章 669: It Was Nonsense
At the same time, a certain fallen god had returned to the demon king's palace. He stood in the shadows of the throne room and examined the man sitting on the throne.
Jin Ling had crossed his legs and propped one elbow up on the armrest, his knuckles supporting his head. His copper-colored hair fell down in wide waves that weren't visible at first glance and the light from the braziers glinted on the gem embedded in his earlobe and softened his features.
"Mn …" Xiang Yu tilted his head.
He couldn't deny that the demon king was handsome. The most important was that he was part dragon though. In fact, his blood was made up of equal parts of dragon and demon blood. That was much better than a demon but also much worse than a real dragon. In fact, this was a lot like throwing a coin.
Somebody with equal parts demon and dragon blood might have a dragon form or he might not. He could also be afflicted with either the dragons' or the demons' curse, either loving one person or none. It was hard to tell.
Unfortunately, this was already the best person in the demon realm. After all, fate couldn't be so cruel as to make a demon his lover, could it? No, that couldn't be it. So … it was either the demon king … or that fake dragon. There wasn't anybody else he knew in the demon realm that would fit the bill.
Mn … It couldn't be anyone from before, could it? Somebody from the Nine Heavens? Xiang Yu tilted his head. No, that … was unlikely. It had been so long. The people he once knew … And which god would accept somebody like him? Somebody fallen, somebody … impure. The gods paid so much attention to their image. After running away and marrying into the demon realm, after experiencing all that, how could he just return? No, it was impossible. The one destined for him … had to be either of these two men.
Xiang Yu pursed his lips. He didn't like that fake dragon. He didn't truly love. He couldn't. But … that was still better than being with somebody who was more or less a demon. At the very least, there was a small chance of that dragon feeling at least something. That … was better than nothing, right?
Xiang Yu turned away and returned to his chambers below the palace, sitting down silently. Ah, he didn't want to be alone anymore.
He thought back to that couple he had just seen. How gentle that man had been with his lover, how he had patiently taken care of him, giving in to all of his whims without getting angry … He also wanted that.
Xiang Yu hugged his knees to his chest and stared off into space. Once again being held in somebody's arms, sharing their warmth, taking in the smell of their body, feeling how close they were …
Tears gathered in his eyes and finally overflowed, streaming down his cheeks and dripping from his jaw. He remembered … He still remembered those days in the mortal realm. Lying in Yan Xia's arms … The way he dug his fingers into his robe, how their lips met, their breath mixed … All of it was edged into his memory, unable to be forgotten forever.
Xiang Yu sighed. Why? Just why had he fallen? If he was still a normal god, then he could at least drink the water of the River of Forgetfulness, detach his soul from his body and take another trial. One human life … it wouldn't be enough to erase those memories but maybe it would be enough to make them less painful. Maybe … he could find a little bit of happiness and pretend that such a life was really waiting for him sometime in the future.
Xiang Yu took out the petals of the flower he had picked before. He looked at them through a veil of tears and finally let go. Why should he hold onto them? He knew … Deep down, he also knew it was nonsense. There was no fate to be found in this, no answer to his questions. What Yan Xia had wanted to do, he had done it too thoroughly. In this life, there was no way to escape from his clutches.
Xiang Yu stood up and brushed the petals off his clothes, walking over to the shelf at the side. He picked up the skull that still rested there and stared at the empty eye-sockets.
"You've won. What you wanted … it's been achieved. Are you happy now?"
He didn't get an answer and even if he got one, it certainly wouldn't be what he wanted to hear.
Xiang Yu gently caressed the skull, his thoughts once again traveling back to those days in the mortal realm. How he clung to this man, relished in his company, how he cried when he had to leave him behind, how he was happy when he woke up in the Nine Heavens and found out that not everything was lost. They could still reunite. They could still spend their time together. Yan Xia wouldn't need to stay alone and mourn him.
He hadn't heeded his mother's advice. Ah, how he had cried when she slandered the man he loved, how he shook his head and threw a tantrum, how he finally ran away to be with him, to marry him and live with him until the end of time.
Who could have known she was right? He sighed and put the skull back down, looking at it for a moment longer. Yan Xia … The only man he had ever loved. The one who destroyed his soul. After his time with him, he wasn't even sure if he would ever be able to love somebody else. Maybe … this cruel man was the only one for him.
Xiang Yu turned his back to the skull and stepped through the gate to the High Heavens that he had left open. He looked at Jing Yi who was quietly cultivating while his soul was being repaired. He didn't speak to him. Instead, he walked past him, once again to that fake capital that had been built as a symbol of love.
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