章 2168: 36
Chapter 36: Dog Paddling Past SuspicionsNotes:
I worship upon the alter of tea. For tea is good. The hoard of unruly children I preside over cannot defeat the beacon of calmness holding a mug of tea. Also their little noses scrunch up every time I remind them it's tea not hot coco and it's hilarious. But the power of keeping a blank face and sipping your tea instead of responding to a stupid question is immense. You can see the prepared whining fight fade from their eyes. And there are stupid questions. For instance if you just chucked a fist full of rocks at another child and I tell you to go sit down for five minutes, you know why I said that. An arched eyebrow of 'really' with a sip of tea leads to sulky acceptance of time out.
Chapter Text
Wanda sat beside her brother, their elbows lightly touching, as they watched the...chaos that was Peter and Darcy trying to teach Daisy to swim. "If they stopped trying to drown each other it would go much faster."
"I think that's the point." Pietro replied dryly. "Why are we here?"
"Because Darcy and Peter wanted to feel clever and had me bring Daisy." Wanda couldn't help smiling as she felt the delighted energy coming from the siblings. "And once they give up killing each other, we're going to actually help Daisy learn how to swim."
Pietro's mood flickered with a touch of mischievousness. "So I'm to fall on my sword and distract two thirds of the trio while you help Daisy?"
"If you don't mind." Which Wanda knew he didn't, she could feel it. "I am glad we are not siblings in the same way they are."
He snorted as Daisy sent a wave into Darcy. "It would not have suited us. It's a good thing no one is siblings like them."
"I don't know, they don't feel that unique." Wanda used her powers to block some water from sloshing into them. "They're just intense individuals."
Pietro stared at her. "I refuse to accept that. They're too weird."
"And we're what exactly?" She looked at him, sharing her amusement with him.
He held up his hands. "We're totally normal. Communication by magic space rock mind powers is completely normal."
"Of course." Wanda barely kept from laughing as she returned to watching the Starks trying to kill each other in the pool. "If you try to drown me I'll take advice from Darcy."
Pietro hopped to his feet. "Might be worth it." He winked at her before vanishing in a blur.
She sighed, well time to join in before her girlfriend was drowned on accident. Wanda brushed off her pants as she straightened and then headed to the locker rooms. Because of course Stark's private pool had locker rooms. She was continuously baffled by Stark. The man spent money on the weirdest, most unnecessary, extravagance and she wasn't even sure he remembered a fraction of the things he actually owned.
Wanda waited till Pietro cannonballed into the pool, to slide in. He'd keep Peter and Darcy busy. She used her powers to gently push Daisy towards her and away from the chaos. She swam over easily. "Have you progressed to floating and blowing bubbles yet?"
"Not at all." Daisy panted, her eyes bright and happy as she used her toes to keep her face above water.
She laughed in delight. "Come on, I'll help you. There was a pool in our old neighborhood. We can work on it this week."
"You're my favorite." Daisy bopped forward and kissed her lightly. "So you said something about floating?"
Wanda caught Daisy's arm and pulled her further away from the others. "The first step is learning to float on your back."
"You can certainly get me on my back." Daisy teased gently, a knowing smirk in her eye.
She slapped her shoulder lightly. "You're terrible! Now come on, we don't have forever till they realize I've stolen you."
Wanda lazily sipped at her weird juice thing Darcy had ordered. She was exhausted, sprawled along one couch, Daisy slumped half against half on her. Pietro was half swallowed in a bean bag pretending he was asleep. Peter was actually conked out on Darcy's shoulder where they were sprawled on the other couch.
"So we should do that again." Darcy mumbled before taking a slightly obnoxious slurp of her own juice.
Daisy let out a groan. "Maybe give me like two weeks to get past the doggy paddle stage."
"You were doing really well." Wanda chimed in gently.
Darcy let out a groan. "How are you two so gross? Like tall dark and easter European pulling off 'mysterious wiccan' vibes meets 007 hacker punk and you two turn into mushy grossness. How are you the two coolest people I know and the lamest couple."
"Thanks Wanda." Daisy raised a prominent middle finger towards her sister while purposely not looking at her.
Darcy scoffed. "Thor, I'm going to get a cavity."
Wanda glanced over at Darcy. "I can tell you're happy when you see us."
"That's cheating is what that is." Darcy pouted only to wince as she went to move. "I'm going to regret this so much in the morning."
Daisy leaned forward and stole a sip from Wanda's juice. "This is why you should have been joining Peter and Pietro for workouts."
"Fuck no." Darcy managed to look surprisingly indignant considering they were all wearing essentially comfy work out gear and smelled like chlorine. "I go to a self defence class once a week, I learned how to shoot a gun against my morals by the by, but no way in hell I'm joining enhanced workouts from hell. I'm not doing it."
Wanda actually agreed completely with Darcy. "If I wasn't an Avenger I would not be doing the workouts Steve and Natasha made for me."
"I accept I've turned into a workout freak." Daisy felt surprisingly amused. "You know I complained about SHIELD being a 24/Fitness when I first joined?"
It was oddly difficult to picture a Daisy who wasn't deeply physical. Wanda actually paused slightly at that. "What did you do when you were bored?"
"I watched a lot of youtube videos, hacked a lot, reddit. Just so much time on reddit. Also was living off of gas station food so it was a bit of a system shock to join SHIELD." Daisy's face scrunched up slightly. "Even if my SO was originally Ward."
Wanda ran a hand down Daisy's back in comfort. "It is odd to think of you before you were an agent."
"I'm more concerned that a year ago Wanda was Hydra and four years ago you were a cyber terrorist." Darcy looked at them before shaking her head. "How you're so gooey I don't know. It's not the Stark genes that's for sure."
Daisy just flipped her sister off again.
Which Wanda wasn't sure why exactly but she laughed, running her fingers through Daisy's hair. She was delighted as she felt the gentle vibrations from her girlfriend. It happened when Daisy forgot to control everything. Not that she'd ever say it, she was fairly sure Daisy wasn't even aware of it. It was nice as they all fell silent in quiet companionship, all of them just sprawled out everywhere in their apartment.
Peter let out a particularly loud snore.
"Is he ok?" Daisy shifted so her head was laying on Wanda's shoulder, an arm wrapping around her waist. Her thumb rubbing circles against Wanda's hip absentmindedly.
Darcy straightened Peter's hair, he kept on sleeping. "He'll live."
Daisy hummed. "We're not going to be able to use any of the footage from today are we?"
"Not a bit of it." Darcy snorted. "Maybe a few frames but I'm not hopeful."
Wanda laughed outright. "The murder attempts wouldn't play well I think."
////
Yuri glanced up as Quake settled next to her, before going back to her binoculars. "You're early?"
"Eh, the kid is getting better at undercover. He's going in through the vents. If he runs into trouble he can hold out till I can get to him." Quake passed her a granola bar. "So how much evidence are you thinking before the case is airtight?"
She considered that, they'd pulled in a lot with the bugs, files, and that one informant. "We could take in most of them now. But I need something flashy if I want to make sure they can't try and make some deal with the prosecution."
"That's fair. I was thinking if we take down Hammerhead first, well that'd spook some of the Magia enough we might get some low level guys to flip." Quake suggested.
Yuri would admit that was a good point. "I'd ask you if you were sure you could take him, but I saw what you did to that kraken."
"I'm getting pretty awesome at punching things." Quake made a slightly amused sound. "Want to ask what's been bugging you?"
She cursed the fact that hiding things from the woman was basically a joke. "Look, Spiderkid's your brother right?"
"And what makes you think that?" Which, oh Quake's voice was definitely dangerous now.
Yuri pulled back from her binoculars and looked at Quake. "I can ignore the fact he's obviously a teenager if he's got someone like you following him around watching his back. But there's two reasons for you to be following him around. Most likely he's your brother. Or, you're romantically involved with him."
Quake twitched at the word 'romantically'. She sighed. "Yeah he's my brother. I don't have to explain why spreading that would be bad for his safety do I?"
"Because it's an open secret in intelligence you're Daisy Johnson. I've got a friend in the FBI who mentioned it." Yuri relaxed, which thank god. "Don't worry, I'll keep my mouth shut. I'm just glad I don't have to try and arrest you for statutory rape. That would have been… I don't see that going well for anyone."
Quake, or Daisy actually snorted. "Darcy would kill me if that happened. Can you imagine the media nightmare?"
"I can. Thank god you're siblings. I really would get fired if you didn't make me a smear trying to arrest you though." Yuri shivered, she had not been looking forward to the inevitable death trying to take on someone like Quake as an unenhanced police detective.
Quake actually snickered at that. "If it makes you feel better I wouldn't have hurt you for trying to arrest me for something like that. Wouldn't have let you arrest me, but wouldn't have hurt you."
-"I got the files"- Spiderman's voice came in through the comms. -"Leaving now. And please stop talking about Spiderquake, it's gross."-
"Rodger, also don't get cocky. You're an underpaid pizza delivery kid if anyone spots you between the office and the vent. Dissatisfied misery is the mood." Quake chided gently, humor easy to hear in her voice.
Yuri shook her head. "You know you two are so much scarier than most people realize. It's the spy stuff not the kraken punching that is scary."
"I don't know, it could be worse. My SO is way scarier than me. And the kid still has curfew." Quake passed her another usb of whatever she'd found through arguably legal means.
-"Hey!"-
Yuri raised her comm to her mouth. "Pizza delivery kids don't yelp at thin air." She grinned at Quake. "Have I mentioned how disturbingly useful you yahoos are as partners?"
-"Uh this file is a contract for someone named Aleksei? How dramatically Russian can your name be? Maybe Vlad would be worse?"-
Yuri and Quake both snapped into the mike at the same time. "Stop talking till you get out!"
////
Darcy woke up with a hangover and a slight feeling of dread. She cracked an eye open. Fucknuggets. With the subtlety and stealth of a rock she slid/thudded out of bed. Her head popped up, no her bedmate had not woken up. She breathed out in relief. Ok. She could do this.
Fuck, where were her clothes?
She cringed at her shirt that was clearly still wet from spilled tequila...right. Grabbing her bra and jeans she accepted the rest was a lost cause or just...had no idea where it was. Her cellphone had a minor charge. Thanking Thor, she stuck it under her chin while she pulled on her pants. Pausing she glanced out the window. "Shit." It was snowing, of course it was fucking snowing it was December...how the fuck was she supposed to do a walk of shame in the snow with no shirt?
Darcy was just...she stared at her contacts. That was...Aunt May was a no go obviously. Daisy was at her stupid morning therapy, which...Hunter was a good option. He was her bodyguard, totally something he should be down for doing. Even if it was his day off...god she wasn't that big of an asshole. With great reluctance she dialed a number.
It only took two rings before an irritatingly awake voice picked up. -"Darcy? What are you doing calling this early?"-
She kept her voice at a bit of a hiss. Sweet Thor her head hurt. "I need a favor."
Darcy grabbed the stack of clean clothes from Pietro's arms. "Oh thank Thor."
"Hello to you too sweetheart." Pietro chuckled while leaning against the hallway.
She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Really?"
"Too much?" Pietro gave her an amused once over. "Is this a walk of shame? I've never had one."
Darcy jabbed a finger at him. "You do runs of shame asshat." She hopped on one foot and yanked on a sock. "Don't go pretending you've got any more dignity than me. We can't all have touched magic space rocks."
"Fair, fair." Pietro held up his hands in surrender, though his stupid smug smirk didn't go away. He glanced at the door. "So who are you running out on? Because I do not remember you avoiding mornings after."
Darcy cringed at that. "I was very drunk. Bad decisions happened, sleeping with the ex is not a morning after I'm prepared for with a hangover."
"Ian?" Pietro bit down on his lower lip to keep from laughing outright. "You slept with the puppy?"
She groaned while dragging on her jacket. "Yes, yes I was stupid. Let's get greasy diner food and coffee now."
"I see, I'm just a taxi service to you. How shall I survive?" Pietro mocked while zipping to her side and hooking an arm around her. And then the world blurred.
Darcy moaned into her cup of coffee. Thor, she was addicted to that sweet, sweet caffeine. "Ok, you can live and I owe you one."
"I spend several nights a week at your apartment to avoid our sisters. Some of which are quite pleasant." He winked at her as he referred to their occasional nights in bed instead of just binging tv. "The horrible part is that I keep learning new and horrifying things about their powers, I do not want to know." Pietro stared at his pancakes like they might hold the answers to the universe. "I thought if Wanda blocked our bond occasionally it would be enough. The water on my bedside table got knocked off by quakes last week."
Darcy tapped her coffee mug against his. "I didn't need to know that, but also that's hilarious."
"I am happy for Wanda but…" Pietro's nose scrunched. "This is not how she felt about the girls in Sokovia I was with."
Darcy stabbed her sausage link. "It's cause you're happy for her and not just vaguely disgusted. Also I doubt she dealt with learning quite so much about your sex life."
"That is fair." Pietro dumped sugar into his coffee. "Do you think they realize they've mostly moved in together? They just switch between our place and the Parker house."
Darcy smirked. "Nope, and we're not telling them. I'm looking forward to being woken up at one am by a panicking Daisy when she realizes."
"They deserve the panic." He agreed easily. "But you are avoiding. How did you end up fucking the puppy?"
She let her head hit the table. "Oh Thor." Darcy groaned, but looked up. "Janey nation got back from Antartica last night. We did margaritas. Tequila happened, and Ian was there and he's reasonably cute."
"And you forgot he follows you like a mopey puppy." He winked at her. "I'll have to drop by the lab to watch the trainwreck."
Darcy took a bite of her sausage. "This is going to suck."
"I think you already did that." He sniggered.
She chucked her napkin at him. "Boo!"
////
May shifted through the bills. "Is it weird I'm thankful for bills that haven't been paid yet?"
"It means Daisy is listening to you and respecting your authority. A good sign, Starks are masters of agreeing politely and then doing exactly what they were going to do anyways." Pepper replied from her side of the video call.
Morse set a stack of papers down on Pepper's desk. "Speaking from experience with Daisy, the fact she's stopped just paying your bills is a good step. From the way I hear it it took a nanny bracelet, multiple near death experiences, and a year for her to actually listen to Coulson more than half the time."
"Is it bad I'm thankful she's past her teen years?" May grinned. "And she thinks I don't notice her sneaking out or Wanda sneaking in. At least she's not like Darcy sneaking in every couple of weeks with a hangover from margarita nights."
Morse hummed a slightly thoughtful look on her face. "If you are noticing her sneaking it's because she isn't trying to hide it from you."
"Spies." Pepper sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "It's like Tony pretending he doesn't know when my birthday is. I know he knows, he knows I know he knows. But he still insists he doesn't know so he has an excuse to do something ridiculous and over the top for it. I almost miss when he actually did forget my birthday."
May signed on the check for the garbage and slid it into the correct envelope. "Does this mean I should continue to act like I don't know or that I should say something?"
"Imply you know but don't push it." Morse replied easily. "Also would you please make sure my idiot husband is eating."
She smiled at that. "He's coming to dinner tonight. I think the kids plan to drag him into whatever it is they're doing with the mafia."
"Sounds fun." Morse looked slightly dreamy for a second.
May and Pepper shared disbelieving looks of commiseration.
Pepper cleared her throat. "How's Peter doing?"
"Moping because his crush is dating a senior boy." May picked up her electric bill, absently skimming it to make sure everything was in order. "It's probably for the best that he never got the nerve up to ask her out. He's wonderful, but two years is a lot in high school."
With a light chuckle, Pepper signed something on her end. "I remember high school, dark days filled with acne and braces. Bobby Kestler asked me to junior prom and the whole time there was something stuck in his braces and I just stood there like a deer in headlights."
"Oh gosh Ben was so awkward back then. Always tripping over his words, just a twig of a boy trying to be all chivalrous. Peter is so like him sometimes." May smiled softly at the memory of the early days between her and Ben. "But Ben took a photo of the moon, printed it and mailed it to me. Said it was as close to catching the moon for me as he could do on short notice. I had to kiss him after that. And he never gave me reason to regret that. Not really."
Pepper looked up at the camera. "I wish we could have met him."
"He was a good man." May set her pen down. "He and Tony would butt heads like no one's business." She laughed at the thought of that.
Pepper smiled back at her. "God the posturing would be awful. Tony's bad enough about Step-dad Brad and Coulson."
"This is why I'm your assistant Ms Potts and not Tony's." Morse added her face somehow miraculously professional.
May bit back a laugh at that. "I like you and Tony Pepper. But you could not pay me to work for Tony."
"I don't blame you. It takes a special mindset." Pepper's eyes were bright. "But then I'm not the one raising three of his kids."
May shared a look with Bobbie. "Really, you want to bring up Stark children? You're their step-mom. Also any plans for future little Starks?"
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