitely didn't dodge that on purpose, and now his forehead is bleeding.
I kept on walking in silence as I arrived right next to him. Looking at him now made me feel even angrier, because he is all battered up.
He is strong. Very strong, without a doubt. He fought many knights of a kingdom all by himself, and he killed them all without receiving any damage. He sneaked into a kingdom all by himself and took down their defenses, also all by himself. He is the strongest human hero, famed for many achievements.
And yet, here he is, all battered up because of an angry princess.
I arrived right in front of him, but he is still simply sitting down. He is not standing up, nor is he protecting himself.
But, I'm not confused. After all, I know exactly why he is letting me beat him up.
Yet… I asked anyway.
"Are you… seriously feeling guilty?"
The question was thrown, but Rake is not reacting one bit. His silence made my ears hurt, and it hurts even more deep inside.
He really is… feeling guilty.
BAAAKKKK!!!!!!!!!
I didn't hold back in this one, even though I should have.
My right foot just casually flew towards his back, and it hit him in the back perfectly. His body flew to the wall on the left, which surprised me because I didn't know my kick was that powerful.
"Ghaahkk!!!"
I can hear him coughing blood right after he crashed. His back is definitely going to have such a large bruise thanks to the kick, and his body is totally wrecked.
But Rake is still not lying down. He pushed his body up and leaned his back on the wall. His arms and legs couldn't move, and his head is already bleeding badly from the throw I made.
I arrived in front of him, and I leaned lower. I placed my legs around his, and with enough strength, I moved my hands.
BAKK!!!
BAAKKKK!!!!!!
This is not fun… I hate doing this…
But, I have to. Otherwise, we won't be going anywhere.
BAAKK!!!
After the fifth punch, I stopped. I placed my hand on his collar and pushed his face closer to mine.
"You came to my kingdom… you killed everyone. You created that large explosion, and you killed… so many people!!
And you're feeling guilty!? You think--You think you have the right to feel guilty!?"
Rake stayed silent, and I immediately realized that I am the only one speaking. So I toned down, and I let go of his collar.
"… Was this… what you want?"
I asked him coldly, and judging from how his eyes became smaller, I knew he was grinning.
"Con… ti… nue…"
This is so pitiful.
His wish, right now, is for me to continue beating him up. He really wants to feel the pain, to ease the much more painful feeling that is inside his heart. By having me, the person he is feeling very guilty to, hurt him as much as I wanted to.
But I… can't.
I had to hurt him not because I wanted to, but because I have to.
Because he... Rake needed it.
How… did everything come to this…?
How did you become such a person like this…?
How did the world allow this to happen?
"Tell me… Please, tell me…"
This time, I can't hold it back anymore.
I gripped his collar again, and I pulled it closer to my forehead.
And so, I let go.
Tears were welling up heavily on my eyes, and soon they began to fall. Rake noticed that I am now not playing around anymore, and the grin on his face disappeared. I lowered my face so that he wouldn't see me cry, but in the end he can still notice it anyway.
"Why are you helping me…?"
I asked while continuing to do my best to hold my emotions back, but it was too late since the tears were already falling heavily to his chest.
Rake knows that I am now asking him with my all, showing that I truly wished to know it now more than ever. His eyes turned away from me, and switched to the ceilings.
"I don't… know…"
"Why are you helping me…?"
"I don't know why I did it…"
My eyes were opened wider, but this time I went silent and let him continue.
"I don't understand it either… I worked so hard to… fulfill the mission. To take down Velborn from the inside… I studied… hard. I came up with multiple plans… I was very serious about defeating the ethelens…
So when I heard about the second command… I couldn't do anything.
I was not expecting… for there to be a genocide. I did not want it… all I wanted was to complete my mission and gain my father's attention… but even after I did it, he hated me even more for what I did.
I don't get it… I tried so hard, then why did everything go wrong…?"
Rake too, also started to cry. He was reminiscing of the things that happened in just a span of a single day. How his emotions rode a roller coaster, before finally falling into a point of no return.
He is finally opening up. And to me, the person who he is opening up to, I can already see so many things that have been kept hidden within the perfect man known as Rake Ignicius.
He is… destroyed.
He worked hard to complete his mission, but his goals were still not achieved. If anything, it made things so much worse for him. He, who was simply doing a mission, all of a sudden is now responsible for the greatest sin possible.
There's no way he is not regretting it. And there is no way him being with me here has no relation to that feeling of regret.
That feeling… called 'Guilt'.
"You are… you really are… feeling guilty?"
I asked with the last bit of my breath, and Rake also answered with a sorrowful voice.
"I don't know."
My back finally lost its strength. My head landed on his chest, and my tears fell even faster. Rake lifted his hand to hold my head, and I let him.
I let him caress me. He knows that I don't wish to hurt him anymore, and he knows that I have understood everything.
So, this is my reality now.
I don't understand... I don't want to understand, but I need to.
If Rake, the person who is responsible for killing my people… is feeling guilty…
If Rake, the person who should've been my final goal of revenge, turns out to be not the bearer of the responsibility…
What should I do?
Who… is my enemy?
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