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Primordial System オリジナル

Primordial System

Fantasy 85 章 1.6M ビュー
作者: Damass13

4.34 (61 レビュー結果)

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概要

Story of a orphan girl after death, Read as she reincarnates in a world of cultivation and has a system with her to cheat her way through.
(First story I’ve ever written if you guys have any feedback good or bad please leave it in the comments to improve my future writing.)

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61レビュー

4.34

  • 翻訳品質
  • アップデートの安定性
  • ストーリー展開
  • キャラクターデザイン
  • 世界の背景

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Dragon_Winchester

I am the exp of my God King Sword. webnovel is my body, and exp is my blood. I have created over a thousand useless reviews. Unknown to death, nor known to life. Have withstood pain to create many reviews. Yet, those hands will never hold anything. So, as I pray...Unlimited Exp Works!.

4yr
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Tsubasa93

This novel is atrociously bad. A mishmash of contradictions and tropes. First she's a blind orphan that hates men due to almost being raped, thus becoming lesbian. She somehow becomes a top doctor, while being blind. Then for some random-ass reason she becomes a neet and starts reading a bunch of novels. She then dies due to God's mistake. God looks like a handsome man and decides to reincarnate her. God then adopts her for some reason and she's fine with it. Then MC calls God as 'daddy'. I just dropped the novel at this point.

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4yr
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pan39
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Great novel ░▄▀▄▀▀▀▀▄▀▄░░░░░░░░░ ░█░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░▄░ █░░▀░░▀░░░░░▀▄▄░░█░█ █░▄░█▀░▄░░░░░░░▀▀░░█ █░░▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░█░░▄▄░░▄▄▄▄░░▄▄░░█░ ░█░▄▀█░▄▀░░█░▄▀█░▄▀░ ░░▀░░░▀░░░░░▀░░░▀░░░

4yr
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Damass13

Hello Author here just posting to get peoples feedback please reply under this review if you have any tips or things you’d like me to improve. Thanks P.S.Shameless Rating but you know the Grind so just got to do it.

4yr
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PloufPlouf

I just copy Tsubasa93 perfect rewiew : "This novel is atrociously bad. A mishmash of contradictions and tropes. First she's a blind orphan that hates men due to almost being raped, thus becoming lesbian. She somehow becomes a top doctor, while being blind. Then for some random-ass reason she becomes a neet and starts reading a bunch of novels. She then dies due to God's mistake. God looks like a handsome man and decides to reincarnate her. God then adopts her for some reason and she's fine with it. Then MC calls God as 'daddy'. I just dropped the novel at this point."

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4yr
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AgelessSprite

Idk how this novel became one of my favs its not even 100chaps yet. My very first YURI novel to read damn its so cool fkfkfkfkffkfk so fken gud i will spend all of my SS if this becomes premuun

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4yr
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Sphook
LV 10 Badge

This novel is horrendous.. just the prologue and it's already full of plotholes and contradiction... Just read Tsubasa's review for more details.. I'm scoring this 1 because it does not deserve it's current rating.. just read the prologue and see for yourself how bad this is.. if you still fine with that then I dont know what to say..

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4yr
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zZCandyZz

Thk for updating. Pls update soon T-T!! Cant wait to read next chapter... .................................................................................................

4yr
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Peryite

Why haven’t you updated 😭 its been a year.................................................................................................. This is a good noval!

3yr
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reboot23

this novel seriously needs to be rewritten. Everything except the character design and story development is actual crap mostly the writing quality, I had to stop for couple seconds to figure out what l just read. At the start of the novel has absolutely no logic, l mean how the hell can a blind person be a surgeon. .come on man if your going to write a novel ..do it properly. I don't know much about the update stability but so far l think it's fine.

3yr
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Grimace

Read Tsubasa93's review! also, I'm pretty sure this story has been dropped. Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space-Filling up space

3yr
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Shy_Guy_01

I initially wrote a review for this novel saying how bad the grammar was and the repeated unwanted references to naruto at the beginning of the book. However I continued to read until the end and found that it did get much better then what it was in the first 15-20 chapters as that’s about when the author improves his/her writing and stops the unwanted references which made me more then just happy as it actually became a decent story. So for anyone that is about to pick this novel up, here is what I recommend: read up to about chapter 30, if you still don’t like it then drop it; ignore the author’s fetish as it is very apparent in this novel and in his other novel (I don’t recommend it, it literally is just nanomancer reborn except the mc is much more bloodthirsty, has less personality and also conforms to the authors fetish and that was only in the first 5 chapters that I found it, right after I found out I dropped it). If you are able to pass these, then you should be able to enjoy this novel so good luck 😁

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4yr
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novels1994

Great novel! Great story! Hope you continue writing it its better than most ive read so far keep up the great work authur-san.

4yr
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AreUSirius

This is a very good story although it seems a bit rushed at the beginning and the mc acts like a ultra horny teenager. I’m looking forward to seeing where the story goes and I pray it doesn’t get dropped but seeing how it hasn’t updated in nearly a month (at the time of writing this) I can only hope that the author continues to improve and continue the story and their writing. 😁 P.s. Author if you do read this don’t listen to those jack offs who try to tell you that your story is trash or terrible in all honesty this novel is great though I won’t act like it’s perfect and that there is nothing to improve either. 😉

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4yr
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AreUSirius

Good novel with a couple of grammatical errors but besides that it’s great! Get past the first few chapters and the pacing of the story will get better you don’t see many yuri cultivation novels let alone ones that have a harem in them which I find refreshing. (Not a serious cultivation novel but still has an in-depth cultivation world though it isn’t the highlight of the story)

4yr
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Winterseele

I am sorry to write this, since actually I looked forward to this story. Unfortunately after 30 chapters I still don't feel that the FL... earned anything by her own efforts. Nothing at all. There is a whole cultivation system, but she just jumps through it, as if... It wasn't there. And it may as well but be - there wouldn't be much difference to the story. Be it abilities, companions, stats - not even the relationships or, in this manner, the sex feel rewarding. Yeah, well, without any built up moments... I just can not recommend this book. It may as well be a diary about a lesbian, who got everything she wished for (and didn't even think of), while everyone she meets feels the urge to worship, f*ck her or be jealous of her natural gifts. The relationships themselves feel like a wet dream of somebody, who only sees breastsize, hourglass-figure - and not p*ssy. Not much else. Now, there ARE some innovative moments, which led me to hope for better times and I might still read some more chapters for better or worse, but at this point my expectations are pretty much gone and I feel sad for... What I feel: wasted potential. With a little bit of love for detail, taking time in building up...pretty much *anything* in this story - this might be a much better book. Anyways, don't feel too let down, author. If you read this, please know that I took this much time to review, because I care and see potential. Get over it, work on your shortcomings, and I would love to read another book of yours. Oh - and one more suggestion: use grammarly. It's free and a big help if you are not a native speaker.

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4yr
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Oydjayvagr

This is not what it seems from the description and tags. The story has some serious problems related to logic and continuity. Maybe it would be better to add to the description how many references to "naruto" and other things like that are thrown around. That said, I like the general concept and a lot of people seem to like it. But please, add to the description or the tags something that explain your inclination of taking things from Naruto, it's quite unexpected to find it that way and somewhat annoying considering how widespread and integrated in the story are those things

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4yr
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mojag0018

I'm sorry I tried reading your novel as it was interesting, but to be honest with you I've read machine translated novels better than this. I feel like i have dyslexia when reading this. It has the potential but seriously you need to use grammarly along with having an editor. This story could go far but it needs a lot more added to it before that happens.

4yr
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Baz_enga

I love the story. Its interesting Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood book Why the **** do I have to do 140 xters .

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4yr
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AgelessSprite

The very first yuri novel I like goddamn it its so good but sadly the chapters are short but who cares quantity over quality. Thank you author for unlocking me new possibilities of reading other YURI novel :D

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4yr
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作者 Damass13