章 1: Chapter 1
Chapter 1: From Office Worker to Vampire Battle Assassin
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Well, this is it.
It's been, what, three years since I started playing with those guys? My perception of time is convoluted as always, and my eyelids seem to want to close on their own. I wanted to sleep early because I still have work to do tomorrow, I don't want boss chewing me out again.
23:56:00
It's been about thirty minutes or so since Herohero left the game, leaving me and Momonga to be the only ones inside the Tomb. I thought about how much money I spent on this game that I absolutely loved, and that if I had another chance, I would do all this all over again. Not quitting the game because of the repeated PKing from people was hard, but once I leveled up enough, I took on the Ninja class and started PKing people who repeatedly PKed me and other non-humans, although it hurt my budget to continuously do so. The satisfaction that I felt from doing that was immense.
I then heard of a famous guild called Ainz Ooal Gown, a guild filled with non-human PVP/PKers that fight against those who discriminate against non-humans. However, there were two things that are required of you: One, is that you are a productive member of the society, and two, you must have a non-human character. Since I fulfilled both of those conditions, it was now up to their leader, Momonga, to approve of me joining the guild or not. The vote was a close call, with 49% disagreeing and 51% agreeing. And so, I have made my way inside the monstrous guild that is Ains Ooal Gown.
Their treatment of me was nice, although some people were slightly miffed that I joined. I was, after all, a True Vampire whose appearance did not differ that much from a human apart from the fact that my skin color is pale tinged with soft blue.
The next two years that followed was one of the most fun times of my gaming life. I PKed with Peroroncino, Herohero, Chagama, Touch Me (which is an oddest name in the group to be perfectly honest), Momonga, and the others. Raiding the Great Tomb of Nazarick was mighty fun, though my healing supplies and gold nearly ran out. It was a first try success, and I didn't even die once. As a reward, Momonga got a fancy throne to sit his bony posterior upon. As for us, we made our own NPCs and started to work on a super-secret project for fun. I nearly lost my job because my work was barely passable, but after so much suffering, we completed the Staff of Ains Ooal Gown, which only Momonga can use. It's shape is of a jagged staff, splitting into three branches, one which sticks out and cut off, and connects to the staff head which has seven—was it seven?— heads of snakes with magic crystals on their mouths. To lose this staff is to disband Ainz Ooal Gown, so it was kept safe at the Eighth Floor instead of using it actively.
Today is the day— well, night now— that YGGDRASIL is gonna close. At exactly 24:00, or a.m.12:00. Momon is actually still here, probably to see off the game he enjoyed so dearly. Meanwhile, I'm at the First Floor, near the entrance, sitting on the floor along with three of my created NPCs: Lust, who is a succubus, Sloth, who is a doppelganger, and Wrath, who is an automaton. I made them in the image of the Pleiades Battle Maids, but loyal to me first and second to Nazarick. I consider myself loyal to Nazarick, because without them, I would've quit the game out of boredom.
23:58:30
One minute and thirty seconds left, what a long, long journey, and now it has brought us here. I wonder if I will ever meet our guild members?
"Oi Momonga, are you still there?"
"M-Mercury-san? You're still here?"
"Yes, I'm still here, otherwise I wouldn't be talking to you now, would I?"
"Ahaha, your sarcasm still makes me laugh. I'm gonna miss that once the game is shut down."
"Ah, well, I guess the chances of us meeting are low, since I don't live in Japan."
"Wait, you weren't Japanese, Mercury-san?"
"I'm not, did you forget? I'm not Asian. I guess the system translates our words automatically, huh?"
"The developers of this game are amazing, right?"
"Yeah."
23:59:40
"... Are you staying here until the servers shut down?"
"Yeah, how about you?"
"Same. Without you guys, I think I would've quit long ago after PKing so many times. Thanks for the experiences, Momonga."
"Same to you, Mercury-san. Goodbye."
23:59:58
"Goodbye."
00:00:00
00:00:01
... what?
I opened my eyes, seeing the familiar walls of Nazarick staring right back at me.
The game should've shut down and kicked me out, but what is this?
I looked around, seeing the familiar corridor of the Tomb's First Floor. I also see Wrath, Lust, and Sloth staring right at me. I furrowed my eyebrows, thinking if they extended the deadline of the shutdown of the servers. I tried to access the console, to no avail. Game-breaking bug confirmed.
I tried to contact the GM, or the Admins, but it looks like I can't access them as well. Another game-breaking bug confirmed.
Just what is going on in this game?
Before I get any more angry, I receive some static, before realizing that I had mentally connected with Momonga.
"Momonga, dude, can you contact the GM's? The console isn't working!"
"Same here on my end, Mercury-san. I can't contact the GMs and Admins!"
What shenanigans are happening here?
"Anyway, do you know what's going on here?"
"I don't know, but we have to find out."
"I'm gonna do just that. Talk to you later, bonehead."
"Same to you, Shiragiku(It means "White Chrysanthemums")."
After I cut the connection, I noticed my three NPC's looking at me strangely.
"Why are you talking to yourself, Mercury-sama?"
"I'm not talking to myself, you idiot, I was talking to Momonga."
Exactly after I finished talking to Lust, I realized that she was talking. NPC's aren't supposed to talk, what?!
"A-Ah! I apologize for my impudence, Mercury-sama! I didn't know that you were talking to Momonga-sama! Please do not sentence me to tank duty again!"
Wah?! She talked again!
"Too bad, Lust! Looks like Mercury-sama is going to do exactly just that!"
Now Wrath is talking! What is going on?!
"Oh, at least I can tank better than you, you muscles-for-brains!"
"Aren't you one to talk, booby monster!"
"Ah, at least I'm more gifted than your sad excuse of a chest!"
"Keep saying things about my chest and I'll put you six feet under myself!"
They're bickering now! What shenanigans are at play here?
"Why are you making a fuss in front of our beloved Mercury-sama? Do you both have no shame?"
Even Sloth?! What is happening here?
"Wha-?! I-I'm sorry for my impudence, Mercury-sama!"
"Please forgive this one's impudence, Mercury-sama!"
The two bickering ladies bowed their heads before me. My brows knitted even further to show my confusion, although it's not obvious because I'm wearing a helmet. Speaking of which, I can see perfectly even with this thing on.
Back to the matter at hand, I looked upon the two girls who are now prostrating themselves in front of me. My brain must be malfunctioning because of the lack of sleep, and that's mildly concerning.
"Raise your head, you two."
They did so, and I stood up, revealing my stature of 5"10'. They looked at me with reverence and loyalty in their eyes. What did I do to receive such invaluable praise from these three?
"Wrath and Lust, you may bicker as much as you want whenever I'm not around, so I'm letting you off lightly this time around. Make sure this doesn't happen again."
"Y-Yes my lord!"
"Y-Yes my lord!"
It looks like the situation between these two have calmed down. Meanwhile, I heard footsteps coming from deeper in the Tomb. Since there couldn't be anybody else there except a friendly, I lowered my guard. The figure revealed himself to be an old man with gray hair and a wide stature, imposing the effect of a retired, powerful warrior.
"Hm? Mercury-dono, you are here as well? What are you doing at the first level of Nazarick?"
Even he can talk?! Did a DLC release without me knowing?
"You must be the commander of the Pleiades Combat Maid group, are you not?"
"Yes, I am Sebas, Mercury-dono."
"Sebas, huh? What are you doing here in the first floor instead of being in front of the throne room guarding?"
"Momonga-sama has ordered me to scout the area outside Nazarick."
"He did, huh? Don't let me distract you from your mission, then."
"Conversing with a Supreme Being such as yourself is never a distraction to us lowly attendants!"
"Is that so, huh? Well, go on."
"Thank you, Mercury-dono."
Sebas continued walking on ahead, no hesitation in any of his steps.
"He's right, Mercury-sama. A Supreme Being talking to attendants like us is an honor."
Meanwhile, I was in deep thought, when Momonga suddenly interrupted me.
"Mercury-san, I called every guardian in Nazarick except for Victim and Kyouhukou to the Sixth Floor. I need you to come here as well."
"Sure thing. Just a question, does the ring work?"
"Yeah, it does."
"Okay then, I'm coming over in ten minutes. I'm taking my Three Sins."
"Talk to you later, Mercury-san."
"Sure thing."
I cut the connection. It looks like ring works as intended, but I can't just give guild rings to my Sins; I would have to be a guild master to do that, and I'm not a guild master.
"Lust, Wrath, Sloth, we are being summoned to the sixth floor. Follow me."
"As you command, Mercury-sama."
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