章 4: Reflection
Anne woke up with a massive headache.
"Ugh."
She felt disoriented, she touched her head trying to massage the pain away. She slowly stood up while holding the armrest of the couch. However, she suddenly felt the urge to vomit. She took a couple of steps but could not get fast enough to the kitchen sink.
"Blurgh cough cough"
Her body was bent as she vomited what her stomach had last night, which wasn't much. She did not eat much yesterday or the day prior to that. She ate less and less as her worries and stress piled up.
She could not sleep at night as she kept staring at the door waiting for her husband's return. But now there was no need to wait as he will never come back.
She looked at her dirty floor covered with filth, she did not know when was the last time she cleaned the house. She had no motivation to do anything so she indulged herself in alcohol to escape reality.
Drowning herself in alcohol was the only she could forget and relax.
They did not have a maid to keep the house clean. It was not because of financial matters but due to their own preference. They decided to do everything themselves and spend the time together doing chores.
A maid was not necessary, is what they thought. Either way, it was a small apartment with only 2 rooms. One master's bedroom with a bath and walk-in closet, a smaller bedroom, a living room, a dining room, a kitchen with a bathroom and a laundry room and finally a small balcony outside.
At the time, they both thought that a house with the two of them together would be better, while doing everything together can strengthen their relationship. Timothy was a great cook who always prepared healthy food instead of take-outs. Their diet was well-balanced for their body's needs.
She always thought that this kind of thoughtfulness was what made her fall in love with him. She was always busy with work and her food depended on the location of their shoots. It wasn't always healthy and nutritious so he took it upon himself to make Anne eat a healthy meal when they were together. Although Timothy's schedule was also hectic, he still had more time compared to her. While Timothy cooked she was cleaning the house and putting the laundry in the machine.
It was perfect.
They thought having a maid would ruin that little sanctuary they made as husband and wife. It was their own little castle that the two believed is where they could start their own family. The smaller room was in preparation for when they have their child, but that never came to fruition. This was the first obstacle they had as a married couple. Her husband had always talked about having their own children in the future, but reality played a bitter role as that wish was taken away from them.
She was devastated when she first found out. Anne was willing to put her career to a halt to start a family, even when her agent and company were against it, she did not mind. But she could not get pregnant.
In the end, there was nothing they both could do as they went from one doctor to another to get a glimpse of hope. She thought her husband would leave her but instead he supported her. He said he understood and nothing between them will change. And nothing did change, at that time.
They continued to live in the apartment like a newly-wedded couple. They stopped talking about it and in time the smaller bedroom turned into a study room.
She looked around the apartment once more.
The high-rise building had expensive apartment units that prioritized the safety and the privacy of its owners. No one can easily enter the premises. This was the reason they bought it as Anne's fame was starting to rise, the paparazzi also started to stalk her.
In the end, she was glad they made that decision.
Even now, it came with more benefits especially after her accident as the paparazzi came in droves as they snoop around.
"Grumble"
Anne's stomach grumbled from remembering her husband's delicious cooking. She was about to head to the refrigerator when she realized there was not any food left in there. It had been weeks since the last time she went to the grocery. She remembered she stocked up with alcohol but not much on food items since Timothy was the one who bought most of the food. All she did was call for take-outs recently.
Instead of heading for the kitchen, she went back to the living room to call for a take-out delivery from a restaurant near them. After dialing the number and ordering what she wanted, she hung up the phone and looked around the house.
It was dirty and filthy with garbage scattered everywhere.
The smell of vomit, alcohol and cigarettes permeated the house. The curtains were all drawn as the stagnant air drifts in the room.
Anne was looking at the sight of her house.
"The house is disgusting." She thought to herself.
While looking around she saw her face from the full-length mirror hanging on the wall. This caused her to frown as she looked at the image reflected in the mirror.
Her hair was bedraggled, like a bird took upon itself to build a comfortable nest on her head, her eyes are dark and deep with circles, her clothes are wrinkled and when she brought it close to her nose, she could not help but wrinkle her nose from the smell. She was pale as a ghost while her figure was thin and undernourished.
When was the last time she took care of herself?
The person reflected on the mirror was different from the image she used to see. It was the complete opposite of what she was used to be.
She remembered the line from the tabloids, "Falling from grace, once a goddess now a mortal."
Looking at herself she thought how appropriate those words were. She let herself go and this was the result.
She slowly approached the mirror.
One step at a time.
Disregarding the clutter or glass scattered on the floor even though she was barefoot. Her sole focus was the person reflected on the mirror.
Slow small steps like a baby trying to walk for the first time.
Her head was pounding from the hangover and yet she did not seem to care or mind. Her mind was too pre-occupied by the reflection.
She reached out her one hand while walking and she stood face to face to the mirror.
She looked at herself carefully, using her hand to draw the outline of her current self.
She stopped midway as she woke up for her trance. This time she looked at her reflection with disdain and self-reproach.
"You are disgusting."
She stops staring at the mirror but looks at herself once more.
"Is this how you want to spend your life?"
Her eyes turned aggressive and her hand turned into a fist.
With all her might she punched the mirror on the wall.
*crack*
Spider webs formed from the crack she made with her fist. Her fist was bleeding from the impact and the shards of glass that got stuck to her skin.
*clink clink clink crash*
Slowly the spider web cracks crawled little by little as the glass fell to the floor with a crash.
Anne was staring at the reflection on the mirror when the spider web cracks formed, till her image distorted and the mirror scattered to pieces. She kept staring at the scene in front of her, she felt everything moved like a slow-motion scene from a movie.
Now all she could see was the empty frame of the mirror where it used to be placed.
Empty.
Just like her.
She was just like the mirror with nothing more but a frame filled with emptiness inside.
She stopped facing the wall and started to walk back. She headed for the bathroom to clean herself up. Her hand was hurting from the shards of glass, her feet were bleeding from stepping on the glass, but she still did not care. Everything was fleeting feelings that she knew would pass. She went into the bathtub and filled it with warm water.
She used her hand to play with the water as it formed waves of water clashing on the tub. But once her hand touched the falling water from the faucet…
"Ouch"
It hurts.
Her hand hurts.
Her foot hurts.
Her head hurts.
She cried and bawled inside the bathroom. The sound of the running water and her crying melded together which covered the sound of the despairing woman all alone in her bathroom.
Orignal novel By Chuchuwachuwa.
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