章 2153: 21
Hey guys! I'm moving this week. So I probably am not going to update till the Wednesday next week, possibly the Sunday after that. Just wanted to give you guys a head up. Cause we've started packing the house and I've been spending hours on the phone with the cable company. Basically no updates till the first week of December.
Chapter Text
Pietro had known his sister since his first moments. They had always been together. Them against the world. Eight months separated hadn't changed the fact he knew her better than himself sometimes. So he was reminded of when they'd been sixteen and Wanda had had her first serious crush. It was...how was she still so bad at this? He knew he was charming but he hadn't gotten all of the charm had he?
"I think these American juice stores are surprisingly nice." Wanda shifted slightly, her chair was as close to Daisy's as politely possible.
Daisy smiled, stirring her straw around in her carrot juice concoction. "Right? I mean I know Sokovia is a modern country and all, but juice bars are still spreading here in the US."
"You Starks drink weird juice, there was a kiwi mango with acai berries in the fridge." Wanda's eyes were bright. "But I'm thinking that is not a bad thing."
Daisy laughed. "It's a California thing. Tony mostly lives there and I spent a good few years in LA."
"And Darcy?" Wanda pointed out with the slightest of smug twists to her mouth.
Shrugging Daisy sipped from her drink. "Maybe good taste runs in the family."
"Really? Your costume is the only one that isn't questionable." Wanda's eyes flicked over Daisy. "Yours is actually very nice."
Pietro cleared his throat slightly. "I thought Stark was colorblind."
"If only." Daisy leaned in. "But, speaking of colors. How do you two feel about Cap's new pink hair?"
Wanda leaned forward. "Amusing, why?"
"How would you like in? The next target is Sam." Daisy's eyes were alight with mischief.
Wanda nodded, despite the fact this clearly would put them on team Ironman. "Do you already have a plot?"
"Well I was thinking, what if we tag teamed him?" Daisy grinned. "It would give Peter enough time to go in through his apartment window."
Wanda smiled, clearly pleased at more time with Daisy. He could literally feel it. "I think it will be fun."
"Right? Join the darkside. I'll make cookies." Daisy winked.
Pietro slurped at his juice, it was fine at best. But if joining forces with Tony and drinking weird fruit/vegetable juice was what helping his sister out meant, well the glitter trail Steve left these days was at least amusing.
Wanda had definitely just kicked Daisy slightly. "Do we trust your ability to bake?"
"I'm not that bad! And I'm getting better." Daisy protested. "Meet up for plotting after Peter's done his city rounds after school?"
"I can accompany Peter on his rounds." Wanda volunteered, her body angled towards Daisy.
Daisy smiled easily. "Thanks, I know he's been getting antsy with not being able to do much."
"It'll be good to use my powers some." Wanda brushed some of her hair behind one ear. "And we can plot what we'll do to Sam afterwards."
Pietro felt completely invisible. It was a new experience. But at least his sister wasn't stuttering or blushing...just making cow eyes.
Pietro was carrying a mango and something juice as he made his way into the labs. He hadn't actually been here since Dr Cho had done something to his bullet wounds.
"Speedy." Darcy paused in her scribbling in a journal. Her eyes narrowed as she spotted the juice. "Is that a peace offering, bribery, or disappointment?"
He held it out. "Bribery for information."
"Huh, acceptable." She snagged the juice from his hands. "So what's the info you want Road Runner?"
Pietro leaned against the wall of the lab. "Your sister, is she single. And if so, is she interested in women?"
"Interesting." Darcy raised a brow at him. "You noticed the whole whatever thing is going on between them then?"
"It's hard to miss." Pietro zipped to Darcy's other side. It only hurt a little bit, progress. "So, are we doing something about it? Because this is a country of opportunity yes?"
Darcy gave him a long look. "Alright cutie, I know Daisy bats for both teams and I know she thinks your sister is 'supes hot'. And obviously they have their weird angsty conversations if left alone for too long. But no meddling."
"That is good news. And she's single?" Pietro checked, he was completely willing to stock his and Wanda's fridge with ice cream if needed. But it would be better not to.
Darcy reached out and patted his shoulder. "If you breathe a word of this to anyone I'll stick my taser so far up your ass you'll be able to taste the lightning." Her eyes flashed. "But her last boyfriend died to protect her. Which means hands off."
"Ah." Peitro winced that was… "My sister has complicated tastes."
Darcy gave his shoulder a last pat before releasing him. "They'll figure it out on their own. And Daisy's a super spy, if we've noticed your sister's crush she'll have noticed." She huffed at the expression on his face. "Girls are complicated sometimes."
He crossed his arms. "Fine, but if your sister hurts my sister though we will have a problem."
"Duh. Just no putting pressure on them." Darcy rolled her eyes. "Now since you're here and I know you don't have a day job, hand me that screwdriver over there."
"I could have things to do." He still handed her the screwdriver.
Darcy waved the screwdriver at him. "You are unemployed and mooching off Tony."
"I was a very good thief, being an Avenger has cut into my style." He winked.
She actually snorted at that. "The 'Avengers' fight maybe two scary peeps a year. Get a day job or you'll end up creating obstacle courses from hell like Daisy. Speaking of get her to get your papers sorted."
"Huh, so what is a great and brilliant Stark working on?" He liked this family his sister had been absorbed into.
Darcy shrugged and pulled up a display on her holographic table. "I'm making a portable and deployable compact einstein rosen bridge generator. We can't open bridges for distances over a mile. But we're making progress."
"Wait...the weird science you are doing is portals?" Pietro crossed his arms. "Your father made robots and I got shot. Am I going to get dropped onto another planet?"
"The probability isn't zero." Darcy waved her blueprints away and stepped to a table with a bunch of things he had no idea about.
He followed looking over her shoulder. "Can you at least make sure it's a planet where the aliens are cute?"
"Your probability of planetary displacement just went up significantly." Darcy replied. "But insider info, I have yet to meet an Asgardian who wasn't an eight."
Pietro hummed. "And you've met many Asguardians?"
////
Peter sat between Michelle and Ned. "Sup."
"Ms Ratburn dropped a pop quiz on us this morning." Ned sighed. "It was terrible, I swear my life flashed before my eyes."
He stuck his straw into his juice pouch. "We watched Pride and Prejudice...it was so gross."
"What, May's crush on Colin Firth?" Ned asked, the asshole.
Peter let his head thunk on his arms. "She and Darcy argued about which Darcy was hotter."
"That is very confusing considering Darcy's named Darcy." Ned agreed.
Michelle cleared her throat. "So is this a good time to ask if Daisy would sign my Quake poster, or are we supposed to just keep ignoring that?"
"What?" He snapped up straight. "No?! That's ridiculous! I mean Daisy works at a gym. She's a totally normal human. Don't be silly."
Ned made an awkward squeaking noise.
Michelle raised an eyebrow, while leaning backwards. "I don't care. But on the down low, I got it."
"There's nothing to keep on the down low. You're talking crazy talk." Peter felt sweat running down the side of his neck. This was so bad!
Ned and Michelle exchanged a look. "Peter it's ok, no one else knows. We won't say anything."
"What he said." Michelle jabbed a thumb towards Ned.
Ned rocked a bit. "I mean who'd take us to R rated movies if Daisy couldn't cause of press? She only ditched us that time she had to go help SHIELD."
"Keep your voice down!" Peter hissed. "Wait, SHIELD?"
Ned chuckled. "It's obvious right? She's Quake? Superhero and SHIELD consultant?"
Michelle reached out and patted his back. "Are you ok?"
"Look you can't tell anyone!" He looked between them desperately.
Ned nodded. "We already figured that part."
"It's kinda obvious." Michelle's fingers tapped at her knee. "Which can you get me a Quake autograph? For real she's kind of my hero."
Peter let his head fall into arms again. This was so incomprehensibly bad.
"We won't tell anyone. I mean it'd put you and Aunt May in danger right? Like in the movies and stuff." Ned assured him. "Hey we can totally be like part of a network of allies or something!"
He cracked an eye open at Ned. "What?"
"Like you know, how the good guys have friends in all sorts of places." Ned leaned in with passion.
Michelle rolled her eyes. "Quake isn't going to want our help Ned. We're highschool students and she's got Spiderman for backup."
Peter blinked. "Spiderman?"
"Your sister's boyfriend?" Ned looked at him funny.
"I know that." Peter kind of wanted to die. His friends thought...oh god he was going to have to listen to what they thought of Spiderquake. Which was so gross. Extra super duper gross.
Michelle elbowed him. "Stop being weird."
Peter held out the large plastic trashbag. "Why is no one committing even a little crime?"
"I'm sorry, I know you were hoping for more." Wanda replied while floating garbage from the sidewalk into the open bag. "We could do a circuit around Queens?"
He tied off the bag and added it to the neat pile they'd already filled. "It's alright, we can just finish this and go home."
"We could pick up slushies on the way home?" Wanda offered, which was sweet since she hated slushies.
Peter smiled up at her, which considering the mask was a bit pointless, but whatever. "That sounds fun." He opened up a new trashbag.
They both paused and looked up as they heard the familiar sound of gunshots.
Peter and Wanda looked at eachother. "That sounds like it was from the bank."
"No one would be dumb enough to rob a bank when we're right here?" Wanda's eyes were lighting up red though as she began to hover.
Peter noticed the people running out of the bank. "Criminals are very dumb sometimes." He shot his web across the street and went zipping over. Peeking his head up to look through the window he frowned, hitting his comm. "Four robbers, handguns only."
-"I'll go through the front door."-
Peter's eyes narrowed. "Got it, I've got the gunmen." Was it bad he was psyched for a robbery? He was very excited to get to do something.
The front bank doors ripped open as Wanda walked in like an avenging red god. Huh, that's why the whole 'Avenger' thing. He got it.
Flipping the window open, Peter zipped in, webbing two guns as he swung through. "Hi guys! That seems like a lot of guns for the bank?"
"Spiderman!" One of the robbers snapped. "Shoot him!"
The two remaining armed robbers suddenly froze as red light encompassed them.
"Wow, you forgot Scarlet Witch? You're not very good at this." Peter webbed the now stationary robber's hands. "You should look into that?"
////
Pepper sighed as the two reporters followed her. Why PR, both SI and Avenger's teams, had thought this was a good idea she didn't know. But here she was. Hot on her heels were Fred Foswell from Global News and Gloria Grant from British World News. "These are our private labs on this level."
They walked out of the elevator as Pepper continued the tour of the Tower. "First we have our bioengineering department lead by Dr Cho. The advances in medical technology we're making here will begin to reach the patent office by the end of the year." The doors swished open and Pepper was able to smile as she gestured to Dr Cho, in a clean lab coat just for this occasion. "I'd like to introduce you to the brilliant mind leading some of the foremost research on skin grafting and synthetic organ development."
Pepper was able to politely stand back as several photos were snapped, the camera man had a running video feed as well. Several questions were asked and Dr Cho, like the consummate professional she was, dealt with them beautifully. It was almost enough for Pepper's feelings of dread to abate. Almost
In fact everything was going shockingly fine on science floor. The reporters had been suitably impressed and the staff had been competent for the first four labs. Pepper was more resigned than anything else when the astrophysics lab doors opened. It'd been a good run. PR could deal with the shame with smaller christmas bonuses this year.
Because the astrophysics lab was insane. Dr Selvig wasn't wearing pants, again. Instead he was nattering on under his breath while the intern, Ian, looked like he was near tears trying to shove pants at the man. Then across the room wearing plaid flannel pants, a slice of pie pun t-shirt, hair piled high on her head, complete with bunny slippers was Dr Foster. The woman looked like the science gremlin she was.
Ian looked at her and shuffled over. "Sorry Ms Potts, some new readings on the black hole came in and they're on their eighth pot of coffee. I'm not like Darcy, they don't listen to me."
Pepper's eye twitched. "Ian, why don't you go find Darcy and have her help her coworkers finish getting ready for the press." Which was already there.
"Ah uh...about that. Someone stole the poptarts and Darcy said something about revenge and left?" Ian's voice squeaked slightly.
Pepper turned to the press with the blandest of fake smiles. "Our astrophysicists work on a bit of a different sleep schedule than the rest of us. If you don't mind we can look at the robotics lab before circling back."
No one got to agree or disagree to that. Instead they were interrupted by a girlish shrieking scream from the hallway. As one they all turned towards the glass wall between the lab and the hallway.
Tony went sprinting past them, barefoot and grease stained, a herd of his robots on his heels with fire extinguishers, and one with what looked like a cattleprod.
They all blinked, a camera flashed.
Then smuggly traipsing up the hallway and entering the lab was Darcy, holding a giant pop tart box. She looked at them all, smug grin in place, and shrugged. "Poptarts are sacred to the science processes."
"SPAWN!!!" Tony screamed as he came running back by the labs, his suit snapping into place to defend himself from DUM-EE with a cattle prod.
Only the suit wasn't his usual suit. It took a second before the first snort echoed through the lab.
The suit was the bluest of blues, glittery silver stars across the thing with brilliant red accents. It looked like a patriotic wet dream, except for the sequined blue tutu around the waist. Truly, it was hideous.
Tony's voice warbled in outraged as the faceplate snapped into place. And then blasting from the speakers came an unmistakable sound. ~BABY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO.~
It was a train wreck. Tony somehow managed to slump. He raised his hand, pointed at his eye slots, and then pointed them at Darcy through the glass in the universal gesture for 'I'm watching you'. He then stomped back down the hall like a petulant toddler. The dulcet tones of Baby Shark echoing behind him.
Darcy laughed into the stunned silence, it was more of a cackle than anything else. She grabbed the pants from Ian and chucked them at Selvig. "Pants in the lab from ten am to eight pm. You know the rules or no cinnamon roll pancakes."
Selvig grumbled, but he actually pulled on his pants, not that man seemed to have noticed literally anything else.
Darcy easily grabbed the coffee mug out of Foster's hands, ignoring the grabby hands that followed her briefly. "Sorry Pepper, but he stole the poptarts and I told him revenge would be swift and terrible."
"Is the robotics lab at least intact?" Pepper asked and just...she was going to have to negotiate for so much of this to be left unaired.
Darcy sniggarded. "I wouldn't hurt the lab." She smiled at the reporters. "Since Janey probably didn't explain we're developing space travel here. Hopefully someday it'll be humans dropping in unannounced on aliens instead of the other way round. Course it's slow going because we have to take safety precautions."
"Safety precautions?" A dumbfounded reporter Fred asked.
Darcy beamed. "You should get Pepper to explain more, it's her baby. But there's an internal SI committee that all experiments have to be cleared by now. Supes cool, and will hopefully make sure none of us go off our rockers mad scientist. It's like the moral from Jurassic Park, just cause we can do something doesn't mean we should. My theory is the more PHDs a person has the less common sense they have."
"But don't you have a PHD?" Fred asked, his general demeanor best described as gobsmacked.
Darcy took a drink from the coffee she'd confiscated from Jane. "I just made the Ironman suit sing Baby Shark with a computer virus I 'borrowed' from Quake. Common sense is relative. But if you want I can show you what Tony and I have been working on in the robotics lab. It's a bit flashier than our equations here in astro-lab."
Pepper wordlessly accepted the confiscated coffee from Darcy. It was going to be a long day.
Five minutes later Pepper had a small smile on her mouth as Darcy wowed the reporters with the electric engines. It might be salvageable. And the next lab on the list was plants. That had to be safe.
Pepper sipped her herbal tea. "I think I'm going to schedule a spa day. I'm going to need it after the news airs tonight."
"You'll be fine." Darcy dumped some sugar into her own cup of tea. "That was excellent. Tony got humanized, no one is going to be terrified of scientists who forget to put on pants and wear bunny slippers to work. And you got some good stuff with the normal scientists to make investors happy."
"Tony's going to be insufferable." She appreciated it had gone terribly in beneficial ways instead of bad. "It'll be the only thing on the news for a week."
"I'm sure." Darcy pushed the plate of cookies towards her. "But just think, if everyone is playing Tony being chased by the bots on repeat, they're not micro analyzing Dr Cho and asking if SI is trying to make fleshy artificial people."
Pepper actually stilled at that. That was a possibility actually. "Remind me to make sure they aren't planning on doing that. It's a crime I can't steal you for the business side of things."
"Janey is going to the arctic to get some readings next month." Darcy sighed, and she looked exhausted. "Since Tony dumped this on us we could work on fixing it then."
Pepper smiled slightly at that. She got it. "He does tend to just do things without telling anyone else."
"Agreed. I talked to PR, publicising the prank war as much as possible should be good." Darcy pushed her glasses up her nose. "You know, distract people from the legislation over collateral a bit."
Pepper sipped at her tea. "It's certainly been useful having everyone focused mainly on the Michigan and ATCU scandal."
"They indited that congressman who was supporting the ATCU yesterday." Darcy raised her teacup in celebration.
Pepper tapped her cup against it.
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