/ Anime & Comics / MHA: Second chance
概要
A very young boy, dying of an incurable disease, only dreams that his torment would end sooner. But instead of a sad end, his life begins again, in another world. A mysterious girl in black has changed the boy's fate. Allowing his dreams to come true! Given a second chance, what will the boy who never had anything do? In a world where there are heroes! Villains! Quirks! And even catgirls (bunnygirls and more =))!
Some more tags: Anal sex, First time, Incest, Group sex, Mary Sue, Genderswap.
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rough writing, there are no misspellings, but he doesn't separate talking of different characters. So the readers don't know where the talking ends and the thinking begins. Need to put space between paragraphs and personaly I would prefer if you put the dialogue of different characters in different paragraphs. cool idea just needs improvement in writing quality
Writing quality: it's hard to understand anything. story development: iIcouldnt reach past chapter 4 cuz of how bad his English is. character design: same updating stability:idk world background:couldn't reach. if you don't want to think about every word the author has written, then this story isn't for you.
The story is average in many ways. The interactions between characters and the plot are a bit rushed. As a result, it is suitable for one-time reading.
Some constructive criticism that hopefully helps/comes off respectfully. The current writing is immensely uncomfortable to read, difficult to follow and requires more focus to understand what is apart of a conversation and what's being thought. You should stick to a format with dialogue. (Then you can make a Legend at the start of the first chapter) Like using " " for all audible noise, i.e. spoken words, Audio signals like "Crash" "Boom" ect. And using ' ' for dialogue that wasn't spoken aloud and just thought in the characters' head. Also having the characters name at the start of the sentence to make it easy to follow. -All Might: "PLUS ULTRA!!!" The story/characters act similarly to a cultivation Manhwa, from reading up-to Chapter 6 it's quite illogical for some literary agent to track down a 4 year old and beat up orphans like some Yakuza boss. In the MHA world this type of thing wouldn't happen in the open so easily. (Also she's not exactly in the position of power to act so high & mighty, she's a literary agent..not the agent from The Matrix) This follows Cultivation Manhwa's villains being unnecessarily evil and stupid for the sake of having another villain to hate. This could have progressed fluidly by the agent acting like a normal agent and supporting the MC which would get him out of the orphanage.
What are your opinions?