章 21: Selfless
It was raining again when morning came. Most of Inuyasha's wounds had already healed thanks to his half-youkai nature. He was sleeping off bouts of fever but the worst was over. Miroku sat nearby, his staff leaning against his shoulder. Shippo was teaching Rin in hushed tones as they scribbled and colored on the pages of their presents, with Jaken and Kirara looking on with interest. Sesshomaru was nowhere to be found, but his retainer said he went on his patrols despite the rain.
Kagome lingered at the mouth of the cave, staring absently at the steady downpour. She didn't hear the taijiya approach, slightly jumping in surprise when she heard her voice. "How are you, Kagome-chan?"
She accepted the tea that was offered. "Arigato, Sango-chan. I'm okay, don't worry."
"You haven't slept, have you? Miroku and I are getting worried, Shippo-chan too."
Kagome smiled faintly. She felt tired, yes, but she was also restless. And hurting.
"If you need someone to talk to about anything at all, I'm here, okay?" Sango placed one hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed it. Kagome nodded. She knew the taijiya meant opening up about her feelings regarding Inuyasha and Kikyo, but she decided it would hurt less if she kept it to herself.
"Ne, Sango-chan, can you watch over Inuyasha and the rest for a little while? I'd like to be alone." Without asking for a reply, she handed back the tea cup and dashed through the rain, ignoring her best friend's pleas to stay.
###
He felt it before he even caught the scent. Powerful reiki spread across the whole clearing like a blanket. His youki reacted when it caught tendrils of pure spiritual energy, but it wasn't suppressing. The miko might not even be aware that she was emitting such a strong aura.
The gray sky rumbled above him, the thick clouds giving in to the weight of the heavy downpour and pulled a steady sheet of rain to the ground. Thick branches could not protect the daiyoukai from the icy spatters that soaked his silver hair, yet he continued to edge closer to the clearing.
Tears.
The scent reminded him of that day the miko was running towards the Bone Eater's Well. Why does she always cry for the sake of my half-brother? He had always regarded tears as another human frailty. It was weakness to shed tears. It was weakness to show emotion. And yet… this miko always cried for the sake of others.
He found her kneeling to the ground, clenched hands on her lap and head hung low. Wet hair covered her eyes and her soaked clothes clung tightly around her skin. The image of helplessness struck something inside the great inu daiyoukai. He had never seen a human so hurt, so… broken. Small tremors came off her pale skin. It was not from the cold, Sesshomaru knew. She was crying.
He just stood there, looking at her bedraggled form. And then a small, quavering voice broke through the roar of the rain. "Why does love have to hurt, Sesshomaru-sama?"
He did not answer. There was no need. He let her talk.
"Why must fate tear Inuyasha and Kikyo apart in the cruelest way? They were in love and they were tricked into killing each other. Kikyo died thinking Inuyasha betrayed her. And now that she's been resurrected, they couldn't be together because Inuyasha doesn't want to hurt me. I don't want to see him suffer anymore."
This one came as a surprise. He had assumed she was here because the hanyou had been looking for and thinking about his undead lover. Apparently, it was not the case. She was hurting because others were hurting. She did not care for her own emotions.
A selfless act.
Red, teary eyes looked up at him. Profound pain hid behind those wide brown eyes. There was something else. Loss. Utter loss. He saw that same look only once. More than three centuries ago.
Mother.
Sesshomaru was beyond stunned. An unfamiliar emotion crept inside him, buried deep into the recesses of his psyche. His outward expression remained impassive, apathetic, but uncharted emotions started clawing their way into the self-imposed barriers around his heart.
The daiyoukai bent one knee to regard the miko with intense golden eyes. He lifted his only arm and let the sleeve of his kimono shield her head from the continuous onslaught of the rain.
"Why does love have to hurt, Sesshomaru-sama?" the miko asked again, desperation and helplessness breaking her voice.
Sesshomaru inhaled her scent. This was the first time he had let a human come this close, their faces only a feet apart from each other. The smell of tears was stronger and he let his youki caress her reiki in an attempt to establish a connection without physically touching her. Her spiritual power reached out and clung to him in despair.
He held her gaze. "Because it is real."
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