章 1766: 42
Chapter 42: The Fight of Your LifeSummary:
Mad Titan, meet the Merchant of Death.
Notes:
Chapter-specific warnings: the usual [unreliable narrator because nobody's omniscient, canon-typical violence and mental health issues, etc.]. Also, elements of grief/mourning/survivor's guilt because of past implied character death [aka Thor's not having a good time atm], and even more headcanons coming to the fore via hand-wavy comic book science previously seen in the MCU. Some suspension of disbelief may be necessary.
Also, remember how I outlined this before Thor: Ragnarok came out? And how that means my take on Thanos is wildly AU, because of that? Yeah. That's a thing that is going to be very very relevant. Different motivations, the whole shebang.
Sorry not sorry for the ending.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
New York saw three days of torrential rain that no meteorologist could have predicted, as Thor's grief over the loss of his home manifested itself. Part of Tony almost wanted to get Thor to leave town for a while because of flash flood concerns, but…nobody wanted to be the douchebag to tell an alien god [and last known survivor of his species and wow it sounded even more depressing when put in words] to go cry somewhere else.
So the state got its first and only taste of monsoon season, before JOCASTA's alarms went off.
Her specialized, 'alerts the UN and WSC and everyone who signed onto this mess' alarms, the ones that meant her top-of-the-line, no-expense-spared deep space scanners were picking something up.
Which, considering Thor's depression for the past week, well.
[This was it, wasn't it.]
"What've we got, Jo?" Tony asked as he rushed to the nearest monitor, eyes sharp and trying to tamp down on his breathing.
JOCASTA's response was a wordless display of what could only be described as a swarm of light in a sea of black emptiness. To an outsider, it would have been intimidating enough— but Tony had personally worked on the technology for detecting foreign bodies, and as such he was acutely aware of the scale of what they were talking here.
This wasn't a comet, wasn't a single ship: this was nothing less than an entire alien force. Something big enough to get picked up as more than a blip that the largest of asteroids would have produced.
And it was headed their way.
Tony felt cold for a precious few seconds, before Extremis started to flare under his skin and his phone started ringing. Knowing his luck, it was either the World Security Council or the UN.
Right.
This was it. [The nightmare scenario he'd been scrambling to get his home ready for ever since his trip through the portal had shown him a vast invading force, just waiting to strike—]
This was the endgame.
Thor Odinson had been in the middle of desperately trying to remember funerary practices when they didn't have a body to bury, and failing miserably at being able to honor the dead because he was a failure [—wasn't even able to stand his ground as a warrior, had been hustled off to safety when all he'd wanted was to fight alongside his people]— when he was informed of the current state of affairs by Lord Anthony's vassal.
To say he was displeased would be an understatement.
To say that he had not taken it well was putting it lightly.
Well, at least the rain had stopped after it'd put out the fire, that was something, wasn't it?
...no, it wasn't. He should apologize for all the destruction he'd caused.
Especially considering how gracious the Midgardians had been with their attempts to help— Lady Maria had even gone through the trouble to get him a few casks of mead, and her subordinates had been very accommodating with his requests regardless of how outlandish some of them must have sounded.
But that was secondary to the task at hand. Right now, the Mad Titan was near, and Lord Anthony had extended an invitation requesting his presence, should he feel up to the task.
Thor walked into what he had been told was a communication center, only to find himself in the middle of what could only be described as a war room: there was a dizzying array of screens, some with maps and others with readings while others still had faces of what could only be a council. Some, Thor immediately recognized: Queen Ramonda and General Okoye both gave him a slight nod in greeting. Others, not so much— but they all had the distinct look of seasoned politicians and Lord Anthony looked only slightly harried as he waved him in.
"Councillors, Wakandan delegates— may I introduce you to Thor, the God of Thunder?"
As if on cue, however, Midgard's Sorcerer Supreme and Vision chose that moment to arrive. Despite the gravity of the situation, Thor could not help his amusement as some of the people onscreen jolted slightly at the golden sparks that announced the arrival of Doctor Strange, as well as Vision's sometimes-disconcerting habit of phasing through walls.
Lord Anthony gave an aggrieved sigh, and raised a hand to rub at his temples before gesturing towards the new arrivals.
"...and if you haven't met them before, here's Doctor Strange, and Vision."
"Dr. Stark, I thought you said the area was secured?" One of the councillors said sharply, and Lord Anthony shot them a smile that was such a painful reminder of Loki that it took Thor's breath away for a moment.
"It is, Councilman Jones. These three have been expressly invited to this specifically because they have abilities and/or experience that might very well save the day. And—" Lord Anthony turned to look at Dr. Strange. "Hey, Strange, are you an Avenger?"
Dr. Strange shook his head. "I am a Master of the Mystic Arts. Call me if you're dealing with end-of-the-world scenarios, and only then."
Thor spotted a celestial map on a nearby screen. He was able to make a reasonable guess as to what the cluster of white in a sea of black meant, even without much context.
"You said the Mad Titan is at hand?" He cut in before they could start bickering. There was probably something in his tone, for he now held the attention of the room, but…
He found he didn't quite care for it the way he might have, once.
"Yes." Lord Anthony said. "Can you tell the Council what you know? They'd rather hear it from...someone with more experience."
Thor barked out a laugh that started out as a sob. "What is there to say? The Mad Titan exists. He destroys worlds and courts Death with their ashes. Norns alone know how many civilizations he's wiped out."
"Okay, but when you say 'courts death'..." One of the unfamiliar faces on the screens said with no small amount of disbelief in his voice, and Thor scowled thunderously.
"There is a reason we call him the Mad Titan. Almost all we know of him are rumors, for he leaves no survivors. Very few have tangled with his armies and lived to tell the tale."
Lord Anthony was not the only one who blanched when Thor looked at him.
"No."
He gave a thin-lipped smile in reply to his unasked question, then turned to the stunned faces onscreen. "The Mad Titan is not to be underestimated. New York and Sokovia only saw a fraction of his invading fleet, compared to what I saw on Asgard before..."
He trailed off for a moment, remembering the horror he'd felt at the sight of the leviathans bearing down on his home.
Then he shook his head, reminded himself of his audience, and would have powered on had not Dr. Strange taken pity on him.
"There's no negotiating with him. He's going to say he only wants the Infinity Stones, but—"
"What are they?" One of the members of Lord Anthony's council cut in.
"They are six cosmic singularities, each capable of altering the fabric of reality." Dr. Strange replied with a thin-lipped smile. "Thanos has three, we have the other half and no, they are not up for negotiation."
"Any one is incredibly dangerous." Thor said. "All six combined would be nothing but a cataclysm in the wrong hands."
"We have three?" Another counsellor asked with a frown, and he nodded.
Before the war council could get too agitated, Lord Anthony spoke. "We have a plan, and we are sticking with it come hell or high water, this is exactly why I created JOCASTA and anyone wanting to negotiate with the murder-happy bastard is more than welcome to take a hike."
Thor could not help but quietly marvel at how Midgardian practices differed from his own. Had something like this happened on Asgard, Odin would have already called for guards to cast the dissenting voices from the war room.
And then another alarm sounded, and all eyes turned to Lord Anthony.
"That's the proximity alert saying we have incoming, fast." He said with admirable calm. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to JOCASTA, our planetary defense system?"
"Hello, World Security Council." A cool female voice spoke. "Dr. Stark, foreign bodies approaching and projected to enter visual within ten minutes."
Despite everything, Lord Anthony looked...almost proud, as he continued.
"Jo, you know what to do."
Tony couldn't put a name to how he felt as he heard his youngest AI kick-start the protocols they'd set for this exact situation.
This was the moment he'd worked so hard for— the moment where every second of sleep he'd lost, every shred of research he'd done finally paid off.
"Iron Dome, initializing."
"Iron Dome?" He heard Strange almost snigger behind his back, and he sagged.
Then, he turned and scowled. "Look, it was either the Iron Dome or Skynet, and that name's kinda already been taken, okay? Besides, you don't have much room to talk, Sorcerer Supreme."
...but even that didn't detract from the thrill he felt as he saw projection JARVIS had helpfully pulled up to show the way things were currently going.
"What is it?" Thor asked, and Tony finally got a chance to explain the culmination of something that had been years in the making.
"Thor, this is the Iron Dome. Remember the energy shield from New York? Think that, but bigger. Way, way bigger."
"Big enough to cover the planet." Strange said knowingly, and right, he'd taken a sneak peek, hadn't he. But that didn't stop his concerned look as he continued. "Stark, how much energy does this take?"
"Good thing my company's been making leaps and strides in green energy, isn't it." Tony replied, and felt inordinately proud even despite the kernel of worry that hissed this wasn't enough, would never be enough—
He'd done his best. That was all he could do.
[Please let it have been enough.]
They were indoors, with only a single window to give them an idea of what was going on outside.
They wouldn't see the way the Iron Dome grew from each satellite that had been put into the Earth's orbit, thousands of miles above them. Wouldn't be able to see the flares of light shining a brilliant arc reactor blue, as connection after connection was made, forming an intricate latticework that made an impenetrable shield.
A suit of armor around the world.
"Iron Dome, engaged." JOCASTA finished, and Tony took a deep breath.
"And now we wait."
Later, there would be many, many, many pictures circulated around, both on and off Earth—of Thanos' vast armies, stretching as far as the eye could see. Of a planet surrounded by an enemy that wanted nothing more than to annihilate it simply because it existed, because it was in his way, because the Mad Titan had chosen his next target for slaughter—
Only to stop short as they rammed head-first into an unexpected resistance.
And then—
"You are in sovereign territory. Please state your name and intentions towards the Earth."
In the safety of the communication center, Tony could tell who had and hadn't read his various proposals on JOCASTA's protocols by the looks on their faces.
Queen Ramonda and General Okoye both looked slightly tense, but otherwise shared a small smile; conversely, some of the Council members paled and Councilman Petrov hissed something that his microphone didn't quite pick up. Strange had never picked up a single briefing about Jo, but had clearly seen enough that he'd just pulled up a chair with a smirk, whereas Thor's eyes widened and tightened his grip on his hammer.
"And that'd be JOCASTA broadcasting across frequencies to try and establish contact. I'll be honest though, I'm not sure if—"
Tony wasn't able to finish before his phone blew up with notification after notification, while his connection with everyone on the conference call got fuzzy for a second.
"What's going on?" Tony asked JARVIS, ignoring the faces some of the Council made because he was still on the conference call but this was important.
However, it was JOCASTA that replied.
"We have a transmission being broadcast across every single frequency, some of systems got downed because of the override. And—" For the first time since she'd come online, JOCASTA sounded hesitant. "Dr. Stark, they're asking for you."
"What do you mean'they're asking for me." His voice was flat, was sharp, but he couldn't help it. Because seriously, what.
"Sir," this time it was JARVIS that spoke up, voice downright icy in a way only Tony could pick up from years of knowing him, "the progenitor of this broadcast appears to be the adversary Prince Odinson spoke of."
Oh
"Guys, I need specifics. Show me?"
In reply, JARVIS did...something, and next thing he knew, Tony was staring down a purple humanoid who sneered down at whatever camera he used.
Behind him, Thor hissed. "The Mad Titan."
Ah.
So this was Thanos.
"I would speak with the one who destroyed my invading fleet." Boomed out of the speakers, and oh.
Part of him wanted to panic, wanted to feel something because holy shit the genocidal Destroyer of Worlds deliberately went and sought him out from the billions of people who were probably watching the horde of aliens even now hovering above the Iron Dome, just waiting for the first chance to strike—
But.
For some strange reason, Tony wasn't afraid.
Tony had lived in terror since 2012, had worked himself to the bone trying to scrounge up enough defenses to prevent it from ever happening again. Since New York, his life had been little more than a blur of nightmares and exhaustion and stress with the burden of knowledge that there was something out there that wanted nothing more than to see them all dead—
But now he had a name and a face to put to one of his worst fears, and this?
This was just another one of a long, long list of 'Stuff That Nearly Killed Tony Stark But Failed Because of Reasons'.
This was just the final battle of a war that had been going on ever since his home had been invaded.
This, he could deal with. Creepy voice or no.
Mad Titan, meet the Merchant of Death.
Tony straightened up, and turned to face the people who were still online. "I'm answering, maybe we'll get systems back up. Wish me luck."
"Stark don't you da—" One of them started, only for FRIDAY to mute them and shift most of his conference call to a single monitor.
"JARVIS— prepare for livestream. FRIDAY, can you amplify it across all frequencies?"
"Yes, boss. But you know that—"
"It means anyone with a TV or internet access is going to be watching? Yeah."
No pressure, no pressure. He was just going to be probably talking smack with the genocidal maniac who wanted to destroy his home in front of the entire planet, no pressure.
Well. At least he'd combed his hair this morning, that was something.
Behind him, he could hear Strange ushering Thor away. Were they camera-shy or something? Or— wait, no, the guy was a doctor and Tony was going to talk to the bastard who made Thor the last known survivor of his species, right.
No wonder they ditched him for this.
He'd feel less self-conscious doing this alone, anyway.
Right.
JARVIS used a nearby monitor to let him know to get ready, and this was going up in 3...2...1...
The camera across from him blinked on.
"Hello, purple guy. You rang?" The Merchant of Death asked, eyes sharp and voice deceptively light.
One beat, then two, and then—
On the screen in front of him, the Mad Titan smiled.
"Stark."
The Destroyer of Worlds knew his name.
Cool, cool.
"You know me?" He raised an eyebrow. See? Not scared or weirded out, nope.
"You have my respect."
Great. Not creepy at all.
"Oh?"
"You are capable of such beautiful destruction."
This was a mistake, why had he decided to respond? Oh, right. Ugh.
"Why are you here?"
"We both know why."
Yes, they did. And yet— for some reason, Tony highly doubted Thanos was the type of guy to just strike up a conversation with a stranger at random. What was his play here?
Then Thanos continued, upending all of Tony's control of the situation in one fell swoop.
"But I am also here to offer you a bargain. Hand over the Stones, and assist me in courting Death. In return, your domain shall be spared."
What.
Tony's smile didn't falter only thanks to years of long practice. However, he couldn't help the disbelief in his voice when he asked, "Do you honestly expect me to fall for that?"
"No," he got in reply, "I expect the Merchant of Death to flourish as one of my greatest generals."
Oh, hi, Extremis.
Why, yes, he did need to set something on fire right now, how convenient. Wasn't like he'd liked that particular paperweight, anyway.
Also, how the hell had Thanos gotten that name so fast? Eh, something to think about later.
"Yeah, how about no."
As they were talking, JARVIS and FRIDAY gave him rapid-fire updates of the situation via his tablet. Apparently the World Security Council was not a happy camper about his shutting them out, Wakanda was in support of his decision to not give up the Stones, and he was trending on social media.
Fun times.
Thanos, however, wasn't finished. "Consider it. Join me, and—"
Tony barked out a sardonic laugh that wasn't. "Yeah, right. We both know you're lying, pull the other one."
Thanos paused with a frown, and Tony pressed onwards. "You show up on our doorstep with an entire invading force ready to wipe us out, and expect me to just roll over and serve you? Never. "
"You will find—"
"You're the big bad, the man behind the curtain. You're the one who ordered Loki to invade during New York, and Ultron during Sokovia, and now you want to finish the job they started? Well, I've got news for you."
He leaned forward, every inch the Merchant of Death. "You should have expected resistance. Earth won't go down easy."
Thanos looked slightly amused. "You honestly expect me to think you are capable of fighting me."
"You want to wipe out Earth." He scoffed. "Don't tell me you're surprised we're going to fight tooth and nail to defend it."
"Is this when your so-called Avengers will arrive?"
Oh, come on.
How'd Thanos of all people hear about that mess?
"Even if we fail, this will end in fire." He retorted evenly, matching Thanos' quiet [arrogant] confidence with his own. "And I promise you, we won't be the only ones to burn."
...was he seriously trying to trash-talk the genocidal maniac who a) wanted to wipe his home planet out, and b) seemed to have the same obsession Ultron had with him? Yes. Was it all just a melodramatic waste of time while JOCASTA was warming up her offensive capabilities for the first time? Also yes.
"This is your last chance: surrender the Stones now, or suffer the same fate of those who get in my way."
"You will regret this," He found himself saying, with the same razor-sharp edge he'd once used against warlords and mercenaries and mad gods. "You will rue the day you ever set your eyes on my home."
"I have an army," Thanos boasted, reminding him of the last time he'd heard those same words but with even more arrogance than Loki had possessed. [Ah. So the kid gloves finally come off.]
Only this time, the whole world was watching.
The Merchant of Death smiled. "Funny, so do I."
And because JOCASTA was just as much of an enabling troll as her siblings, the Iron Legion chose that moment to take flight.
Notes:
Unreliable narrator instances:
—The Iron Dome thing is both a in-story and meta joke that was partly inspired by the real thing.
—Another instance of culture clash: Thor didn't elaborate on it earlier, but to sum up: he sees Tony's role in New York as a Very Big Deal, and mistakenly assumed humans did too. In his defense, you'd think that these guys would listen to the one human who actually saw what they were up against, wouldn't you? Instead of assuming he's just overreacting, and acting like that trip through the portal wasn't all that? [Also, the list of people who've seen Thanos and lived to tell the tale that he knows of: Loki. That's it.]
—Stephen took Thor out of the room partly out of courtesy for Thor's mental health, and partly because he knew what was about to happen, which ties into the following misunderstanding:
—Tony sees the impending battle as a deja vu of New York, aka "Big Bad wants to wreck my home and I'm going to defend it". He's the only one who sees it this way: everyone else is seeing this showdown as "guy who took over the world vs. the guy who wants to end it". Yeah, whoops. [Their Skype chat didn't exactly help, either.] For the record, btw: Thanos didn't know about the Civil War mess, he just found it incredibly pathetic that these humans truly thought they stood a chance against him.
—Also: was Thanos lying about sparing the Earth if Tony joined him, or not? You decide!
————————
...this chapter cooperated less than the AoU arc, action scenes hate me, and real life bites. *headdesk*
crackfic ending incoming, btw. Maybe not next chapter, but the one after that. If you were expecting this fic to be Very Serious in how this is going to go down, my apologies for what is to follow because the theme song for this fic switches from heavy metal to "Yakety Sax" and it shows.
also this fic is literally now over 1000% longer than the one I thought I was going to write nearly 3 years ago and the finish line keeps moving away, FML I hate everything
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