Time: In flux
Location: Time Warp.
I can now say with absolute certainty, time travel is disorienting and wrong. As I dry retch over the side of the Time Ship for the third time. It messes with my magnetic senses something fierce. Maybe through my connection to the global magnetic field.
When we finally arrive at the chosen location I spend a good half an hour just trying to recover.
Hourman seems sympathetic, but not really capable of understanding. The difference between being able to empathise and being able to feel the emotion. He's a good imitation of a human, but clearly not quite there.
The exit point is unmistakable, we are above Gotham. It's dark and depressing.
Urgh. At this point, I just want to go home. I'm tired. My holiday has been anything but relaxing. My original plan was to tour around, but after Black Adam I'm soured on the idea. I got lucky there, I might not the next time.
Best to sort out my business and get the heck out of dodge.
"This is the point that you are once more tracked in the timeline, according to your disappearance." Hourman announced.
Oh joy. Just in time to make me suffer the Robin Paradox.
"Do both Robin and the Joker exist later?" I ask.
Hourman looks at me. He folds his arms. "I cannot answer those questions, this would disrupt the timeline."
"Damn..." I grit out. That would be a cop out, wouldn't it? Using future knowledge.
"I will keep the Time Cube, it is too volatile to be in your hands." Hourman adds.
As much as I want to argue, if it was a magnetic artefact I'd be pulling rank too.
"Fine. Thanks for the save, at any rate. I owe you one." I respond, defeated.
"I will be in touch." He handed me a business card. "When email exists, use this address to contact me."
Hourman@future.com … okay, that's neat. I wave farewell and float down towards the eternal twilight of Gotham. The ship sets sail, vanishing into a portal that I really shouldn't have looked too closely at. I think I taste colours now.
...
Oh, good the synthesia wore off. Temporary side effect to looking at the Blind Eternities or whatever that place was outside of time and space?
For now… food. Twentieth century food. My mouth is watering at the thought of all those spices and salt I've been missing for the past few months… in a different era.
I settle for a hotdog. At least my wallet remained unviolated by Savage, unlike my toothbrush.
Siting on a bench, I watched all the people pass us. Those who didn't stare at me and my floating baggage, anyway. Oh, wait there is something else interesting them.
"...don't you even try to run or I'll ketchup to you! Then it's..." A man in a very badly made costume with a gadget gun rambled as he came toward the hotdog stand.
Oh, god. It is who I think it is, right?
"...Condiment King demands your money, or eat my hot sauce!" he yelled, waving what was in effect a water pistol.
I squeezed the bridge of my nose. This isn't my business. This isn't my…
"YOU! Give Condiment King the respect he deserves or he serves you up some extra spicy mustard!" He shouts, noticing me.
I sigh. Fine. If that's how it is. I'm stuck dealing with a serial nuisance.
I seal him in a barrier.
Ahh. Much better. His silence as he yells at the top of his voice. The fact his sprays are trapped in there. He tries to hammer the wall down, but human strength couldn't break that.
I return to eating my hotdog, modifying the barrier to briefly borrow some mustard from one of his sprays.
He seems a bit down by this point, but I'm not here to put up with his bullshit.
Finally he loses consciousness as the air runs out, dropping into a pool of his own condiments. I release the barrier and leave his snoring, filthy ass where he lay on the pavement for the police.
Satisfied I begin to fly away, waiting on the nearest roof to only ensure the police pick him up first.
The human who enters my senses at a relatively fast pace and near silence has my attention. As he comes close to my back I respond first.
"Batman." I announce. After all, who else but perhaps Catwoman is roaming the city rooftops in Gotham?
"Magnus." he responds trying to do his gruff voice. "Chosen name, according to an interview based on your respect for a personage of the same name? A reference to Charlemagne I believe."
"Mhmm. That's my name, but the rest is wrong. So is this the part where you warn me off your turf?" I asked facetiously.
"Yes. This is my city." He answered.
"I'm willing to bet, the other few million residents would disagree with your exclusive control over it's occupants. Besides, I handled that little scuffle neatly and cleanly… in a manner of speaking. However, there are two factors you fail to consider. First of all, my reasons for being in this city and secondly, your capacity to remove me if I didn't wish to leave." I shrug.
"What is your purpose in this city?" He demands.
"Why is that any business of yours?" I ask.
He moved close to grab at my shoulder. He touches only a barrier.
"I'm afraid you need a reality check, you see you fight men on the streets every night? I fight monsters that destroy buildings with their fists, natural disasters and entire criminal organisations. I don't need stealth, I don't need gadgets and I do not need to physically touch a man to destroy him like a bug. Have I made myself clear, Mr Brute Force?" I growl.
I was prepared for the tiny explosive device he planted next to my barrier. With a shrug I EMP'd the thing.
"Electronics? Useless against me." I added.
I turned abruptly, as I floated slightly above the roof.
He tensed up at the sudden movement.
Nice costume, very intimidating. I can see what a few billion brings to the table for design. No bat nipples, thank Fenris. The glare doesn't work too well though, maybe because I know who the real person behind it is or perhaps because Dad's glare still haunts me far more.
I dropped my barrier.
"Let's make this sporting, shall we? I am not currently using my barrier. Feel free to incapacitate me, as is your want. If you can." I shrug. "For what, I cannot imagine? Do you assault everyone who enters the city? Is it a racial discrimination thing? I had no idea there were Vlatavan hate groups, but this is America… so..."
"Why are you in my city?!" He demanded, ignoring the jibe.
"My business. It doesn't involve Batman, at any rate." I chuckled. "Do you allow others to know your private business? Because then I might reciprocate if you share."
"You will leave when your business is done and not antagonise the criminals." He growled.
"Well the first point is kind of a given, since I don't live here and wouldn't ever want to reside in this toilet of a city. The other is more of a case by case basis. They leave me and innocent civilians alone, I don't make them fear my name." I grin.
"Are you entirely sane?" He asked.
"Says the man dressed as a bat to the man casually violating physics. If I were you, I'd be questioning my own sanity first. I am sober. As a teenager should be." Pausing to yawn, I stretch. "But enough idle chitchat. I'm time-lagged and tired. Right now I just want a hotel room and a bed." I stopped. "Unless you want to continue your futile attempts to subdue me? It was mildly entertaining."
Huh? Where did he...
Oh, he's trying to disappear on me. Isn't that cute.
"I can still sense you!" I yell toward his current location. "Stealth doesn't work on me!"
After a good sleep and some time waiting I hustled into Wayne Enterprises and was sent to my meeting with Bruce Wayne.
His expression as I entered the room was priceless. Sheer surprise, since the meeting was under my business name Magnets and Magic. He began to fall into a combat stance but caught himself at the last moment.
Ahh. So worth the effort of winding him up first.
Time: Early Afternoon.
Location: Gotham, Bruce Wayne's Office, Wayne Enterprises.
"Good afternoon, Mr Wayne." I say with a huge, shit-eating grin. "May I call you Bruce? I feel like I know you so well, despite how we have just met face to face for the first time."
He frowns for a moment before putting on his act.
"That would be fine. Please, Mr Magnus this is quite a surprise. To meet such a… famous person… like this is quite a shock. What may Wayne Enterprises do for you?" He asked, with a genial tone as he sized me up.
"In this case, it is instead what can I offer Wayne Enterprises." I chuckled. "My offer is exclusive access to technology that is well ahead of almost anyone, short of aliens. I want your company to develop it, to bring it to humanity."
"As wonderful sounding as this goal is, what are you offering? You make your offer sound like this is ground breaking." He retorted, sceptically.
"Please, look at this." I placed a design on the desk. Since he was 'forgetting' to offer me a seat I reclined in mid air as I waited. It raised an eyebrow, but he was focused on the design.
"What is this?" He asked.
"Anti-gravity engine." I replied.
"An anti-gravity drive… are you serious?!" He demanded, angrily. "Is this some kind of prank?!"
"Look closely. It is real. It is merely one of the things I wish your company to develop for the world market. The French Government is ready to place an order for military designs you make from this first generation device. They merely need to see your proposal. Likewise, I can also give you access to the plans for a scaled down nuclear fusion reactor, an energy based propulsion engine which can be paired with the reactor for space exploration and several computer components over fifty generations ahead of current models." I placed the designs for each on the desk as I spoke. To Bruce's amazement. "What I ask for in return is five percent of all profit from the devices and any derivative designs using them or their technology. With a sample of each for me to play with. I know the designs will be hard to make as they are, the exotic metals used in their construction are rare on Earth. But in space they are common. Which will not be a problem. For half the price of the materials retrieved I am prepared to venture out into space and return with an asteroid for you to mine in orbit." I smiled and did the classic Gendo Ikari pose. "Production facilities are equally difficult I imagine. The factories will need to be redesigned and new facilities made to cope with these new technologies and their production. I want two of these new factories/facilities built in France and staffed locally."
Bruce seemed to be almost tongue tied. "This… what do you gain from these concessions?"
"Didn't I just say? Five percent and some good PR in France. Plus half the material cost of the asteroid… which should still be immense for a few hours effort. Rare Earth metals can be quite expensive." I shrug. "Other than that, nothing really. This is a long term investment in humanity. I have high hopes your company can deliver them."
Poor Bruce. He seems out of his depth as he asked: "Where did these come from?"
"Confiscated by the French Government and ownership gifted to me. The original owner is a deceased criminal super genius inventor." I explained.
"The Brain." He said, on reflex.
"Correct. Of course I am curious how you know that name." I teased.
"Uh..." He started to make excuses.
"Don't fret, I have an idea how you know." I waved the awkwardness away. "I'll be in Gotham for another night, be sure to have anyone you trust check out the designs. Of course I expect some tough security, I mean if I see this technology on the streets in the hands of masked criminals I might be a trifle miffed. The pair of baseline human clowns last night was more than enough."
He grits his teeth behind me as I begin to float out the room.
I shrug. "Oh, be careful out there Mr Wayne. There is a vigilante dressed like a chiroptera on the streets that can't tell the difference between law abiding people and criminals… I mean what kind of idiot attacks an obviously benign superhuman?" I smile as he shuffles uncomfortably, not quite sure whether to continue the playboy act.
"Besides why would anyone trust a man who hides his true face?" I smiled. "There are no masks on me. I am merely myself, yet I still received such suspicion. Clearly the man is paranoid." I turn to face him as I exit the room. "Well, to be fair. If he were to really push my buttons I wouldn't have let him escape. But it isn't as if I can't identify him by his brain waves. See you around… Bruce Wayne."
There we go… that last one really got to him. Yes, Brucy I know who you are and I don't care.
Back to touring the worst city in the US.
The city is like a caricature. An hour. An hour is all it takes for me to detect a mugging. At a few hundred metres. As I sip on a soda I crumple the pistol and beat the criminal around the face with it a few times as the victim escapes. Still less violent than Batman.
Taking buses to places that sound familiar, like the narrows isn't a spectacular plan. But it works to waste time.
Of course the thugs that jam a pistol in my ribs and tell me that their boss wants a word are also interesting. Who can it be? I let them march me into a car and wait as they drive us to somewhere new. As they do I engage them in idle chatter. I've always been curious, what does professional thug pay? Surprisingly little I find.
The door opens and I am ushered into a club.
Penguin? Oh, I hope it's Penguin!
"Hello, I'm Fish Mooney. Delighted to meet you, Magnus." An eye catching woman purred as she offered me a hand to shake.
"I'm sorry… who are you, again? I couldn't hear you over your inconsequence." I asked.
Yet another small fish. What a let down. First Condiment King and now this. Gotham really does suck the joy out of life.