章 256: Ch256. The best man for the job.
"Troublesome blonde!"
Yoshino heard a frustrated scream from the Hokage office and briefly stopped organizing the appointments before mirthfully chuckling and continuing her job.
'I will have to send Tsunade chocolate or something. Now that Shikamaru is mostly in the academy, I was getting bored at home.' She hummed.
Inside the Hokage office, Shikaku was frantically reviewing papers, signing off on some of them while discarding others into the trashcan while mentally cursing the inefficiency of Konoha's administration system.
Alas, fate is a bitch. Once upon a time, he spent innumerable working hours in his capacity as the Jonin Commander laughing his ass off at Hiruzen's suffering, knowing nobody in their right mind would ever choose him to be the Hokage, and yet... here he was.
Life sucked.
"What do you want?" Shikaku gruffly asked, not even deeming it important to look at Tsunade who came for a sudden unannounced visit. His Daimyo or not... he was not happy with her right about now. He didn't see a proper bed for over twenty-four hours and that's considering the Emergency meeting was just two days ago. He could already imagine his bleak future...
"Nothing. Can't I visit my third favorite Hokage in my free time?" Tsunade jested, emphasizing the word 'free', causing Shikaku to spontaneously snap his pen in half.
He slowly lifted his fed-up and unamused gaze towards her, "You did this on purpose, didn't you?"
Tsunade, from her position on the couch, shrugged in indifference, "Yeah... Do you even have to ask?" She lifted her eyebrow at him, "We both know you had enough time to put the facts together and analyze your situation from every possible angle imaginable during your paperwork time. Entertain me. What did you come up with? Why did I make you the Hokage instead of taking the hat myself?" She was really interested in the conclusion Shikaku's mind would deliver.
He threw the stacks of paper a vindictive look before sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Well, I guess I could take a bit of a break." Looking back at Tsunade, Shikaku gained a thoughtful look. "The only thing I came up with is my experience in administration from my tenure as the Jonin Commander. That is really the only thing I can offer to the village in this position." He reasoned.
Jonin Commander was a bit misleading term. It was not the person sent on the most dangerous missions as one would believe. No... Jonin Commander was a full-time desk job. Shikaku was not away from Konoha even once since he became the Jonin Commander. His duties primarily laid in deciding which team would be sent on which high-rank mission, reviewing missions to make sure there is nothing immediately fishy-sounding in them that could get their ninjas killed, and then he had to deal with paperwork consisting of things like finished mission reports and the like. It was a job that required incredible analytical capabilities coupled with heaps of practical experiences in the field.
The only time a Jonin Commander played an active combat role in the village would be during a war, where he was supposed to be one of the main tacticians. Hence, it is a position held only by Nara.
And it was also a good job where you got paid for slacking the day off during peacetime, hence the Nara clan made the deal with the First Hokage to be 'prioritized' for it.
"Let's be honest," Shikaku lazily continued with a measure of amusement in his tone, "If we measure one's worth by his rank and abilities, I am solid three. I am an Elite Jonin who, depending on their prowess and Jutsu repertoire, could comfortably fight three other average Jonins. On that same scale, Sarutobi is a solid twenty-five, which is quite impressive in itself when one considers an additional opponent means the combat prowess has to rise exponentially to cope with the increase. That's most likely why the Second Hokage chose him instead of Danzo as his successor. Danzo was better at plotting while Hiruzen had more immediate combat potential. They were at war and such a choice was a no-brainer."
Tsunade snorted, "Sensei always told us he was chosen because his Will of Fire was the strongest. Allegedly, that is really how my uncle justified his choice." She started, beaming with mirth. "When I was a kid, I found it fascinating. Now? I think that my uncle pulled the most available and cheesiest bullshit to quickly justify his choice before he went on a suicide mission that, in the end, won us the first war. It's sad that sensei took his words as gospel and became almost fanatical about the Will of Fire." Tsunade sighed. "I am sure Sensei's retirement will be a bittersweet thing for him. His own punishment of sorts where he can only watch how his beloved village changes from what he thinks is best for the Will of Fire while he is unable to intervene." Shikaku was looking at her weirdly but wisely kept quiet as she monologued. Noticing herself rambling, Tsunade looked back at the man behind the Hokage desk, "But back to you."
Shikaku slowly nodded, his mind processing what she just told him. "Back to me... there are high tens of Jonins who are more or less on the same level as me in the village. And that is not even counting those who mastered elemental Jutsu that naturally counter to my Shadow Manipulation. " He distractedly mused. "I may be smart but that is not necessarily a necessity to become a Hokage either. It is heavily assumed that somebody who got so far as to be considered for the Hokage position is actually smart. But what is most important is the combat capability, or rather, his war deterrent value to the village. Hence the entire administration mess I have to deal with now. Maaan~, couldn't Sarutobi at least try to make it less troublesome? He was in the office for the last forty years. What the heck was he doing!?" He petulantly complained while wearily rubbing his forehead.
'So he figured it out, eh?' Tsunade chuckled, her eyes sparkling with mirth as Shikaku gave her a deadpan gaze.
"You simply chose me to be the poor sod who has to rehaul the administration system of the village." He concluded, causing Tsunade to smirk.
"I stand by what I said in the past. I did it to reward the Nara clan for their continuous and loyal service to the Senju clan. It is high time that your clan's standing increased." She said smugly.
"Bullshit." Shikaku muttered.
"Plus..." Tsunade wryly continued, ignoring Shikaku's cursing, "You are far better paper-pusher than me." She had to duck under the flying paperweight.
Shikaku's eyebrow was twitching in annoyance while the corner of his lips twitched in amusement. He was indeed not the best candidate... no, scratch that, he was not even one of the considered people for the position. But he could also understand what Tsunade did.
Now that she was back in the village, there was no need to have a strong combatant as a Hokage. The village still had Hiruzen Sarutobi, Jiraiya, and now Tsunade available. The overall war deterrent of the village soared despite the Hokage being a 'weakling' as Kumo would undoubtedly dub him. Instead, Tsunade put Shikaku, someone good at administration, into the position of Hokage, something that has to do most of the time with administration.
If this was Shogi, Shikaku would praise her resourcefulness and willingness to say 'fuck you' to traditions. From the reports, Shikaku knew that Suna had massive economical problems because their Kazekage, while strong on the battlefield, was shit at administration and diplomacy. To a lesser degree, the same could be said about Iwagakure, a village that was far too militaristic to work properly, Kumogakure, a place that was mostly stagnant, hence their drive to obtain bloodlines, or Kirigakure, which was just a few months prior a right mess.
The Kages were all strong people with strong beliefs and convictions but the important thing was what they were not. They were not the best people for the job. They were not administrators. They were fighters, killers, assassins. Their mindset was not primarily set to build and develop their villages but to destroy their enemies. It was a ninja thing, honestly.
"Haaa~. Just tell me what you want with me so I can get back to my paperwork. God forbid Yoshino finds out I took a break..." He tiredly said, making Tsunade smile at him.
The dynamics of Yoshino's and Shikaku's relationship may seem unhealthy at first glance but the Nara men knew what they needed in life and the two get on shockingly well under all that Yoshino's nagging and Shikaku's 'troublesome' complaints. Tsunade knew they were happy and Yoshino was always able to verbally kick Shikaku's lazy ass back to work. Frankly, that was the reason why she made the woman his secretary.
"Who said I am here for you?" Tsunade remarked, making Shikaku raise an eyebrow at her. "No, I am here for the guy who is heading this way." She elaborated.
"And who is that supposed to be?" Shikaku asked but was interrupted as the door opened, revealing a sheepish Yoshino.
"Er... Danzo Shimura is here to see you, Shikaku. Should I let him in?"
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