章 1641: 12
"That aunt of your is pretty hot," she mentioned as she straightened her skirt out. "I'd fuck her and I'm not even bi."
"First of all, ew, she's my aunt," I said, making a wry face. "Second, she's a lesbian, so you'll have more luck with her than any guy ever will."
"Oh, c'mon," she said, palming a crease out of my shirt. I had to admit, she liked taking care of whatever guy she was with. "Can't you at least objectively admit that your aunt is stupidly attractive?"
"Yeah, I see it, but there's always the squick factor," I insisted, returning the favour and smoothing out her blouse. "So yes, she's attractive, I just don't know why everyone, my own mother included, insists on asking my opinion."
"Betcha wish she wasn't your aunt, though." Heather said slyly, reaching down and cupping my cock though my trousers and making me shiver. "Y'know, I've been thinking... I'm on birth control, and I know you're a straight-up kinda guy who would always be level and never give me anything. I might break my condom rule for you one day and let you start cumming in me. Because I'll bet that'd feel really good for both of us."
"It usually does," I agreed, trying not to squirm as she fondled me. She was really good at what she did. True, she wasn't Alexa, but she knew how to turn a guy on. Why was I so conflicted by all of this? "And yeah, I would agree. Cumming inside you would feel really good."
"Then that's what we'll do next time, slugger," she whispered in my ear as she leaned forward. "Now let's get back before too many people notice we're missing."
She turned around and led me back by the hand, clearly pleased with how her afternoon turned out.
"What can I say, weddings make me horny!" she said cheerfully.
***
The reception proper back at the university hall had begun, with a DJ providing the music. People danced and laughed, drinks flowed freely, there were many toasts, and people tapped their forks on their glasses endlessly, simply because people loved watching Freja and Jeanie squash their boobs together when they kissed, something they were only too happy to do.
And because this was Freja's wedding, karaoke was inevitably involved. She sang some Danish love song to her bride, which, frankly, sounded like a cat being strangled. It was probably just Freja, because if that had actually been how Danish love songs sounded, the race would have been extinct. People applauded loudly, my mother because Freja had finally stopped singing.
"Hey," Alexa said, sidling up to me and speaking quietly. "Wanna help me troll your dad?"
"Like you even need to ask?" I replied, grinning. We assumed our place by the microphones and dedicated the song to dad, on behalf of the nation of Denmark. Everyone (except dad) was roaring with laughter as we sand the Aqua song 'Dr. Jones', with me providing the male vocals while Alexa sang the female lead. We concluded the song to much applause, especially from the Kjaer family present. Alexa went back to her place at the head table while I visited mom and dad, sitting down next to him.
"Forræder." he grumbled at me.
More people butchered more songs, the karaoke occasionally punctuated by dancing. I ended up dancing more than I normally would, with mom, Alexa, Heather, the brides, Freja's mother and a few of the younger girls, who blushed and giggled as I asked them to join me. I guess having a few absinthe drinks in me helped.
Speeches were given, some in Danish, with Alexa providing comical and often intentionally inaccurate translations. She was really enjoying herself up on stage. It occured to me that she was a lot like my dad that way, whereas I took after mom, usually avoiding the spotlight unless called upon. It's not that mom was any sort of a shrinking violet, of course, she just found people gawking at her annoying. She could give lectures to intellectuals like nobody's business, but drunk crowds were not her thing.
Freja and Jeanie were both rather inebriated at this point, and had been convinced to read each other's vows out loud. This caused endless laughter, since Freja couldn't read Jeanie's terrible handwriting or atrocious spelling, while Jeanie was trying to read her wife's Danish. She sounded like she was having a stroke with a potato in her mouth.
One of the highlights of the evening was the bride throwing the bouquet tradition. There were two bouquets, so Jeanie and Freja tied them together, giving whomever caught the bouquet extra-good marriage karma, I guess. Dozens of women gathered in the middle of the dance floor while the brides turned the backs. Freja and Jeanie counted to three and tossed the bouquet back over their heads.
Every woman on the floor scattered away, leaving a very confused Alexa by herself in the middle. She'd caught the bouquet before she had fully realized what was happening. Everyone laughed and applauded and cheered for her, while she looked around in initial confusion and then dismay.
I glanced over at mom, who was smiling and winked at her sister. Damn, she'd convinced everyone to not grab for the bouquet so Alexa would get it by default. I'd heard of people doing that before, singling a girl out to get married in the near future. Everyone laughed and called out best wishes and hoping she'd meet the girl of her dreams. If they'd only known.
Our eyes met and locked. I couldn't look away, I had no reason to, I was supposed to be laughing. So I clapped and forced a laugh at the farce.
Dammit, Alexa, look away...
The evening continued with much gaiety and revelry, drunking singing and dancing. Everyone listened reverently while Alexa sang the Edith Piaf song 'Je ne regrette rien', assuming it was dedicated to her best friend Freja. But I knew who the tears in her eyes were for, as they had been that night a few weeks earlier in the karaoke bar.
"So are you two off on some grand honeymoon?" my mom asked Freja and Jeanie as they made the rounds and came to sit with us.
"Nothing grand," Jeanie answered, shaking her head and then wobbling and nearly falling over because she was drunk. "We're just gonna visit our little cottage in Muskoka for a few days. We might do something a little more special over Christmas break, like visit Europe, see her family and so on."
"Just a few days alone will be nice for you," mom said cheerfully. "A little quiet serenity is never a bad thing for a couple. Even newlyweds."
"And we can be as loud and nude as we like," Jeanie continued, offering too much information. "My family owns the land for almost a kilometer in each direction, and most of the shoreline our cottage sits on."
"Just watch out for mosquitoes and try not to get molested by bears," mom reminded them. "That means no honey on naked bodies while you're outside."
Jeanie nodded dutifully and pulled out a notepad out from between her boobs to write that nugget of wisdom down. They then hurried off to the next table. Music started up again and I found myself dancing with mom.
"So, you got a little from Heather, hm?" she asked, smirking as I blushed. "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure only half the attendees heard her."
"She was insistent," I said somewhat lamlely, like I was not allowed to say no to sex. "Pretty sure it was the main reason she agreed to attend. She said weddings make her horny."
"I'm not blaming you one bit, after all, your dad and I found some time to get freaky earlier," she said, to my surprise. "Pity you didn't know ahead of time you'd need to gag her."
"Yeah, that girl is full of surprises." I muttered.
"She's not entirely a bad fit for you, you know," mom said in a pensive tone. "I'm not trying to matchmake, I'm just saying there might be something there to explore."
"I've considered it," I admitted. "But something dad told me the other day sorta makes me discount the notion."
"And what's that?" she asked.
"Always make sure you marry your intellectual equal."
"Smart cookie, your father..." she said cheerfully.
***
Freja and Jeanie had clambered into a car and headed out for their mini-honeymoon, with everybody calling and waving after them. The Kjaer clan was heading out the following morning, so Alexa stayed with Freja's parents overnight, since we weren't certain when she'd see them again. I laid awake in bed, hoping she would Skype-call me or at least text me, but she didn't. I guess she was really involved in talking with them and I couldn't say as I blamed her.
We met them all for breakfast and saw them off at the terminal, waiting around until their various flights had departed. We all piled into dad's vehicle and headed home. It had certainly been an eventful two weeks.
Alexa and I returned to our duties at the university, taking every opportunity we could to make love. We had just finished a round of intense fucking and were laying side-by-side on a gym mat when I reached over and stroked her cheek.
"I'm sorry." I said gently.
"What for?" she asked.
"Because I fucked Heather at the wedding." I replied.
She smiled and turned in to face me, caressing my hair. "Alex, you had to. I know that. Not fucking her would have been awkward, to say the least, with everyone asking why you didn't do it. What purpose can that possibly serve?"
"I know," I sighed. "That doesn't mean that I didn't feel like I was cheating on you."
"Oh, you," she purred, leaning in to kiss me. "Really, Alex, it doesn't upset me. Not one bit. You need to believe that."
"I do, it's just my own demons I'm wrestling with." I admitted. "She's still interested in fucking. And she's upped the ante, she says she wants me to start cumming in her."
She was silent for a moment as she considered. "That's still okay, Alex. I'm assuming she's not psycho and trying to get pregnant."
"No, I don't think that's it," I agreed, shaking my head. "I just don't like the level of intimacy she's trying to take us to. Sounds stupid, I know, since any guy would love to nut in a girl with no condom or consequences. But it feels like cheating."
"I understand how you feel." Alexa said gently.
"But, there can't be anything between us." I stated.
"Why?"
"She's nowhere near my intellectual equal."
"God, I love you..." my aunt said as she pressed herself to me and kissed me hungrily.
***
"So, I was thinking that if you're going to continue with Heather as a cover, maybe we can use that for some fun." Alexa said as we talked over Skype. She was up in her room and I was down in the basement, but both my parents were home so it wasn't really a conversation we could have face-to-face.
"Oh? Go on."
"Well, it would involve some risk, certainly, because we'd have to tell her about us." Alexa explained. "But if she was cool with that, maybe we could share her. I saw her looking at me, I know she wants to try me on for size."
"Everyone wants you," I chuckled. "She's straight and she said she'd fuck you."
"Oh, the curses of being a daughter of Aphrodite," she said dramatically, putting her the back of her hand to her forehead. "Perhaps I'll-"
She paused in what she was saying and put her finger over her lips, indicating that I should be quiet. I listened and could hear footsteps in the hallway arouside her door.
Then there was a knock.
"You awake, Alli?" I heard mom asked from the hall.
"Sure am!" Alexa said, winking at me and then touching a button on her laptop to make the screen go black. I couldn't see anything, but I could still hear everything. I heard her pad over to her door and open it, letting mom into her room. "Hey, Kar, what's up?"
"Thought we could talk for a minute," mom said.
"Sure," my aunt said, easing herself onto the bed. "Anything you like!"
"I'm glad to hear that," my mom said quietly. "Because I'd like to know how long you've been in love with my son..."I was frozen in place, stunned. There was absolute silence for several seconds behind the screen. My mother was saying nothing. Alexa was saying nothing. A chilling sense of horror was coming over me. How had this happened?
"Alli?" I heard my mother query from behind the black screen of my laptop. Her voice wasn't harsh or accusing, it was rather... neutral. "Alli, we need to talk about this."
"I..." was all my aunt managed to say, her voice almost faint.
"You're surprised, I can tell," my mother continued. "I don't know what you're thinking, but we do need to have this conversation, Alexa. And maybe it'll be hard, but it's necessary nonetheless."
"I..."
"We'll take our time, if you like," mom said. "I only arrived at this conclusion recently, I admit. It's been a lot of observation over the weeks since you've arrived, and not always easy- glances you gave him here and there, the way you interacted with him, in spite of your preference for girls..."
What?
"And I'm concerned for you, and for Alex," she said. "Because he's warmed up to you, yes, but I'm worried about what he'd think and how he'd react if you ever learned about your feelings for him."
Shit!
"It really seems out of left field, to be honest, because you've been dating girls exclusively, but after a while, Michael and I were certain of it. I'm sure it was tough for you, fighting with your feelings, but that's why I want to talk, before things get really complicated and people get upset or hurt."
There was a long pause and then Alexa spoke. I had never heard her sound this way, and couldn't readily conceive of that tone in her voice. Her words terrified me.
"Yes... and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You're right, Alex can't know..."
Alexa, what are you doing?! What the Hell are you doing?!
"I know he can come across as a little awkward," mom said softly. "And I know he's accepted you and loves having you in this family. If this created a rift between you, I'd be heartbroken. So, I want to talk and figure out what to do about it, to ease this in a direction that won't end in disaster."
"Yes..." Alexa said distantly.
My feet were moving. My mind was whirling, but my feet carried me up the stairs from my room in the basement. I couldn't hear them anymore, but I didn't need to. I couldn't believe I was doing this, but it was almost involuntary. I was insane!
My mother and father thought Alexa had fallen in love with me and that I was blissfully ignorant of this fact! If I'd stopped to consider, I would have been completely shocked. How on earth had they not noticed my feelings for my aunt but noticed hers for me?
My mother wasn't enraged, she wasn't being forceful, she was doing her best to help her younger sister in what she perceived as a difficult situation. I was in the dining room now and kept walking forward woodenly, toward the stairs.
Why was I still walking? My mother was, possibly, offering a solution to the dilemma my aunt and I had found ourselves in. She was offering to help Alexa fight her feelings for me. Didn't that mean all I had to do was somehow wrestle my feelings- my love- for my aunt down and we could move on with our lives as was meant to be? Where we could all still be a family without burgeoning and terrifying secrets?
I walked up the stairs.
"It's tough, I know, Alexa. But I want you to be able to talk to me."
My aunt was trying to force herself to accept full responsibility for how we'd fallen in love. She was going to take the bullet and spare me, to make sure my parents didn't suspect me.
My heart was thundering as I walked down the hallway, toward the open door leading to the room they were sitting in. The ball of ice in my stomach was spreading through my body. My chest felt tight and there was a cold sweat on my brow and my palms. My feet were like lead.
Why was I still walking?
My shaking hand touched the door frame as I rounded the corner and walked stiffly into the bedroom. I was no doubt almost pale as a ghost, which is how Alexa looked when I saw her. Her heard snapped to look over at me, her eyes widening with horror at my presence.
"Alex..."
"Alex, would you excuse us, please?" mom asked, looking up at me. "Alli and I are having a rather private chat."
"I... I know..." I managed to say, my heart in my throat as I looked at my mother, who was sitting in a chair not far from the bed Alexa was sitting on the edge of. "I know what you're talking about mom... and I... I'm not letting her take this on alone."
"Alex, no..." my aunt pleaded.
I ignored the plea, steeling myself. "She's not the only one in love, mom. We've been in love with one another for weeks now... we're... we're lovers, and have been almost since her arrival."
My mother stared at me. Her expression was neutral, but I could see it in her eyes, a whirling sense of utter confusion. Slowly she turned her head to look at Alexa and then back at me. Alexa stared ahead blankly, as if withdrawing from reality.
Alea iacta est.
***
"Alex, please say what you said again?" mom requested in a quiet voice. "I'm... not sure I heard you correctly."
Good Lord, I didn't know it was possible for a person's heart to pound so forcefully. I felt like I was going to pass out. I took a deep breath and steeled myself.
"No, you heard correctly, mom. I'm in love with your younger sister, my aunt. I pretty much have been since the moment I laid eyes on her at the airport. And I'm pretty damn sure she's every bit as much in love with me."
Mom just stared at me. How ever composed her exterior might have been, I could see and feel the total bewilderment in her- this had come completely out of left field and she hardly knew what to think. This possibility had not crossed her mind. She really believed that I'd lived on in blissful ignorance of Alexa's feelings for me.
Had I done that good a job at seeming aloof?
Mom looked back at Alexa, but my aunt seemed to have withdrawn in on herself. She stared ahead blankly, her normally bright blue eyes dull and... defeated. What the Hell could I possibly do for her? I'd already let the cat out of the bag and everything seemed to be hanging by a thread.
I had absolutely no concept of what could possibly happen next.
Mom blinked slowly and stood. She went over to the bedroom window and opened it.
"Dear?" she called. "Would you come up here, please?"
Fuck. Mom didn't know what to do. She was calling for dad. The cold chill I'd felt earlier in my spine had nothing on the one crawling up it now. It bordered on terror. I was absolutely still.
For a man of nearly two-hundred and eighty pounds of solid muscle, dad moved up the stairs quickly and lightly. Somehow I was thankful for that, because if his footfalls had been booming, I might have fainted. Alexa said nothing, staring off at the wall. Mom moved back to her seat and waited quietly.
Dad turned the corner and came into the room, but stopped short upon seeing me. He glanced from me, to mom to Alexa, then back to mom. It hadn't been more than three seconds before I felt a change in his demeanour, the whole spectrum of the situation laid out for him.
"Oh, Hell..." he said quietly.
I didn't dare meet his gaze, I just let him walk by me and stand next to mom, who was still in the chair she'd sat in when she came to talk to Alexa. Dad sighed and nodded to himself.
"Okay," he said. "From the beginning. Who wants to start?"
Alexa was still seemingly catatonic. I was beginning to worry about her, I'd never seen her like this before. So instead of forcing her to say anything, I began talking. I really hoped I wouldn't start babbling. Getting the first few words out was so hard.
"I... I overheard mom and Alexa talking about her apparently being in love with me."
"How?"
My lips wrestled as I tried to form words, my throat suddenly very dry. "Alexa and I were Skype-talking before mom knocked. Alexa minimized the screen, but I think she forgot to turn off the feed, so even though I could see nothing, I heard everything."
"Okay," he said evenly. "Alex, why are you and your aunt in love?"
I shrugged somewhat helplessly. "Not like either of us planned it, y'know? We were just really attracted to one another."
"And none of this struck you as a complication?" mom asked, her tone indicating that complete honesty was the only accepted answer here- no nuanced replies, the straight truth.
"Yes," I said finally. "It occurred to us constantly."
"And yet..."
"Mom, I... I couldn't have stopped if I wanted to," I said, trying to keep the pleading out of my voice. What was I even pleading for? Her to understand the quandary? Acceptance of our relationship? "And I... I couldn't bring myself to want to. I don't think she could either."
"So the moment we met her in the terminal, you were love-struck," mom said, her voice factual, devoid of any emotion, be it sympathy or scorn. Just flat, scientific fact. "And apparently she felt the same way?"
I nodded slowly. It was really weird, talking on Alexa's behalf, but she seemed to still be retreated into her own mind. I didn't know what to do, except explain as best I could on behalf of us both. My heart was still pounding.
"But... so much has happened," mom said, exasperation on the edges of her voice. "The accident, the weddings, Allie dating girls... how did you manage to..."
I shrugged. I was as stunned as she was.
Mom almost sagged back in the chair. Dad remained unmoving, towering over us all. Mom had a finger resting on her lips, lost in thought. Her eyes flicked up to me and then over to Alexa. It was obvious she still didn't know what to make of all this. Not only my affair with her younger sister, but how blind they'd been to it.
"It never occurred to me," she murmured to no one in particular. "I suspected Alli, then was pretty certain. But not you, Alex. Not in the slightest."
My normal defence mechanism of making a wry statement did not kick in, thankfully. I couldn't imagine there being a less perfect time. Dad wasn't laughing. No amusement in his expression or hiding behind his eyes. This was serious. I'd do well to not get ahead of myself, concentrating on fighting down my sense of panic.
I didn't know whether to talk or stay quiet and let mom talk. If I said nothing and she felt like I was forcing her hand, there'd be trouble. But if I began babbling, which I was on the verge of doing at the moment... my stomach churned. This was a nightmare come to life.
Maybe it had been inevitable. Of course it had been. There was no way we wouldn't be found out if we kept this up. And yes, perhaps the revelation did not go down how anyone expected, but that didn't change the fact that the jig was up. My parents knew. All that remained was Armageddon.
Mom rubbed her eyes for a moment, clearly grasping for sense in all this madness she saw surrounding her. Her deep brown eyes, with their bewitching tawny flecks, looked straight up at me, seeming to look right through me or deep into my soul. I was rooted to the spot. I didn't dare look away and couldn't have in any event. I trembled at the effort of meeting her gaze.
"My own son," she said softly. "In love with my sister. And she's in love with him. I... don't even know where to begin asking questions."
I crossed my arms across my chest and scratched at one of my biceps reflexively. I wanted to run. I wanted to explode. I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me.
But more than anything, I wanted to look at Alexa. And I didn't dare.
Why? Because they'd see the emotion in me? Emotion I had just readily, desperately admitted to? Why on earth was I still trying to conceal it? Habit? Fear?
I couldn't help it. My eyes flicked over to look at Alexa for a fraction of a moment, as if to make sure she was really still there. If my mom or dad saw me look, they didn't register it. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not, if anything in this entire situation could be considered good. It felt like there were only varying levels of terrible.
"What I don't understand," mom said quietly, not looking at either of us. "Is why you allowed it to continue. You had to know that this could never become a thing."
I nodded. "We know mom. And I think we really tried. Especially after the accident. It was in the hospital that we admitted we were in love, but knew we could never be together. We sort of resolved to try and date other people, then."
Mom nodded. "You with Heather, her with Jeanie."
"Yeah," I said heavily. "But we both knew those'd never work, as long as we were in love with one another. After a while, dating other people just became a cover."
Dad said nothing, he just kept watching, keeping his own council. I didn't find that at all encouraging. Mom was the frontman on this gig. I waited for the next question.
"So you two are lovers."
I nodded.
"And have been since before the accident."
I nodded again, but I felt like I was going to be sick. Being desperately in love shouldn't make a person feel nauseous. "By her second day here, we were kissing and naked together in the jacuzzi that night. But yeah, we've been lovers since before your car accident."
"That was weeks ago," mom breathed in a voice little more than a whisper. "How... often?"
I just shook my head. "More times than I could possibly count, mom, no lie. If you two weren't around, chances are, we were... y'know."
Mom looked up at the ceiling, clearly still not able to totally shake her disbelief. She said nothing for some time, before finally lowering her head and looking at me.
"What was your hope here, Alex?" she asked.
Of course, I had no worthwhile answer. How could I? In response, I shook my head slowly, admitting I truly had no idea.
"That's about the only honest answer there is," mom said heavily. "You knew this was a no-win scenario and still soldiered on. Normally that's admirable, but... Alex, if this got out..."
She pinched her eyes again. "I refuse to believe that nobody knows. Alex, who knows?"
I swallowed. "Freja, of course. And Jeanie."
"Oh, Jesus..." mom almost groaned, putting her hand over her face. She may have adored Jeanie, but clearly had no faith in her ability to remember to keep her mouth shut.
"Freja's family, she told them some time back. Freja's known since before she arrived. Jeanie's known for quite a while too."
"Anyone else?" mom asked pointedly.
I actually had to think about that, because fear was close to shutting down all my cognitive functions. I was normally proud of my ability to perform under stress and pressure, but this was taking and draining every last drop of strength and fibre of courage in my body.
"I... can't think of anyone else, mom." I said finally. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it."
"Could be a lot worse," she muttered. "If this got out on the campus- Alex, have you and Alexa made love when you were on campus?"
I nodded. There was no point in lying.
"Often?"
"Pretty often." I admitted. "The day Jeanie and Freja met, we ended up in a foursome in the gym."
I couldn't readily identify the feeling that was starting to crawl over me. I was uncomfortable. Warm and cold at the same time. My foot was trembling. The whisper of nausea was now replaced with a cold wave of it.
I was going to be sick.
"'scuse me!" I said quickly before turning and dashing down the hall to the bathroom. I managed to close the door behind me before collapsing over the bowl and retching, the roaring of the ocean in my ears while my stomach roiled with a sickening fire. They no doubt could hear what was happening to me. I was thankful they left me to it.
Probably only a minute or two had passed, although it felt like hours. I pushed myself up unsteadily, sucking in lungfulls of air. Standing in front of the sink, I was shocked by how pale I was. I got water and rinsed my mouth before exiting the bathroom and heading back to join my parents and Alexa, my hand trailing along the wall to help me keep my balance. As I walked in, my mom looked at me with concern.
"Feeling better?"
"No," I said wearily. "But I don't feel like I'm gonna hurl right this moment."
"I'm sorry this is difficult," she said quietly, her voiced tinged with regret and even sadness. "And I don't see it getting less difficult any time soon, but this needs to happen. It must be dealt with."
She now looked at her sister. "Alli, I'm so sorry. You're my sister and I love you more than life itself. I need you to talk with me, with us, because this family is paralyzed and we need to work this all out. Please, speak to me."
There was nothing for several seconds. But then Alexa spoke, still staring at the far wall, her blue eyes distant, unseeing.
"Would you... please give me a little time to myself?" she asked in an impossibly small voice. "I need... I..."
Mom flicked a quick glance up at dad, who nodded subtly. Mom then looked at her sister and nodded. "Okay, Alli. Take your time. You just came into my life, I don't want this crisis to mar things so completely that we can't work it out. Take the time you need, until you're ready to talk. We'll be around."
Mom stood up and walked over to her younger sister, leaning down and giving her a gentle kiss on top of the head. She then looked at me and made a shooing motion with her hand, indicating that I would be the first one out the door and I wouldn't be looking back. Mom followed me out and dad came last, closing Alexa's door. I cast a sidelong glance before it closed completely. I could see Alexa had turned her head and was looking at me.
There were crystalline tears in her beautiful blue eyes.
***
I walked down the stairs, feeling rather numb. Mom was behind me and dad brought up the rear. I may have wanted to hide in my den in the basement, or to have the earth open wide and swallow me, but instead I instinctively headed to the living room and sat in the chair, while mom and dad sat together on the chesterfield. Nobody said anything for a few minutes.
Finally, mom sighed. "I thought this whole thing was going to be awkward when only Alli was involved."
Dad nodded in agreement. "What blows me away is that we didn't suspect you one bit, Alex. One would think that you'd be the one we'd easily pick up on, since we've raised you. But... you played it so straight, just treating your aunt civilly or a little awkwardly when you were around us, that I freely admit your romantic involvement never crossed my mind."
I smiled weakly and shrugged. I didn't really have that much to say.
"No argument there," mom added. "I thought Alli's feelings, if they happened to become known to you, would screw everything up. I was intent on helping her work through her feelings about you, so that we could all just live on in peace and harmony. Now, I..."
She was silent for a few moments before she sighed quietly. "I don't know."
There was another few minutes of silence. Mom and dad seemed content to not talk right then. God knows, I didn't know what to say. Dad finally allowed me to escape.
"Alex, I don't know if your mom and I are ready to have a talk with you right this second, we just want to regain our equilibrium. We're stunned, Alex, even shocked. But not mad at you. I think your mom and I just need to talk for a bit, so why don't you head downstairs?"
"Okay." I replied, getting up.
"But promise me," he added, looking at me. "Do not initiate a conversation with your aunt right now. If she contacts you, that's different. But give Allie her space, no matter how difficult that may seem. Promise me?"
I nodded. "I promise."
I left the living room and headed downstairs. It sounds strange, but I was acutely aware of the weight of my phone in my pocket. I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling. My heartbeat had finally returned to normal, now I just felt numb, kind of heavy. My mind was whirling still. I looked over at my laptop, the screen still open, the way I'd left it.
I listened intently, wondering if her mic was still on, our Skype chat still open.
There it was. Very faint, almost inaudible. It crushed me to my core.
The sound of Alexa crying.
She must have been crying into her pillow, because it sounded muffled and very faint. My fists clenched at my side as I remembered my promise to my father, to leave her alone, to let her have her space. Her sobs made it hard to think. My heart was pounding again and my eyes stung. I squeezed them shut.
I fished my phone out of my pocket and put it aside.
Please, Alexa, stop crying!
I wanted to close my laptop, to make the sobbing go away, but I couldn't bring myself to. Alexa was hurting, and f I couldn't be there for her, the least I could do was share her agony.
I turned over onto my stomach and put my pillow over my head, trying to hear nothing, in spite of my resolve to share her tears.
It hurt so bad.
***
I don't think I fell asleep, because I wouldn't call what I did sleep. But I was elsewhere, not exactly conscious. My thoughts or dreams, whatever you want to call them, were troubled. Images and scenes drifted through my mind, images of my beloved aunt and myself, our time together. Unbidden images of her being taken from me made me bolt upright in a cold sweat, breathing hard.
I looked at my phone. It was nearly nine pm. I'd been lost in my mind for nearly four hours. How had that happened?
There were no messages. From anybody.
I sat up and moved over to my laptop. The Skype chat had been closed at some point. I squeezed my eyes shut in frustration. I knew my parents weren't keeping me from her to punish me, I understood that she really needed time to herself.
I sagged on my bed, staring dully at nothing. This was it. Everything had blown wide open and now we had to deal with the mess. I put my face in my hands, trying to collect my thoughts. The inevitable point hard arrived, where Alexa and I would need to stop being together. How would that happen? Mom clearly still wanted her sister in our lives, meaning Alexa and I were required to get over our feelings for one another.
How?
I could see it. What could have happened- I could have not gone upstairs, I could have let my mom and Alexa have that talk and working things out. It would have been cowardly, but it would have, conceivably, solved all the problems we had. Alexa and mom could have helped her through her feelings and I would have just had to deal with mine. My mom talking about possibly dating Heather took on a whole new meaning for me. Had she been gently nudging me in that direction because she knew she was going to be speaking with Alexa?
How had I blindsided my parents so completely? I'd always been terrified that I was the one who was going to give us away. I felt so obvious in my feelings for Alexa. Apparently not. And I didn't know whether to be relieved or furious about that.
My parents weren't the unobservant type, I must have done a spectacular job, not that I was proud of this at the moment. Incidents around my parents whirled through my mind- Alexa wiggling her breasts at me in the hot tub, ostensibly teasing me and how I was acting embarrassed. How amused my parents were by my reaction. Or how I'd steadfastly refuse to look at Alexa when she walked around in a state of relative undress, like a long shirt and panties.
I'd really duped them. But Alexa hadn't. I shivered at the thought of how much she must love me if she couldn't keep it out of her eyes when she looked at me.
I felt so unworthy.
So, this is how it ended. My eyes stung, and I blinked the feeling away. What would happen now? How on earth were we supposed to make this work? Could Alexa really surrender her feelings for me? I had no idea if I could about her, and I wasn't sure I wanted to.
I looked at my laptop. I had endless gigs of pictures and videos of Alexa and I on there. Just being together, or making love. What would I do with them? Would I delete them? Keep them and never look at them? I couldn't imagine getting over Alexa if I kept watching them. Hell, just being around her would make that seem impossible.
What did my parents think of all this? Aside from shocked. Were they disappointed in me? Annoyed with me for not knowing better than to let this get out of control? They'd said they were sure it was going to be difficult for them when they thought it was just Alexa. Now I was involved on levels they hadn't considered. Maybe I didn't blame them for how speechless they felt, unnerving as it seemed. They hadn't created this situation, had they?
It's over. Whatever this was, it was going to end now. I felt sick.
My phone buzzed and I swept it up in the blink of an eye, checking the message. My heart sank when it was my dad.
"She hasn't let her room yet. We've decided to speak with the two of you together, we didn't want you to feel like we were ambushing you. Your mom is stressed and tired, so we'll see you in the morning. I know this is difficult, Alex, but it will get worked out. It may be hard, even painful, but don't think you're alone."
That was a long text message from my dad, meaning that even he didn't really know what to think. I couldn't blame my mom for being stressed now, could I? This whole situation had just become exponentially harder for her.
For all of us.
Fatigue overtook me. Alexa wasn't contacting me. My parents were giving me my space. In spite of the swoon I'd been in, I felt the need to sleep. And yet I knew I couldn't, not immediately, my mind was still wrapped around Alexa.
My aunt that I was in love with.
My wife.
I couldn't help it. I stood up and got my laptop, bringing it to the bed with me. I leaned back against the walls and my pillows, set the laptop on my knees and opened up the folder I needed more than anything right now...
***
"Are you sure no one can see us back here?" she whispered huskily me as we scampered through the back yard under the cover of night. I was holding her hand and leading her over the lawn, toward the back of the property. The sky was clear, and stars were visible, even though we lived within the bounds of a major metropolis.
"We'll know soon enough, won't we?" I replied, grinning. "But yeah, reasonably certain. I did it with a girl back here a few years ago, and my parents were in the house. They didn't notice back then. We just can't scream our heads off."
"God, this is so wrong," Alexa giggled, smiling at me while I recorded her on my cell. "I feel like we're violating their house."
"We've violated most of the house already, except their bedroom," I pointed out as we rounded some bushes and were officially out-of-sight of the house. We hunkered low, both of us breathing in excitement and anticipation. "Might as well complete the desecration, right?"
She knelt beside me and looked at me, her eyes bright with a giddy excitement. Her breasts were heaving beneath her tight shirt. My eyes were almost magnetically fixated on them. Her hands were in her lap, just on top of the gym shorts she wore.
"God, being in love with you feels so dangerous," she breathed, her smile warming me. "Can you believe we got married yesterday?"
My phone centered on the little plastic ring on her fourth finger, matching the one I wore and that we'd wed one another with in that enchanting glade we'd found. Silly little Ring-Pops, given to us by my mother, of all people, and now a dorky but eternal symbol of our love for one another.
The backs of our hands met as we pressed the two little bands of yellow plastic together. Alexa smiled at me lovingly, her eyes shining. "I take it back, I can't believe I lived life without being married to you."
I was still holding the phone, but moved it aside as Alexa nestled in to kiss me. Our lips met, and she moaned gently as we expressed our deep love for one another. In the dark, only the moonlight reaching down to us provided illumination, which was why I had chosen this spot for us. I knew two spots we could put our phones to record what was about to happen, allowing us to make love freely. I could hardly wait.
Alexa smiled wickedly as she kissed her way down my neck, slowly pulling my shirt over my head, exposing my torso. Her eyes stayed on mine as she lightly kissed and nipped at my skin, heading further down until she reached my shorts. I moved around, allowing, my wife to deftly peel them down and then off, exposing my already swelling cock to her. She smiled at it with adoration and perhaps hunger, taking it in her hand before looking up at me again.
"Talk about Christmas in July..." she purred before beginning to kiss it gently and slide her tongue around it, rapidly bringing me to a state of full arousal. Her mouth was absolute magic. I knew about her past, knew she'd been with a lot of lovers over the course of her life, and a lot of repressed or twisted people would think that made her a slut or a whore, but I didn't care. If I, as a guy, got fucked as often as she had, everyone would congratulate me and think I was 'The Man'. I wouldn't be getting called horrible names by shitty, repressed people. I was benefitting now from all that experience, so who was I to complain?
She took me inside her mouth and moaned in delight, beginning to bob back and forth. Her eyes closed in rapture while she swirled her tongue around me and my fingers kneaded her scalp and her hair. I'd chosen this spot because the moon's silvery rays beamed down on us and caught her beautiful face at just the right angle while she sucked on my cock. Her hair shone like spun gold and her sapphire eyes seemed deeper than the universe to me. The camera on my phone could never do her justice. I don't think any camera invented ever really could.
I closed my eyes and savoured the sensation of her warm, wet lips sliding up and down my length, a pleasure I would never tire of. I kept filming, even as I was lost in bliss, my cock touching her throat and she moaned around me. Her hand held the base of my manhood or gently fondled my sac, her fingers stroking just underneath it and sending shudders of delight through me. I could never describe how much I loved her or how addicted to her I was, the sheet joy she made me feel by her mere presence, let alone our lovemaking as man and wife.
But I didn't want to peak too soon, so I gently pulled out of her mouth, Alexa giggling and protesting the action. She smirked up at me while I held my cock, gently tapping it against her face, teasing her. With my hand, I gently made her lie down on her back and then lay alongside her. She crawled on top of me and squashed her body to mine while we kissed deeply and lovingly, murmuring our feelings for one another.
Alexa slowly turned around and laid down my body, her face over my throbbing cock. She spread her legs for me, allowing me access to her beautiful and already gooey pussy. She shivered and moaned quietly as I took hold of her inner thighs and began planting kisses on her netherlips, her sweet taste making my heart soar. I felt her hand wrapped around my shaft and then her mouth sink back down onto me, sending ripples of pleasure through my core.
I licked her pussy and nibbled her clit, sliding a finger or two gently in and out of her while she sucked on me. Both of us squirmed and writhed at the other's touch, a now-familiar but welcome dance between us, one we would never grow weary of. She giggled around my cock and her body trembled as I teased her little pink knot.
"Mmmm, Alex," she cooed, taking her mouth off my cock to speak, but massaging my length with her hand. "You know just what I love. It's like you were born to pleasure me..."
She plunged her mouth back down on me with a will, picking up the pace as we both grew in our desire to fuck. I'd set the phone down in one spot, catching all the action, while Alexa had set hers in another. In the days that followed this tryst behind the bushes, we would take the two recordings and I would use my editing skills to blend them into one slick little movie. But nothing like that was on my mind at the moment.
"Alex," she breathed, her face flushed pink and her eyes glassy with desire as she looked back at me. Her hand kept working my ramrod-erect cock. "I need you in me... please..."
I nodded and watched as she lifted herself up and wiggled her way down my body, pressing her pussylips along my form. She finally straddled my hips, still facing down my legs and sighed as loudly as she dared while she sank down onto my cock, taking me in. She stayed still for several seconds, her hands resting on my thighs, while she just savoured the feeling of having me deep inside her. My hands settled on her perfect ass cheeks and I closed my eyes and sighed in pleasure.
She began to rock back and forth slowly, and I opened my eyes and watched, enthralled, as the moonlight shone down on us, showing my cock shaft glistening as it moved in and out of her wet, tight confines. I love reverse cowboy, because the angle of penetration feels so amazing to me when the girl is leaning slightly forward. My hand found my phone and I moved it in for a close-up of pussy swallowing my cock hungrily. Alexa had found her phone as well, recording herself undulating on top of me.
Her back-and-forth rocking motion was soon replaced with an up and down rhythm, my cock almost leaving her pussy and then sinking deep back inside. My hands massaged her ass cheeks and teased her knot while she rode me, our pace casual and languorous. Now that we were joined together, as we both so loved and needed, we felt no hurry to cum, simply to be together like this.
"You feel so perfect in me," she breathed, flexing her hips and ass expertly with each upward motion, gripping me tightly. "Oh, God, Alex, it's so perfect."
"You really... feel perfect for me too," I replied, still massaging those glorious cheeks. "I love how tight an wet you are."
"Mmmm, husband..." Alexa purred, now lying back on top of me, facing up. My cock was still inside her while she squirmed and undulated, rocking her lips and gripping me with her pussy. She somehow managed to steady her hand enough to reach down and get a close-up of my cock sliding in and out of her. We could hear the wet, slick sounds of our fucking and we both shivered in delight before she pressed her lips to mine and kissed me ardently. I'd set my phone aside and now my hands wandered up and began groping her glorious breasts, making her shudder and moan loudly into my mouth. Our tongues tangled as we fucked, the pace increasing.
Even now, I couldn't believe I was calling this goddess my wife. Forgot for a moment she was my aunt, my mother's sister, I still had no clue how I had gotten so lucky, that such a perfect girl could fall in love with me. What on Earth had I ever done? My angel, my Galadriel, my... everything.
She moaned loudly into my mouth as I squeezed her breasts, pinching her nipples, and tugging on them, just how I knew she loved it. Her pussy juices were trickling down my inner thighs already. She was so wet and aroused, it was almost beyond belief. Our tongues plunged and wrestled between our mouths. She panted as I bit her lower lip and tugged, whimpering when I twisted her nipples slightly. Her arms came up to wrap around my head and neck while her body squirmed and writhed heatedly on me now. A sheen of sweat was covering us both, proof of our lustful exertions on one another.
My hips began pumping steadily, moving in a complimentary rhythm with hers, bringing my cock almost all the way out before sliding it in again with long, slow strokes. She moaned with each thrust and pressed down to match me, driving me dep inside her pussy. Without saying anything, we knew we both needed to cum now and we were fucking our way toward that end. My hands groped and molested her while her fingers kneaded and knotted in my hair.
Both of us were panting and beginning to shake, the warm tingle beginning to bubble inside me. I could feel her pussy fluttering around my cock and her body was stretching itself on me, even as she pushed down harder than ever. She whimpered in my mouth again and that enchanting sound was followed by a shameless moan that would have been heard for blocks if I hadn't been kissing her. I pushed my hips up, straining against her, desperate to draw this moment out...
And then the dams broke, and we shuddered and writhed uncontrollably, with my cum pumping deep inside her. Her pussy slathered me in her essence, bathing my hips and thighs. My hands squeezed her breasts so hard I thought they might pop, but Alex simply groaned in ecstasy at my strength. Her fingernails almost straked my skin as she came.
A full minute must have passed before we finally settled, steam coming off our heated forms, in spite of the night's sultry warmth. Our chests heaved as she kissed deeply, tiredly, and in complete satisfaction. We always made one another cum hard, and we basked in the afterglow of our lovemaking, my hands now caressing her divine form gently.
Her tongue left my mouth and she sighed against my lips, her fingers under my chin.
"Thank you," she whispered. "I love you so much, Alex."
"And I am so in love with you," I whispered back, meaning it with every fiber of my being. "To be married to you, and to make love to you as my wife, it's... perfect..."
She sighed in contentment and agreement with my words, laying still while we felt my cock still pulsing in her pussy and our hearts beating in time. We were so in love, and this was as perfect an eternal moment as one could ever ask for. We savoured every microsecond of it, wishing it would never end.
Alexa finally say up, still impaled on me and stretched, letting out a blissful sigh. Almost reluctantly, she pulled herself off of me and then knelt between my legs, kissing and cleaning my shining, sticky cock lovingly and thoroughly while I recorded it. I shivered as she squeezed her thumb along the underside of my shaft, milking the last drops of cum from me, as if she needed it to live.
I sat up after she was finished tending to me and she melted into my arms, hugging one another tight. Her face was buried in my shoulder and I stroked her magnificent golden hair while she whispered against my skin. I have no idea how much time passed, knowing only that this was yet another moment that was free to never end.
She finally looked up and her sapphire eyes were warm with love. She caressed my face gently, her body snuggled to mine.
"I love you, Alex," she said in a soft and undeniably honest voice. "And I always will. I am yours."
I smiled. "Car, vois-tu, chaque jour je t'aime davantage, aujourd'hui plus qu'hier et bien moins que demain."
She bit her lip and a tear trickled down her cheek. She wiped her eye and smiled at me. "Charmer. You know what French does to me."
She pressed her forehead against mine, her voice the softest caress against my lips, like petals on a gentle breeze. "Best get me back inside, before I succumb to the urge to let you put a baby in me."
I chuckled and kissed her nose. "I would love that, I really would. You, as the mother of my children? I can't begin to imagine being happier."
We both reluctantly got to our feet and dressed one another, whispering words of love the whole time. Hand-in-hand, we walked slowly across the yard and back to the house, not fearing that anyone would see us.
And I was pretty sure at that moment, I wouldn't have cared if they did.
***
I closed my laptop and sighed, rubbing the sting from my eyes. I felt cold and lonely. Worse, I felt like I had abandoned the woman I loved, the woman I called my wife. When she needed me most, I had promised to not be there. And yet she was the one who had requested time to herself. And I really didn't know what to do about any of this.What was there to be done? We'd been found out. It was inevitable, and we'd continued our love affair anyway, knowing that it would never work. What fools we'd been. And yet I cannot imagine how anything could have played out differently, because meeting Alexa was what sealed my fate. I could see no scenarios in which I would not fall in love with her. It was simply impossible.
I knew she felt the same way about me. What torture had she been putting herself through when she was agreeing with my mother that she had to bury or release her feelings for me? What manner of strength would that take? Even now, it was shocking to me, in spite of all our despairing talk about how we knew we'd eventually need to give one another up.
And we made love, and we'd fallen in love, and then we'd married one another. And it could never be.
I squeezed my eyes shut and my body shook as I resisted the urge to throw my laptop at the far wall in frustration.
It was too much. I turned onto my stomach and buried my face in a pillow as tears almost burst from my eyes. I never would have seen it coming, but I cried. Helpless and feeling broken, there was nothing left to do but that.
Alexa...
***
I wiped at my eyes as I felt my phone buzz. Shaking my head to clear it, I picked up the device and squinted, noticing it was already nearly 9 am. I saw I had a message from dad and I opened it.
"Time to come up, Alex. Today is going to be a long day for everyone."
I knew he was right and I sighed heavily. Pushing myself out of bed, I showered quickly to rinse myself off and then fumbled through putting on some clothes that I really didn't feel like wearing. I checked myself in the mirror, to make sure I looked human and presentable before taking a deep breath and heading upstairs.
Mom and dad were sitting in the living room quietly, both dressed casually. Mom looked up and I could see the concern in her eyes, even if her face was passive. "Would you like some coffee, baby?" she asked. I pursed my lips as I considered and then shook my head. Dad gestured for me to sit in the chair nearby, so I plopped down into it and allowed my gaze to meet theirs.
"Did you sleep alright?" dad asked. I just shrugged and he nodded. "Understandable. To my amazement, your mother and I both slept like rocks. She was really stressed by the time we went to bed."
"I don't blame her one bit," I allowed. "This whole thing is... I dunno. Sorry."
"Alli's still not down," mom said, stating the obvious. "Poor thing must be exhausted. I've never seen her like that before."
She looked at me, curious, but not unkind. "Alex, have you ever seen her like that?"
I shook my head slowly. "No, mom. Not even in the hospital. I didn't even think it was possible for her to be that way. I..."
I faltered in what I was about to say, and dad nodded. "It's okay, Alex. Say what you were going to. We're still waiting for your aunt before we begin really talking, we promised you we would. We're just concerned that she hasn't left her room yet."
I sighed heavily. "I've seen her sad. I've seen her feel despair. About us. She even cried. But... I haven't seen her retreat away like that before, as if... as if her whole world had suddenly disappeared."
Mom looked at her coffee cup, her eyes somewhat cloudy. "She's told me about her life and I think Allie has led a somewhat charmed existence up until now. I'm not saying she's spoiled or anything, but even my mother's death was not a jarring event for her, she had time to prepare herself. She'd probably admit that just about everything has gone her way in life, until now."
I tilted my head. "You... you think she's never dealt with a crisis like this before?"
"I don't know, but it's possible," mom answered. "My poor sister. This has to be so hard on her."
Mom looked at dad. "She hasn't responded to your texts?" Dad shook his head and mom sighed again. "I... Mike, you'd better go and get her, please. I know we said we'd give her time, but that was well over fifteen hours ago."
Fuck, it had been fifteen hours?
Dad nodded and got up, leaving the living room and heading upstairs. After a couple of moments of silence, mom looked at me.
"We'll wait until she's here to really talk, Alex, but I just want you to know how much your father and I love you. We love Alli too, but you're our son. We'll always love you."
"I know, mom," I said quietly. "Thanks. I love you guys too."
"We'll get through this," she said, leaning forward and smiling gently. "You'll get through this. You're a De Bourne, a Blackwell and a Gordon, you couldn't ask for a much stronger lineage, you know."
I nodded. "When I heard you two talking, and how she was going to take it all on herself, I couldn't stop myself from coming upstairs. I was terrified, but I knew I couldn't let her take it on alone."
Mom's eyes were a little glassy as she smiled at me. "Staying downstairs might have been the smart thing to do, Alex, but I'm glad you didn't. Not only because your father and I now know, but because it took strength to come up those steps and confess to what you did. Great strength and courage. Another boy your age might have just hidden his head under the pillow and let the girl take on the burden."
"I couldn't let that happen," I said distantly, my eyes on the floor. "I... this was inevitable, I know that. I always did. But I couldn't let her stand alone, at the end of it all."
"It's not an end, Alex," she said softly, her eyes misty now. "Yes, some aspects of it will seem that way to you, possibly for quite some time. But our family will survive this and grow stronger, united and loving one another."
"I wonder if Alexa can ever forgive me for all of this?" I murmured.
"You might find out sooner than you think," dad said in a grim tone as he stood in the entryway to the living room, holding up a small envelope. "Alli's not in her room and I found this. I think she's gone..."
"To my dearest family...
I am so sorry I will no longer be with you. I have caused perhaps irreparable harm and cannot continue to do so. Know that I am fine and in no danger. I love you all so much and would never want you to worry about my well-being that way, since I've caused enough turmoil already.
Michael- you're a tower of strength and you inspire me. You always will. Anyone should be proud to become one tenth of the person you are, with your convictions and resolve. I will miss you so much.
Karen- my only sister, an eternity of words cannot possibly suffice in apologizing for the hurt I have caused you. It breaks my heart to need to leave, so soon after getting you back in my life. Circumstances robbed us of our lives together as sisters, and now my choices have done that again. Please know and remember that I love you, even if I cannot be here.
Alex- I shouldn't even bother trying to say anything, should I? I don't know if it's possible to stop loving you. I don't know I would try if I could. All I can hope is that you find a way to move on and live your life, becoming the person we both know you can be. I won't say don't worry about me or just forget me, we're both far beyond that point, aren't we? I'll always love you.
I'll always love you all.
Alexa."
I slowly lowered the letter, letting the words sink in. Reading it aloud with my parents sitting on the couch nearby had been tougher than I could have imagined. I felt... heavy. My body was heavier than stone, my mind numb. When dad brought down the letter, saying that Alexa was nowhere to be found, a sense of dread had washed over me. He'd given the letter to me, clearly deeming that I should be the one to read it, even if it was addressed to all of us. I guess I should be thankful that he understood what Alexa and I meant to one another.
I looked up from the letter and over at them. Dad was sitting beside my mother, his arm around her, while she had her elbows on her knees and her hands over her mouth, tears streaming down her face. My heart broke again, she looked like her whole world had ended.
"She's gone," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I just got her back, and now she's gone..."
I hung my head and squeezed my eyes shut, wrestling with my emotions. The sound of my mother trying to not break down completely was all I could hear aside from my own thumping heartbeat. I'd thought getting caught would be the worst thing to happen, but I was wrong. Even my dad seemed at a loss for what to do. That terrified me.
"I need her back," mom said turning to look at dad, her eyes glassy and her cheeks red. "My God, we have to do something."
"I don't know what yet," dad said, his hand over hers now, but he kept looking at the floor, perhaps unable at that moment to cope with the anguish that was so evident in his wife's eyes. Dad tended to look at the floor while he was thinking, or he'd pace back and forth when he was really agitated. Mom used to say he'd wear a groove in the living room floor when something was bothering him. He wasn't pacing, but only because he truly didn't know what to do. "She said not to worry about her, Karen. I think she's hoping we'll trust to that."
I said nothing, merely looking at the letter again. The fine paper seemed marred in places and I realized they were the marks of tears. Alexa had been crying at she wrote the letter. I pressed the paper to my face as I lost myself in dark reverie, trying to imagine what she'd been feeling as she wrote this. I wouldn't have had the strength. My God, she was strong.
Mom was leaning against dad, sobbing now. The depth of Alexa's and my folly was becoming increasingly clear to me with each passing moment. My head spun as the magnitude of what we'd done was out for me to examine. We'd compromised and hurt my family in ways I'd never conceived of.
I don't know if Alexa had always thought it may come to this moment, or it had just been an instinctual reaction on her part. We'd talked, of course, about what would happen when we were found out, but I don't think either of us had seen it playing out quite like this.
"I guess we'd better still have that talk, Alex..." dad said heavily.
***
It sounds silly, but it was hard to know where to begin. Obviously, I told them about our instant initial attraction to one another and how quickly we became comfortable in one another's presence. We'd been kissing while at the university by her second day here, and naked together in the jacuzzi by that night while they were away at the Stevenson's place. They both listened silently, but I could tell they were bewildered, even stunned by my revelations.
I continued, telling them about how we became sexual by the third day, or very close to it, rubbing on one another and even climaxing together, even if we didn't have full-on sex. We knew we were going to, and neither of us were the least bit interested in curbing the urge, even if we knew how taboo it was. Part of me was so shocked I was willingly telling my parents all this, after so many weeks of keeping it a secret. Mom's hands were over her mouth as she listened.
"I don't believe this," she said finally. "You knew better, and you still went with it. You both knew better. Alex, how could- what were you thinking?"
"I don't know," I said in exasperation, my voice perhaps somewhat terse. "I'm pretty sure it wasn't me who drove her to-"
"Alex!" my father snapped, his eyes flashing as he looked at me. "I know you're upset, but that is no excuse to talk to your mother that way! She did not cause this problem!"
No matter how angry I might have felt, my father's voice shocked me out of it and all defiance drained from me in a cold chill. I sagged in on myself. No matter how much I miss or loved Alexa, I couldn't defy my father.
"I'm sorry," I said sheepishly. "Mom, I'm sorry I did that. I was angry, but that's no excuse for disrespecting you. And you're right, none of this is your fault."
Mom wiped at her eye and shook her head. "Don't worry about it, Alex. I have to take your word for it than you didn't really intend for any of this to happen. Just... I guess go on. Your father and I need to know everything. So that we have a chance of understanding."
I swallowed. "Everything."
Dad nodded. "That would be everything, Alex. The situation is serious enough that it warrants holding nothing back."
I sighed. "Y'remember that day when we went for breakfast out at the barn and then went to the provincial park? Well, we... we found an absolutely enchanting place there and we decided that would be the first place we'd make love."
"How?" mom asked. "Your father and I were right there."
"Well, we did split up for a bit, and Alexa told me she suspected of a place that you and she had walked by on the trek in. We got ahead of you guys and checked it out. It was incredible. We resolved to come back there the next day to... y'know."
Mom rubbed her face. "We thought you were begrudgingly running errands with her. You always came back with the things she said she needed."
I nodded somewhat guiltily. "Seemed like a good idea if we didn't want to get caught."
"No arguing that point," dad agreed. "At that time, we still had no suspicion of what was happening."
I nodded again. "We... we went the following day, had a picnic, but we also had sex. I took lots of pictures of her, and read a French book to her, and-"
"You were reading French lit to your aunt?" mom asked, looking at me. "In a glade? While having a picnic and sex with her?"
I shrugged. "Sounds a little strange when you say it that way. But... we were really into one another, mom. I was terrified, not just of getting caught, but how quickly my feelings for Alexa overwhelmed me. I've never known anyone like her."
"That's because there is no one like her, Alex," mom said softly. "But she is still your aunt. Go on."
I shut my eyes and collected my thoughts. "I... there was no stopping after that. We made love whenever we could, and it was so intimate. The hookah party that night, we were both terrified about the shotgun thing, but..."
"But Alexa had a workaround in case something awkward happened," mom mused. "Clever girl."
"Yeah," I agreed somewhat wearily. "But even though we didn't admit it to one another, we were falling in love. Then there was the accident."
"Oh, God," my mother said reflexively, covering her mouth and her eyes tearing over. "I'm sorry. Please go on, Alex."
"Mom, I... when dad called and told me to come to the hospital, I was in a state of sickening terror the whole drive over. I'm not kidding, I was worried I might lose concentration and spin off the road or cause an accident. I didn't know what I'd do if she'd..."
I choked back something and then took a deep breath. "It was the first time I admitted to myself that without doubt, I was in love with her. And then when I saw her charts, that she was going to be okay, I was so relieved."
"Then the whole amnesia prank," dad mused, cutting in, but his expression was neutral. "We still suspected absolutely nothing. I think your mother and I were so focused on the two of them reconnecting that we might've been blind to anything else. That or you just were doing such a good job of snowing us that we couldn't have noticed."
I shifted uncomfortably. Dad may generally sound more reasonable and conciliatory than mom most times, but this wasn't one of them. His tone was making it abundantly clear that he was not in my corner about this. Not that I could blame him. I forged ahead.
"I know I tried to sound put out, but that was a cover, of course. We made love in her hospital room, and-"
"Alex," mom gasped, her eyes wide. "She might have had a concussion! We weren't sure yet!"
I struggled to keep talking, not to shrink in on myself. "I know, mom. But I can say with complete honesty that I didn't initiate those times in her hospital room."
"Times?"
I squeezed my eyes shut as I forced myself to keep talking. "At least twice. I showered with her at one point, it was pretty intense. But that was also when we admitted to one another that we were in love. And also, the beginning of our first real conversations about how the two of us could never truly be together. We... didn't know what to do."
"You knew all along what you were doing, but when you admitted you were in love to one another, that's when you started talking about how you couldn't be together," mom said evenly. "Is that right?"
I couldn't readily answer her then. Why did everything sound so stupid when it was given context?
"Alex," she said softly. "My baby sister has run away because of this thing you two had. She's gone. I need you to help me understand everything."
I could have felt a snap of irritation or anger at how she put everything squarely on Alexa's and my shoulders, but she was right. We'd broken a societal legal and moral taboo and done it willingly. This was in no way, shape or form my parents' fault. It was all on Alexa and me, choosing to not control ourselves. No anger, no irritation at her words, only... guilt, and loss.
"I'm sorry," I murmured. "it's just hard to pony up to that."
"I know, baby," she said. "Take a moment and then go on."
"We agreed to see other people," I finally continued. "She saw Jeanie and I started seeing Heather again. It wasn't clear to either of us if this had any chance of working, and we didn't really want it to, deep down."
"Her date with Jeanie, when we concluded she was a lesbian," dad sighed. "We were really thrown off the trail, then. Even though we hadn't been on it to begin with. So, she was having sex with Jeanie and you were back with Heather."
I nodded. "Sex was good, of course. I enjoyed Heather and you can't not enjoy sex with Jeanie."
"We know," mom agreed evenly. "Go on."
"Well, it didn't help that we were still living together under one roof," I said. "Seeing each other like that, of course we ended up in one another's arms, falling more and more in love."
Mom rubbed her face again. She'd stopped crying for now, but her eyes were still red. This had to be so hard on her. "And we insisted she stay with us, excited that we could finally justify in expanding the house. Continue."
My accounting of the situation was feeling listless and even pointless to me, since they already knew that we were in love and shouldn't have been. But they had a right to know whatever they liked. Thinking back about all the times Alexa and I could have been caught at the university or other locations... how it would have reflected on my parents...
"This next part is really hard to talk about." I murmured.
"Oh, God," mom said, going pale. "She's not... Alex, you didn't get her-"
"No," I blurted, shaking my head. "No, nothing like that, I promise you. What happened next is even weirder, or at least it will seem that way to you."
My parents said nothing but merely looked at me, waiting for me to get the gumption to follow up on my statement.
"Freja knew at this point," I forced myself to say. "Alexa never keeps anything from her. They're soul-mates that way. So she watched us make love one night over Skype."
"Are you about to tell us that there's an unsecured Skype video of you making love to your aunt all over the internet?" mom asked.
I shook my head again. "No. Pretty sure you two'd know by now if that had happened. No, Freja was a part of things now, at least indirectly. One night when we went out to run errands, Alexa and I returned to that glade I told you about. It was the most beautiful scene you could imagine. Clear sky, the moon shining in on us..."
"Uh-oh..." dad said quietly.
I steeled myself. "In that glade, Alexa and I married one another."
My parents said nothing for several seconds. Finally, my mom asked the question that was on her mind. "Just the two of you physically present?"
I nodded, knowing what she meant. "Didn't feel like we needed anyone else. And aside from Freja, there was no one else to tell."
"When two or more are gathered in My name, I am there with them," dad said quietly, pinching his eyes. "You married your aunt."
I nodded slowly, unable to verbally answer him.
"Alex," he said patiently. "I'm going to ask you to do something absolutely terrifying. I want you to step back from yourself, from your perspective, and look at the big picture. And then I want you to tell me what you see."
I knew what he meant, and I admittedly didn't want to do it, not one bit. But I couldn't defy my father. I squeezed my eyes shut again, allowing myself to look over the whole drama that had unfolded since her arrival. Even though things had happened since the point in the narrative I had reached for them, this was the crux of it, the moment where I threw always all possible logic and married my blood aunt.
And I couldn't even begin to justify how stupid it all looked.
"It doesn't matter, dad," I said finally, opening my eyes. "I love her."
***
I wasn't being defiant, and my parents knew that. I was merely stating how lost I was, how this entire mess, though it was entirely my fault, had overwhelmed me. I understood now exactly how sublimated my entire being was to the limitless reality of being in love with her. It was stupid, and maybe it was even wrong, but there was nothing I could do about it.
"At least I understand fighting a hopeless fight," dad offered. "I couldn't have given other women a second thought after I knew I'd fallen for your mother. She was the most beautiful and extraordinary person I'd ever met."
I smiled. "Thanks."
"She also wasn't in any way, shape, or form related to me, Alex," dad continued, his voice indicating we were not in the slightest agreement about my quandary. "This is something entirely different."
"I know." I sighed. "And before that was the barfight where you got stabbed, and that pulled us even closer, terrified that something like that could happen to one of us."
"And I understand your terror in that circumstance," mom murmured, nodding slightly. "I remember once being worried sick when your dad and I travelled to and attended an Antifa rally. He was tanking while I was organizing demonstrators and there ended up being some really ugly fight with the Nazis we were there to oppose. Your dad smashed a lot of them, but he ended up with a few lacerations and cracked bones himself. I was worried sick."
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