章 837: 14
Chapter 13: Too Good For Your Own Good
Sitting in the middle of a heavily wooded area of the Forest of Death, Naruto sat in lotus position with his eyes shut simply thinking and calming himself with the sounds of the woodland area.
It had been right around a week and Naruto had been wondering how he could find out anything about any Minato that was in Konoha without tipping off Jiraiya or Tsunade since apparently it was all one big secret. He figured Jiraiya would eventually tell him, he would just procrastinate endlessly beforehand and that could take months to years. He needed information now, and since he was damn sure that Kakashi was on the take in this little secret against him he wasn't going to him, and he still couldn't find Danzo damn it, not that he was still looking, he had quit trying months ago.
It was obvious that this Minato guy was pretty influential in his day, but Naruto was never taught anything that wasn't truly relevant to challenges he would actually face while he was in Root so that didn't help much. And after his sealing his time in the academy was spent with many teachers refraining from helping or really teaching him so eventually he started cutting classes and not paying attention to Iruka-sen…sei…
Iruka-sensei! That was it! He wasn't old enough to really know anything on the scale of this cover-up and he wasn't close to anyone that was trying to keep it buried, he had enough of the general knowledge in Konoha that he could answer his questions, and he was damnably easy to find at this time of the day. He would either be in class, or if school was out he would be assigning missions at HQ… When did that man find time to train?
Shrugging these thoughts aside Naruto broke from his meditation in the Forest of Death and began to make his way to the Academy to find his old schoolteacher.
XxX
Inside one of the classrooms of the Academy a chunin with a scar across his face turned from the blackboard to face his room full of young students, "Now who can tell me the order of ranking in Konoha's ninja system?"
Near the back Udon's hand shot up as he started to answer with a sniffle, "Iruka-sensei it goes genin, chunin, jounin, kage."
Iruka nodded, "Very good, but what about Anbu?"
A little dark haired girl with the tell-tale eyes of a Hyuuga raised her hand to answer next, "Anbu are drafted from any ranking depending on their skill level and amount of potential although their identities are kept secret for the most part. A ninja of any ranking can be Anbu, but they are usually drafted from the level of chunin and up."
Iruka smiled gently at the girl, "Good answer Hanabi. Now next we-." He was interrupted by the abrupt sliding noise indicating the opening of the lower door and a mop of spiky blonde hair poked through the doorway, "Naruto?"
Naruto's eyes scanned the room momentarily before settling on Iruka. Giving the man an old-school foxy grin just because he could, Naruto stepped into class with no further adeu. He looked at the kids in the class and noticed near the back that Moegi and Udon were trying to shake Konohamaru awake to tell him he was there. Getting back to the matter at hand he focused on Iruka, "Iruka-sensei can you help me out really quickly? You don't even have to leave, it's just a question."
Iruka sighed, "You crashed my class Naruto. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Shrugging, he simply stated, "I've done stuff way worse that just 'crash your class' Iruka-sensei. Or have you forgotten? Maybe I can give some aspiring delinquents some base ideas…"
"Boss!"
Naruto simply waved at Konohamaru with a massive grin on his face, "Hey Konohamaru!" He turned back to Iruka and whispered to him, "I think he'll do just fine with a little inspiration don't you?"
Iruka palmed his face, "Please don't make an army of pranking underlings Naruto. I had enough problems with just you, and now you're all souped up and super-strong now, which can only make matters worse, I can only imagine what anyone you apprentice would come out like. You can go ahead and ask your question, I'll see if I can help, but only if you help me beforehand. Because you had to interrupt my lesson I need a favor from you."
Nodding in agreement, Naruto scratched his chin, "Fine, go ahead and tell me what you need Iruka-sensei. I'm in no real hurry, I'm on medical leave and needed something to do today anyway."
"Good, by the way I'd still like to hear about what you did on that last mission if you don't mind later." Iruka smiled at Naruto and turned around to the class, "Alright kids, today I'm going to give you all a little treat. I'm going to break off from the lecturing for today and give you all a chance to ask questions to an active Konoha shinobi." The children in the class started buzzing over talking to a real shinobi that wasn't Iruka.
Naruto blinked in surprise, "Iruka-sensei are there any questions that I can't answer?"
Iruka shook his head, "No Naruto, this is for their benefit so they can ask whatever they want. That isn't a problem is it?" Naruto shook his head and Iruka turned back to the class, "Okay, today we have Naruto Uzumaki here to speak with you. This was an on-the-fly kind of thing so let's go with it."
Naruto moved to Iruka's desk and sat down on it while he overlooked the classroom, "Alright, none of you know me or have ever even spoken to me, except Konohamaru, Udon, and Moegi. Raise your hands and I'll call on anyone with a question." As hands shot up all over the room he saw a little brown-haired girl near the front and pointed to her, "You, shoot."
She lowered her hand and smiled nervously, "Um Uzumaki-san, I know that there are ninja that specialize in certain things like taijutsu, or genjutsu, or things like that. What kind of ninja would you say you are?"
Naruto took a moment to ponder the question, "I specialize in killing my opponent." Ignoring Iruka slapping a palm over his face again he elaborated, "I don't know any genjutsu, just how to dispel even the toughest ones if I ever come across any, I'm very good at taijutsu, but I know people that are way better at pure hand-to-hand combat than me, I would say that I'm a ninjutsu specialist, but I'm still learning a lot of tougher ones, I'm decent at kenjutsu, but not as good as I would like to be as I've learned recently, I'm very good at stealth techniques, but I can't really utilize that skill with my current rank yet."
He shrugged his shoulders at her question, "I don't specialize in any single facet of being a ninja but I'm at the very least passable in all of them, if your aim is to be a powerful shinobi you should all keep that kind of mind-set, over-specialization can get you killed. I know at least two jounin that I can beat right now because if I neutralize what it is that they're best at, they can't beat me. Specializing isn't really a bad thing, just make sure that everything else is at least up to snuff."
Iruka's eyes widened as he heard Naruto's explanation of his skills. He was about to tell him to be serious about the situation but as he watched Naruto's facial motions and how he spoke he realized that he was telling the absolute truth. This wasn't empty boasting, it was a tested fact as far as Naruto was concerned, 'I've heard he was that good from others, but is it really that true?'
The kids raised their hands again and this time Naruto pointed to a boy with close-cut hair, "When is the last time that you killed someone Uzumaki-san?"
Naruto scratched his chin, "Um, two weeks ago on my last mission I killed like three people. Well two people, one of them just died in the middle of the fight, I didn't finish him. Next question."
Udon raised his hand and Naruto nodded to him, "Why do you call Iruka-sensei, sensei boss?"
Naruto smirked, "When I graduated Iruka was my instructor, therefore he is my sensei. He's the only man that I call sensei because he's the only one that taught me anything, not even my jounin-sensei really taught me anything." 'Well he's the only one that ever taught me anything that you all need to know about.'
He pointed to a boy with Inuzuka face markings, the boy gave him a wild grin, "Your turn kid."
"How many years have you been a ninja?"
Naruto blinked at his question, 'Longer than you've been alive you little bastard!' Yeah… he wished he could say that out loud, "I'm just starting my second year, I graduated last year, I know Iruka-sensei remembers that little event." Iruka nodded with a grin.
The boy asked another question, "Why is the sheath on your back empty? Are you too broke to afford a sword?" His question got a series of laughs from the people around him.
Naruto glared at the kid, "When you use a sword to attempt to cut grown men in half it sometimes gets broken in the line of duty. In which case you then have to get it fixed you little motherfucker. It's in the shop, I'd be glad to introduce you to the sharp end of it when I get it back."
"Shit Naruto! Stop cursing in my classroom before I kick you out!" Iruka fumed at him.
Naruto turned to Iruka with a fake angry look, "Iruka-sensei you can't say shit in front of the students! What the fuck?"
Naruto chuckled while Iruka was sputtering nonsense and pointed up to Konohamaru who he had intentionally been ignoring to piss him off. Ahh, little kids are so easy to annoy, "Go ahead Konohamaru."
Konohamaru's little glare was a thing of the past as he gave Naruto a toothy grin, "Why didn't you tell me you got promoted boss? I only found out the other day when I saw your pink-haired teammate."
Naruto shrugged, "You didn't need to know kid. Would it have changed anything? I've been a chunin for a while now."
"Liar."
Naruto turned his head towards the little Hyuuga girl from before, "And why are you calling me a liar…" Naruto started in an effort to feel out her name.
"Hanabi." The girl stated matter-of-factly, "And I'm calling you a liar because I saw you fight during the chunin exams and you didn't get promoted from that, no one did. Not even Neji."
Naruto smirked at her, "And you know this because you personally saw me drop the hammer on Neji firsthand right?" Naruto ignored Iruka's comment on language, "There was another test a while after the chunin exams and after that me and Shikamaru Nara got promoted."
She didn't falter, "Then where's your chunin vest? You get a vest upon promotion."
Naruto shook his head, "You do, but I don't like that bulky piece of crap so I don't wear it. It's not a necessity to wear it like it is for your hitae-ate so I don't wear it at all, others do it mostly because they care about people thinking they're elite, or they like the extra padding. Any other questions on my rank or integrity? Because I can keep this up all day until one of you steps on a nerve. Come on, I've got unlimited free time and a whole can of whoop-ass, who wants to set me off?"
Iruka sweat-dropped and decided to intervene before one of these kids ended up getting strangled by a rabid blonde kid, "Okay everyone, that's enough for today. Now Naruto, what was your question that you needed to ask?"
Naruto hopped off of Iruka's desk, "Iruka-sensei how many people named Minato do you know in Konoha, and who would you say is the most famous one? Also could you tell me if he had any kind of relationship with Jiraiya of the sannin?"
Iruka gave Naruto a dumb look, "I thought he was your hero when you were in school? That's what you told me the night before you graduated."
Naruto gave him a deadpan look, "I have made concerted efforts to attempt to mentally block out any and all dumbass remarks I ended up making while in the Academy. Needless to say, due to the potential of overlapping layers of stupidity, there was some mental fratricide. I don't remember."
Iruka raised his eyebrow, "You said it was the Yondaime Hokage."
Naruto's eyes brightened in understanding, "Ah, so I did."
Iruka gave Naruto a dry look in return, "Naruto, that's the Yondaime's name. Minato Namikaze. He was trained by Jiraiya. He summoned toads. He beat the Kyuubi…"
"And now he's dead and I'm not. Kyuubi – 1, Minato Namikaze – 0, oh yeah." Naruto ignored the Kyuubi and pieced together everything he just heard.
Iruka just looked at Naruto who was staring out into space with a blank look on his face. Konohamaru stood up in concern, "What's wrong with Naruto-niisan?"
Hanabi smirked smugly, "Maybe his tiny brain fried because he learned something new today."
Life came into Naruto's eyes as they snapped over to her. He started marching towards the door radiating killing intent and cracking his knuckles, "Alright, everyone outside to the practice field! Who wants to spar with a real life ninja? Let's go!"
Iruka moved to intercept him before he could leave, "Um Naruto? We don't spar until Friday, and you're not a student."
He whipped around with a sadistic gleam in his eye, "I need to vent a lot of frustration and pent-up aggression right now. The Suna kids are gone so I can't just beat the crap out of Gaara's sand until I get tired or feel better, and your room full of chibi trainees are the only thing within reaching distance, so either I put the hurt on them, or I put the hurt on you Iruka-sensei."
XxX
(Three Hours Later)
Naruto sat tied up to a wooden chair in Tsunade's office with three Anbu standing around him keeping watch, "Oh come on! I wasn't gonna put them in the hospital or anything! I just wanted to blow off some steam." Tsunade stood from her desk and nailed him in the head. After his head snapped down from the impact he let it sit for a moment before Naruto looked up and grinned at her, "Didn't hurt."
Tsunade cracked her knuckles and drilled him straight in the face, flipping the chair over and breaking it on the ground, loosening his restraints. Naruto looked up at the ceiling and tried to regain his bearings, "Ugh… That chair was bolted to the floor baa-chan…" He rolled over and spit out a tooth. Looking up at the Anbu he shrugged and placed it in one of their hands, "It'll grow back."
Tsunade wiped off her bloody fist and sat back down at her desk, "What the hell is wrong with you brat? You beat up an entire class of academy students. Who does that?"
Naruto stood up and dusted himself off, "In my defense I let them all come at me at once, and I tied one hand behind my back. Consider it a teamwork exercise. Give them all extra credit grades, tell their parents it was sanctioned, everybody wins."
Tsunade snorted, "You're going to catch some flak for this kid. What were you thinking?"
Naruto looked around at the Anbu still in her office, "You mind sending these guys out? This is kind of sensitive information." Tsunade gave him a look that said 'are you kidding?' "Well okay, I mean I was under the impression that Minato Namikaze was important."
Tsunade's eyes widened and she quickly ordered her Anbu out, "What do you know about Minato brat?"
Instead of flat-out answering, Naruto stood and made his way to the wall that had pictures of all of the Hokage in order from first to fifth. He stopped in front of the picture of the Yondaime and stood next to it looking out at Tsunade, "I must be fucking retarded. How the fuck did I not see this?" He gestured between himself and the picture, "He looks just like me. Kami, I'm slow on the uptake."
Tsunade sighed and rubbed her temple, "How did you figure it out? We were going to tell you soon."
Naruto chuckled, "Iruka-sensei." He noticed her surprised look, "Oh come on baa-chan!" He pointed out the window at the Hokage Monument, "It's been literally staring me in the face every day for thirteen years. I had to get help to figure it out! I should be pissed off right now! But I'm not, and I don't know why."
Tsunade sighed, "You are angry, you're just repressing it. That's not healthy Naruto, I think it's time I assign you a mission. You need to get out of town and take some of the edge off, I'll have something for you tomorrow. We can talk about this when Jiraiya gets back, he can answer all of your questions. I think you know that you can't tell people about this."
Naruto shrugged, "What else is new? I'm a walking secret. Am I leading or tagging along for this mission?"
"Does it matter?" Tsunade saw Naruto shake his head before she got an evil smirk on her face, "Now I think the crime of assaulting an entire class of students warrants some kind of punishment. Don't you think brat?"
Naruto's jaw dropped, "Punishment? You punched me in the face and knocked my tooth out! What the hell are you going to do with me now?"
XxX
(Four Hours Later)
"This is bullshit!" Naruto yelled as he speared another piece of trash with his stick and placed it in his bag, "I should be done by now, but you won't let me use any jutsu!"
Slightly out of his way, Shikamaru was laying on one of the hills that Naruto had cleared keeping his eye on his fellow chunin, "Hokage-sama called me to oversee your D-ranks for today and gave me explicit orders to make sure you didn't use any ninjutsu to help you complete the jobs faster, this is the last one for the day so calm down Naruto."
Naruto angrily stalked over to more trash in the park, "You're just alright with this because it's giving you the excuse to do nothing. You lazy bastard…"
Shikamaru yawned as he turned his attention to the clouds, "Troublesome, just finish up so I can stop listening to your complaining. Between you and Ino I can't tell who's worse right now."
Naruto chuckled as he stabbed consecutive pieces of trash, "You should take up drinking. It's done wonders for baa-chan, I don't even bother her that much anymore, sometimes she's totally lucid, you'd love it." As he returned to his work he cursed again, "I'm not even getting paid for this crap… Stupid kids that can't fight their way out of a wet paper bag… That Inuzuka kid dropped like a stone. I thought they were supposed to be good at taijutsu."
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, "It was a class full of seven and eight year-olds."
Naruto pointed his stick at Shikamaru, "Don't make excuses for them!" Naruto closed up the last bags and tossed them on the back of a cart, "Okay, now that hell day is over let's report so I can get hammered."
Shikamaru stood up and the two started towards the Hokage Tower, "You're thirteen Naruto. We're too young to drink."
Naruto flicked the hitae-ate on his belt, "If I can spend all day doing minimum wage jobs and killing people for money I have the right to use that money to purchase liquor. It comes with the status Shikamaru."
"Troublesome…" Shikamaru shook his head as they continued their walk to report in to the mission table.
XxX
Naruto leaned on the counter of the weapons shop owned by Tenten's family while he waited for someone to appear to help him. "Hello Naruto." Naruto lifted his head to see Tenten entering the shop, "Are you here for your sword?"
Naruto nodded and yawned, "Yeah, what? Did you just get back from team training?"
Tenten nodded as she went behind the counter to talk with the scarred boy, "Yep. Gai and Lee said they saw you painting a fence. Why are you doing D-ranked missions? You're a chunin now."
Naruto smirked, "I beat up a class full of kids at the Academy and the Hokage made me do a ton of them. It was great while it lasted… They shouldn't have been talking shit." Naruto noticed a brown haired man coming from the back wiping his hands off, "So, um…Mr. Tenten's dad, how long do you need my sword for. I have a new mission to go on tomorrow, it's the broken ninjato."
Tenten's father reached down behind the counter and picked up a wrapped bundle before placing it on the counter-top, "You paid when you dropped it off right?" Naruto nodded and pulled out a written receipt, "Alright then, she's all yours kid."
Naruto grinned and picked up his sword, testing it out somewhat before sheathing it on his back, "Ahh, I missed this thing. Thanks a lot sir, It's like it never even broke at all." Tenten's dad nodded and headed back to the back.
Tenten pointed at Naruto chidingly as a smile came to her lips, "Don't go breaking it again Naruto. I don't want to see that thing back in here in pieces."
Naruto scoffed, "Yes you do, that's more money for your shop girl. But yeah, it won't break anytime soon. I mean how often will I come across a guy that can make an indestructible bone drill around his arm?" After giving her a two-fingered salute he headed out of the shop for home.
XxX
Naruto went to the only place that he knew there could be no one following him and once again traversed the terrain of the Forest of Death. Once he got himself inside and found a decent clearing he bit his thumb and made his hand-signs for a summoning.
"Who summoned me out here?" As the massive plume of smoke cleared it revealed Gamabunta looking down in front of him to see Naruto standing patiently, "What do you need kid? I told you not to summon me for dumb reasons."
Naruto didn't flinch from the toad's booming voice, "Gamabunta, I'll be straight with you since I know that you know who I really am. Tell me who it is that I look like." He saw Gamabunta almost drop his pipe from his mouth and nodded, "That's what I thought. I knew you knew."
Gamabunta sighed, letting out smoke from his mouth that covered Naruto, "I knew it from the second I saw you gaki. I just felt it wasn't my place to say anything about it, and later when I confronted Jiraiya about it after you first summoned me and blacked out he told me everything about it, even the seals. I mean come on kid, I worked with the man for years and then I end up seeing his chibified version sitting on my head twelve years later? I almost dropped us down that chasm we were stuck in."
Naruto chuckled and lay back on the ground, "So who's ass am I going to kick for this? Jiraiya's I guess… and maybe Kakashi. Did Kakashi know?"
Gamabunta shrugged, "Not sure kid, but he was your old man's student so it wouldn't be a stretch to say he did. But don't do anything rash. You aren't as dumb as I thought you were when we first met so I know that you're fully aware of the reasons why it was kept from you."
Naruto sighed and sat up, "Yeah, yeah. The bullshit with Iwa and anyone else that dad beat up on sending assasins after me, the politicians getting to me to do who knows what once they realized who I was, and all of that coupled with the resentment I would have gotten for being Konoha's jinchuuriki wouldn't have gone over too well for me. Man I need a drink…"
A grin came onto Gamabunta's face, "You remember what I said you had to do with me when you first summoned me?" Naruto's eyes widened as a deep rumbling laugh came from Gamabunta, "Resummon me in 15 minutes gaki. Let's see if you can hold your booze."
XxX
(The Next Day)
Early the next morning Naruto was laying on the couch in Tsunade's office with Shizune running green hands over his head, "What did you do last night Naruto-kun? Why does a thirteen year old need a hangover cure?"
Naruto groaned as the sound of Shizune's voice reverberated through his head like a sledgehammer, "Shizune-neechan… There are some things that you don't need to know about, trust me."
The next moment Tsunade walked through the door and stopped for a moment to stare at her hungover teenage chunin who had her apprentice fretting over him. Shrugging it off as early morning bullcrap she sat down at her desk and pulled up the first piece of her daily paperwork.
She looked up from her work with a quirked eyebrow, "Brat why is there a report on my desk claiming that there were sounds of Gamabunta singing drinking songs at the top of his lungs last night around Training Area 44?" She looked back at the paper and narrowed her eyes, "Also they claim that in a clearing somewhere inside the forest there are around 37 giant spider corpses littering the field. Some were ripped apart, cut clean through, burnt to a crisp, and squashed outright in giant webbed footprints with… Mt. Myoboku Fire-Brand Sake filling up some of the prints?"
Naruto shrugged and held his head, "How do you know the brand?"
"That's on here too." She pointed to the sheet of paper, "Apparently there were around 12 human sized containers strewn about the area."
Naruto smirked to himself as he felt the soothing healing feeling from Shizune's jutsu, "That's some good stuff… Gamabunta's awesome."
Tsunade placed the sheet in the discard pile, shaking her head, "I'm not even going to ask… Why don't you have alcohol poisoning? Nevermind, are you ready for the mission today, or do I have to throw you in jail for being drunk in public?"
Naruto shot up abruptly, "Hey! I was not drunk in public!"
Shizune sweat-dropped, "Naruto-kun I found you blacked out on the top of the building this morning when I came in early."
Naruto scoffed and stood in front of Tsunade's desk, "Hey! I was getting drunk in the woods, Gamabunta threw me into public. I wanted to be drunk in the forest, which is perfectly legal… arrest him."
A sigh came from the elder blonde in the room as she motioned for Naruto to come and listen to her directions, "This is B-ranked. You're escorting a VIP to Kumogakure alongside a team of two other chunin and one jounin. This should take a few weeks at the least and a few months at the longest due to the fact that there will be negotiations between our representative, who you will be travelling with, and the Kumo higher ups."
Naruto nodded, "So this is just one of those 'get experience' kind of things right?" He felt curious however, "So who are we escorting and who do I have on my team?"
A frown came from the blonde Hokage, "You know what? No, I'm not telling you this time. Get your little ass down to mission control to get your assignments. I shouldn't be handling this, I have people that actually get paid to be doing this instead of me."
Naruto stood staring silently for a moment before simply turning around and leaving the office with naught a word. Shizune looked at her mistress in a huff, "Tsunade-sama that was mean. Naruto-kun didn't do anything."
Tsunade looked up from her work and glared slightly, "Yes he did. The brat had twelve cases of Firebrand sake and he didn't even invite me, how rude is that?"
XxX
After receiving his scroll detailing his mission he made his way to the gate to meet his assembled team. By the time he arrived he found three men waiting to depart alongside an elderly man. The first man had brown hair with one bang covering his right eye. He had his hitae-ate on in a bandanna and wore the usual outfit for Konoha shinobi. Naruto knew this man as one of the chunin that usually guarded the main gate of the village, Izumo Kamizuki.
Nearby was his usual partner, Kotetsu Hagane. He had a bandage on his nose, wild spiky black hair and a goatee. He was also dressed in the usual garb of higher-up shinobi.
The final escort out of them was Genma Shiranui, the man that Naruto remembered proctored the final stages of the chunin exam before the invasion. He had brown hair that reached his neck, a bandanna-style hitae-ate that he wore backwards, the standard ninja outfit, and a senbon in his mouth.
The man they were to escort was an older man with grey hair, a beard, glasses and what appeared to be a perpetual frown on his features. Naruto knew this man as one of the Sandaime Hokage's teammates, Homura Mitokado. This was one of the two elders that Naruto didn't like. The old woman, Koharu Utatane, Naruto somewhat liked, she had something of a more group before one person mindset, but when he was an academy student visiting the Hokage she at least treated him like a regular little kid. Back when he was in Root he remembered Danzo telling him when conversations would begin to revolve around him during council meetings and in most of them Homura was biased against Naruto, which was weird since he usually sided with Danzo, however when it came to anything involving Naruto his mindset was to keep him weak. He was against him entering the Academy after the sealing, he was against him graduating after the incident with Mizuki, and he could only imagine how he bitched about Naruto's promotion following the events after the chunin exams.
If ever there was a time for the emotionless mask he harnessed in Root he'd be damned if this wasn't one of those times… Hopefully he wouldn't have to speak to the old man. Naruto walked up to the only jounin out of the group, Genma, to report in, "Chunin Naruto Uzumaki here for escort mission to Kumogakure."
Genma turned a lazy glance to Naruto and smiled as he remembered exactly who it was, "Good to see you again kid. So you're the last member of my team huh?"
The two elder chunin smiled when they saw their young, scar-faced companion. They headed over to Genma and Naruto while Kotetsu waved to him, "Hey Naruto! You're coming on this mission?"
Naruto let the emotion seep back into his eyes when he saw how casual the others were being with him, "Yeah I am. Are you two actually doing something other than watching the gate for once? When was the last time you two even had a mission outside?"
Kotetsu groaned as the bane of his existence, guard duty was brought up, "Don't remind me kid… Izumo seems to think there's nothing wrong with gate-watching, but I say to hell with it, I'd rather be in the field."
Izumo sighed and shook his head, "There's nothing wrong with that job Kotetsu. We're protecting the citizens of Konoha, there isn't a more important job for us to have." He turned to smirk at Naruto, "Maybe we'll get to see you cut loose on this mission. I know you were holding back during your test and nobody saw you beat those Oto ninja that almost killed Genma, so I'm curious as to how you fight."
Genma stepped in to defend himself, "Hey, it was four-on-two. Raido and I were winning before they used their cursed seals… they didn't annihilate us or anything. Anyway, enough chatter, it's time to get on the road." He walked over to Homura, "Elder Homura, my entire team has assembled. Are you prepared to leave?"
Homura's eyes panned across the amassed squad and he nodded to Genma, "Yes, let's set out for Kumo. It should take us around one week to arrive." As they exited the main gate there was a carriage waiting that the elderly man sat inside with Genma seated in the driver's seat.
Kotetsu took up position in the front of the vehicle while Naruto and Izumo went along the sides. The group of chunin ran along in stride with the carriage as they made their way through the countryside. A little while into the trip Naruto let out an audible groan, "Damn it, I never turned off all of the stuff in my house. I never went home last night." He immediately made a Kage Bunshin that went sprinting back the other way.
Hours later the ninja surrounding the carriage started to converse with one another as they stopped for the night. Homura had long since had his tent set up and had retired for the evening. It was mostly Izumo and Kotetsu kicking old stories between them, but for Naruto it was a welcome change from the monotony of simple travel, "Hey Izumo, do you remember back in the Academy when we made those fudgesicles out of dog shit and one of the senseis ate one?"
The man in question snickered at the memory when he recalled who else was in attendance, "Hey Naruto. How did you pull off painting the Hokage Monument in broad daylight? You hadn't even graduated yet and you got past everyone and outran all of the ninja sent to chase you for like an hour."
'I guess I was subconsciously drawing on some of my training in Root when I did that… Huh, I seem to have done that a lot…' Naruto shrugged, "I've done better things than that since then. You guys know about all of the stuff that happened the week before my test?"
Genma decided to speak up from his position on top of the carriage, "Everybody remembers that. There wasn't anyone that knew somebody that got away untouched during that whole thing. Are you saying you did that stuff?"
Naruto grinned and chuckled, "Well when you put it like that it seems like you don't believe me."
Kotetsu almost choked up, "Wait you did do that? How the hell did you go about doing that? Some people said it was probably you since you disappeared, but there were too many hits in too many places at one time for you to do it alone."
Genma shook his head in good humor, "And what exactly is the kid's specialty? Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. I heard he could make a ton of them but something on that scale is ridiculous…"
Naruto waved it off, "Oh it was all in good fun. Everything I did didn't leave any major property damage and at the most required a few good minutes of work to remedy."
Izumo chuckled, "You seriously pissed off the Hyuuga clan with that flashbomb stunt. That was truly priceless."
Genma looked at the group of chunin under his command, "Naruto. We don't know too much about you except for the little bit of you we've seen and I don't like going off of gossip so why don't you tell us a little about yourself. Why did you want to be a ninja in the first place?"
Frowning slightly he thought about what he should say, 'Well, the reason I became a ninja shouldn't really be too surprising considering how I used to be.' He scratched his head, "I guess I can tell you that. You know how you would always hear some loud kid shouting about being Hokage? Well I wasn't always like that. As a matter of fact I didn't give a damn about being Hokage until then. I wanted to be a ninja before that though. The reason was because I just wanted to be acknowledged for something."
He looked around at everyone that was with him, "I know you all know about what I carry and I know you've all at least heard a smattering of remarks about me that aren't too positive. Well, when I was a kid I didn't know why people treated me so badly, but I saw the ninja of this village, and everyone held them in such high regard, and I wanted that. Now I realize how childish that was, but I never regretted anything. I mean, how boring would my life be if I wasn't a ninja, and what else could I have possibly done except be a shinobi of Konoha? I'm its jinchuuriki! What, was I going to be a shopkeeper or something?"
A round of laughs from the adults around him loosened him up a bit when Izumo voiced his own question, "Hey actually I want to know… what's it like holding the Kyuubi? I just couldn't imagine something like that being inside me."
Naruto looked up at the night sky as he thought about an answer, "Well… Aside from the glares, people pulling their kids away from you on the playground and all of that jazz, it's not really bad."
Eyes widened all around when Kotetsu spoke for the group, "Really?"
Naruto nodded, "Yeah, I mean since I've learned about it there are times when Kyuubi just won't shut the hell up about stuff, but other than that little negative aspect there isn't really anything negative that I can think of. I can use chakra three times as potent as human chakra whenever I need to, it's damn near impossible to kill me without a one-shot one-kill maneuver to finish me off with, I heal ridiculously fast from just about everything, and the Kyuubi is a decent source for a different point of view while in combat. If it weren't for all of the village stuff that I have to deal with on a regular basis I would say that it's pretty cool."
The group sat in silent contemplation until a scowl came across Naruto's face, "My Kage Bunshin is an asshole."
"What?" Was the general reaction to such a random statement from around the campsite.
Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, "You know how I sent that clone off to make sure all of my things were turned off at home and everything? Well he didn't dispel after he finished his job, as a matter of fact he spent the entire day doing random shit in my name."
(Flashback)
Naruto's bunshin grumbled as he locked the door to Naruto's apartment after checking the entire house for anything still turned on, "That was a total waste of time and effort. There wasn't anything running up my electric bill in there."
He looked at himself and was about to dispel until he heard a bark and saw Kiba running up to him, Akamaru in tow, with a massive grin on his face, "Naruto, oh man… I just heard about what you did yesterday at the Academy. I want to shake your hand." After grabbing Naruto-clone firmly in a handshake Kiba gestured to go somewhere, "Come on, let's get something to eat I'm starving."
Now being a Kage Bunshin they're only ever treated as the original by mistake. Despite the fact that they are the by-product of chakra manipulation they still think after they are made even after they complete their orders, and the original never ordered this clone to dispel after completion of his task, and he just so happened to be looking at a golden opportunity for a Kage Bunshin.
Clapping Kiba on the shoulder a grin came to his face, "Sure Kiba, let's go. Ichiraku's is cool with you isn't it?"
XxX
(One Hour Later)
Kiba and Akamaru looked on in awe as they saw Naruto-clone put away another bowl of ramen, bringing his total of bowls consumed to a whopping twenty-six. Kiba had only gotten two for himself and a plate of meat for Akamaru, "Dude where are you putting all of that? You should have puked about ten bowls ago."
Naruto polished off another bowl and smirked at the Inuzuka, "My metabolism is absurd." He quickly received another bowl and dove right in.
Kiba had paid off his check for his own food thirty minutes ago, but found himself unable to leave as he watched Naruto scarf down insane amounts of noodles and broth one bowl after another, "You know I wasn't going to pay for your food too, right?"
After finishing off the broth yet again he nodded, "Oh yeah, I've got that handled." Turning his attention to the chef of his favorite meal, clone-Naruto spoke up, "Hey Teuchi-oji. Put this meal on my tab. I'm going on a B-rank mission so I'll be able to pay it off easily once I get back in the village."
Teuchi turned to the clone and nodded, "You've got it Naruto. As long as you pay me it's okay."
'Naruto' grinned and gave him a thumbs up, "Don't worry, I promise I'll pay. And I never go back on my word old man."
XxX
In Iruka's classroom the kids were silently taking notes on his lecture. He was amazed; in all the years he had been teaching he had never had a class completely attentive before. But here 100% of the class was quiet and writing. He figured Naruto must have given them all shell-shock yesterday.
Iruka's attention was broken when the slide of a door opened up and he heard a collective gasp go up among the students, most with looks of horror on their faces. Iruka turned to see the grinning face of 'Naruto', "Naruto what are you doing here? You're lucky no one's parents put a restraining order on you yet."
Naruto-clone's grin only got wider, "Well Iruka-sensei, I felt something was missing yesterday, so…" He turned his attention to the same little Inuzuka boy from yesterday, "I brought my sword!"
The kids all eyed any exit they thought would allow them to escape quickly enough when the sound of metal sliding from a sheath rang out. Suddenly all eyes turned to Naruto-clone, "I haven't even tested it out since I got it back. Who wants to help me? Last person in the classroom volunteers."
In a rush of little feet, shouting, and piling through entrances, the room cleared of all life except 'Naruto' and Iruka. Iruka simply palmed his forehead and sighed, "You enjoy yourself?"
Naruto-clone nodded in satisfaction, "Yeah, I guess that will do. Catch you later Iruka-sensei." With that he shunshined out of the classroom.
XxX
Tsunade was returning to her office following her lunch break. Not really looking forward to continuing her monotonous business of reading and signing paperwork she was looking forward to Shizune's post-lunch slump. Shizune normally would prevent Tsunade from even getting near a sip of sake during the day, apparently able to smell it out like a bloodhound, but the blonde with ample cleavage had deduced that there was a lull in her dark haired apprentice's alertness for a ten minute span following lunch every day.
Smiling to herself as she took a seat behind her desk she reached into a drawer for her workplace stash. Pulling up the containers of alcohol she noticed they felt extremely light. Attempting to pour some straight into her mouth she caught not a drop from either bottle. As she angrily chucked the empty sake bottles across the room she looked inside the drawer to find a note scribbled out hastily.
Hey baa-chan!
Did you know you had two bottles of sake in your desk? Don't worry I took care of it for you, it may be an inebriating beverage, but man does it hit the spot! But such a drink isn't becoming of a Hokage on the job, therefore I did you a favor and downed the whole thing for you, both of them. No need to thank me, the knowledge of a job well done and the fact that you can now work without being tempted by the deliciousness that was your formerly full bottles of sake is all the acknowledgement I need.
Love, Naruto Uzumaki.
P.S. Your Anbu are ridiculously easy to distract, did you know that?
Tsunade crumpled up the note and radiated killing intent so strong the civilians walking outside the tower started sweating from it, "GODDAMN YOU BRAT!"
(Flashback End)
"And then my clone spent the rest of his existence drunk dialing random numbers on the phone back at home, throwing firecrackers at Gai and Lee while they were training, and getting kicked out of a general store for trying to play the drums that were set up on display. I don't think I can go back into that store anymore… But, yeah… the clone got a wild hair up his ass and thought that he still had beef with the spiders in the Forest of Death so he went in there yelling and challenging them to a duel, and then he died."
Silence reigned over the camp until all of the men busted out laughing. Even the Kyuubi, who had seen everything the clone had done after it dispelled, was laughing. Naruto waited for the laughter to die down, "How the hell do I know all of that?"
All humor vanished at his question as Genma answered him, "You mean you don't know? Anything your Kage Bunshin does comes back to you in memory. You honestly never realized that before?"
Naruto shook his head and Genma nodded, "Yeah, they say that it's a cool way to train, because anything your clone learns you will get back when you dispel it. It all goes into your head. No one uses it though because no one, even most jounin, can use anymore than one to three of them safely. Hey kid, how many can you make?"
"Upwards of one-thousand."
"Ahh."
Naruto blinked, "Wait a goddamn minute… I could've been getting my mega-train on since the day I became a genin and I'm just now learning this? Who else knew about this?"
Kotetsu raised his hand, "I knew. Kakashi told me a few years ago when I ran into him on a training field."
Naruto fumed, "Kakashi knew? Kakashi knew and he didn't fucking tell me? He was my damn sensei for a year and he couldn't even tell me that? I'm going to kick his ass when we get back to Konoha for that!"
Naruto stood up and stomped off into the distance. Genma, being the squad leader, had to ask where he was going, "Hey Naruto, where are you going?"
Naruto didn't even turn his head when he yelled back, "Anger management!"
The men all shrugged and prepared to settle in for the night. The majority of the evening you could hear explosions and sounds of metal clashing out in the distance.
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