章 57: Chapter 4.5 Original Fang Xing
Hei JianAn looked at Fang Xing's life in the book and felt so … fucking angry and speechless.
Fang Xing didn't have a two-parent family as other kids do. Being a beta is great in all but he was an omega, he went to a school that is for beta's. He wasn't strong as omega has a physically weak body. Two reasons he was bullied were that he has only one parent and that he was too weak to fight back. Even more so when he wouldn't tell adults anything. If he did, the situation would have been different.
He was so young but he got social anxiety. If anyone looks at him for a long time he would get scared. If anyone talked to him, he would run away. As he slowly went deaf, he couldn't hear any more talking, and he was happy about it too.
At this point, Hei JianAn wanted to smack some sense into that kid. What the Fuck are you happy about being deaf. And all of this could've been avoided if you told your mother!
Fang Xing was a bright and sensible child, but wasn't sociable, he was afraid of making trouble for his mother… it restrain him.
He heard other children saying that his mother would abandon him, because he was useless and weak..
Afraid that if she found out, she would abandon him, afraid that if she knew, he would make her angry.
Fang Rong, his mother. She is a strong woman. An Alpha, she worked as a soldier, so she isn't there for him most of the time. When she is there, he is afraid to bother her with his things. He knows that her work is tiring, he thinks that a good boy wouldn't whine to his mother for such things. After all, he is a boy, as a son she could be happy with and rely on when she grows old.
He got beaten up again and again but this time he couldn't hold on. And if he did, his life wouldn't be any better. He got transferred to a different school, his hearing was already bad and got to the point he couldn't hear anyone talking. When his mother found out, she hugged Fang Xing who didn't know that it was a bad thing, and cried. She apologized that She didn't find out before.
But he couldn't hear what his mother was saying while crying, only got worried and more scared. Questioning why his mother was crying, he couldn't understand.
Then when he got into a private high school for cooking, he had already had hard times expressing his emotions. Having the female lead yap and bark at him now and then made him look bad and colder. Students started to avoid him, and lots of gossip from the Female protagonist made him someone he was not. He got depression because of the loneliness
Then he found out that he won the award, he was so excited, he wanted to make his mother proud, he stayed up all night and on the way to school he got kidnapped. He didn't understand why he got kidnapped but he wanted to escape. His heat and 'of age' just came at the worst time possible.
As he was going to be raped. He kicked that man with all his strength on his crotch and jumped out the window. The window was closed but he crashed into it and broke the window. Crashing down to his death. Anything is better than being raped. He thought as he fell to his death.
His last words at that moment were "I'm sorry.. mother." He smiled as he fell.
Hei JianAn who was in his memories and frowned.
- Then a memory flashes before Hei JianAn's mind.
Fang Xing wanted to make his mother happy, a proud mother who has a great son. Even though she wasn't there for him all the time.
His grandpa once told him that his mother had fallen in love with someone who was already engaged with someone else. So she gives up on her love life, but she wants a child for him, and he wanted a grandchild too, so he was born.
"But when she saw you, she was brought back to life. She visits every week to see you when you were Incubating in the cabin. She wanted to name you Xing(star) but she wrote xing(apricot) instead. She said that you are our star. No matter what your name is. My Xiao Xing… you were her spark of life. Our little star…." Said his grandpa with the gentlest smile.
Fang Xing tilted his head. He didn't understand that time but kept it inside his head.
His grandpa was a gentle beta, and was an apprentice chef, but because he got injured when saving someone. He couldn't hold a knife anymore, he passed down his dream to his mother, for hope that she would be a great cook, but because his mother is a kitchen killer, she wouldn't realize grandpa's wish. She grew up wanting to do something to make grandpa happy, when he wished to have a grandchild, she did so in hopes that her child would attain hers and grandpa's wish of having a great chef in their family.
Grandpa said " I don't want you to be a chef if you don't wish so, I just wanted someone… with my blood, to become a great chef, they don't have to be four or five star chefs. They just needed to be a great chef… someone who I can pass down the family book to."
His mother also said. "You can be whatever you want to be, I just want you to be happy with whatever you choose and don't give up."
They are proud to be his family, even if he isn't anything, he wanted them to be proud of him, even if it takes his whole life to do so. Fang Xing promised himself.
Grandpa always talks to him, so he isn't lonely, he talks a lot. When Fang Xing asked about his mother, grandpa would reply with the truth even if he didn't understand.
"She became a soldier so that she can earn enough for our Xiao Xing's future college fee. But she found out that it was a job she loved now, she always says that you'll be our lucky star. And I'm sure our little lucky star will shine brighter than anyone else." Smiled at his grandpa, gently held his small hand, and laughed.
In a house full of over frown coneflower shaking with the wind. Bells ringing gently as the wind smells as sweet as vanilla.
Fang Xing, who was just 3 years old but remembers those words until the day he died.
- My name Xing means apricot. It can also mean precocious, but my nickname meant Star. My family's little star.
A star that will shine brighter than anyone else's.-
He said to himself in silence.
Because he was a star in his family. He wanted to make them proud. But his fate was sealed the day the novel was written. A little star that will burn out before he gets to shine.
A gentle coneflower that has strength and was willing to heal the world with his light was stomped by the realities of the world.
A world controlled by a book in the author's hand.
クリエイターの想い 
FlyingCat_mei
FlyingCat_mei Just saying, I'm emotional... Yes. I cried while writing this.
I hoped that if this was real, Xiao Xing will have a happy life in his next life. ( T-T)
I tagged this book, come and support me with a thumbs up!