章 3: Why am I not a dragon
[3rd person pov]
(In japan)
A tall 6'6 16-year-old boy with jet black hair covering his eyes, abs that can crush Diamonds, and biceps that could bench over 350 pounds, he pretty much looks like a hentai protagonist but without all the bullshit powers, HOWEVER, his face even though unseen by most would be considered perfect, his body at peak physical condition, and his grades at the top meaning he is inherently better than them and doesn't need to resort to rape to get laid.
He is a virgin though and anti-social, and a nerd, and he stutters when talking to anyone he doesn't know, and his father is a chronic drunk so he is abused at home, so that's a thing. Also! his mother is a whore and doesn't make a lot of money so he is poor as well.
All in All, a fairly shit life, I mean he has a good body, temperament, and character but unfortunately, he didn't get to choose his parents or life so his talents were wasted. And what were his talents? Well, it was...Uhh...I forgot
Anyway safe to say the boy name Mikami Satoru has got a bad lot in life but not worse than his Gnome of a friend Shinobu Kusama.
Shinobu has rich parents that spoil him and buy him whatever he wants, they are also a lovingly happy couple bordering on soul mates I'd say, and to add to that they are both major leads in a new project to cure cancer, and they always donate to the less fortunate too.
Shinobu can literally buy whatever he wants and they will just smile at him without a care as to what he buys, and in addition, Shinobu is a master at sculpting so he himself has made quite a sum of money selling his art to various Art houses and has become a renown sculptor rivaling Michelangelo.
He has all the money in the world, and he is outgoing and bubbly always wanting to have fun and go out. He is popular both within and outside the school always striking up conversations with anyone he can with a smile on his face as he does it.
He has everything he could ever ask for.
...
...
...
Except for the fact that he is 4'9, but I digress. He is the happiest kid- I mean man on the planet. and with his shota like features, he is VERY popular with older women(Pedophiles) and onee-sans(Pedophiles) around the city and was even almost raped a couple of times but was valiantly saved each by the one known as Mikami Satoru. In fact, that's actually how they became friends.
One day when Shinobu was just wandering around, his Shota booty ripe for the taking, he encountered a wild Onee-san on the streets.
At first, he tried to use [Run] But it was blocked, and he was forced into a confrontation. Going onto the offensive he used [negotiate] but the onee-san was shown to be resistant to such attacks, with wide eyes Shinobu watches as the onee-san used [Tease], it was super effective, he was dealt a critical blow and was forced into the flustered state.
With only 3/4th of his health left, he weighed his options a bit before he used his signature move [Dense Harem Mc Aura] and his flustered state was cured almost instantly and he regained all his health.
The wild Onee-san did not relent however and used [Empowered Tease] a move that forces the enemy to combat against physical contact against the Onee-sans greatest weapon...Their chest.
Onee-san used [Empowered Tease] it was super effective, and Shinobu was forced to his knees with only 1/4 of his health left and was forced back in the flustered state. Shinobu then tried to use [Decline] however it was not effective and the Onee-san countered with her finisher move [Ara-Ara] It was super effective! And Shinobu was down for the count.
As per Shota: The Battle For Innocence rules, the winner gets to claim the looser, and right as the Onee-san was about to claim him a Wild Mikami appeared in her way. The Onee-san took one look at Mikami and lost interest instantly [The Wild Onee-san has used Flee] and was successful.
The Wild Mikami was dealt a critical blow to his self-esteem and was infected with [Depression]
After that they had both become fast friends despite Mikami's lack of social skills and they had been together as best friends since then.
~~~
(Mikami Pov)
"..."
Shinobu: "..."
"..."
Shinobu: "..."
"I-"
Shinobu: "Not. A. Word."
"..."
Shinobu: "..."
"...Cuckhold"
Shinobu: "You bastard!"
Yo, my name is Mikami Satoru. I am 16 years old and go to Acadmi high, my likes are bodybuilding and video games, and my dislikes are those that bully other people for no reason and Brussel sprouts. And the gremlin who is trying to slap me but is failing miserably at it...
Shinobu: "Oi! Crouch Down So I Can Hit You!"
"Just be taller."
Anyway, this little man is my best friend Shinobu Kusama he is short, like super short, like 4'9 short, but also super rich and good looking so he gets a lot of attention, it's both a blessing and a curse, as he constantly has to protect his...and I'm quoting him on this "Precious Shota Booty"...Yes I know its kinda weird.
Shinobu: "Oi! It's not that strange."
"Okay, but who actually refers to themselves as a fucking shota? Like that's weird dude. No one in their right mind would classify themselves as a little boy."
Shinobu: "You're just mad because you get no play"
"And your short and need my help to carry shit around."
Anyway, the reason we are currently arguing is that an older woman, Nah it wouldn't be right to refer to her as an older woman...*Ahem*...An absolute MILF tried hitting Shinobu up and taking him to a nearby love hotel. Now normally I wouldn't condone such actions, but I mean...
[Image here]
Yeah, yeah you see this? You see that? Shinobu was about to get his soul snatched and yet he is complaining about it like a whiny little bitch. And the worst part was...she was willing to do a 3-way...with me, the dude who women actively avoid for reason I can't explain.
Goddammit, I was so close, so fucking close, but Shinobu just had to fuck things up for me. He straight-up called the cops on her phat ass, and got her arrested for child endangerment and sexual assault against a minor...Not that I would mind the former. But apparently, Shinobu want's to remain a virgin forever. What a shame.
Shinobu: "Are you done with your rant?"
"Are you done being a cockblocking asshole?"
Shinobu: "..."
"..."
Shinobu: "..."
"..."
Shinobu: "Fuck you."
"That's what she was going to do!"
~~~
-Later-
~~~
Shinobu couldn't reach up to my face so he resorted to kicking me in the shin, which for some reason hurt like a bitch even though he has spaghetti legs, anyway he was running for his life as I chased him down the streets with a murderous look in my eyes. We ran all the way until we got to school, where I legally couldn't harm him...in the open that is.
"I'll get you back for that." I grumble as we enter our homeroom class, and he just gives me a cheeky grin and says nothing as I slide open the door. Almost instantly the entire class turns their attention to us...well not us more like.
""""""Kusama-sama!!!""""""
...
...
...
*Sigh*
"This is my life"
Shinobu: "Get used to it side-kick," he says smugly as he walks in and gets swarmed by all the girls, and even a couple of suspicious boys as well.
'God I wish I could punt that little shit like a football'
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