章 9: The Blade, Not The Right Tool For That Job

I got the fire started with minimal risk to my life being applied. Jilly had thrown a couple of the long boards at me, but they went wide, completely missing me.

"Look, the more you mess around with your vain attempts to kill me, the longer it will take to get the meat down," I said as I walked over to the fallen Rock Troll that I had killed.

"Mmm, maybe, but you have yet to show me anything that would make me less likely to want to eat you," Jilly said while looking at me hungrily and licking her lips.

I ignored her; I was already having enough trouble as it was concentrating with Mary on my back. She had started licking the back of my neck, and I was having trouble staying focused as I walked over to the corpse.

This was the hard part now, and I needed to get the meaning of this thing quickly before Jilly decides that she doesn't want to wait for the meat. This woman was getting worse and worse as time went on, and I didn't want to keep relying on Mary to keep me from being eaten.

"Ooo, the Troll stinks! Do you really think burning it will make it less smelly?" Mary asked, after taking a break from licking my neck.

"I can't make promises, but I know that there are a couple different kinds of meat that are poisonous if you try to eat it raw or if it hasn't been cooked properly. This meat seems like it will follow the same rules, so we'll just have to wait and see," I said as I cut a large portion of the monster's thigh up with my fancy knife.

The twelve-centimeter-long blade was beyond weird now. When I had pulled the knife out from my back belt, the blade started to peel like sheets of paper.

I was shocked at first and almost tossed the damn thing like I had just realized I had pulled a snake from behind my back and not a rabbit. I had a snake glued to me, so that analogy has kind of puttered, so I held on to the knife for a moment longer, and the rustling blades seemed to calm down.

I had approached the thigh of the monster and went to go skin the hairy thigh of the monster, the parts that weren't rock were covered in three centimeter long bristly gray hairs. I cut all the way around just above the knee and split a line down the top to be able to cut the hairy skin off just like any animal I had skinned.

As I started to skin it, the blade flayed apart again but then started to extend like ribbons. The knife split into four sections, and when I started to pull it through and around the leg, it was like cutting butter with barely any resistance.

Once I had finished making a complete circuit around, the meat sagged off the bone in three wavy-cut sheets. I moved about fifty centimeters up and then scooped up the stinking meat, which was smelling markedly worse than before now that the blood and flesh were exposed.

I was feeling less confident about my ability to make this taste better, but I could feel something dripping on my shoulder where Mary was resting her chin. I turned my head to find her cute face drooling dribbles of drool down on me.

I would have wiped her face, but my hands were covered in the stinking Troll blood, so I just let her be. Maybe just getting rid of the hair and skin made it almost edible to them, but I had to stop Jilly as she approached with more dry wood to throw on the fire.

"Hey! Wait, don't put more wood on here yet. The fire has finally burned down now," I told Jilly as she dropped the wood and glared at me.

"It's not making fire anymore; how are you supposed to burn the meat if there is no fire?" Jilly growled at me.

I just waved her off and collected some saplings that had been knocked down in her attempt on my life. After gathering six long and fresh ones that wouldn't burn quickly, I pulled my knife back out and tried to hack off the extra small branch on each one.

Tried was the keyword here. My new fancy knife wasn't having any part of it and actually twisted or bent out of the way every time I tried to hack a branch off.

"What the heck, what is your problem, knife?" I asked the writhing blade, not really expecting an answer.

In response, the blade fanned out into multiple blades and then extended towards the meat. I watched as the blade began dissecting the meat, cutting, and lifting out the thick blood-filled veins with the precision of a surgeon.

I just stood dumbly with my arm out at the blade, prepared the meat, and then stabbed the piss out of it after tenderizing it. The left side of my shirt where Mary was resting was soaked, and I kept having to bat away snake tongues that were getting too close to my ears.

Finally, the blade finished its handy work, and I was left with a pile for roughly five by twenty-five-centimeter steaks. After putting the blade away, I pulled out the fire sword, hacked off the offending limbs on my saplings, and set them across the fire.

I had moved stones to set them on, so there was up just a bit, then I tossed the steaks on that were only smelling slightly rancid. After watching the blade to all the work, I was getting hungry.

I tossed the steaks onto the fire and lined things all up. Jilly was hovering over me as she did, but she wasn't bothering me, just watching with interest.

The meat began to sizzle, and soon all traces of the rancid smell were gone. Cooking meats replaced that, and even my mouth started to sliviatate.

"Isss It'sss donesss yetsss!?" Mary hissed with drool, now reaching my mud and blood cover pants, but she was still fucking cute.

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