章 30: Barak mayhem.
{{ A/N- so I tried to upload this last night but it decided to delete itself, so I a fit of rage I rewrote the entire chapter and decided to unleash Bellamys horror upon several people near the end of the chapter. If you felt your ribs hurt at his previous actions then you best prepare for your funeral}}
After leaving Jaya I sat down and pondered my next move, Ace will probably loose that that fight even though Blackbeard was weakened. I'm 90% sure his dark dark fruit has mental abilities as well. If it makes the user unstable who knows what it can do to the opponent.
Still Ace said he owed me a favour, perhaps I should cash that in with Whitebeard for a territory. He'll evaluate my strength to see if I'm worthy to protect it but that's just a chance for me to see if I'm now the strongest man alive. I still need combat experience and my Ryou needs work. Only granny and Garp could use it without issue and Beady chan lost his touch after being stuck behind a desk for a decade.
I sighed and rubbed Sofya's thighs, she was plastered over my lap keeping me company while the others go about their hobbies. Sofya discovered she likes rubbing my muscles because her previous master didn't have any. God I hate those dragons, so pathetic. To call them dragons is an insult to gekos.
She straddled me and pushed her gargantuan chest atop my own, my hands scaling her body feeling her recently developed muscles below her fat. The training is paying off as her figure has only improved since she joined and we've been putting it to good use every night.
"Bellamy the next island is Barak right? I heard from that feathered faeces once that it's the main fish export for around the world. He also complained about how the marines did nothing there." I then began to explain the islands history to her. This worlds history is actually quite interesting so I study it as a hobby.
"Ah yes Barak, this island is very special in the grand line as the marines stay away from it. This island is only for fisherman and merchants. The island does not have a city after the world governments involvement with it in the past so it's littered with gazebos housing fisherman catching their produce and merchant ships carrying it off.
Barak for some reason is surrounded by fish all year round, every migratory fish aiming for the new world would pass by Barak at one point or another so fishermen made it their home.
The reason that marines aren't welcome there is because of an incident in the past. A long time ago a group of foodie pirates heard of Barak and wished to sail there. Their goal was to state every dish the world had to offer so an island with a big number of aquatic dishes was a dream come true.
But when they arrived they were horrified, the marines were launching an all out attack at four groups of pirates who were there to taste some of the fish. These pirates weren't weak by any means so they sent out an admiral.
This particular admiral ate the abura abura fruit of the oil oil fruit. The results of the fight were horrifying to the foodies". I explained, Sofya was confused about why that particular fruit was an issue.
I then did my best to reference an event in my past life, an oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico which caused millions of aquatic creatures and numerous sea turtles to die due to it. The water was polluted so the wild life died, their carcass was unusable so they simply were destroyed. However they couldn't burn bodies covered in the patroleum as it would ignite and the business would not allow such a resource to be wasted.
The more I spoke the more horrified Sofya became as she imagined such a sight. So I continued "what happened next became legend, the foodie pirates captain was much like myself. He unlocked his Conqueror Haki then and there turning the tide of the battle.
He and his crew then slaughtered all those responsible. But after they were finished they noticed that the damage had been done. The foodie pirates then made a very wise decision. They gave up piracy and used their collected wealth to seek aide from people to clean and help the wild life get back to normal.
People with like minded views came with devil fruit users and their technology that could help. They began to establish a city to help fix the marines fuck up. However the World Government is filled with morons. They couldn't stand the fact that pirates were getting more advanced and more popular than them.
So they chose to buster call the island, they then tried to cover it up but the Foodie pirates were well known. The world government faced what would be known today as a revolutionary movement. Many more followed as powerful individuals found similar incidents occurring.
While this happened the fishermen who loved Barak and the merchants who profited off the decision chose to use what was left of the island to restart what once was. There is no city there but there is also no marines. It's just people who want some fish."
Sofya was in awe at my story, as was the audience who gathered as I started telling it. They then began pestering me about the Island as we drew closer to it.
A few days later we reached the island and disembarked. The chef duo of lily and Mani stormed off in search of new recipes and ingredients. Some of the girls chose to go sunbathe as the weather was quite good whisky the rest chose to go fish. Some stayed in the ship while others chose to explore the island.
I personally went out to an open air bar to learn what's been happening recently. As I entered and sat at a table I ordered the one piece equivalent of a fish supper with chips and tartar sauce. I sampled the cod, haddock, pollock, hake, rock salmon and many other types of fires fish. The chips were also made from a variety of potatoes that were farmed from various islands. The different climates and islands around the world resulted in many basic ingredients mutating.
A chef is one of the most profitable occupations in this world. No wonder most Reincarnators beg for a food wars level skill in cooking. So they can make bank~
Enjoying my meal I listened in on several conversations of the locals. From what I gathered a recognisable pink haired pirate with a gluttonous appetite just left. Jewellery Bonney, I sighed kissing the opportunity to meet her. I wished to learn what devil fruit she has and if she's actually Queen Conney of Sorbet kingdom.
Granny was obsessed with matriarchal countries so researched them in her spare time yet she could find nothing on Sorbets royal family. Only that they were a heavily cuisine focused country in the south blue. The women in the crowd complained about her unladylike eating and her rambunctious behaviour while the men were heart eyed about her curves.
How her waist could be so slim yet she can fit in all that food was beyond them. I heard several women who were munching on salad mutter "devil fruit bullshit". I wonder how they'd react to Alvida? She actually has a bounty of 63 million now after she beat some countries prince to death for trying to make her his wife.
I'm semi convinced she could be the next big mom if left unchecked with her appetite. After finishing my meal I went for a walk around the island which was mainly markets selling fish to travellers or fishing supplies. Some pirates love to go diving therefore diving bells are in style here. I should get one for my next ship!
I then went around searching until I found Carina haggling for a good deal. "Carina come here!" I shouted drawing her attention. She looked over at me and smiled before turning around and ending her deal. When she walked away with a smile and a bag of groceries I noticed the merchant walk away and spit blood from his mouth. Truly a blessed idea to have her as a crew member.
"What's up Bellamy? Wanted to see me in a swimsuit~ I'm happy to oblige!" She said reaching towards her lilac hoodie that she was wearing that covered her bombastic figure. She was also wearing short shorts and sandals but the loose hoodie only let people see her beautiful legs.
"Carina I think we should buy a diving bell for the next ship, we could use it to search ship wrecks and find buried treasure. I also heard aboht teching pearls from clams nestled at the depths of the sea".
Her eyes shined at the mention of treasure and pearls. One because it would give her more money which she adores and two the pearls could be a delicious snack for her. The jewel jewel fruit allows the user to eat jewels and grow stronger from it. The rarer the jewel the more power she gets. Deep see pearls would be a major boost for her considering they can help increase sea resistance.
I made it a point for devil fruit users to start gaining sea stone resistance. I still need someone to teach me seimei kikan though, if I had that I could be captured by the marines without worry. You may be asking why would he ever want that?
If I let myself get caught and thrown into impel down I could use seimei kikan to unlock the cuffs and locks. Strengthened hair could pick locks is what I'm aiming for and the resistance is needed to have enough strength to do it. If I could unlock any door in impel down I could raid their armoury. Several graded weapons and a few dangerous devil fruits that the marines don't want getting out.
Seriously there are fruits that the world government will not allow to have a wielded just in case someone turns on them or the user gets assassinated for the fruit. Impel down isn't a prison it's a devil fruit extraction scheme.
After speaking with carina for a bit I chose to unleash my observation haki for a bit. I normally imagine observation to be similar to En from HXH. Normally I'd use it like Nobunaga by compressing it into a globe, that way I have a much greater perception of the area round me. Now I'm using it like Pitou, wildly.
My range covered the island allowing me to feel everything. I could sense the merchants counting coins, the butcher gutting fish to sell, the pirates and travellers munching away, my girls in their swimsuits, the fish in the water and a.... a tunnel?
I changed my senses back to normal and turned towards the direction I found a tunnel. My figure vanished as I rushed towards it, behind a shady looking merchant gazebo was a boulder. The merchant looked at me and his eyes widened, he reached under the table for something so I blurred and used shigan ending him quickly.
Under the table was a button with a wire going underground. What could he hidden down here? I walked towards the boulder and ripped it off the ground only to find a bronze hatch. I grinned feeling my sense of adventure boil. I let my conqueror haki flash like a pulse momentarily.
It was very small so no one was knocked out but my crews senses would pick it up. It was a little messaging method I developed as I saw a school of donkey dolphins in the water one day. They have echolocation so I tried to mimic it with my haki. All I got was that my crew could notice me so I started pulsing it like morse code in small burst. Voila~ another form of communication.
I also rubbed one of Mani's rings letting her know id found something interesting. 8 seconds later Muret and Mani were by my side. Quetzal and Sofya aren't skilled enough to pick up the single yet and senor was with his family.
The others just went about their own thing. I pointed to the dead guy and the hatch causing my two oldest friends to smile. We then hopped down the hatch without a care in the world. After we touched down soundlessly we began exploring the tunnels.
I senses around the corner and smiled wickedly as I saw a man fully decked out in white talking to someone with an explosive collar on. The alarm system connected to this room meaning that when it's activated that CP0 agent will either kill that guy or use him for something.
I signalled the girls who also sensed the guy and we decided to use a plan of an attack. I compressed my legs while Muret held several senbon needles between her knuckles like a naruto shinobi. Mani had some chakrams ready to throw, once we were ready I released my springs and rapidly began bouncing off the walls of the cave towards the white guy.
He was startled by the loud noise and turned around only to be pelted with senbon hitting a few of his nerves thanks to Murets expert aim. He began to transform with yellow fur sprouting from his uncovered areas. The mask obscured it but I think he ate a lion zoan devil fruit.
He focused entirely on me and rushed towards me using soru. What he didn't notice was the chakrams about to separate his head. His danger senses kicked in and he tried to duck resulting in his ear being cut off and his mask falling.
I saw a handsome man staring up with rage on his face, so I punched him as hard as I could with my armament covered fist. His head caved in and he fell backwards with a few rolls due to my momentum transferring him to him.
After I landed I looked at the slave and couldn't believe who was collared. "Hey kid what's your name" I asked the dark skin coloured slave. He then smiled seeing his captor dead "my name is Obomer, Barak Obomer".
As I saw a visage of the American flag manifest briefly behind him as he introduce himself I snapped out of my stupor "why did they have you her Obomer?"
"Well I was born on Barak too a couple of fishermen, one day at the markets I noticed a strange looking fruit at the bottom of a barrel of lemons. It looked like it was warped with pink and green. I purchase it and was graced with the most disgusting thing in my life".
We all grinned at the fact of a devil fruit eaters reaction, it's a trial of passage for someone to experience that god awful taste and every eater always shares and empathises with a smile. He continued his story "I then discovered that I had eaten a devil fruit, it was called the warp warp fruit and allowed me to teleport people and things to places I'd been too before."
My eyes widened as he continued "so I started making money transporting fish to other islands faster than the merchants. I can warp as much as I want, so can the person touching me. But for those I'm not touching I can only warp them somewhere once a day. The government found out about me, killed my parents and slapped the collar on me. CP0 use me to get into all the countries that the government can't normally. I'm also used as emergency evac for the dragons" He spat out
Mani waved her Hands halting his explanation "wait wait wait, you can go anywhere you've been before? No side effects"
He then scratched his cheeks "yeah I can go anywhere but when I take someone without touching it drains my stamina based on their weight. I also used to get dizzy doing it repeatedly so they forced me to train."
I asked "where can you go?" As a grin formed on my face. "Eh? Well I can go to anywhere in Mariejois as I'd been taken to every dragons home, any of the Yonko islands and any marine base. I can also go to Impel Down when they used me to escort prisoners to level 6. Plus a few other islands that they took me too, they allowed me to walk around while they had jobs to give me some degree of freedom."
My grin became manic "wanna fuck with some people?" I asked, he was a little unnerved "uhhh well I can't go far without my handler because of the collar. He's lying there dead so...".
I walked towards him and sued ryou to rip the collar off then tossed it at Mani who opened a portal with her rings to a marine ship. Gion's ship specifically~ some of her crew bought some of Mani's jewellery at some point. As the collar passed through I heard Gion's voice "eh??" Before a boom echoed out.
She's survive but her belongings would be torched, I then turned back to Obomer. The black boy had a mouth like a koi fish after he saw what just happened. "So? Wanna fuck with some people? Any interest of joining my crew?"
"Ah I uhhhh, sorry I don't want to join any crews. I just want to travel for abit. However I will help you get some payback if it sounds appealing." "Oh it'll be appealing alright~" I then turned to Muret "Muret I'm going to need a few drugs from you, this is going to be great".
After that began my mayhem, Obomer can only teleport one person he sees once a day so I had to get creative. I took him back to the ship and got the crew together to plan the ultimate heist.
Targets: Sengoku, Big news Morgan, A celestial Dragon, Big Mom, Akainu, shanks, Doffy chan, Magellan and maybe Garp.
I had in-depth knowledge about whet I could find Sengoku and Akainu at specific points of the day. Obomer also knew several of the Dragons scheudles so we could plan this perfectly. Magellan's office is easy to reach with Obomer having visited it so many times, Doffy was just spotted leaving Jaya fuming after not finding me.
She was pissed at Blackbeard for letting me leave and not stalling me so she threatened to castrate him, that'll be useful for sowing discord later. Also Ace did in fact loose but he managed to take one of Teach's eyes and kill Lafitte. In the fight he actually used Lafitte as a shield against some of Teach's AOE attacks then snapped his neck.
This operation will also reach its peak with Big Mom who is currently about to host a tea party which means Morgan will be there. After I checked that Obomer was ready and that I had the drugs prepared we set off.
First we appeared infront of a unconscious Sengoku taking his nap due to Garp stress, we slapped a sea stone cuff on him and teleported him to the designated spot. Naturally he awoke in a panic in a dark room with pink lighting, where he heard a familiar voice "BeAdYyyYyYY Chwaaaaaaan~". His panic sets in as he finds he can't use his devil fruit and the fear turned off his haki.
Next we wait for five minutes before Akainu storms into the office to complain about not murdering enough pirates. He scowls seeing me before he tried to attack only to be teleported. He looked around an onsen and spotted Delphaline Strauss, a celestial dragoness who frequently assaults High ranking officers. She looks and Akainu and orders "slave get on your knees and lick me clean" as she gets out of her mud bath dripping with a herbal concoction the red dog actually grimaces as he realises this may be the one time he considers piracy as a good thing before he begins to carry out his "orders" . The dog won't be humping Justice today.
Next we teleport to Impel down and pour a lot of drugs into Magellan's mug of coffee. It was a mixture of Aloe, Cascara, Senna compounds, Bisacodyl and castor oil. This is a super laxative that will make someone shit out their spine. We left allowing him to come for his coffee without being noticed.
Next stop was A celestial dragons named Felixic Bombay who loves assaulting children. Before he could turn around and squeal he blurred away with us. We appeared in the middle of a childish wonderland filled with criminals. Big Mom's tea party~ several off her kids eyes widened as they saw me. Big news raised his camera and started flashing like gun fire.
Big mom was absorbed in taking a bite of the parties major dessert, what she didn't notice was the celestial dragon who was teleported head first into the cream of the dessert muffling any noise. Next to his head with several pills containing Flibanserin along with several similar drugs. *Chomp* LinLin just swallowed the dragon whole and began munching. Everyone was too shocked as they saw the bubble head enter her mouth.
Morgan screamed "BIG NEWWSSS" like he just busted a nut while the Yonko's children screamed "MAAAMAAAA!!!!!" They screamed but she ignored them as she inhaled the food with a joyous look on her face until she abruptly stopped. "Eh why do I taste blood? And why do I suddenly feel so hot??? It's been years since I felt this???" She then began panting displaying the symptoms of what we gave her. The drugs were all women's viagra, except Monet and Muret amplified the effects.
Imagine giving an Elephant the libido of several animals such as rabbits and lions then put that into heat. We've all seen big mom angry, we've all seen her hungry and now we all get to see her horny~. But the one who gets to experience it is... Red haired Shanks~. With a *blop* me, Obomer and LinLin where teleported to a resort island where Shanks is currently staying.
Fun fact is that Obomer can teleport to him easily as he's been talking with the government for a while. Shanks was dosing away happily not realising the horniest old hag on the planet just spawned next to him and She isn't taking no for an answer!
We blooped away and appeared next to big news Morgan who immediately began photographing us. Before Big moms kids could grab us we blooped away appearing in what looks like a sex dungeon. Morgan turned around and saw something that made reach peak nut instantly. Sengoku was gagged and terrified as several Okama Lorded over his body, they were waiting for their "Beady-chan" to arrive for months and now he is here gagged and waiting for some beads.
I watched the Afro Buddha look towards us, I then watched something die in him as he saw Morgan snap the photos before squealing "BIIiIiIiiIIIGGGGG NNNNEEEEWWWWSSSSS". He recognised me so I smiled and waved before me and Obomer blooped leaving the seagull there to enjoy himself. He forgot that he may also be on the menu as he was absorbed in the scandal that was happening in front of his eyes. My bounty was definitely going to skyrocket.
*blooop* next we appeared behind Doffy chan, she turned displaying her monsterous reflexes. When she caught glimpse of her veins bulged. Before she could do anything I smacked her across the face with a box of tampons sending her flying. We blooped away leaving a Gabriel Iglesias style Gift basket designed for women labelled for Doffy.
Our next stop was in Magellan's shitter just as he was about to release the beast, his eyes were closed as he diverted his full attention to surpassing his limits. He ignored the *bloooop* as he unleashed his energy and broke through. As the relief washed over him he finally registered the screams and opened his eyes. Magellan found himself Defacating in the middle of Marinefords' civilian district.
I landed back onto my ship before slamming my head into the deck with laughter. My ribs began to ache as I laughed so hard while Obomer followed suit. The crew then walked forward and pulled the den den mushi off my shoulder so they could print the photos it took and distribute them to the public.
Mayhem!!!!!!!
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