章 2: Our Fella in da Magic World

...

"You try to believe a god who dices. But;

God doesn't dice."

Albert Einstein *

When he opened his eyes, he had to quickly close them, dazzled by light. There was a very big pain, especially in the right eye and on the right side of his head. Weird thing was when he thought about his headache, Eren remembered he had migraine.

I must be the only person who had migraine at the age of seventeen.

After a while, he felt a hand touching his forehead. On the time those hands touched, the pain in his head started to decrease. Also there was a little movement in front of his closed eyes.

Eren opened his eyes without pain or anything but there were no surprise, hell or sexy angels. It was just a blank wall(?)

With a little struggle, Eren finally managed to turn his head in half. It was amazing to see a strange woman staring at him, though he didn't understand at first.

"Is she a young nurse in the hospital or what! Ah, the hand on my head should be hers."

Her hair was shining through the sunlight which he didn't know where it was coming from. It was such a weird image, Eren thought for a second "Am I in a dream?" Her image was so unreal and extraordinary that, it was almost unbelievable!

"I died and came to heaven? What the hell! Where are the other sexy angels, god? Just start the show. I'm waiting, hoy!!"

It would be a good change if we think about my heart-attack. Maybe a hospital would be bad. Heaven is the best place for me. There is no more persecution, lessons, hospitals, after-school sports and bullying that I couldn't resolve no matter what."

For that moment, the idea of paradise seemed pretty cool. So Eren would do anything to make sure that those moments didn't end.

But when this beautiful girl started to make cute gestures, Eren realized that this wasn't heaven or something holy. She even smiled happily, did strange gestures, saying "cute thing" and fondled Eren's face with her hands.

"Eren" ...?

In somewhere between these crazy things, Eren wondered whether he was really dreaming.

Even before digesting everything yet, an old man showed up. He walked like an old and tired elder and stopped just beside the girl. Old dude also started looking at Eren with the same weird look. Considering that they were looking at Eren's face with that height...

"I guess my bed must be on the ground or something." he thought. The old man next to the girl also started to make cute gestures and stroked Eren's head. Even though the act was cute and pleasant, what he did seemed rather ludicrous to Eren.

"WHY PEOPLE KEEP TOUCHİNG MY HEAD WITHOUT ASKİNG!!! WTF"

Eren was grateful that the girl leaned forward and put her hands behind his head and pillow. Also raised his head slightly. But after a moment Eren realized that he could see his own body!

What he called his own body before, on Earth, had changed.

His body was tiny ... and all the parts...like ... and....fingers.....maaaan!!?

He was a baby ...!

------------------------

About a month had passed, and those days for Eren were quite boring. He didn't know how he died, also he didn't know how he was reborn. Actually he didn't know almost fucking nothing!

A couple of days later of his reborn, he made a choice.

"Considering my old life, I don't want to learn something.

Also I dont fucking care! Like hell. Dear God. Get da fuck out off my life from this moment on.."

Eren slept more than thirteen hours every day, and when he wasn't asleep he wanted to get through fast with the discomfort of having a shit!

"If you aren't the one in control...It's not cool to shit every time you eat!!!

He was about to go crazy because of his rudimentless scars all over on his butt. And worst of all ... there were times to breastfeed at least 3-4 times a day.

Sometimes Eren saw himself as a psycho, kind of a criminal or a bad person. But because he wasn't in a good position on this stupid body, he continued to withstand and tried to understand the situation as much as he could. Strangely enough he couldn't get horny in this body. Maybe it was related that his body was really young.

He has been living in there for a month. But he saw the blond-shiny(?)-haired girl who had always looked after him, the weird old man who kept playing games and the other blonde woman who came to breastfeed him. He didn't saw any other person other than these three. Not a father figure and not someone from logical universe.

[Why they look so happy. If I'm not happy, you shouldn't either]

In fact there was nothing to be sure of. But he started to feel, there was something strange around here.

Eren tried to familiarize himself to live here, in this dumb house with these strange crazy people. Also these people loved to fondle his face and Eren was going crazy!

----After 5 months----

Although he was a five or six months old baby, Eren was able to move his hands to do many things and started to be able to tell what he wanted.

There was no shortage of people when Eren need something simple. Also while using these people like his hands in that small room, he learned something. The name of the blonde girl.

"Yuzu."

A perfect weird name for a weird owner. I swear I'd be applauding if I could.

If the mother role of Eren was Yuzu, the weird shiny girl, then be it. Eren accepted this fact and used this girl like a mother figure. He was sure this baby body wasn't the child of this Yuzu and he didn't care.

"I don't care! But please God! I'am begging you, don't connect my birth and my real family with a cliche drama or something. Stay away from me with your unwanted drama, ok?"

With his toilet schecule, the six old month Eren would be cleaned up immediately and there was no rash before action. The pain of his butt and late cleaned shit on his ass was the only important thing on his daily routine. Sometimes his stomach got pains and sometimes he had a headache. But the problem with his ass was always the worst.

Therefore, the most important task of the day was to set the time of the toilet perfectly, eat as little as possible and learn. Yeah, he was trying to learn everything and hoped to solve the conversations.

Eren also needed to speak exactly like a person needing air when he puts his head under the water. He felt lonely, bored, disgusting and curious.

He remembered why he died. He had a heart attack and was somehow awake on the other side..Here. Is this other side? So everyone died came to here and reborn as a baby? Or is this not an after life or heaven? And now what ..?

Fucking other side, this side and sides and Religions!!! How come there were no ANGELS AND HEAVEN HA?!!

Eren sometimes gone crazy with nothing to do. Somehow he went crazy like that 3 to 5 times everyday.

Why there are no angelllslsssssss and endless pleasures here!!!!!!!

I was pretty sure that we were deceived by all those religions. But still, ...

I really wanted some naked angels God, you know right..." He was also talking with some god with weird gangsta sentences. One morning he even said "Whatsup nig..."

He was getting crazier every day.

...

After craziness slowly vanished, he started to think. he sought a word to summarize his situation, but couldn't find.

While looking at Yuzu's shimmering hair, Eren watched the beautiful scene of the over-beautiful girl. He hadn't been bored to death for six months thanks to this blonde sexy girl.

Not only looked like an angel, she also played games with Eren, took care of him and let time for him flow like water. Only thanks to her perfect beauty and soft hands, Eren was sure he endured this torture.

Whenever he felt sick, she put her hands over his painful part(belly, forehad...butt?) and said something like a song to make him felt good.

Every time Eren felt hopeless, he looked at the girl even those missing angels would envy, and felt better again. Thus, for Eren life continued in that room and in that house with da same shity routine.

...