章 1: *Spoilers*
It was an average October day, where Rick Sanchez was cooped up in the Smith family's garage as he usually was. Instead of inventing or tinkering, however, the genius, dimension-hopping scientist was seated at a desktop computer, patiently refreshing the web page that he was on every few seconds.
"H-hey Rick," Morty Smith, Rick's yellow-shirted teen grandson greeted as he walked into the garage. "We uh, we haven't gone on any adventures in a while. What do you say we portal off somewhere, or maybe you can turn yourself into another inanimate object?"
"Not now, Morty, One Piece spoilers are dropping within the hour," Rick replied as he refreshed the web page again. "It's going to be a good one, Morty, I can feel it. Oh what the hell, who am I kidding? GODA is going to deliver as usual."
"Aw geez, Rick, what's the point of reading spoilers? I-I mean isn't it better to just wait for the chapter to come out?" Morty argued, scratching the back of his head. "I just think it's more rewarding to read the chapter in full instead of going off of a summarized description beforehand."
"And what would a filthy casual Naruto fan like yourself know about quality chapters, Morty?" Rick chided him, not looking up from the screen. "True nakama like me will suckle onto any chapter information the moment it comes out! Oda's pencil is the golden tit that all true fans want to suck, Morty."
"A-actually Rick, I'm a Boruto fan," the young man chuckled nervously. "Never really got into Naruto like that. Boruto is quality anime though, I love it for its deep plots and fleshed-out characters."
This sentence finally got Rick to look up from his computer.
"Morty you disgusting, filthy casual!" the scientist barked angrily. "Boruto is already the anime equivalent of store-brand diet ginger ale, but the fact that you had the sheer audacity to claim that it has a shred of non-bullshit plot makes it two words away from a crime against humanity."
"I like it. I find it well-written and a huge improvement over its predecessor," Morty continued to argue. "But anyway, why are you even wasting your time sitting here waiting for spoilers? Why don't you just go to a reality where the chapter is already out? Or better yet, a dimension where One Piece is already finished?"
That did it. His eye twitching, Rick stood up from his desk and turned to shoot a piercing glare at his grandson.
"What did you just say to me, you little fuck?"
"Why don't you just go to a dimension where—
"Because, Morty, I am a true One Piece fan with integrity. I can't just portal into a reality where such a complex magnum opus is already finished," Rick explained, fighting extreme rage. "And that's beside the point. One Piece can be different in other universes. L-like this one Rick that I met claims that Hitler is on Luffy's crew in the One Piece in his reality. I need to see my One Piece through to its conclusion but again, I don't understand a shitty, uncultured BORUTO fan like yourself to understand."
"Fine, geez, it was just a suggestion," the boy sighed with defeat. "So I guess no more adventures until after the chapter comes out?"
"Christ, you're needier than Boa Hancock during the Impel Down arc," Rick scoffed as he pulled out his portal gun and shot a green vortex into the garage wall. "Here, go on you own adventure. This portal goes to a reality where every woman on Earth is sexy, horny, and has chronic flatulence."
"H-have you been spying on the porn I watch again?" Morty stammered.
"There are many things more shameful than fart porn, Morty, now get out of here, I'll bring you back once the chapter comes out," the scientist grunted with a dismissive wave.
Morty looked to the portal, and then back to his grandfather. After a few moments, he gingerly began to step towards it before disappearing into the green vortex.
"Hahaha that's what I thought, you little scallywag," Rick chuckled to himself as he sat back down and continued waiting for the chapter spoilers. "Come on, Redon, hurry up already man…"
Rick Sanchez was one of the biggest One Piece fans in the universe. His universe, at least. Far from the Rick featured in the titular TV show, this was Rick Sanchez from dimension D-3D2Y, or as the Ricks across the multiverse called him, "One Piece fan Rick". While his contemporaries busied themselves with weapons dealings, toppling the galactic government, or fornicating with entire planets, this Rick's primary concern was staying up to date with his favorite manga.
"Oh fuck yeah, here we go!" Rick exclaimed as the live spoiler page that he was on finally updated, where he then eagerly read through the brief summary before sitting back in his chair. "Oh man, oh shit. This chapter is going to be a banger."
Like a true addict, this bump in new One Piece content wasn't enough to satisfy Rick. He yearned to read the chapter in its entirety. Looking down at his portal gun, he'd admittedly been tempted to do exactly as Morty had suggested several times. While One Piece sometimes varied depending on the universe, Rick was certain that there was a universe where Oda's famous pirate manga was nearly, if not fully identical to the version in his own dimension. It would take much trial and error to find it, however, and the true fan did not want to sully his impression of the masterful story by gazing upon varying versions.
"Wait…I know what I can do while I wait for the full chapter to come out," Rick said out loud with a snap of his fingers. "Infinite universes, duh-doi. There's obviously a reality where the world of One Piece is real! What better way to pass the time than to rub elbows with the real Straw Hat pirates themselves?"
Hooking his portal gun up to his computer, Rick cycled through several holographic menu screens and began to input coordinates into the dimension-hopping device that were based on his downloaded volumes of One Piece. To his joy, the portal gun found a lock on a universe that matched the version of One Piece from his universe.
"Hey uh, Rick?" Jerry Smith asked as he walked into the garage. "I've been watching a lot of Pokémon lately and…okay, I'm just going to be honest and ask. Can you please send me to a reality where Pokémon is real?"
"What season of Pokémon we talking about, Jerry?" Rick asked with feign interest.
"Orange Islands, of course," his dimwit son in law beamed. "I mean Ash was at his most competent in my opinion, and—
"Solid season, Jerry, you have my slightest respect," Rick replied as he shot a portal into the nearby wall. "As a reward for not saying 'advanced challenge', I'm sending you to the ravenous, horny futa dimension. A universe of 8 billion extremely-horny dick-chicks await!"
"W-what? If you're basing this on the porn history on my computer, you've got it all wrong!" Jerry cried as Rick began to push him towards the green portal. "Beth is into this stuff, not me! Send me to the inflation dimension if anything, I—
"Don't be such a prude, be open minded," the scientist smirked as his son in law disappeared into the vortex, which then vanished itself a second later. "Now, to wait for the next chapter of the greatest piece of fiction in the whole universe with the coolest pirate crew ever conceived by man!"
Shooting another portal, this time linking him to the intended One Piece reality, Rick happily stepped through, ready to take along his hopes and dreams.
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