/ Fantasy / Oscuro Online
概要
Lucio was 17 years old when he found out that he was not alone and he still had a family. He soon obtained the [ADMINISTRATOR SYSTEM] and was given the power to bridge the two worlds, a world of science and a world of mysticism, Earth and Oscuro. Introducing Oscuro to the people of earth as a VRMMO, he successfully accomplishes his first task. Will Lucio stand at the top of both worlds or will he succumb to his greed? Only time would tell.
****
Lucio looked at the Princess in front of him and said "I'm a greedy man, princess. Hiring a genius requires more than just.... simple gold."
The princess left his place in anger, only to lose the throne to her brother. Alas she realized her mistake too late, as it wasn't her brother who defeated her, it was Lucio, a commoner whom she thought was an ant.
****
The god sat on his throne looking down at the boy who he had given the system to, "You are such an unpredictable boy...... so now you dare to go against my authority? You are just my puny little slave , HAHAHAHAHA"
The orbs of fate spun as per his command. "Let me see how you deal with this." said the demon who called himself a god, with a smile that reached his eyes.
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4.63
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Writing Quality: I am really surprised at how well you have written your chapters. Is English your first language? If not, absolute great job! Your mistakes are few and far between and are extremely negligible in the progression of your chapters. Update Stability: Your Update stability looks... odd... Do you go back and edit your chapters constantly? It looks like you update your novel every other day or couple of days? I'd definitely recommend doing everything in your power to increase to at least once daily. Story Development: Wow! What a great read! Very compelling, interesting, and man, was I hooked! I am absolutely loving your story! The plot just draws you in and never lets go! Character Design: Lucio is your average Asian-esk MC, you know the type, "Average looks" "Average build" "Average Appearance to the outside world" but is presented in a well-defined manner that doesn't detract from the trope that he is filling, and it's done exceptionally well. Looking forward to seeing how the cast expands as there are many ways this could go! World Background: Modern-ish society with MMO craze, it's a tried and true genre but it's not straight in your face about it. The outside world is build just as well as the beginning we've seen of the in-game world. MC's history as well as his family's is such an appealing and breath of fresh air in the well saturated genre. Overall: Bang-on job man! I can definitely see this novel blowing up and becoming a top story on WN! Your style, tone, and plot are well developed. Stay consistent and you will definitely have a winner on your hands!
I really liked this novel as the author knows what he is doing and the story has a realistic tone and it's fresh from other Online Novels Here VR is just a tool used by higher Beings not a Game And the MC has red System and he is not a player but he is the manager of the system thank you for the Novel
The novel is amazing as it mixed two worlds which is the type of novels I love and the main character Lucio is pretty well made as well, the story is written very well and the story is unique. Although there are a few parts I have seen before like becoming an administrator which I have seen in a couple of other novels but it's nothing big so the story is good. So all in all the novel itself is amazing and if your checking this work out I definitely recommend you read it if you have the time!
The synopsis already hooked me into reading the story. The starting chapter is interesting, such a detailed description made me feel like I could see the scene that was happening.
Cool naming sense! It's got a lot of potential, i really hope to be able to read it daily and see where it goes. it's got good writing quality, I can't say anything yet about the story development since its too early, but it got me intrigued. Also, admin system op!
I couldn't pass the 2nd chapter, so this review will probably be biased. The chapters feel like a bunch of poorly connected ideas with a lack of explanation of how we got there or at least a hint, which creates a disconnection between what happens in the book and what the reader might perceive. SPOILER AHEAD. For example, in the beginning, it says that the mc hasn't murdered in 11 years. I'm going to assume he was transmigrated at the age of 6 and went john wick on someone. Then he explains how the killing was common in his last world (Oscuro). So until that part, the personality of the mc should be of a grown man who knows about life he is probably older than 30 if we combine two lives (I'm assuming this part, or if he transmigrated younger, is most likely more mature than it should be, based on the 'killed someone' part), but the writing sadly doesn't reflect that instead, we have the typical naive 17-year-old. Again I only read the beginning. Therefore I may be wrong.
I really enjoyed the read! Your descriptions are very vivid, and you have an excellent vocabulary. Personally, I do feel that some descriptions were a little too specific but that's more of a personal preference than something you did wrong. I'm very interested to see how the story progresses from here on out!
A very good novel. Story isn't much unique but it looks fresh and good. I am looking forward to his relationship with his siblings progressing. His little brother looks a lot like me when i am younger lol.
when is the next ch coming? I love this novel. the writing style is op and although there are some grammar mistakes the story is overall good
I especially like the theme of the story and the author did a good job writing the story.
A unique take on the VR game genre as the MC is the owner of said game and have his own cheat system within the game. I like it. Keep it up, man!
So i like the direction the book is taking, not only that but the world is decently fleshed out. However, the main reason I rated it lower is this. The pacing is super off and doesn’t do a good job of explaining things, its hard to explain. But they way things are paced it feels like your being dragged along for the journey rather than being actually shown the interactions. Also, I am not sure if this is intentional but it almost feels like we’r expected to know about events or characters before we actually do. Plus there a few time skips that were really jarring. That being said, very well written grammar and punctuation wise. The story has a ton of potential and I would love to see some edits really elevate this story to the next level. Just really focus on adding more detail to the characters and events.
The now-classic combination of VR and RL is tried and tested. I especially like the yakuza elements. The only thing I do not like that much is the mc himself, but that is just my personal preference. I prefer MCs who are more sympathetic, or at least have a background I can relate to. Maybe as time goes on, we'll learn more about the MC, which will make me like him more. If you keep up the daily uploads, I think this can really be something great.
Good story . Writing style is really good and easy to understand. 10/10 gonna add to my collection.
I like the story, the storyline, the written quality, and the world background are great. can't wait for the next update.
Your writing quality overall is good, but there are a few mistakes. Typos and punctuation mostly, nothing too drastic. Your update stability is good. The story development is where it gets spicy. Your story is... a rollercoaster... to be nicely said. Nothing happens for a while, then a quick succession of events, then nothing again, before another quick succession of events. Makes the plot choppy in my opinion. Your characters seemed to have been well thought-out, but lack a bit of life breathed into them. The world background was also spotty. Not much was said about it, except for the few families you mention. Needs a bit of work, but overall was a good read :) Keep up the good work :)
start of the story is fabulous I would say as it keeps the mysteries and get your blood boiling with twists and turns. although the twists arre good, a chapter of many different things at one's will be a little confusing at the start. If you are in systems this is a good read. 👍
Alright so, just like every other author out there, I'll be giving my work 5 stars. I'm trying to make a medium paced novel that doesn't feel overwhelming nor underwhelming. Take some time to explore Oscuro, everyone.