章 4: Chapter 4
It's the next morning, about four o'clock, and I'm so not motivated to get my ass out of my soft, comfortable, warm bed. Can't I just stay here? Wasn't Kakashi known for always being late? Surely it wouldn't make much of a difference if I were to arrive a tad bit later... just an hour, or two, maybe three. But then again, who knows if he's just hiding in some bush like the pervert he is and watches us to see whether we're on time and if we are patient enough to wait for him. Yeah, let's not risk it. Gotta show him my discipline and dedication or whatever. Once I get there, I can just find myself a nice tree to sleep in.
In the end, I do get up and zombie-shuffle into the kitchen. I then proceed to make myself a can of black tea to which I add copious amounts of sugar and milk - I like my beverages sweet; I need that sugar rush to wake up properly, so sue me - before grabbing a piece of toast, slathering it with a decent layer of butter and top it with a thick slice of cooked chicken sausage atop of which I put a slice of cheese. I know, I know, our cyclops teacher told us not to eat anything but I'm a simple man: Me hungry, me eat. And oh my Gawd did that sandwich hit the spot! I make myself another one just cuz I can and cuz it tastes freaking awesome.
After breakfast, I go take a nice, long, hot shower and get myself ready for the day. I did spend some time debating whether I should tie my hair up in a ponytail or leave it as is. It's been getting quite long these days, but I also don't want to cut it. The long, black hair makes my icy blue cat eyes stand out more. But I can imagine it getting in the way during a fight. Ah, this drives me nuts!
These problems that some people have, tsk...
Anyway, I manage to arrive in time and that's all that truly matters. Sasuke is already there and he ignores me completely even though I greet him. Arrogant little prat, that one. But that was expected, it's the edge lordliness himself, after all. At least he's quiet, so I have absolutely no problems falling asleep as planned.
~•°•~•°•~•°•~•°•~
I wake up to the feeling of somebody gently nudging my shoulder. Can you please stop and let me sleep? But unfortunately, the person responsible for the disturbance is apparently incapable of reading my thoughts – or just gets off of annoying other people, who knows - and continues on, the nudges turning into shaking. Dude, quit being an a-hole this early in the day.
I slowly open my eyes and give them a rub while yawning for good measure. Eventually, my sight focuses on the person before me, and damn, I take back everything bad I said before. That's a sight I wouldn't mind waking up to more often. One lazy-looking, one-eyed Jōnin is currently squatting right in front of me, his big, strong hand still on my shoulder. A few rays of sunlight are falling right through in-between the leaves of the tree, and right onto his mop of silver hair, making it look as if he had a halo. Aww man~ he looks so good! And then he dares to smirk at me! Somebody, please, end me already. I don't know for how much longer I'll be able to resist this temptation.
"Welcome among the living, Shizuya-kun. Glad to have you back," Kakashi says with that all too familiar drawl of his.
"G'mornin', Sensei. Good to see that you didn't entirely forget about us," I mumble since my brain is not quite online yet. With delight, I watch his sweat drop in embarrassment. Ha! Gotcha!
"I just got lost on the road of life." Yeah, right, quit this bullshittery.
"Sure, whatever makes you sleep at night. I just hope I won't get dementia before the age of thirty. Wouldn't want to get lost inside the very village where I've lived my entire life, now would I." I could see his eye twitch.
"You snarky little..." He says in mock-anger, while I could hear Naruto laugh his ass off somewhere below me. Even Sakura is giggling. Sasuke, though, barely even lifts the corners of his mouth.
Suddenly, my world tilts and I'm falling. However, before I can even truly register what is happening, I was already on the ground crouching on my feet. I swear, if someone were to look close enough, they would be able to see three huge question marks floating above my head.
"It's true, cats really do always land on their feet," I hear Kakashi snicker from up the tree. Still somewhat confused, I blink up at him before I realize what had just transpired. That bastard had the nerve to push me off my branch! And Naruto and Sakura were now both on the ground roaring in laughter. Good thing that at least Sasuke remained his ole emo self.
Without any warning, Kakashi jumps down and lands right behind me, triggering a reaction I never knew I could have. Out of reflex, I leap to the side to bring some distance between the two of us, before leaning my body away from him and hissing threateningly, exposing my sharp fangs. I also brandish my claws for good measure. Which only made the whole situation more awkward.
"You really are a cat, huh," Kakashi teases. Meanwhile, I try to collect myself. What the heck just happened? It felt as if my body reacted on autopilot. I mean, I'm aware that I can be quite cat-like at times, but not like this. I just hope that this won't end up getting in my way someday. At least my teammates have a blast, judging by the wheezing of a certain pink and blond combo. Now even the Uchiha is smirking. Noooo! How could you betray me, Sasuke! You were my only hope! Dagnabbit!
"Ma~, enough joking around, it's time to finally get on with the important stuff," Kakashi drawls, giving Sakura and Naruto a moment to calm down. I'm still kinda pissed, though.
"Let me explain how this exercise works," the man says. He then takes out an alarm clock and sets the alarm to 12, then takes out three little silver bells and continues. "You have until noon to get these from me. Those who get a bell pass and the one who doesn't, won't get any lunch. I will tie you to one of the stumps over there and you will have to watch us as we delightfully stuff our stomachs." How evil. I know how painful it is to watch somebody else eat while you yourself are starving. I hope I will not be the one who ends up bound to the pole. Not that it would matter too much since I'm a naughty boy that went against his orders and had breakfast when I shouldn't have had any. But he obviously doesn't need to know that.
"But there are only three bells?" Sakura remarks. Well done, you are able to count to three! No wonder they call you the smartest kunoichi of our class!
"That's to make sure that at least one of you ends up failing the task and gets sent back to the academy," Kakashi replies with a one-eyed smile. "So, hold nothing back and come at me with the intention to kill. Use your kunai." Oh, you bet your sweet ass I will after that stunt you pulled earlier!
"Kunai? But isn't that too dangerous?" Sakura asks skeptically. I roll my eyes at her comment.
"Right, right, you couldn't even evade the chalkboard eraser!" Naruto adds while grinning like an idiot. Now I facepalm myself. There should be a limit to how stupid one can be...
"In this world, it's the unskilled ones that complain the loudest, so let's just ignore the bottom last." Kakashi-sensei scoffs at the blonde. It's not just in this world, I promise. Oh would you look at that, Naruto is angry. I bet he's gonna do something stupid.
"Once I say go you can start-"
But Kakashi gets interrupted by Naruto who charges at him with his kunai drawn. However, elite Jōnin that he is, the silverette easily catches the brat's hand and twists it behind his back.
"Don't be so hasty, I haven't given you the go yet." Kakashi states. "But I must say, I'm starting to like you guys." He adds. "Alright. Ready? Go!"
Naruto of course doesn't bother to use tactics or anything like that and instead remains in place. Sakura, Sasuke, and I, however, decide that it would be a much better idea to distance ourselves from Kakashi. This would at least give us a chance to think of a proper plan. Talking about plans, there is no way for freshly graduated Genin like us to be able to hold our own against someone as powerful as our teacher, no matter how much I'd love to hand him his ass. Not that it's our objective in the first place. All we gotta do is get those bells, and for that, it would be easier if all four of us worked together. Some of us would need to distract him – probably Naruto since he is already doing a phenomenal job with that – and then the rest could use that chance to move in and retrieve the bells. I'll have to tell the others about my plans somehow, though I doubt that they would even bother to listen. Still, I won't know unless I try, so here I go.
I turn to look at Naruto and wince internally when I watch as Kakashi rams his fingers up the blonde's ass. I wonder how that must've felt. Pretty painful, I'd guess. He didn't even use lube or anything. Ya gotta prep the poor boy before you go hard on him, y'know. But I have no time to keep pitying my fallen team member, who, to some extent, had his virginity taken by a pair of fingers. I turn away and look for the other two. They are not too far away, maybe I can do this.
With naturally silent steps, I approach Sasuke first. He doesn't even notice me until I place my hand on his shoulder, causing him to flinch and draw his kunai on me. Once he recognizes me, he lowers his weapon and gives me a "What do you want" kind of look.
"Listen. We have to work together if we want to-"
"No. You'll only get in my way. Don't bother me." He interrupts me and leaves. That went about as well as I had expected it to. A-hole. Douche. Prick. Fine, be a dick then, maybe Sakura would be more willing to work together. Although, I shouldn't get my hopes up too much. She'll probably just run off looking for her dear Sasuke-kun and ignore me. But I'm gonna give it a try anyway. It costs me nothing to ask. Other than time, I guess, but we still have enough of it left. I walk around for a short while before finding her crouching behind a pair of bushes. She, too, does not sense me at all. I then touch her shoulder to get her attention and... she screeches. Really loudly. My poor ears. Also, why bother hiding if you're going to reveal your location like this? Hold it, I don't wanna actually know the answer.
"What is it?!" She hisses at me with a glare. Sheesh, calm your tits, girl, I didn't wanna talk to you either. I'm only doing this because it would be the lesser evil when compared to having to repeat the academy.
"How about we work together to get-"
"No way! I have to find Sasuke first, I don't have time for your stupid ideas!" She, like Sasuke before her, interrupts me before going off on her own. What is wrong with these people? Can they not see that we have no chance if we don't work together? How are we supposed to pass this test if everybody just runs off like a headless chicken? I should really start mentally preparing myself for having to go back to the academy since that's likely what the result is gonna be. And I even went through the trouble to talk to them. No point in moping here. There is still Naruto, maybe he will understand. A huge emphasis on the word "maybe". After a few minutes of searching, I find the hyperactive idiot dangling upside down from a tree branch. One of his legs seems to have gotten caught in a trap. Shouldn't it be easy for him to free himself from something this simple, though? Oh well, I better use this situation to my advantage then.
"Want me to cut you down?" I ask as I approach him.
"Thank kami, yes please!" He shouts in relief and so I do as offered.
"Naruto, how about we work together to get those bells? It would be easier if the two of us-"
"Thank you for your help, Shizuya. I mean it. But if I want to become Hokage, I have to be able to manage things on my own, sorry." And off he runs, leaving me sitting on the ground alone.
I give up. I think my cat-brain is incapable of comprehending the logic behind their behavior. If there is any logic, to begin with. But I'm a nice person so I give them the benefit of a doubt. Nevertheless, mission failed. I probably only have about, what, half an hour left? But let's be realistic - I alone wouldn't be able to do jackshit against Kakashi.
"So this is where you were hiding." Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I turn my head a little and glance at Kakashi who just stands there giving me his trademark one-eyed smile. And that is all I do - watch. I don't give a shit about the exercise anymore. Since I'm going to fail anyway, why waste my energy and effort when I could just take a nap.
"Hm? Why so silent?" Sensei inquires.
"It should be obvious," I mumble.
"Huh? Why?"
"Because nobody listens anyway."
"So the others didn't want to work with you?"
"Duh, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here."
"What would you have done, had you gotten them to work with you?" Kakashi asks curiously. I sigh.
"I would've made one if not two of them distract you while the rest would've tried to find an opening to either incapacitate you or, given the opportunity, take the bells. Though, getting everybody to work together turned out to be nothing but wishful thinking, as you can see," I explain in annoyance. He chuckles.
"And why did you give up instead of trying to get those bells yourself?"
"I may be part-cat, but I can assure you that I don't have nine lives. You're vastly superior in strength, so I'd rather retreat and try on a later date, rather than throw my life away in a moment of desperation. I'm not at the point yet where I would consider suicide, thank you very much," I grumble.
"Ma~ What can I say... at least you understood the truth behind the test." He then walks over to me, leans against the tree beside me, pulls out a little orange book, and starts reading it. I continue to look at him. I'm sure, when I mentioned the word suicide, I've seen a pained expression on his face for a second, but now I see no emotions whatsoever. Probably just my imagination. My gaze then wanders to his waist where the bells hang out in the open. They are barely out of my reach. I bet that bastard is doing it on purpose. He's practically taunting me to do something stupid. Hmpf, as if I'd fall for such an obvious trap. Therefore, I flop down on the ground and make myself as comfortable as I can before closing my eyes and taking a nap.
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