章 54: 4.8
Time: In flux
Location: Time Warp.
I can now say with absolute certainty, time travel is disorienting and wrong. As I dry retch over the side of the Time Ship for the third time. It messes with my magnetic senses something fierce. Maybe through my connection to the global magnetic field.
When we finally arrive at the chosen location I spend a good half an hour just trying to recover.
Hourman seems sympathetic, but not really capable of understanding. The difference between being able to empathise and being able to feel the emotion. He's a good imitation of a human, but clearly not quite there.
The exit point is unmistakable, we are above Gotham. It's dark and depressing.
Urgh. At this point, I just want to go home. I'm tired. My holiday has been anything but relaxing. My original plan was to tour around, but after Black Adam I'm soured on the idea. I got lucky there, I might not the next time.
Best to sort out my business and get the heck out of dodge.
"This is the point that you are once more tracked in the timeline, according to your disappearance." Hourman announced.
Oh joy. Just in time to make me suffer the Robin Paradox.
"Do both Robin and the Joker exist later?" I ask.
Hourman looks at me. He folds his arms. "I cannot answer those questions, this would disrupt the timeline."
"Damn..." I grit out. That would be a cop out, wouldn't it? Using future knowledge.
"I will keep the Time Cube, it is too volatile to be in your hands." Hourman adds.
As much as I want to argue, if it was a magnetic artefact I'd be pulling rank too.
"Fine. Thanks for the save, at any rate. I owe you one." I respond, defeated.
"I will be in touch." He handed me a business card. "When email exists, use this address to contact me."
Hourman@future.com … okay, that's neat. I wave farewell and float down towards the eternal twilight of Gotham. The ship sets sail, vanishing into a portal that I really shouldn't have looked too closely at. I think I taste colours now.
...
Oh, good the synthesia wore off. Temporary side effect to looking at the Blind Eternities or whatever that place was outside of time and space?
For now… food. Twentieth century food. My mouth is watering at the thought of all those spices and salt I've been missing for the past few months… in a different era.
I settle for a hotdog. At least my wallet remained unviolated by Savage, unlike my toothbrush.
Siting on a bench, I watched all the people pass us. Those who didn't stare at me and my floating baggage, anyway. Oh, wait there is something else interesting them.
"...don't you even try to run or I'll ketchup to you! Then it's..." A man in a very badly made costume with a gadget gun rambled as he came toward the hotdog stand.
Oh, god. It is who I think it is, right?
"...Condiment King demands your money, or eat my hot sauce!" he yelled, waving what was in effect a water pistol.
I squeezed the bridge of my nose. This isn't my business. This isn't my…
"YOU! Give Condiment King the respect he deserves or he serves you up some extra spicy mustard!" He shouts, noticing me.
I sigh. Fine. If that's how it is. I'm stuck dealing with a serial nuisance.
I seal him in a barrier.
Ahh. Much better. His silence as he yells at the top of his voice. The fact his sprays are trapped in there. He tries to hammer the wall down, but human strength couldn't break that.
I return to eating my hotdog, modifying the barrier to briefly borrow some mustard from one of his sprays.
He seems a bit down by this point, but I'm not here to put up with his bullshit.
Finally he loses consciousness as the air runs out, dropping into a pool of his own condiments. I release the barrier and leave his snoring, filthy ass where he lay on the pavement for the police.
Satisfied I begin to fly away, waiting on the nearest roof to only ensure the police pick him up first.
The human who enters my senses at a relatively fast pace and near silence has my attention. As he comes close to my back I respond first.
"Batman." I announce. After all, who else but perhaps Catwoman is roaming the city rooftops in Gotham?
"Magnus." he responds trying to do his gruff voice. "Chosen name, according to an interview based on your respect for a personage of the same name? A reference to Charlemagne I believe."
"Mhmm. That's my name, but the rest is wrong. So is this the part where you warn me off your turf?" I asked facetiously.
"Yes. This is my city." He answered.
"I'm willing to bet, the other few million residents would disagree with your exclusive control over it's occupants. Besides, I handled that little scuffle neatly and cleanly… in a manner of speaking. However, there are two factors you fail to consider. First of all, my reasons for being in this city and secondly, your capacity to remove me if I didn't wish to leave." I shrug.
"What is your purpose in this city?" He demands.
"Why is that any business of yours?" I ask.
He moved close to grab at my shoulder. He touches only a barrier.
"I'm afraid you need a reality check, you see you fight men on the streets every night? I fight monsters that destroy buildings with their fists, natural disasters and entire criminal organisations. I don't need stealth, I don't need gadgets and I do not need to physically touch a man to destroy him like a bug. Have I made myself clear, Mr Brute Force?" I growl.
I was prepared for the tiny explosive device he planted next to my barrier. With a shrug I EMP'd the thing.
"Electronics? Useless against me." I added.
I turned abruptly, as I floated slightly above the roof.
He tensed up at the sudden movement.
Nice costume, very intimidating. I can see what a few billion brings to the table for design. No bat nipples, thank Fenris. The glare doesn't work too well though, maybe because I know who the real person behind it is or perhaps because Dad's glare still haunts me far more.
I dropped my barrier.
"Let's make this sporting, shall we? I am not currently using my barrier. Feel free to incapacitate me, as is your want. If you can." I shrug. "For what, I cannot imagine? Do you assault everyone who enters the city? Is it a racial discrimination thing? I had no idea there were Vlatavan hate groups, but this is America… so..."
"Why are you in my city?!" He demanded, ignoring the jibe.
"My business. It doesn't involve Batman, at any rate." I chuckled. "Do you allow others to know your private business? Because then I might reciprocate if you share."
"You will leave when your business is done and not antagonise the criminals." He growled.
"Well the first point is kind of a given, since I don't live here and wouldn't ever want to reside in this toilet of a city. The other is more of a case by case basis. They leave me and innocent civilians alone, I don't make them fear my name." I grin.
"Are you entirely sane?" He asked.
"Says the man dressed as a bat to the man casually violating physics. If I were you, I'd be questioning my own sanity first. I am sober. As a teenager should be." Pausing to yawn, I stretch. "But enough idle chitchat. I'm time-lagged and tired. Right now I just want a hotel room and a bed." I stopped. "Unless you want to continue your futile attempts to subdue me? It was mildly entertaining."
Huh? Where did he...
Oh, he's trying to disappear on me. Isn't that cute.
"I can still sense you!" I yell toward his current location. "Stealth doesn't work on me!"
After a good sleep and some time waiting I hustled into Wayne Enterprises and was sent to my meeting with Bruce Wayne.
His expression as I entered the room was priceless. Sheer surprise, since the meeting was under my business name Magnets and Magic. He began to fall into a combat stance but caught himself at the last moment.
Ahh. So worth the effort of winding him up first.
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