章 190: Chapter 46
The only way to forget this nightmare is through drugs, alcohol, and the warmth of someone else's body. But when a liked shinobi dies on the next mission, the sight of alcohol makes you nauseous, and smoking grass from Kusagakure is like signing your own death warrant. All that's left is to lie there, staring blankly at the ceiling of the assigned tent and dreaming of a swift end. Many can't handle it and break down, turning into soulless dolls who don't care whom they kill.
Such individuals either die soon or, having survived the ordeal of war, lose the will to live. Cases of suicide are not uncommon. Those who have lost loved ones burn with a thirst for revenge, and then drown their bitterness in drink. War leaves its mark on everyone, whether it's a green chunin or a veteran jonin. But worst of all is the moment when you realize that gradually, you just stop caring...
Linley continued to speak for a long time in a hollow voice, describing what war is like, and all I could do was hold her tighter against me and listen, allowing her to vent. There were no tears, but with some sixth sense, I felt that with each word she let out, Senju became lighter. And when she poured out everything accumulated on her soul, she would transform back into the cheerful, lively Linley who I had liked so much long ago.
Perhaps that's why Konoha sees so many eccentrics like Gai and Kakashi after three wars—when there's no one to share your burdens with, it's another way to keep from going insane or coping with losses. Damn ninjas and their secrecy! What's needed here are not self-taught folks like me, but professional psychologists! At least now I understand a bit more why many shinobi prefer to have acquaintances in their environment rather than close friends—it's easier to endure their deaths.
Anyway, the clone went home, and I stayed with Linley. Naturally, there was no talk of anything improper—we just slept in the same bed, and I had to play the role of both a teddy bear and a hot water bottle. As my friend later admitted, it was the first day after returning to the village when her nightmares didn't torment her, and she managed to get a decent night's sleep.
***
Glancing at the small playground in front of the shabby gray two-story building, I chuckled—once again, the children were playing ninja war games. To not disturb them, I jumped onto a branch and in a few leaps across the treetops, which grew literally everywhere in the village, I reached the entrance to the shelter.
I found myself in such an establishment not without purpose—I came to make a donation. Of course, it wasn't like I suddenly decided to do charity. No, it all started with a chance encounter with a couple of youngsters who had overexerted themselves a bit in their play and fell right into my path, quite bruised and scratched.
At that moment, feeling quite generous after a visit to the Senju district, I treated their injuries and even escorted them home, from where two four-year-old boys promptly fled. Naturally, I didn't expect it to be a shelter. But recalling my own chances of becoming an orphan, I began occasionally visiting the kids and bringing them toys. After some time, I started donating money to provide for the children, once I was convinced of the management's integrity.
The reason for this action is quite simple, besides the obvious pity for children who have been deprived by fate—village shelters mainly house rejects or those who have lost both parents. That is, the children of ordinary shinobi. Orphans of regular villagers usually find their way to relatives or remain under the care of the merchant guild if their parents were merchants. Given the extremely meager funding of all three existing shelters in general, and especially during wartime, staff and wards barely have enough for food, and only small donations from sympathizers allow such establishments to exist.
Granted, my motives weren't entirely altruistic either. Just remember the number of talented orphans who joined Konoha's forces, aiming to try and improve the lives of future shinobi and kunoichi, remaining in their memory as a benefactor. And what's there to hide—there are likely to be personalities appearing in these establishments in the coming years whom I didn't want to see left to fend for themselves, with all the canonical consequences. Off the top of my head, I can name several names—Anko, Kabuto, Nono. And these are just a few of the talented individuals who it would be highly desirable to recruit to my clan or at least to the Nara clan.
I've got more interesting stuff on patreon (up to 120 chapter)
patreon.com/Chill76
週次パワーステータス
-- 推薦
ランキング 
-- 推薦
チケット