章 88: Mistakes and Regrets everyone makes
Hey guys, could you do me a favour? Let us just pretend that this entire thing did not happen? I had done many things that filled me with regret and all of these shameful moments had been caught in 4k for everyone to see.
Please, do not let my family know that I am an author, they would disown me for sure. They always had high hopes for me and finding out that I became a WN-writer might shatter their hearts into countless pieces.
I did not want my parents to suffer due to my own stupid decisions. Needing the money was not an excuse─I had simply failed them.
To this very day, it had been the biggest mistake of my entire life.
However, that was until yesterday when I did something much worse. Indeed, blinded by the money I could not see the unspeakable crime I had committed. Me, an author, had written price instead of prize...
A grievous error, which was worthy of the death penalty. I hope you find it in yourself to forgive me! Because I could not live with myself any longer, this horrendous act could not go unpunished.
Learn from my crime, before others do similar unspeakable things to the English language. It has suffered enough on this site already; would anyone not put it out of its misery? Why must it suffer so?
I might have been forced to sell my body to act out a crazy Yaoi fanfiction, but the one that truly deserved everyone's compassion was the correct usage of grammar. After being ravaged by these foul "writers" there was nothing left of it.
Proper English was dead. It ended up addicted to heroin in the gutter and could never get over all the abuse it had suffered over all these years...until things were too late.
We killed this once beautiful language and still trampled upon its battered corpse. Every single day more people decided to inflict untold pain; so that it may not even find eternal peace in the hereafter.
How could it rest easy if some special beans unironically said stuff like "Your cool" or " You're house."
Did hearing statements of such nature not make you want to bash their head in?
"Their going to be home."
We should call they're buddy.
"Can we use there toilet? "
"They're is a word that exists."
The urge to inflict violence increased with each passing second. Merely thinking about the literacy geniuses that chose to write these things made me lose my faith in the prolonged existence of humankind. With them in our midst─we were all gonna die!!!
To absolutely no one's surprise, these special talents would go on to become WN authors and decided to share their particular skills with the world.
Their broken English broke my heart...
...and I wanted nothing more than to break their skull open. Someone had to check if their head was as empty as their lack of ability might suggest. For anyone interested; I was taking bets.
Now, I should not make light of murder, albeit it was up to debate whether taking the life of a WN writer should rather be seen as a favour than homicide, but certainly one could not disagree that people needed to understand the harm they were doing.
It was quite surprising that the man carrying a human skull was on the morally right side here.
Special times, as often said, required very special lunatics to see through them. What exactly constituted as "often" was not something we should be concerned about; some people just said it, okay?
Point being, if you find yourself on the wrong side of an argument when Rick and I were involved, you should definitely reevaluate your life choices.
Mistakes happen, there was no denying it. After all, many WN authors were born in the first place.
Although this did not necessarily mean these sorts of errors could not be fixed. This might sound akin to a revolutionary concept to some, yet there was no downside to correcting some spelling mistakes here and there.
If anyone finds mistakes of any kind, feel free to point them out and I would tend to them. Because that was the normal thing to do... when something was wrong you make it right.
Seriously, some of you guys were paid to write your story and yet you could not even be bothered to fix the most basic of mistakes. You sure love and respect your paying customers very much. Yes, if churning out cheap chapters could not be called "true love" then what else could?
How could they even complain when one hand was always busy sending sperm on a suicide mission? R-18, Harem and smut form the holy trifecta of the "too busy with beating your own meat" fan club of each and every novel.
At this point, I did not even have any expectations left.
Rather, I was begging you guys to just present these chapters in an English that did not make me yearn for perpetual blindness. Could you guys, at the least, do that much?
But, who was I to say stuff like that? Just a man, with his bodyless friend Rick, rambling on like a madman, yup, that was me in the flesh.
Maybe, English had long been destined to perish at the hands of ESL speakers.
Was...I the anomaly here? Were these harem enthusiasts right all along? The jerks jerking were the true fortune tells this world had to offer, that much was certain now.
Still, this would remain their only meaningful contribution to society until their eventual demise, which came at the hands of an unhealthy diet. Afterwards, their decomposing body would serve as nourishment for poor insects that could literally not live without them.
Anyways, English was dead─so be it. Remember it for what it once was, not what became of it. Surely distant day people would come to look at this time period and start to wonder. And think to themselves: "What the fuck were these guys doing?"
To which you can proudly proclaim on social media. " I have been there when English was kill."
A monumental achievement of such grandiose nature surely could distract you from the fact, that you would die alone. Yes, even if no one could ever love you, you could still love yourself for accomplishing such a feat.
One should always be proud of murdering a helpless language. Desecrating the corpse was just the cherry on top, I could also add that their cherry would not be popped, but that would be redundant.
By now, my point has surely been stated enough for people to get the message. So, let me give a quick shoutout to the people that were funding this insanity with their powerstones.
Flying_kites, Gg_Ss_165, Rhenimax, Gourav_Jyoti_Dutta, Isaiah_York, XimenoideX , SelfProclaimedNerd.
Thanks to these people for sponsoring the second season of this, uh, "story". And also for allowing me to fill the word count much easier. I might not know any of you guys, but I could tell you got good taste.
Okay, the ranting had to stop for now. During this whole bit, my body had moved on autopilot and brought me to a place I did not know. Somehow, there was a forest here and no grass. A new dimension and new story awaited me─hurray, I was finally free from making up my own plot.
Unsurprisingly, things were not that easy. Because nothing happened, despite walking into the forest. Yup, the curse of the walking simulator had struck yet again.
Rick could not wait. What interesting development might await our dynamic duo on the other side of it? What lurked behind the thin veil of filler content? Our dear author here, had not run out of ideas, had he?
Of course not, that would imply that I had ideas to start with.
Well, nothing could change if I stopped moving my sweet buttocks forward! Onwards Rick, to adventure!!!
But Rick did not reply, because Rick was a skull. And skulls usually did not reply.
That did not matter, however, as more content needed to be produced...
We would see together...in the next episode of "nothing is happening"
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