章 1: I'm (Not) Dead
Being dead is boring.
Being dead is boring.
Who knew?
Just laying underground, inside of a coffin, waiting for nothing to happen, nothing going on in your empty mind.
It's almost like not being alive.
Because you're not.
I won't get into how I died, because It's not important.
But I will get into why I'm no longer dead.
Two Words: Zombie Apocalypse.
Everything looks different, my town has a different name, my skin is grey, and my breath probably smells horrible.
I wouldn't actually know, My nose fell off.It's also the only part of me that fell off when I exited the grave. My brain is still in my head, my fingers are all there, even my eyes and ears.
My teeth are weird but I'm sure a visit to the dentist should fix them up.
But my nose.
I'm gonna miss Schnoz.
Hopefully, he's in a better place.
"Hey, you! Why aren't you joining the march?!" A shrill voice yelled, and I could almost imagine it was talking to me.
"Are you even listening?!" What a terrible fate, to be unable to smell.
"Hello?????" How tragic.
"You!" I felt a smack on my back, turning around quickly I spot a short bald man with a humongous head. Guy really took the word "Big Brain" to heart.
"Can I help you?" I ask, which seems to surprise him immensely.
"You can speak normally?!" He asks/yells in his shrill tone of voice, eliciting a wince in response.
"I mean, yeah? My nose fell off, but my throat feels fine. Probably, I'm kinda new to this whole Undead business." I responded, still thinking about how I may never smell again.
"How interesting... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" The guys laughs hysterically before pointing a finger at me. "Don't move from this spot, you work for me now!"
I nod my head and sit down on the ground, watching as the short guy starts walking away, muttering to himself all the while.
"Huh, So that just happened."
クリエイターの想い 
Netapel
Netapel This story is a full-on crackfic and should not be taken seriously.
Characters will act in ways that are stupid, characters will suddenly change appearance for a joke, nobody is smart, everybody is stupid, including MC.
Especially the MC.
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