章 15: Chapter 14
Entering their apartment I slump onto the couch, sweat rolling down the back of my neck. It still sits wrong by me, my worries still clouding my thoughts, I am still uncertain of myself. Closing my eyes I relax my body, my limbs falling loose around me.
I should call them up... let them know I am still alive.
The apartment is deadly quiet, though it feels strange for me to just enter and lay where I please. It's as if this place is my own. Lifting my phone to my face I scroll through my contacts, to the ones clearly labeled Mom and Dad, I hesitate to click on either of them and instead scroll down to my brother and sister's contact information.
With a heave I throw my legs over the side, sitting upright I first try my brother's number. Nothing. I then try my sisters and to no one's surprise, it yielded the same outcome.
Guess I am going to have to settle with them huh?
"What are you doing here?"
A voice talks behind me, glancing behind me I see Eve walk past me heading for the fridge, "Didn't hear you come in. I wasn't able to go with Kai'Sa, it would be in poor taste if she brought me along."
She bends over rummaging through the racks, as soon as she finds a drink she turns around. Her face is emotionless. I guess she does look cold on the outside, but with what I know it is her front.
"Hmmm, that is true. I didn't think she was going to meet up with them today," she takes a long sip then looks at me, "Why do you look so down?"
"I have to make a call."
She walks closer stopping in front of me, asking plainly, "Did someone die?"
"I... no! Nobody died but I guess it would be a better situation than this."
"That bad?" she then sighs, sitting down on the side of the couch, "Family?"
"Didn't expect you to guess it that quickly."
"Family can bring the worst out of you, especially blood relatives."
"Is it the same for you?"
Eve then stays quiet, glancing between me and the view. I didn't exactly know how to take it but her lack of a reaction must mean she doesn't want to talk about it or there is simply not anything to say.
Ignoring my question, "Do they hate you?"
Deciding to move on from my own question I answer, "No. We don't hate each other but I didn't leave without causing any grievances. They weren't too fond of the idea that I decided to pursue music and I just walked away."
"Hmmm, so you just left your home? Where to?"
"With Angel and Luis. I lived with them for a long time when we tried to make some money. Money was pretty easy to get here seeing as how important music is for events and so on. After that, I finally managed to move out and stuck to small apartments in case we might just lose money after hitting a bump in the road."
"Why are you afraid to call them?"
"I don't know."
She takes another sip, "You should stop worrying and stressing about such things. I would almost call you petty." Glancing at her I can see a faint smile, "You managed to make a name for yourself right? You are now affiliated with K/DA and you are practically dating one of the hottest celebrities around."
"I guess that is true but-"
She then interrupts me, "You should call them. They might be just as scared as you to make the first move. I reckon they would be proud of you."
"There you go and make me feel better about myself."
"Don't wait for me. Call them now," she ordered me.
I look down at the phone and without hesitation press the button. The phone rings and rings, making it feel like forever. The sound stops and I am then greeted by an excited voice.
"(Y/N)? Is that you?"
"It is mom."
"I am so happy to hear from you! We... I... how are you doing? Are you okay?"
I smile to myself, "I am okay, I promise. Listen I just wanted to call to hear if I can visit this coming Monday? If that is okay with you and dad."
"Of course my dear! Will we be having any extra guests?"
Eve then walks past me nodding to me, "I'll be going with you."
"Yes but I have to go now though... I have work to do."
"Okay... I love you."
A chuckle escapes my lips, "I love you too."
Eve then walks past me sitting down on her favorite spot. She then lets out a sigh muttering to herself, "What a hassle you are."
"Me?"
"See? it went perfectly fine. I don't know why you worried about it in the first place."
I look down at my feet, "Yeah. I was being stupid."
"Don't be so hard on yourself. You are stupid."
"Fuck you too," I laugh.
As we grow silent I sit still a bit, trying to keep myself from worrying needlessly about everything. I should maybe just forget about most of it and deal with it as I go. Fuck I don't know. I hear her footsteps, she lowers herself.
She lifts my head, "I don't understand you sometimes. You seem so calm and collected about most things. You got a job on short notice and managed to pull it off without any problems, but when it comes to things so close to your heart you panic. "
"I taught myself to be all business. I became so confident in my abilities I at some point forgot about more personal things."
She lowers her hand narrowing her eyes, before shaking her head at me, "Use that confidence of yourself everywhere. Even if you end up making yourself look like an idiot it will be a hell of a lot better than turning your back on it."
She is right. I shouldn't allow myself to be so discouraged about the little things.
Eve then sits next to me, "Is this why every time I bring it up you flinch? Ignoring me hoping that I get the idea and let it go?"
"I am not sure about what you are doing. I am capable of loving more than one person but it's unfair to expect it from others. I am only respecting it."
"I fully understand it."
I continue my rant, "You keep on talking about the four of you. But there is nothing-"
I stop as she lowers her face close to mine, close enough that I can smell her perfume. If even one of us moved our lips would touch, she smiles at me.
"Nothing saying that I like you? Is that what you were going to say?"
"Ever since we met you were trying to kick me out of this group what changed Eve?"
She tilts her head, "Perspective. I grew curious of you, my infatuation with you is that of a carnal desire."
"Is that all there is to it then?"
"Oh? You want me to interested in you. I thought you were opposed to the idea but now it seems more like you want all of us. What if it was me who you met first?" she brings her face closer to mine, hovering next to me she whispers, "If I had you first and you wanted more than me I would have easily made it happen but my willingness to share my prize? But... what is to say that you would love a demon like me?"
"You pretend that only certain things matter to you Eve... you are lying to me and yourself," grabbing her by the shoulders I press her down on the couch her yellow golden eyes gleaming at me.
She giggles, "I like forceful you!"
Grinding my teeth I shoot her a glare, "Be serious! You would say follow your heart and then in the same breath deny that same thing for yourself?"
She then returns a deathly glare I can almost feel pressure around my neck, "You are on thin ice."
Ignoring her and the pressure, "Even if you are just a demon you would allow yourself nothing? Going out of your way to being there for others whilst forgetting about yourself? Please don't tell me you are that stupid. If it was you I would have fallen for you even now I refuse to believe you. I would fall for a demon."
"You don't understand," she starts to raise her voice.
"At least I don't deny myself anything."
The gleam in her eyes flows sharply as the muscles in her face tenses, the pressure feeling almost as if my head was about to be ripped from its socket. She sighs loudly and she visibly calms down. Still shooting me an icy glare, we hover in place for a few moments.
She then finally whispers, "What if that which I want... I could never have?"
"Then fucking take it."
"You are as much of a hypocrite as you are stupid," she finally averts her gaze, "What I want-"
I scoff at her climbing off her I walk away, "We are no different than you think. You don't know yourself what you want."
She then shoots back, "Then you understand me, no? If you could ever so boldly claim for us to be the same?"
I grab my phone, a text blinked across the screen. I glance back at her and then at the phone. Running my hand through my hair I rub my neck, she lowers her gaze from me. Whatever.
I head for the door, pushing through it I jump into the elevator. Slamming my fist against the cold metal I scream to myself digging my nails into my head. Why!? Why did she piss me off so much then? Cause she is probably fucking right.
Fuck me.
I walk out of the building jumping into my car driving to the coordinates that were sent to me. An hour earlier than I was asked but I'd rather not be there now. Akali asked if I could pick her up in about an hour from now. Guess I'll just hang around as I wait for her.
I spend the next hour rummaging through my thoughts.
Her words still rocking my mind, leaving it moving in ways I never experienced. I was never a part of confrontations like that for a long time... all these years and now I can keep my own temper from boiling over. It's just echoing inside my mind making me feel more idiotic. All it does is making me want you to see that you need us, to love us just as much as we need you and love you. I won't walk away from this so easily.
Goddamnit if this isn't conflicted then I don't know what is.
The door swings open with Akali sliding in with a smile, "Hey, (Y/N). I really appreciate you picking me up.
I quickly force a smile, I don't want to burden her with this.
"Hey Akali. How was.... whatever you were doing?"
"It went pretty good. I would tell you what I was doing but I will tell you a bit later. It's just a little project I am busy on."
"If it doesn't involve spraypaint then I am heavily disappointed."
"Make your jokes but I think it will be pretty cool," she smiles brightly.
Starting the car I start driving back to her apartment.
"And you? What did you keep yourself busy with?"
"I spent some time with Kai'Sa and my old group then I hung around your apartment until you messaged me."
She raises her brow, "You sat out there the entire hour waiting for me?"
"Well... yeah?"
She giggles, brushing her lips against my cheek.
I notice her gaze fixated on me, she grabs my hand trailing her thumb over my knuckles, "It's bruised... did something happen?"
I didn't notice the bruising but the stinging was now starting to hurt. I glance back at her still smiling, "Nothing bad happened."
"I know you are lying to me," I look over to her as she frowns at me.
I sigh, "I got angry at someone."
"Who?"
I lie to her, "Family."
Taking my hand placing it on her thigh, "Family can be frustrating. I didn't expect you to get angry over something like that though... but I won't blame you. You are okay right?"
"I promise I am okay," I laugh.
We stop in front of their apartment, she climbs out heading up the steps. She halfway up notices I still haven't left the car. I lift myself out of the car walking around.
She hops closer, "You not coming inside?"
"No not tonight. I want to clear my thoughts a bit."
She had a disdained look on her face. She then finally shakes her head and wraps her arms around me. She stays a while to comfort me before we break apart.
"Don't do anything stupid... promise me. We have to move you in tomorrow."
"I promise."
I shouldn't allow this to happen but it did and that's what's bothering me.
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