章 5: to Love-ru (2)
"I assume both of you want an explanation about what just happened? Right now?" I asked to Haruna and Lala. After the last Heartless was killed I quickly pulled the three of us away from the site of the battle, since I wasn't in the mood to indulge the questioning of curious adults. Alien shenanigans at school or during the night was one thing, but a magical battle against eldritch beings right in the morning? I was so not going to risk it. "Even if it means being late for school?"
Who need a perfect record anyway?
Do not try this at home kids: I have cheats, you don't.
"I have no idea what a 'school' is, but I'm really curious about those Heartless things!" Lala enthusiastically declared.
"...Me too." Haruna shyly added before gasping quietly and waving her hands in denial. "I mean, being late to school is bad! But with everything that happened it should be alright if we take some time to calm down, right? Just once is fine. I mean, it's not like we're ditching or something, right?"
I chuckled at the black-haired girl's panic before raising a hand and smiling in a reassuring manner. "Don't worry Sairenji-san, we're not ditching. Alright, where to begin..." I scratched my chin, thinking how to explain the situation without lying. Too much, anyway.
"Someone needs a believable story that's not, strictly speaking, a lie?" Killua asked with a tone that made it obvious he already knew the answer.
'Yes. Please help this helpless one Killua-sama.' I answered with a deadpan tone.
The white-haired assassin laughed loudly before, finally, proceeding to explain. As I listened I began to talk. "So, the first thing you need to know is this: magic is real."
"Question!" Lala raised a hand. "What's 'magic'?"
"Uh oh, the only flaw in my perfect plan! Oh well, you're on your own Lee."
'You're useless!'
Thus that was how I spent a few minutes trying to explain the concept of magic and other supernatural stuff to Lala, which also necessitated telling Haruna about Lala's alien origins. Luckily for me both girls easily accepted my explanations, thought that made me wonder if they were really so trusting or just gullible. Lala was a literal sheltered princess so both options were a possibility, while Haruna... Maybe it's because it was Rito telling her that?
Then again, there was a lot of evidence being paraded around. Like my Keyblade and Peke.
"Everything started a week ago when I met a group of warriors from another world, who told me I have been chosen to be their successor." I scratched my chin. "I know it sounds more than a little skeevy, I also had trouble accepting it at first, but I can assure you they are the real deal. Anyway, they granted me several abilities through a magical process and then explained what my new responsibilities are. One of them is being a Peacekeeper of Light."
It sounded very corny, but to my immense surprise it turned out to be a real title granted to Keyblade wielders in the past. It fell out of use well before the time of Terra, Ventus and Aqua, but Riku remembered reading it in a book. Using it was Killua's idea, who said something about 'easily impressionable young girls', whatever that means in his mind.
"Peacekeeper of Light?" Harune repeated, as if tasting the sound of it. "What does it entail?"
"Metaphorically speaking, every living being in existence is made up of three parts: the Body, the Heart and the Soul. To put it in simple terms the Soul is the will, the Hearts the emotions and the Body the vessel that holds the former two." I told them using Riku's words. "Hearts in turn are made of both Light and Darkness: rather than in terms of good and evil it's more correct to consider Light the capacity for selflessness and Darkness the capacity for selfishness. By itself selfishness is not a bad thing, without it you cannot value or take care of yourself, but if it grows too much it becomes dangerous. That's why a normal Heart is mainly composed of Light with a small core of Darkness. Heartless however are different: they are the physical manifestations of Hearts that have been completely swallowed by Darkness and became beings of pure instinct. Usually they reside in a separate dimension called the Realm of Darkness, but sometimes they manage to reach a world populated by people: once it happens they search for and consume Hearts in order to create more of themselves. The duty of a Peacekeeper of Light is to stop them."
With a flash of light Braveheart appeared in my hand. "This is a Keyblade, the only weapon that can purify Heartless. If a Heartless is destroyed without using it they will just reform later in the Realm of Darkness, while this way the Heart is cleansed of Darkness and can rejoin Kingdom Hearts, the source of all Hearts. A Keyblade also acts as a beacon for Heartless, making it easier for me to dispatch them."
I thought I explained things in a clear manner, but after I finished I could almost see smoke coming out of Haruna's ears, while Lala had her eyes closed and the tips of her index fingers pressed against her temples, as if thinking really hard about something. "Uwaah... Yuuki-kun, that's a lot to take in..." The black-haired girl complained with a lost expression.
"Yeah, I get it. Truth be told in the beginning I also was overwhelmed, but well I had a whole week to get to terms with it." I admitted. "This was also my first time fighting Heartless, until now I just trained to use my new powers."
"So that's why Yuuki-kun looked different this past week..." Haruna muttered under her breath. I'm sure I was not supposed to hear that, but sharper senses was another of the perks of my new body. "And the group of warriors from another world? What happened to them?"
My face adopted a neutral expression as I looked away and gazed into the distance. "They're currently enjoying their retirement. Which apparently translates to them spending every day eating junk food, watching the TV and playing games."
""HEY!"" All ten residents of my soul shouted at the same time.
"This is amazing!" Lala shouted next, a bright smile on her lips. "Earth is amazing! I heard it was just a provincial world but in truth it's full of incredibly interesting stuff!" Next thing I knew she was hugging me again. "I'm so glad you're the one I decided to marry Rito!"
Haruna blinked in shock. "Marry?"
"Uh... Yeah. I was proposed to." Very reluctantly, though I didn't show it, I slightly pushed Lala's head away. "I'm not sure how to react. Like I said, my life took a sharp turn for the bizarre since yesterday."
"More bizarre than magic, monsters born out of darkness and other worlds?" Haruna asked me with an amused tone before showing a timid but bright smile. "Still, you saved me. Thank you, Yuuki-kun. That was very brave of you."
Aah, being thanked by Haruna made me super happy!
"That's right! Rito, you said that group of people came from a different world? Even Deviluke's technology cannot perform dimensional travel! I'm so jealous!" Lala added. "Can you travel between worlds too?"
"I should, yes. A Keyblade has many abilities, and one of them is to allow its wielder to open passages to other worlds..."
====
"Alright. Where's this new door you found?" I asked Killua as I followed the white-haired boy within the confines of my inner world. I kept talking to Haruna and Lala until we realized it was getting really late, so after making Lala promise to wait for me back home I switched to Rito and let him run to school together with Haruna while I went inside the inner world to meet with the Gang.
Yes, I turned out I can do that too. It made going through school a lot easier for both me and Rito.
"Just ahead." Killua pointed with one finger. After walking around a pillar I saw Minato and Rin waiting for us in front of one of the giant doors that littered the inner world's walls. I immediately noticed that this one was bigger than the others, a good two or three extra meters in height and width: the keyhole in the center was also more detailed, opening in the middle of three interlocking plates of red, yellow and blue. A small part of my mind recalled the (maybe not) irrelevant trivia those were the three primary colors.
"Hey Lee." Minato greeted me, Rin nodding along. He took a step to the side, revealing a console where usually should be the plate with a world's name. It reminded me of an ATM, consisting of a screen and a small, minimalistic keyboard below it. However, to its right side it had a smaller version of the keyhole in the middle of the door, and dangling from it was a large, old fashioned key tied to a red string haphazardly stuck to the keyhole with transparent tape.
"Alright, what I am looking at?" I asked as I approached them. Unless the console can only be used by me I was sure those three already fiddled with it plenty.
"Apparently it's a door that connect with multiple dimensions." The Ashikabi answered. "The main program is similar to a web search engine: you use keywords to search for specific results. In our case it's dimensions corresponding to specific settings. There's a [Help] button in the upper left corner of the keyboard that open up a page with all the rules."
He picked up the key without breaking the string: now that I was closer I could see there was a white sticker around it, with the word 'freebie' written on it. "For every world you unlock you need to use a key like this together with the Keyblade. This one's free, and you can find more in the Tower of Paradise."
"Of which we have yet to find the entrance. Well, it's not like I'm in a hurry or anything." I replied before looking at the console. Like Minato said it was like a minimalistic search engine, with the keyboard only having simple options like letters and numbers.
I clicked the [Help] button and was rewarded with a list.
Rules of the Multi-World Door:
This door grants access to dimensions where you don't possess a specific Avatar. When visiting them you will appear as your Mabinogi character.
Since the original owner was you none of the people in your head can take control of your Mabinogi Avatar even if you give them permission.
To unlock a world you need a World Key. You get one for free, and you can find more within the Tower of Paradise
The Subskill [Save And Reload] applies here too.
Each World Key can only be used once, so choose wisely.
"So, if I want to visit a dimension beside the ones you guys came from I need to use this door and keys like this one." I said while rolling the key within my fingers. "I can choose any setting I want?"
"Should be: I tried inputting the names of anime from my home world and it gave me results. Same thing with Minato and Killua." Rin told me.
I nodded while humming in confirmation. The urge to try it was strong, but a single World Key meant I could only choose one world until I found this fabled 'Tower of Paradise'. And even then who knew how rare were the keys?
No, like with the other doors the best decision was to wait for now. Beside, I needed time to think carefully about my choice.
"Good job guys." I said as I left the key free to dangle from the console once again. "I'm not using it for now, so let's go back to inform the others of your finding."
====
"The story of my life?" Ranma repeated. We both were in the inner world's theater watching anime to pass the time, when I thought about asking him that. "You want to know it? What for?"
"It's true I know about everyone thanks to the series in my old world, but they didn't cover all of your lives." I explained as I put back the DVD case with the first thirteen episodes of Soul Eater. A good show, maybe I'll visit it in the future. "For example, I didn't know who Rito eventually married and what his job was until he told me. Plus, I believe it may be possible that the events you went through were different compared to what I know." To tell the truth it was just a hunch I had since Rito said his Lala didn't make a Dragon Ball reference the first time she showed her tail, but it was still worth checking. "So I'm curious to know more. Not only that, I want to learn more about your guys and the type of people you grew up into."
"That so? But I'm not a good storyteller, you fine with that?" Seeing me nod as I sat next to him Ranma released a soft breath. "Fine, fine. Where to even begin... I guess that's a good start as any." Crossing his arms behind his head he leaned back on the seat and rested his feet on the backrest in front of him. "You were right about stuff being different. The Akane I knew was more skilled than the one you know, and actually used techniques of the Tendo Branch of Anything Goes Martial Arts School."
I blinked in shock. "Those actually exist?"
"Yeah. Thing is, Soun-san fell into a real bad funk after Akane's mother died and only started coming out of it when Pops and I arrived to the Tendo household. So beside her father's rare instructions and the few pieces of lore he left behind Akane basically had to train herself. But since she also went to school and there was no one making her train hard..."
"I see." I nodded in understanding. "Akane had talent, but because she wasn't pushed as hard as you her potential wasn't fully awakened."
"You got it. Also, unlike the Saotome Branch the Tendo Branch of Anything Goes is specialized in armed combat: Akane is very good with any sort of weapon, especially improvised ones, but because of her temper she has a tendency to default to her fists. It's something I helped her getting over with through the years, although she retained a very mean punch."
"Through the years, uh?" I grinned. "Does that mean at the end you married Akane?"
"Yep." Ranma nonchalantly replied.
I knew it!
"Along with Shampoo and Ukyo."
What?!
"You married all three of them?" I blurted out. "How? I mean, how did you manage that without a bloodbath?"
"Not easily, believe me. I almost had my head chopped off more than once in the same day." Ranma made a distressed face at the memory. "Anyway, everything began when I went to the Cat Cafè alone to eat some ramen. Shampoo and Mousse were out doing deliveries and it was near closing time so it was just me and Cologne. I was feeling down because for the entire past week I have been haunted by misfortune - I'll spare you the details, suffice to say a lot of hits to my head were involved - so when the old ghoul asked what was wrong I more or less started spilling my guts out without a care. I... don't really remember everything I said." Ranma rubbed the back of his head in a slightly embarrassed manner. "But I know I complained how my messed-up love life was the cause of most of my problems and how, if I could just fix it somehow, I could finally started taking back control of my life. That's when the old ghoul said."
He imitated Cologne's usual expression as best as he could. It wasn't perfect, but it almost made me burst out laughing.
"Future son-in-law, if you're willing to listen to the wisdom of your elders I have a solution that fits your needs. So I replied." Ranma switched to an annoyed expression. "Oh yeah? And what would this solution be? I fully expected her to tell me to marry Shampoo and follow them back to China."
I held my breath. "Instead...?"
"Instead she said a single word." Ranma raised a finger. "Polygamy."
"..." I made a face if I just saw something extremely embarrassing. That took guts to say, I admit it, but then again Cologne was a centuries old master martial artist. "I can imagine how you reacted."
"Of course I looked at her like she was crazy." Ranma snickered. "But before I could put my current thoughts into words, and believe me I had the mother of all scathing remarks ready on the tip of my tongue, the old ghoul continued talking. And that, well, that was when I started listening. Without interrupting her."
Ranma listening quietly while someone else explain? Ranma Saotome?
Madness.
"I know, right?" He chuckled. "But consider she was the best teacher I ever had. I mean it's not that hard when compared to the likes of Pops and the old freak, but she was still scarily competent. She talked about bonds, how people grow closer to each other as they go through experiences together. How martial artists forge ever stronger bonds between each other as they bare their souls in combat and risk their lives together against a common enemy. How young people like me are almost always idiots when it comes to those things because we're ignorant as a rock, and dedicated martial artists who neglected even the most basic of social skills in order to get better at martial arts even more so. How watching us young people being complete idiots had been entertaining until then, but she was aware things couldn't continue like that indefinitely."
I opened my mouth, but then closed it. "So basically, first she gave a life lesson and then she insulted everyone, you included? And you let her continue?" I said after a few seconds.
"It's not like it was that strange for the old ghoul. I asked her if she was going somewhere: she looked me straight in the eyes, she had one hell of a glare, and inquired which people currently part of my life I would be happy to never see again."
"The Kuno family."
"I immediately spoke those exact words without even thinking. Not that my wish was ever granted..." he grumbled. "Then of course Happosai, Mousse, Taro, Maomolin-"
I blinked in surprise. "The ghost cat?"
Ranma shuddered. "Yeah. The hellish beast had taken to return to Nerima every now and then, always with a new hare-brained scheme to finally get a wife. Obviously they never worked, but I ended up involved every. Freaking. Time. Anyway, after that I kinda stumbled and couldn't nominate anyone else. I mean yes Pops was annoying, Nabiki was greedy, Soun-san blamed me everytime Akane was upset, Hinako-sensei was annoying, Tsubasa was doubly annoying, Ryoga was Ryoga, but... The thought of a life without them just didn't feel right."
"They had become your world, and even when they were annoying they made everything seem more real." I shamelessly stole from the main theme of Persona 4.
"Uh. Now that you said it describes well what I was feeling at the time." Ranma mused. "So anyway, after I trailed off and fell silent the old ghoul just chuckled in a knowing manner and told me figuring out how things may evolve and plan accordingly is one of the traits that separate a boy from a man. Immediately after that she added the Cafè was closing and to get the hell out of there because they don't accept freeloaders. Took me a few hours afterwards to realize she didn't ask for the bill because she already took out the money from my wallet." The young martial artist grumbled. "Anyway, that was how everything started. The rest... eh, I'm tired of talking. I'll continue another day."
"It's alright, thank you for telling me." It was an enlightening tale: who knew it would be Cologne of all people to put Ranma on the harem path? Was it just self-interest, maybe hoping to add more of Ranma's descendents to the Amazon tribe's strength, or was she genuinely worried about everyone's future? Truly a fascinating question.
Walking back to the bookshelf that had all the DVD cases I looked over my choices before deciding on the one with the first four seasons of Highschool DxD. Of course it was the uncut version. "Wanna see some of Issei's adventures?"
"The pervert? Might as well, it may be interesting." When I walked back to the case however Ranma blinked his eyes in disbelief. "Hold on: why does that look like the cover for a porno?"
"It's a very perverted anime." I answered with the honest truth. "This is the decensored version that was originally aired only via satellite and cable."
"Why this doesn't surprise me in the slightest?"
====
I was in the middle of playing with Rito's Playstation One (so many memories! Retro games are fun too), together with Lala and Mikan, when I had the sudden thought I was forgetting something important. What could it be?
Part of the wall suddenly crumbled, revealing a blond man wearing a bone-like armor that made him look like the evil minion of a Demon King. A small dog was currently gnawing at one of his legs. "Lady Lala!" The destroyer of other people's houses shouted. "I finally found you!"
Oh, Zastin: that's what I was forgetting about.
"Hey Zastin!" Lala cheerfully greeted him. "Wanna join us? Earthling video games are fun!"
"Good luck with Dad Rito." Mikan deadpanned as she continued playing.
"Excuse me for a moment." Putting down the controller I slowly stood up, all the while channeling Ranma.
"Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken."
The next moment I was in front of Zastin, where I proceeded to unleash several hundred rapid-fire punches. All aimed at the moron's fucking face.
"That was my house's wall you just blew a hole into." I said with a menacing tone as I held the barely coherent moron by his undershirt's collar, his face one giant bruise. "How do you plan to repay me for the damage?"
"...Do you accept Standard Galactic Credits...?" He mumbled in a very subdued tone.
Sadly the answer, since Earth has yet to make contact with the galactic community, was negative. Good thing Lala had a tool to repair the wall, though Rito whimpered at the sight of the multi-armed robot.
I was not sure I wanted to know why.
====
"I see. So that's how it is." Zastin muttered as he stroked his chin, the wounds I inflicted already healed thanks to his alien biology. After the wall was repaired Lala, Zastin and myself moved outside and went to a deserted zone so we could talk without interference. "So you, Lady Lala, fell in love with this eartling called Yuuki Rito, who is a powerful warrior called 'Peacekeeper of Light' who protect other earthlings from dangerous creatures called 'Heartless'. This matches my men's report."
This guy was so gullible. No really, how was he so gullible? And have I mentioned the same dog was still chewing at his leg?
"That's just how Zastin is." Rito told me. "It takes a special kind of personality to bear with Lala's antics without snapping. And it was a child Lala, so I let you imagine the rest."
That sounded painful.
"However. I, Zastin, came here on orders from my liege, the King of Deviluke, to bring you home." The older alien said with a serious expression. "I could not face him, were I to so readily accept your marriage with a previously unknown earthling. While I bore witness to his martial prowess with my very own body, it is still not enough to persuade me."
"Come on Zastin, don't be so stubborn!" Lala pouted. "Just go home and tell Papa I'm not going back. And more importantly, I'm not going to meet any more suitors!!"
"Look." I raised a hand, already knowing where this was going. "I may be green at the whole 'warrior' gig but I think I know what's on your mind: you want to fight me, right?"
"Correct. What I wish for is a duel to fully gauge your abilities, Peacekeeper of Light." Zastin took out a bone-like hilt, which then ignited to form a green energy blade.
That is to say, a honest-to-God lightsaber.
'Riku! Is there a Keyblade with an energy blade?!'
"Not to my knowledge." He replied dispassionately, uncaring of how his words crushed my geek dreams.
"Why not?" Pushing the disappointment away I summoned Braveheart. "As long as it's not to the death."
"Fear not. I, Zastin, swear upon my honor that today my blade shall not take a single life." Flamboyant much? Not that I didn't approve.
"Can't we just go back and play video games together? No? Fiiine." Lala pouted. "Rito, don't underestimate Zastin: he's famed as the strongest warrior in all of Deviluke, second only to Papa."
"Got it." As Lala moved back to give us space Zastin and I assumed a ready stance: in my case it was a mix of Riku's standard stance and Ranma's knowledge of the human body to improve my guard and leave no exploitable weaknesses. Zastin may have been a butt monkey in the manga, but I knew that despite his utter lack of luck he was incredibly strong. Something that Hyper-Intuition was confirming just by the way he held himself.
"What's this? Do you intend to fight me with an edgeless weapon?" The blond warrior asked, though his guard didn't lower a single bit.
"It may looks like it lacks an edge, but a Keyblade can cut just fine." I answered back with a grin.
"Let me check it then!" He said before dashing forward at incredible speed, energy sword held with only one hand as he slashed down to cleave me in half. Hyper-intuition warned me to not try to fully block it, so I allowed the energy blade to slide over Braveheart's length and redirect the force of the blow away from me. And it was a good thing I did, because even that much was enough to seriously strain my arms.
"Oh boy, a second Ryoga. Try pissing him off, that always worked with Pig Boy." Ranma commented.
That honestly struck me as a really bad idea, at least with my current opponent. And that was why, if I couldn't block-
-All I had to do was dodge.
Activating Flowmotion I used the residual momentum of my parry to spin around and slash at Zastin's left shoulder. He sidestepped and swiped at my legs.
I jumped over his strike, and once airborne I used Ranma's experience to reinforce my muscles with Chi and launch several blows at Zastin's upper body. He parried the majority of them, but a few managed to nick his armor and even slightly cut his collarbone, drawing blood. I used the last blocked blow as a lever to launch myself backward and land on my feet. "First blood to me."
"Indeed." Zastin didn't looked angry or worried: if anything he was pleased. "Your weapon is indeed sharp. And your skills are even sharper: you were trained in both swordsmanship and hand-to-hand combat, correct? You compensated almost immediately, but I noticed your aerial assault was more suited to be performed barehanded than with a weapon."
I raised an eyebrow in surprise. My respect for Zastin just went up a few notches.
"Now it's my turn to show the skills of planet Deviluke's royal guard commander!" His left hand went to join the right one on the hilt of his weapon. He swung upward with a diagonal slash.
And the whole world was torn apart.
I easily dodged out of the way, but my eyes widened at the long, deep fissure left in the wake of Zastin's attack. It was then I realized he swung his sword with such force the air itself acquired a sharp edge.
In other words, Zastin just used Razor Wind on me. Wow.
I dodged a few more wind blades before switching to a counterattack. "I'm not out of tricks yet!" Calling upon the Thunder Dash ability I shroured myself in electricity and charged at Zastin. He blocked it, but the force of my charge pushed him backward even as he clenched his teeth to endure the electricity flowing into his body.
"Not yet!" Next I used Dark Aura, one of Riku's most famous abilities. Utilizing very short-lived, short-ranged Corridors of Darkness I rushed Zastin from multiple directions, delivering a stab with each one before appearing above him, after which I dashed downward and drove Braveheart into the ground, generating a shockwave that blew Zastin away.
"Ahahaha!! How magnificent!" Despite the fact he was bleeding from multiple spots Zastin jumped back to his feet and charged at me, his strikes even faster than before: I could still dodge them, but finding an opening to fight back was hard. "To think a skilled warrior like you was hiding on such a primitive world! I, Zastin, am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to test my skills against yours!"
"Lacking in sparring partners?" I wondered. Angering Zastin was a bad idea, but distracting him was feasible.
"Unfortunately, in recent years there have been less and less warriors on Deviluke capable of keeping up with me, and my liege kept turning down my humble requests for a spar. But now I finally have the opportunity to go all out!"
Performing a very high jump backwards he spun several time before landing in a runner's stance. "Now, I shall unseal the prodigious techniques that allowed me to stand by my king's side as he conquered the galaxy! Behold!"
A truck rammed into Zastin from the side, the poor guy having landed right in the middle of the street. The alien swordsman was sent flying, falling back to the ground and tumbling several times before slamming face-first into a wall.
"Is it over?" Lala asked innocently, showing not even an ounce of worry for Zastin.
Meanwhile, a completely unharmed dog continued to gnaw at his leg.
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