章 7: Chapter 6

CHUNKS OF MILK STUCK IN MY HAIR.

I didn't think I was someone who got upset easily; usually I was someone who could take a lot, whether it be from Father or from the bullies at school. After years of enduring insults and taunts, I thought I had become pretty immune to them. And while I tried to act like it didn't bother me...it did. I would hear their jeering laughs, see them pointing their fingers at me in my dreams.

Did they think I simply went home and forgot about it all? That I could just pretend like I hadn't been completely and utterly humiliated in front of the entire school?

My grip on the sink tightened, my knuckles turning white. One thing I wanted more than anything was to do the same to them, so they would know how it felt. But I knew, even if I was given a jug of sour milk right now, I wouldn't be able to purposefully dump it on someone, no matter how much I hated them. Simply because I knew first-hand, not only how embarrassing it was, but also how much it affected your self-esteem.

In a futile attempt to wash out the sour smelling chunks from my hair, I bent my head under the small sink, banging my head against the underneath of the tap repeatedly.

"Fuck," I cursed under my breath as I once again hit my bruised head. "Why is there so little space?"

A knock sounded on the bathroom door, surprising me. I whipped my head up, slamming it under the tap again. My face scrunched up as a searing pain flashed through my head.

"Oh, for fu -"

"Isla?"

My mouth snapped shut. Xeros knocked on the door in a brief panic, his concerned voice sounding through the door. My eyes widened as I rushed over to the mirror in a panic, immediately cringing away from my own reflection. Red, flushed and tear stained cheeks stared back at me. Using my hands, I tried to flatten down my fluffed-up hair, pulling out some of the more visible white chunks.

"Isla? Are you in there?"

His knocking grew more intense. I growled under my breath at his impatience. How was I supposed to look at him when I looked like this?

"Yeah, just give me a minute!" I called back in mild panic. I turned the tap on, splashing cold water on my face in hopes to calm down the redness. Sighing when there was no noticeable difference, I switched the tap off, trudging over to the door. Unlocking it, I poked a fraction of my head out to see Xeros worriedly pacing around.

His head whipped up when he heard the door creak open. His warm eyes landed on mine, scanning over my face. His face creased in concern. "Isla! Are you okay?"

I shrugged my shoulders, trying to play it off. "Yeah, I'm fine. I mean I stink, but besides that, I'm alright."

He shot me a disbelieving look. "Isla..."

I smiled brightly at him, despite feeling tears sting my eyes. "Don't worry, Xeros. I'll be out in a few minutes."

"Wait, Isla -" His hand came up against the door as I went to shut it. "Come on, at least let me take you home."

I shook my head. "It's fine -"

Xeros shook his head defiantly as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, a red blush rising up his neck. "Please? It's just I feel awful because I'm the one who forced you to come have lunch with me..."

I sighed heavily, "Don't feel bad, Xeros, I wanted to come with you, so I did. End of story."

"If it makes you feel any better, I dumped a bowl of lasagna on the chipmunk girl," He suggested, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "It's a shame you missed it."

I gaped at him in shock. "You did what?"

Xeros shrugged his shoulders carelessly. "She deserved it, and more. I was going to actually smash the cream pie in her face too, but I...Well, I was worried about you." He admitted bashfully.

I could feel my cheeks turning red. I ducked my head in hopes he hadn't noticed. "Oh." I shyly muttered.

"Come on, I'll just take you home. No matter how many times you try and wash it out under the sink, the smell won't leave. Besides, you'll be uncomfortable all day."

I felt myself freeze. He wanted to drop me home? Home, home? If that meant he would see where I lived, and potentially my Father drunkenly shouting on the streets, there was no way I was accepting a lift from him.

I plastered a polite smile on my face, declining his offer. "Thank you for offering, but I'll go home myself later."

"What?" His brows furrowed in confusion. "No, come on, Isla. Your hair and clothes are destroyed. There's no way you can be comfortable like that -"

"No, no!" I let out a forced laugh, waving him of. "Don't worry about it! I'm actually extremely comfortable right now."

"Nope." He defiantly shook his head. "Come on out. I'm taking you home."

I opened my mouth to argue before he gently took a hold of me by the arm, pulling me out from behind the bathroom door.

I struggled in his hold, looking at him in shock. "Wait, wait! Xeros, hold on -"

He shook his head, pretending not to listen to me. "Sorry, I can't hear you."

I scoffed. "Liar. You can hear me perfectly fine."

He shot me a teasing smirk over his shoulder. "What was that?"

I shoved his shoulder lightly with my free hand. "Jerk." I muttered.

I looked down at his hand that was wrapped around my elbow. I couldn't stop the smile that tugged at my lips. Small tingling sparks shot up my arm, goosebumps rising on my skin.

"Hop in."

I blinked, not even realizing we were standing in front of his car. When had we got here? How long had I been creepily smiling at his arm?

I smiled awkwardly, slowly pulling my arm out of his hold. "Right. I should get in."

I opened the car door, sliding in while he rounded the car. Hopping in, he turned to me with a friendly expression.

"Just tell me the address. I'll type it into my phone," He blushed. "I should have told you before. I'm not so great at directions."

"My address?" I echoed, mild panic coming through my tone.

He shot me a confused look, nodding his head. "Well, you know, I kind of need it to bring you home..."

"Uh..." I trailed off, biting my lip. "Right. My address. Of course, I'll give it to you."

Xeros nodded his head slowly, looking at me in expectation.

"Where I live is - Uh, so my address is..." I stumbled over my words, struggling to form a coherent sentence. Xeros watched silently for a moment before clearing his throat.

"How about I just take you to mine? You can shower there and I'm sure my sister has something that might fit you."

"Wait, y-your house?" I stuttered. "W-Why would we go there?"

"Well, we would go to yours, but you seem to have trouble remembering where you live, so..."

Biting the inside of my mouth, I relented. "No, it's not...J-Just drop me home...I live in Abbyfield Road." I muttered the last part quietly.

I turned my head away, unable to look at him. Did he think less of me because of where I lived? Abbyfield Road was known for the vast number of drug addicts, alcoholics, and in general, just dangerous people. It wasn't a street you would ever wander down alone at night.

He cleared his throat after a few awkward seconds of silence. "Okay. I know where that is, actually."

Did he regret being friends with me now? Why hadn't he said anything, besides okay? Was that I-never-want-to-see-you-again okay, or as in an I-don't-care okay?

I bit my lip, drawing blood. I didn't want the one person who had genuinely wanted to be my friend, to leave me. I thought we had been getting along great these past few weeks. Every time I saw him, I couldn't stop the small flip my heart seemed to do in my chest.

Xeros tapped his hands on the steering wheel, before speaking up. "You know, if you didn't want to tell me because you were embarrassed, I want you to know you shouldn't be -"

"W-Why would I be embarrassed?" I chuckled nervously, cutting him off. "Of course, I'm not."

"Isla..."

"Look, how about we just drop it?" I suggested brightly. "I don't really see why we have to talk about this."

He looked at me, but I kept my head turned. I knew if I did, he would see my flushed cheeks, and know I was lying. It wasn't particularly where I lived that I was ashamed of, but it had more to do with who I lived with.

Pursing his lips, Xeros heaved a sigh. "Sure. Whatever you want."

Xeros slowly pulled into the familiar street. The streetlamps lit the roads lightly but more than half of them were broken. He peered out the window as he came to a slow stop outside my home, the one which had the most damage done to the outside. The front path was cluttered in empty beer bottles, spilled bags of rubbish and broken furniture. The windows upstairs were broken; which caused a cold draft in my room. I shivered as I remembered that night clearly...Father had borrowed a large sum of money from one of his so-called 'friends,' but had no intention of paying him back. Sometime around three in the morning, the glass in my window shattered, the small shards sticking into my skin.

I cried out as a searing pain shot through my arm. I bolted upright in bed, seeing trails of blood seep down my arm and onto my covers. Small shards of glass stuck upright, tearing at my skin.

"Mom!" I yelled, a sob getting caught in my throat. "Mom!"

My bedroom door banged open as Mother stood in the doorway, a vicious glare on her face.

"What, Isla?" She snapped. "Can't you see we're all trying to fucking sleep?"

I lifted my arm up shakily, warm tears streaming down my face. "S-Someone broke the window," I whimpered, "A-And the glass..."

Mother stormed over, roughly grasping my arm. Her nails dug into the torn flesh. I let out a pained cry, ripping my arm away from her.

"It's fine," she insisted disinterestedly, "Just go to the bathroom and wash it off. You'll be fine."

"W-What?" I stuttered, "Mom, it hurts, please, just let me go to the hospital -"

"No!" she growled. Grabbing my chin, she forced me to look at her, "Do you want the police to start questioning us?"

"N-No," I whispered in a pained voice, "B-But -"

"Then keep your mouth shut!" she hissed, "Stop being such a brat and get over yourself! You're always overreacting."

"This is me," I said quietly.

"Right," he replied, shooting me a worried look, "Will you be okay from here?"

I plastered a smile on my face. I could see the concern shining through his eyes. My heart warmed at the sheer intensity he was looking at me.

"I'll be fine -"

A loud crash was heard outside, making us jump. Our heads whipped towards the sound. I shut my eyes in embarrassment as I saw the rough outline of my Father drunkenly stumbling along the footpath. I watched as he seemed to be muttering away to himself, shouting random things at the air.

"Do you know him?" Xeros questioned, keeping his eyes glued on him.

"Meet my Father," I whispered with a strained smile. "He's quite the delight, isn't he?"

Xeros looked at me with wide eyes, yet with no judgement. The only thing I seemed to be able to see was simple curiosity, "That's your Father?"

"You should go..." I sighed, ignoring his question, "Thank you for the ride."

I rolled my eyes discreetly as Father fell over at the front door. He struggled to grasp the door handle, eventually slipping on the ground. His eyes rolled in the back of his head, banging his head against the door.

He shot me a gentle smile, not noticing, "Do you want any help -"

"No, I just want you to go, Xeros!" I finally snapped in exasperation, "Stop offering to help me with everything!"

He blinked innocently. "I-I'm only trying to help, Isla -"

"Well, do I look like I want your help?" I retorted harshly, "I don't. So, please, just leave."

He fell silent for a few seconds, a look of hurt crossing his face. He pursed his lips, before forcing a smile on his face, "Okay. I'll leave now."

I unclicked my seat belt, sharply nodding my head, "Bye, Xeros."

I pushed the door open, slamming it shut behind me. He didn't leave as he watched me walk up to my door towards my Father. I heaved a heavy sigh as I approached. He was mumbling incoherently under his breath, his eyes flickering open and close every few seconds. I bent down to his level, peering at him.

"Can you stand?"

When he didn't respond, I gritted my teeth. Looking over my shoulder, Xeros began to pull out of our driveway. A guilty feeling settled inside of me at the way I snapped at him. It wasn't him I was frustrated with. After being humiliated in front of everyone, to him getting a glimpse of the kind of family I had...I was ashamed.

"Come on then," I sighed, looping my arms around his shoulders. Heaving him up, I staggered forward as his lent his entire weight on me.

"Jesus," I grumbled, my hand shooting out to steady myself, "Why do you weigh so much?"

While there was nothing more I'd rather do than dump him out here for the night, I didn't have it in me to do so. I pulled out the key from my pocket, struggling to slide it into the lock. As soon as the door swung open, I pulled him inside, dropping him on the floor with a loud thud.

I looked down at my Father while he slept in a heap on the floor. He had an almost calm face while he dreamt. Gone was his usual scowl and angry expression. He almost looked...normal.

"Isla?"

My head snapped up to see Devin clutching the banister with his small hands. He rubbed his eyes sleepily as he looked down at Father.

"What's up, bud?" I whispered quietly, smiling softly at my little brother, "What are you doing out of bed? You're supposed to be resting."

"Mother had some guys over so I couldn't sleep," he mumbled with a small lisp.

I raised my eyebrows, "She what?"

My mouth slackened. I never had a high opinion of Mother - she didn't particularly care about her two children. She tried to stay out at nightclubs for as long as she could so she wouldn't have to come home and deal with reality. It had never crossed my mind that Mother would be cheating on Father; although it shouldn't have surprised me with how often she was out.

"I locked the door like you told me to," he said, "But they were still very loud..."

I clenched my jaw, climbing up the stairs. I reached the top of the landing, and bent down to Devin's level. I pushed his hair back gently, looking at the healing wound.

"How do you feel?" I asked softly, "Does it still hurt?"

He shook his head, shooting me a toothy smile, "No, I'm all better now!"

I couldn't help feel emotional as he smiled at me. While his smile was blinding, his eyes held a sadness no ten-year-old should ever know about.

"Come on then," I heaved a sigh. Holding his hand, I tugged on it gently, "Let's get you back to bed. You're back to school tomorrow, so I want you all better, okay?"

Devin nodded his head enthusiastically, "Okay Isla."

As I tucked him into bed, covering him tightly with my own covers so he wouldn't catch a cold, I watched as his eyes fluttered shut in tiredness. My parents had never done much for me, but the greatest gift they ever gave me in seventeen years was Devin. We stuck together, because siblings didn't let each other wander alone in the dark. Devin was my light in the dark. He lit the way, showing me there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

So, Mother and Father, while you failed me on every other aspect on being a parent, I thanked you every day for giving me my little brother.

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