---
I drifted as my vessel fell asleep in Sebastian's dimension. Going over there and back every night was too difficult, especially if I wanted to actually sleep. But I was heading home tonight. And as I was about to open my Door, I thought of something. Seb's triplet was here with me. Fordsie was deeply asleep too. And… I couldn't help but wonder… I slipped into his dreams carefully. I looked down at my form in his dream, a triangle. Yeah no. That would just freak him out. I shifted my form into William and searched for Ford. He was dreaming of tuning a sandwich with a screwdriver. I snorted. "I'm sure that sandwich is tight enough." He turned with a startled yelp. "Miz-William? What are you--"
"I was curious if you wanted to help me test something." I told him. Ford blinked, I could see the dream-haze fade as his mind 'woke up'. "William are you…" He looked around. "...inside my dream?"
"Yeah, I probably should have asked for permission first, but I only thought of this now and I figured I could ask while I'm here." I shrugged. "So… if you want me to leave…" He reached out to take my hand. "Wait, I didn't say that." He scratched at the back of his head. "I… sorry, it's just… I've had many years of being afraid my dreams weren't my own. I just…"
"If you're uncomfortable with me here, I'll leave." I told him. Ford shook his head. "I don't… mind if it's you. But, it would be nice to get a heads up next time." He smiled. "What did you want to test?"
"Oh, I was wondering about my Doors. Like, I've been to a few other places, and even took Seb with me to a few of them. But I haven't taken anyone home with me before. I just wanted to know if that was even possible."
"Oh." Ford adjusted his glasses. "So… you wish to take me home with you?" I nodded. "But to do that, I need to pull you from your body, since I can only move through my Doors via my Dreamscape." Ford nodded at that. "Ah, I see. Well." He thought about it. "This won't harm me?"
"Seb had no issues after travelling with me. Neither did Blue. But they're both other Bills, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not." I tapped on Ford's hands. "But I will be careful." He thought some more before finally nodded. "Alright. I will help you with this test." I grinned and hugged him. "Thanks Fordsie~! I'll get us back by tomorrow morning!" And then I pulled. Ford and I rose up and out of his Dream, his body. He gasped down at himself, "O-oh that… that was quick." He looked up at me, still in William's form and gave a shaking smile. "It didn't hurt at all." He noted.
"Oh course not!" I frowned. "I'm very careful."
"...he was never careful with me…" I 'heard' him mutter. This was the Mindscape, his thoughts were even louder here. I pretended not to hear him and simply extended my hand. "Well, hold on tight, don't wanna lose you into the Void and all that." He clung to me, giving me a look like 'Don't even joke about that!'
I materialized my Door and brought Fordsie with me. I felt rather giddy about it. Even Sebastian and Blue hadn't been to my dimensional set before!
He gasped at my Void of Doors. "This… this is amazing!"
I preened under his praise. "Yeah, it's cool. I guess." I glanced around. Took Ford through a normal Door instead of straight to my set. Since that would require going through Seb's mind, and I didn't want to bother him right now. Me going in and out of his mind to use the Door was one thing, bringing Ford with me was another. So here we were in the Void. I checked on brother's Door and huffed. Nope. 'Ford was still there, apparently. Since it was still marked as 'unsafe'. I'm still surprised that 'Ford and that Stanford haven't fought each other for dominance yet.
Well, back to the matter at hand, and by matter I mean Fordsie, and by hand I mean mine. That nerd was trying to run off and start messing with my Doors, so I had a hand gripping the back of his shirt. "Don't just run off! There are like a bazillion Doors here! What'll I do if you get lost?!"
"But I want to seeee them!" He had the gall to whine at me. "Nope. I'm putting you on a leash mister!" I wiggled my hand and it became a leash. Attached to my arm. I giggled and pulled him back towards me. "We can check the other Doors some other time. Don't forget we're here to see if you can go through Mine."
"Yes. Right." He shook off his giddy-ness. "But we will check the other Doors eventually?" I poked his nose. His puppy dog eyes were surprisingly effective. "Fine. Maybe we can check one other Door before we head home to your Set." Awww~ that smile was so adorable~
I glanced around again, making sure the Door shield around us was right where I left it, that nothing was amiss. That there was no buzzing sound. Nope. Just the silence of the Void. Okay. "Come on Fordsie." I tugged him gently toward my own Door. He was still gazing around in awe. The Door opened and we were pulled in. I was used to it by now, thought Ford seemed a little disoriented from the trip. "Th-that's almost as bad as teleporting!" He whined. I rolled my eye. "Baby~"
We ended up in Dimension 52. Oh right, I left my vessel here. I looked down to see my Miz vessel 'asleep' on my bed. Hm. Right, if Ford wanted to do anything, he needed a body. A sly smile spread across my face. "Hey Ford~ I'm gonna need to build you a vessel, since you don't have a body right now." He glanced over at me and then down at his transparent body."
"Oh. Alright." He said simply.
"But, here's the thing." I folded my arms and looked solemn. "We're in my set's version of Dimension 52 right now. Jessie's Temple, in fact-"
"I've been there already with Stanley. Well, in our version at least." He hummed. "That's where I got my metal plate." He hit his head to prove his point.
I already knew that, but that wasn't the point. "Well, I dunno how it worked in your dimension, but here, only refugees and Shrine Maidens are allowed to stay here. Well, I'm an honorary Shrine Maiden. But anyway, I don't want to worry the other maidens by saying you're a refugee." I paused there, waiting to see if Ford understood what I was getting at. The blank look on his face told me he didn't. Oh, this was gonna be fun~
I hummed and floated around him. "Which means~" I trailed a long finger up his chest and poked his chin. "You're gonna have to be a maiden."
Ford sputtered. "W-what?!"
"Oh don't worry~ I'm not gonna turn you into a girl or anything." I waved. "But I can craft your vessel as a lovely maiden."
Ford deadpanned at me, "That's not any better, William."
"Pfffth~ Live a little! I'll even let you design it~" I sang. Okay, that seemed to interest him. But then he backed off.
"But-but they'll know I'm not one??" Stanford grimaced. "Don't they know who they work with?" He deadpanned. "Is your...perception filter unable to work here?" Ford blushed a little as he rubbed his neck. So cute. I wanted to ruffle his hair but this was serious!
"Oh we get new maidens often. For all sorts of reasons. Sometimes they're just runaways. Sometimes they get sent here by their parents. We get new faces all the time. And many are only here temporarily, depending on their circumstances. And you're right, my perception filters actually don't work here. Jessie's got a thing about illusions and not allowing them. No falsehoods. Apparently my vessels don't count, since they're actually genetically what they look like." I shrugged. "You just need the robes and you're all set!"
He thought about it, I could see the idea of being a 'girl' was still odd for him to wrap his head around. "Look, if you're that worried, I can make your vessel 'male'. You'll just look like a Maiden." I didn't want to ruin my own fun, but if Ford wasn't comfortable, then I wasn't going to… well…. "Okay fine, you don't have to be a 'maiden' to be a Maiden. But… It's more fun this way." I confessed. "Don't you wanna be small and adorable?"
"No?" He folded his arms. I sighed. "Fiiiine~ I won't make your vessel cute and adorable and smaller than me." He raised an eyebrow. "You were going to make me smaller than you?!" He actually seemed horrified at the notion.
"Hey! I just wanted to feel taller than someone else for once!" I pouted. "Tall people like you wouldn't understand!" I turned away, huffing at his ignorance of the pains of being tiny. Ford muffled a snort with a transparent hand. "It's not funny!" I whirled around and waved my arms in the air. Ford just laughed louder.
"Ok. Just because being a ghost is weird, make me a vessel. But I don't want to be a girl OR smaller than you...OR just barely taller than you either." Ford the ghost narrowed his eyes at me as he listed his conditions.
"No fun…" I waved my hand and built him a vessel. He stared at it in silence. I didn't say anything, keeping my back to him so he didn't see my expression.
"...William…" Ford finally said slowly. I folded my arms again. "What is it this time? I followed all your instructions. That vessel--" I gestured down at it. "--is Male, and a whole FOOT taller than me."
"It's a bright pink horse." Ford deadpanned.
"He's a Pony, thank you very much." I corrected him.
"...No!" I groaned at his complaints. We were never going to do anything if he kept being so picky about vessels geez. Ford jabbed his finger at it. "It doesn't even have fingers!"
"....I could make it have fingers."
"...Please don't. The idea of horses with fingers disturbs me on a deep psychological level." He buried his face in his hands.
"HAH!" I cackled. "You've obviously never seen the ancestor of horses!" Ford shuddered. His face was a mix of terror and curiosity.
"Okay fiiiine~ you want a humanoid, right?" I waved my hand and the vessel altered itself. Equestria Girl's version! Ford sighed. "You're not giving up on the 'pink' are you?"
"Never!" I crowed. "Colors have no gender! Be free! It's not even your dimension~" I grinned. Ford let out a defeated sigh. "Well at least I'm a humanoid now." Before he floated down to it. "So I just… slip inside and--" He was in before he noticed, I saw the vessel stumble and flop, face first, onto the bed. On top of 'Miz'. "Dammit Fordsie!" I dove into my own vessel and shoved him off. "You're heavy!"
Ford was blinking slowly, wiggling his fingers and toes, and nose, as he got used to the vessel. "Huh. This… feels very different." He remarked. "I feel… light?" He pushed himself up, wobbling a little on his skinny legs. "...why am I a teenager?" He asked. He noticed it when he settled inside.
This vessel… 'felt' young. Well, it WAS just created, but that wasn't it. Although the appearance was an odd pink humanoid-horse hybrid creature, of which he didn't know how to tell age with from appearance alone, he… felt it. It was that weird sensation of 'not fully grown yet'. It was weird. Ford never knew there could be a sensation like that, but this was it. He felt… what was the word for this metaphysical feeling? 'This isn't even my final form' Eh, what a strange phrase. Why did that pop into his head? He glanced back, a little weirded out when his tail twitched too. What the fuck??
I could hear all of Ford's racing thoughts. It was… kinda distracting actually. I shook it off and took his hand.
"Because you are. Now come on! We're having an Intertwined Neverending marathon today!" I pulled at his sleeve, "Season three is finally done and we're gonna run through season two in preparation for the new episode airing tonight!"
"What the what now?" Ford ran behind me as I pulled him out of my room. "Is that a show?"
"It's an anime!" I grinned up at him. "MY anime! I worked really hard on it!"
"Huh…" He muttered as he looked at me. "I didn't know you had a show...an anime." He corrected himself. Those were the japanese cartoons Soos liked, right?
"Yeah. I kinda… invented anime here? Sorta." I shrugged.
Ford nodded again before brushing his hair out of his eyes. How was it even possible for his hair to be EVEN MORE curly?! One glance back told him that yes, his tail was pink and just as curly. Ugh. At least he was only with Miz. If his brothers saw him like this they'd never let him live this one down. NEVER.
I watched him examine his new body more closely and giggled softly at his thoughts. Not spying. He just thought very loudly. He was now glancing around the temple though. His amazed expression was so cute and his (still 6) fingers twitched, obviously eager to write. "It looks very similar to the one I visited. More lively though." He saw some maidens passing by in the halls. I waved. "Hi Huntocar. Hi Slim-Jim."
The woman with deer antlers and a tall stick of mystery meat jerky with noodle arms and legs, waved back. ""Hi Miz."" they chorused. "Who's your friend?" Slim-Jim asked, bending over with a snapping sound. Ford's eyes were wide as he stared at them.
"I'm S-ssss..." He glanced at me for help. I laughed. "This is Ssss. He's new." The other two maidens nodded. "It's nice to meet you Sss." Huntocar smiled, her skull tearing open at the sides. She was a very strange maiden. Slim-Jim nudged her side. "It's Ssss. There's a longer sound at the end." Huntocar tilted her head, nearly impaling Slim-Jim with her antlers by accident. "Sssss?" She tried next. Slim-Jim didn't have eyes to roll, but he snapped straight. "No, that's too many s's now."
"Exactly, it's not that difficult once you get the hang of it." I looked at Ford briefly. He was struggling to keep a serious face, but his smirk was slowly appearing. Aaaaww!! I knew he'd get into it.
"It's actually S-sss." He said calmly as his tail waved from side to side. "Miz just whistles through her teeth a little when she talks."
"Hey! It's not my fault I have a lisp!" I whined. Ford patted my head. "Yes, yes." He said placatingly, annunciating his s's perfectly. Damn him! Slim-Jim and Huntocar were still struggling to say S-sss's name correctly.
Once they finally managed to pronounce 'his name' right, which was more just Ford taking pity on them, the other two maidens sighed in relief and asked me if we were going to the Theater room for the marathon. "Duh! I have to be there!" I bounced in place. Ford hid a smile behind his mane. "Ok, we're going to get some snacks for everyone. Then we're heading there ourselves."
"...just so long as the snacks aren't pieces of Slim-Jim again." I deadpanned. Slim-Jim twitched, snapping again. "It was ONE time!" He protested. Huntocar and I both stared at him. "We accept and appreciate that you enjoy having people eat you. Please accept that we don't want to eat you." Huntocar said slowly. I nodded. "I might eat people on occasion, but it feels super weird if they're… still alive. No offence."
"Yeah, yeah. We're gonna go make some sandwiches." Slim-Jim sighed. Huntocar pet his shoulder-ish area. "Look, we'll find someone here who'll eat you. There's all sorts."
When they left, Ford turned to look at me with a big grin. I coo'ed internally. Why did he look so cute when he was excited?!! His face was totally different but he still looked like himself. Adorable. His tail wagged and I felt I was going to see it wag a lot. "They're very interesting creatures!"
"People." I corrected. "And don't worry about Slim-Jim too much. You'd be surprised how many species enjoy having people eat them." I shuddered. It was like the Sin-Dolorians all over again, but the Meat-Sticks were different. Instead of feeling all pain as pleasure, they actually had a cultural thing about wanting to be delicious. It was like other species wanting to look handsome, or pretty. They wanted to be delicious. So it was considered the highest honor for someone to eat a meat-stick in its entirety.
....thing was… most of them didn't taste all that good. Pyronica tried once, and even she couldn't stomach an entire meat-stick. I probably could eat one as Bill, but once again, I wasn't really… into the whole… eating someone while they were still alive thing. So I haven't bothered.
I heard rumors that some meat-sticks were starting to breed with other species to try and make their offspring something tastier. I think Slim-Jim mentioned one of his cousins marrying someone from the Bubblegum dimension. Eh… I wonder if I should tell them that bubblegum wasn't digestible to most life forms? Eh… whatever...
"Come on, I wanna get good seats!" I pulled Ford (S-sss) with me as we headed to the 2nd floor. Many maidens waved or bowed their heads (or head-like equivalent) to us as we passed. Ford couldn't help but ask, "Are you… some high ranking person here?"
"Uuugh." I rubbed my face. "Nah, they all just think I'm some kinda god."
"...." Ford looked to be at a loss for words. "Miz, you are a god."
"Well…. Yeah. But I don't need them to treat me like one! Here, I'm just Miz!" I grumbled. This was supposed to be a place where I could get away from it all. Sigh. "Come on, it's just past here." We went through a large set of doors and found the Theater room already half full. I waved at BlueRose as she helped sort people by height for seating. I'm small so I get to be up front! HAH! Take THAT tall people!
....wait. This meant that Ford couldn't sit with me! Noooooooo!
I looked over at him. "Alas. We are to be separated. Farewell my friend~ I am sorry our parting had to come so soon~" I swooned tearfully. "Good bye~" as BlueRose stifled a laugh and sent me off to the front row.
Ford blinked and his ears dropped. "Wait. Miz. Don't leave me!" He cried as more maidens entered the place. I waved as I walked slowly backward to my designated seating area. "Byeeeeee Sssssssssss~"
"It's S-Sss!" He complained as he was led to another seat. His tail twitched nervously, there were so many creatures-aliens-alien people in here. It made him feel uneasy in a way that bothered him. It reminded him of the times Stanley and he had to run and hide, escape from aliens who saw them as food, valuable things to sell or a bounty for those who wanted to sell him to Bill. The evil Bill.
I glanced back, pouting. Maybe he wasn't feeling comfortable with this? I sighed and doubled around back to Blue Rose. "Hey, can I sit with him? He's new and kinda nervous around people." I pointed at Ford. Blue Rose's petals ruffled. "I can't move him up front, he's too tall."
"It's fine, I don't mind sitting further back."
She considered my words for a while, looking back and forth between me and Ford. "Alright, that's fine." I gave her a grateful smile. "Thanks Blue Rose. You're the best~" I bounced over to pounce on Ford. He jolted in place before relaxing under my arms. "You came back?" He probably didn't mean to sound so relieved, but I didn't point that out. I slid down his back and sat down beside him, pulling at a nearby pillow. "Eh~ it's season two. You haven't seen season one yet. So I need to be here to fill you in on everything you've missed before the marathon starts anyway."
"Well, explain away, oh great storyteller." He chuckled, wrapping an arm around me. I leaned against his side, brushing his long pink hair out of my face. "Well, first off. There isn't a main-main character. Everyone shares the screen time. It's a story told non-linearly. It jumps around to the different characters and how their own lives and actions interact with the others. So Season one actually takes place over the course of only one day. But each episode is a different character and how their day went, and they all end up in the same place at the end…"
Ford seemed pretty enraptured by the concept. "And is there a plot?" He wondered aloud. I cackled. "Plot is relative. Everyone has their own story. Every episode is 'self contained' to that character's story. But all the stories are interconnected. Intertwined, as you might say."
"Yes, that's the name of your show? Intertwined?" He reached up a hand to adjust his glasses and paused when he realized he didn't have any. This vessel had perfect vision. He seemed surprised at that, having not noticed earlier. (Well duh, I wouldn't make an impaired vessel, there was no sense in that!)
"It's currently called Intertwined Neverending. The title actually went through multiple changes due to translations between languages. I oversaw the Tangerian dub a while back. Some of the character's names had to be changed. And a few puns had to be entirely re-written, re-animated and so on. It's a lot of work." Ford nodded. "It sounds like a lot of work." He paused. "Well you've told me the basic structure of your anime, but nothing at all about what it's actually about."
"I'm getting to that!" I complained, but inside, I was thrilled that he wanted to know. I liked talking about my work with people. "The basic setting is a household where a bunch of demons, nature spirits, a fairy, an angel and so on, live together. Everyone wakes up and goes about their day, and everyone does a little something that ends up affecting someone else's day, sometimes on purpose, like when Koro stole Komori's pants, since his own were still in the wash. Which led to Komori having to substitute his pet cat as his makeshift pants, it makes more sense in context, which led to accidental consequences when his cat ran away while Komori was at school. In another episode we learn that his cat ended starting a new religion in his name among some drunk college students when he fell from the sky and landed on one of them--"
I babbled on and on, going through all the episodes and what the character's actions ended up affecting in someone else's life. Ford was paying rapt attention, which was cool. Even with people who liked my show, hearing me babble on and on always had their attention begin to shift away. But Ford wasn't getting distracted or bored, he was hanging onto my words, asking questions for clarification on certain events, and even making up own theories on what consequences could have happened if the character had done something different instead.
"--hich leads up into season two. Which is one week later." I finished. Ford nodded. "Okay. So, I'm assuming the characters either explain what happened the past week during their episodes, or we the viewers have to piece it together ourselves over the course of the season?"
"A bit of both. Kiniro is the type of girl who narrates her life as if it were a romance novel, so she's actually most people's best source of context for what's going on." Ford rubbed his chin. "That's the girl who everyone thinks is a boy due to a badly worded genie wish, right?"
"Yup!" I paused. "Don't worry. She gets a happy ending in the manga. She's got her own side story all to herself."
"So you drew this story… as a comic book first, yes? I think Soos told me that manga was comic books." I nodded. "Yeah. The manga was a bunch of different stories with all the characters, but with more detail. We had to condense some of it down when we made the anime." The lights began to dim. "Oh, it's starting." I turned to face the screen. Ford did too. "...thanks for listening to me." I whispered as everyone's chatter around us died down.
"Of course. This is important to you." He pet my head. "And I love listening to you talk."
I felt very warm at his words. "Oh… thank you."
Up front, the large Screen turned on and the opening theme song began to play. I leaned into his chest and relaxed. This was a nice way to spend the day.
---
I fell asleep during the marathon! Auuuuuuugh! I didn't mean to! It was just so comfortable with Ford stroking my head and the soft pillow-- and Ford being a better pillow--
...damn Ford's smug-ass face when I woke up! He was holding back laughter! I just KNEW it!
"Comfortable?" He teased (definitely teasing!)
"As a matter of fact. Yes. I am comfortable. Your fur is soft!" I huffed as I nuzzled further against him. "I think I'm not gonna get uuuuup~" I stretched and sprawled across his lap. "Miz, I can't stay here all day." I rolled onto my back and made a soft rumbling purr. "I'm fine with staying here all day~"
Ford rolled his eyes. "But you said we were going to explore more of the multiverse." He complained like the whiny humanoid pony he was. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep again. "Miz? Miz? I know you're faking it." I felt him poke my cheek. "Shhh~" I said. "I'm sleeeeeping~"
"Auuuugh…" Ford groaned. I heard a soft tittering of laughter. Jessie? She's here? "I see you've got yourself quite the armful." I heard a rustle of cloth, my sister probably sat down. "You're a new face. I'm quite sure I know all my Maidens." There was a mild suspicion in her voice, but she was more curious than anything else.
"I KNEW IT" I heard Ford's loud mental scream. "BAD IDEA BAD IDEA!"
"Y-Yes. I'm new, Oracle." Ford bit his lip.
"You don't have to be so nervous." I could hear Jessie hiding a smile. "You're with Miz. She wouldn't allow just anyone to touch her." More rustling sounds. "So you must be quite special."
I could feel Ford's confusion. "But Miz is always demanding headpats from everyone."
A soft clinking sound, like the beads and gems along Jessie's clothes were waving around. "Headpats, sure. But she fell asleep against you. I haven't seen her trust someone like that since Xanthar. Or me." She was leaning closer, I just knew she was. My head was turned away so I couldn't peek. Curse this entire dimension being devoid of triangles!
"That's…" Ford wavered. "She falls asleep on me all the time."
"Then you really must be someone she trusts." A pause. "Thank you for that. Miz needs more people she can feel this safe around."
"I'm sure it's not as special as you make it sound. I've seen her fall asleep with Stanley… and Wanda and--"
"I never knew she had so many people who loved her. I'm quite relieved actually." I felt one of Jessie's hands caressing my head. "Please pass on a thanks to those Sta-nley and Wan-da people."
"Um… sure?"
There was another rustling sound and I heard the clinking of her beads grow faint as she left. Ford had a hand on my head, fingers half buried in my hair. "Is that true?" He whispered.
"Is what true?" I played dumb. "There are many things that are true. There are also many things that aren't true."
"You only fall asleep around people you trust?"
I finally opened my eyes and shifted in his lap, turning to regard him. "Naw, sometimes I just get really sleepy and pass out."
"But you could easily abandon your vessel if such a thing happened. Just to be safe." Ford pointed out. "But you sleep inside your vessels around us."
I shrugged a bit. "Well...Yeah." I snuggled a bit closer to him and rubbed his pink, fur covered hand. "Sleeping is nicer when you're with someone you trust."
Ford hummed. "Well, regardless. Even if she wasn't the Oracle I met, it was nice to see Jheselbraum again."
I yawned, settling down. He looked at me with a frown. "I know you're awake, you don't have to keep pretending."
"Who says I am~? You're comfortable~ I might just fall asleep again~" I purred. Ford proceeded to roll me off his lap. "Ack!"
"Well have fun sleeping, I'm going to find the Teleporter here and go have some adventures." He grumbled. I scrambled to my feet. "Nooo~ I was kidding! Come baaaaack~!"
---
We did end up leaving the temple to travel for a bit. I wanted to take him somewhere peaceful. Or maybe someplace fun! Like Phunulon with it's carnival rides! But when we left the temple (with me going back into my William form and Ford back to being… well, Ford) I winced at what was left of Phunulon. "Yeesh. Really? Someone destroyed Phynulon? That sucks!" I complained.
Ford was staring wide eyed. "Oh no. What could have… it looks like something tore it apart!"
"More like someone drained all the molten energy from its core, causing the place to crumble apart…" I grumbled. Huh. Looks like not all the destruction in the multiverse was caused by the Federation. They don't go anywhere near this area. It was too far away for them to bother with.
"That's horrible!" Ford gasped. "We need to do something!" He punched his fist. I side-eyed him. "We do?" I mean, it's really awful, the whole destroyed planet thing. But the people made it out on time. And to be honest, Phunulon was an accident waiting to happen anyway. A planet made almost entirely of carnival rides was just begging for one of the roller coasters to break and kill everyone. So a forced evacuation was probably better for them in the long run. "Do… you want me to fix the planet?" I pointed down at it. Ford nodded. "Yes. Fix it. And then we need to find the culprit and stop them!" Aaw~ He had such a determined look! So cute!
"I guess it would be bad if she kept on draining planets left and right." I mumbled. "Not every place is gonna be lucky enough to evacuate everyone… The only reason for my hesitance was that the people here were already trying to do something to stop the person doing all this. And… I kinda felt awkward for interfering. I mean, I'm a busy body that likes to meddle, but Tina told me it wasn't my responsibility to fix everyone's problems...
...no, that wasn't right either. It was certain things I didn't have responsibility over and other things that I do? I felt confused now. "What do you need me to do?"
Ford stroked his chin in thought. "Well, I think you have incredible powers beyond our understanding. You're an extremely powerful god and if you can do something that will make things better, I think we-you should try." He grinned and I noticed he had a hand on my shoulder.
I thought about it. There were many conflicting feelings inside me. So… I should be throwing my power around and forcing my will onto other people? That didn't sound right. Am I… supposed to just make things 'right' by my own definition of right? Should I take it up on a vote? Well, I could worry about stuff like that some other time. If he just wants me to fix a planet, that was easy. I'll even put in proper safety features when I rebuild the roller coasters here.
Using my powers here was easy. Way easier than in Seb's Set or Blue's Set. It's probably because I kinda helped create this world and everything down there were pieces of Me. I moved the atoms around, spawning new ones from myself as I went to replace the lost mass. The planet puffed up like a balloon being reinflated, which was rather funny looking. But whatever. Hm. There was a chance that the lady who did this would return to attack again, and I didn't like the idea of all my hard work being destroyed. So I placed a barrier around the planet just for the heck of it.
Usually, planetary destruction was an issue I was quite upset about, but this area had planets being destroyed constantly as recreation by the inhabitants. There was that creepy shark-man who apparently played music so loud the bass caused earthquakes or something. And that giant puppy that chewed up planets. So… for this part of the multiverse, destruction was… normal. And the way that lady drained planets with her ship was still just 'business as usual'.
(Though I guess she is a lot more efficient at destroying than anyone else here… huh. Maybe this IS a problem?)
"Do you know who's the monster who attacked this planet?" Ford asked me once I finished sealing this planet off from future attacks. Aww… none of the rides were working since there was no one working there! I wanted to show Ford the Sky Coaster. That one was dangerously fun!
"Yeah? Some lady calling herself Dominator. Or something." I was still contemplating the hazards of making the rides run automatically on their own. Nah. Too dangerous for mortals. I guess we'll have to go elsewhere for fun.
"D-Dominator? What kind of villain name is that? Did her parents name her that? That's like… Cartoonishly evil sounding." Ford groaned.
"I dunno. But considering the types of names the Villains around here give themselves…. It's probably more of a title."
"....villains… Plural?" Ford sounded faint.
"Yeah. It's a big deal over in this part of the multiverse. I got invited to a villain party here once. Good food. Bad company. Though I did meet a very handsome Cube while I was there. Not a bad dancer either."
"....handsome?" Ford asked faintly. I nodded, wondering why he was feeling so… odd. "Yeah. Perfect straight lines, sharp angles… pitch blackness that drains the soul out of anyone who stares into his planes for too long…" I sighed dreamily. "And his voice! The screams of the damned echoing through you~" I shrugged. "But he had a girlfriend. And it's not like I really knew the guy so I wasn't actually interested." I blinked at Ford. "Why did you want to know?" I gasped. "Oh! Are you interested in meeting him?" I nudged him with my elbow with a grin.
"What? No, I mean, it does sound interesting but…"
"Come on Fordsie~ admit it~ you wanna oggle the handsome cube too~"
"I'm sure there are much better things to do in the multiverse--What?! No!" He let out a weird laugh. "I-I can't see how a cube can look handsome…" He muttered under his breath, wondering if it was a shape thing.
"What's not to like? A lovely perfectly shaped three dimensional figure! Like, I'm not really into squares, they're boring, but the six faces thing… now THAT'S cool! He's distinct. You can see his outlines clearly. Crisp, sharp edges, and the power coming off him? Delicious~" I sighed, placing my hands on my cheeks. Visual was one thing, but the flavor of his energy was a pitch void that my demon side absolutely LOVED.
Ford gave me a helpless look. "Oh. I… I guess I can't see the appeal personally."
"Eh, different folks, different strokes." I shrugged off. Ford frowned in thought. "Wait, but you think I'm the 2nd most handsome out of my triplets."
"Yes." I said plainly. "Because Sebastian's the most handsome."
"....in what way? We're identical." Ford looked like he was really trying to understand my views on aesthetics.
"Well his energy signature for one thing." I explained. Ford looked taken aback. "You mean his Weirdness?"
"Yes. As a Being of Pure Energy, I'm rather sensitive to that sort of thing. And he Feels very vibrant. It stands out, you know?" I told him. "But he can hide it, especially when the three of you were doing that whole 'pretend to be each other' thing. He suppresses it all down until he feels as bland as any other human." Or maybe it was the deal he made that suppressed it? I was guessing Seb had control over it, maybe he could but forgot? Huh.
"...I'm bland?" Ford mumbled quietly. (He remembered Kryptos complaining about that years ago, back when he and Stan fell through the portal and William had taken them in. Ford hadn't realized it was actually so important.)
"Not that there's anything wrong with that." I quickly assured him. "Sometimes a person's energy signature is too flavorful and I get sick." I patted his arm reassuringly. "You don't make me sick."
"...." (Ford wasn't sure how to feel about that. Was that a compliment? Not making William feel sick? Well, that was a good thing… but still!)
"Like there was this guy I met at the villain party, nice dude. Very cute. Like a fluffy stuffed animal. But his energy and emotions were…" I shuddered at the memory. "Too bright. Pure. I threw up." Not to mention my demonic instincts wanted to snuff out his light, consume him, tear him apart-- yeah, no. That wasn't good for me to be around without my Seal.
My human companion nodded slowly as he processed the information. I patted his head. "It's ok~ I like you this way, don't worry~" I looked at the empty rides and sighed. "Well, we can't do anything here, wouldn't want to harm you outside your dimension." Where else could I take him?
AAW! Look at his face, he was getting bored! Noooo! What's another fun place to go...
"Wait, I was distracted by our talk, but don't we need to find and stop the villain who did this?" Ford pointed down at the planet. I thought about it. Destroying planets might be 'normal' here. But did that mean it was okay to let happen? I guess not? "Do you want me to kill her?" I asked.
"What?! No!" Ford quickly shook his hands. "I mean… like… stop her from… Doing this."
"So… I should take away her freedom and imprison her?"
Ford let out a frustrated sound. "When you put it like that, it sounds bad." He rubbed his head. "Like… take away whatever she's using to destroy planets?"
"Oh. That, I can do. But…" I frowned. "It won't stop her from just rebuilding her ship and coming back to continue doing this."
Ford paused at that. "Right. I hadn't considered..." He frowned as his mind raced. "Can't you… make it so she can't?"
"Go into her mind, tear out the knowledge of how to build her machines?"
"No. No messing with her mind! Or anyone's mind!"
"Well… Looks like its life of imprisonment!" I shrugged. "There's no other way to ensure she doesn't hurt anyone else. She likes hurting people. That's her thing. She had a whole song about it."
"That's very creepy." Ford muttered. If she hurt others and caused harm, then she was a criminal and deserved to go to prison… "I think that's the best course of action. You do lose your right to freedom when you commit a felony."
I gave him a long look. "You realize, in some dimensions, breathing is considered a felony?"
He looked a little surprised before his expression cleared. "Oh. I remember that. I was hoping to forget." He groaned. "That was an awful dimension. Stan's the only reason we survived that. He 'invented' a 'non-breathing-breathing' device, which was just a straw and some sponges, and bullshit the authorities into believing we weren't breathing."
I continued staring at him. He sighed, getting my point. "Right. I probably should have worded that better." He groaned. "So?"
"I mean, we've BOTH committed plenty of felonies. Haven't we, mister 'wanted in a few thousand dimensions'?" I cackled. He huffed. "Well I wouldn't have a record if I hadn't gotten caught."
"But you went against their laws, you committed felonies, you wanted criminal~" I grinned. "Laws are relative, they don't represent good or bad, they represent beliefs of certain cultures, despite how much Wanda thinks otherwise. Gay marriage wasn't legal. Interracial marriage wasn't legal. They were unfair laws. They change." I sighed. "Legality is not a measure for morality."
"....you make a good point." Ford grumbled. "But something like this--" He gestured down at the now fixed planet, "--the destruction of people's entire planet, that's a bad thing, no matter what way you look at it."
"So I should imprison the giant space puppy too?" I asked. "Since he goes around chewing up planets."
"...space puppy?" Ford blinked.
"Yeah. Giant puppy. Really friendly. But he thinks planets are toys and chews them up."
"...but… does he know they're planets? Does he know that they have people living on them?" Ford asked. I shook my head. "Naw, he's a puppy. He doesn't know that planets have people on them."
"Then you can't imprison him. He's not conscious of it."
"So it's fine to destroy planets, as long as you don't realize that's what you're doing?" I pressed. Because that didn't sound right either.
"Urgh!! No, William. It's not white or black. It's bad to destroy planets either way. If you do it on purpose, you affront consequences, if you don't, like… a puppy, you try preventing it or teaching them not to. Like a normal puppy." They tried teaching Shanklin stuff, and the possum learned SOME of it. Then ran away. Stan cried for 2 days straight.
"So… tell the puppy that playing with the balls is bad." I thought that seemed sad.
"Make him other balls he can chew. Or a playground!"
"...I could try that." I nodded to myself. "Maybe find him a proper owner to take care of him." Then the thought came to me. "Should I give Dominator a playground too? So her violence can be sated without hurting anyone?" Ford blinked. "But she needs to be punished for what she did."
"And who'll be her judge, jury and executioner?" I asked. "Nix on the executioner part."
"...The local authorities?" Ford asked. I cackled. "There's no unifying governing body in this side of the multiverse. Every planet has their own rulers. And she's destroyed multiple. So should I gather everyone together and have them argue over what to do with her?"
"Yes!" Ford nodded. I shrugged. Alright then. "Lets go beat her up, destroy her home, all her belongings and drag her in front of an angry mob!"
"Yeah!" Ford cheered. There was a pause. "...Wait."
---
"So...That happened." The human mumbled as we finished our mission. The citizens across this galaxy all argued over what to do with her. There were a few who demanded her life. Some just wanted her to suffer. I had to put on a Seal when that bright orange one showed up trying to offer friendship, which made everyone else groan. Ford kept trying to convince them that killing her was going too far.
"How is that too far? She's killed hundreds of people!" they had screamed back. I couldn't deal with all the yelling and left to go fix all the planets she destroyed. I tore her ship apart, drained it of all its energy to return from where she stole it and just came back a few hours later to find Ford curled around himself, sitting on a rock. Everyone else, including Dominator, were gone.
I settled down beside him as he mumbled to himself. "So, how did it go?"
"It… Happened." Ford rubbed his face. "So, is she dead?" I asked.
"No. One of the villains apparently has a crush on her and defended her. So they said that he and this small orange fellow called Wander had to be her parole officers or something."
"Huh. That is waaaay more generous than I expected."
Ford stood up to look up at me. "So, we made justice. What else can we do? You promised we would visit another of your Doors? How do you determine where they take you? I know one of them leads you to our dimension...But why?" He blinked curiously like the owl he was.
Eager to get out of there so I didn't have to contemplate the moral ramifications or lack thereof of everything we did today, I opened another Door and pulled Ford from his vessel, teleporting the thing up to my room. I'm just gonna leave that there for next time along with S-sss.
"Well, I can't leave my dimensional set just like nothing, I use the Doors that are connected to other Bills. That's how I met Seb actually and BlueBill, my big brother. I am being cautious about which dimension to visit though, as I don't know if that Bill might be friendly or not."
"Um~ If Seb is human though, how is the door leading to us? Why not to our real Bill?" Stanford asked confused.
"Well, his soul, his 'characterization' is the same as when he was Bill. Even if he's human now he isn't quite as separated from his past as he likes to believe, but shh~ Dont tell him, he''ll feel bad." I shrugged. "I probably have a door leading to that jerkBill that you guys fought. I just haven't bothered to go looking."
"...right. Well. He's dead now so we don't have to bother with that." Ford nodded. "What other Doors are there?"
"Well… lets see. But stick close, don't let go of my hand. And if I say run, start running."
"I'm used to that." Ford nodded. I pulled us through my Door into the Void. "Well there's a lot to go through here. I guess we could just pick a Door at random."
"So like that one?" Ford pointed off. I figured this would be a good way to test if I could open a Door and look inside without being pulled in. "Okay. Let's… check this out first. I don't know if any other Bills we meet are gonna be nice or not, so I'm gonna see if we can just peek inside a Door before going straight in."
"That's a good idea." He smiled.
I flew toward the Door and considered it. The name was shifting, like all the Doors did, and I didnt feel like waiting for it to settle down to read it. So I backed up a little and tapped on the Door. It creaked open. Ford and I stared as the light shone out from it.
Along with the music.
"While walking in the woods one day~ Stanley and Ford saw something strange~ a little golden triangle who liked to float and plaaaay~"
"What the fuuuuu--???"
"They followed their new floating friend~ not knowing where this journey will end~ The aliens were appearing from around the bend~"
"What is happening." Ford's voice was dead inside.
"Where are we going?" the Stan inside the door asked. "I don't know~" The narrator singing the theme song responded. "How do we get there?" the Ford asked next. "Come on let''s go~"
"I feel very uncomfortable." Ford deadpanned beside me.
"Him~ A little Dipper showed up, as the Pines twins ran around a birch forest following their Bill. "And her~" A little Mabel appeared and waved at the boys. "And Bill Cipher~er~ come along and see what's new~ in Gravity Falls we're waiting for you~!"
I slammed the Door shut.
"Okay lets both agree to forget that ever happened." I told Ford blandly. He nodded with a solemn look. "Such horrors should be forgotten."
We both turned away and headed as far from that door as we could. I managed to see the name tag on the Door read [BillBoomafoo] before I shuddered. Never again.
"Well, at least I saw how different these dimensions can be…" He muttered. Why did that world have a narrator?! Did it follow them around everyday?? It reminded him of the nightmare Dipper told him once, about comic books and an annoying narrator not leaving them alone.
"Yeah… um… let's go… see something else…" I poked another door open a tiny bit to look inside.
Music started again. Ford and I groaned loudly. "Noo not again!"
"On adventures with the coolest creatures~ From the ocean to the trees~" Ford leaned forward, thinking it was the same door from before.
"The brother Pines are going places, you'd never get to see~"
Curiously, their sight shifted from the ocean and the trees, but they couldn't see shit out of it. No Ford or Stan? "Hanging with their creature friends, get ready it's the hour~"
Ford frowned a bit as I rolled my eyes. We couldn't even see what was going on! Suddenly, there was a zoom to some kind of...turtle shaped lab. There was a very young looking Fiddleford, Carla and even younger Soos. "Wait a second." Ford frowned.
"We're gonna save some animals today with CREATURE POWER!"
And there they were, their dimensional counterparts with green and blue suits they used to turn into animals, or more like suits resembling animals. Those twins were very young looking, probably in their early 20s.
"I know this show." Ford realized.
I looked up at him, shocked. "You do?!"
"Zoe watches this. I mean, not THIS, but there is a cartoon. She was wearing a t-shirt of it. When you fell asleep while waiting in the airport, she went on and on about the show and wanting to fly the… protagonist's ship?"
"Gonna Go wild, wild Pines, Gonna Go wild wild, Wild Pines! Will Pines!"
"Huh. Oh… I think I know what you mean. I was always off doing chores so I don't see all the shows the twins watch."
"This is hilarious." Ford snorted with laughter.
"This is weird." I closed the Door. "I'm surprised there's such… odd universes. Why are we finding so many children's show dimensions."
"I think it's hilarious. But strange. Proves anything can be real somewhere in the universe. I wonder how Bill is the villain there? He'd be the villain who wants to make clothes with animals? Eat them? Or the one that wants to turn them into robots?" He listed, trying to remember Zoe's very detailed explanation
"I don't know and I don't care." I groaned.
"At least those dimensional counterparts are doing something good. Travelling around the world saving animals with cool SCIENCE! They have my respect" I heard him think loudly and couldn't help but roll my eye. What a nerd.
Ford laughed at me. "Oh relax, William~ Choose a door then." His ghost body looked so smug. Ugh.
"Well… I think I remember seeing one that seemed to be interesting." I pondered. "But once again, I worry about our safety." I paused. "Oh! I should go check on Human Bill!" Maybe see if he got his parents back…
"Human Bill??"
---
The place was looking well. Hadn't collapsed in on itself so that means I built it right. That… made me feel better.
"Please~ I wanna see the Flatlanders!" Ford pouted at me. I had to explain this world and now he was excited to explore. I pulled him along. We popped out near the Bill here, of course. I hid us before he noticed us. I saw that he was with an older couple. His parents? They seemed to be doing ok. I didn't want to bother them.
"Is-Is that Bill?"
"Yup" I looked at Ford's face. "No, he isn't exactly human, he is, but not really at the same time. His eyes are still slitted and yellow, like Seb's old eye" I explained before he asked.
He nodded in awe. "Am I a shape here? What do I look like? How do you get triplets here? Did those shapes fight that Bill?" He asked excitedly. I sighed.
"We can do that in a bit. I need to check on the Maniacs here. I'm worried if they're still hurting people or not. I made a playpen just for them."
Ford wondered what sort of playpen I meant, but he followed along as I searched for them. They weren't in the Playpen/Toxbox. I found this world's version of 8-Ball at a casino, gambling at Black Jack.
I flicked my fingers, shifting into my 'older' Miz form (mixed with a bit of Xin to make her older than 17, I'm still practicing on making an actual adult form for Miz, if I'm staying long term in Seb's world I needed to get this right) and a fancy dress. Ford was in a suit now as well. If we're going into a casino, we needed to dress the part. Ford's eyes bugged out as I shifted. "Wh-what?!"
"It's a work in progress." I shrugged, adjusting my dress, pushing my large chest up to fix my bra. "But here's a sneak peek of Adult Miz 0.25. How do I look?" I asked as I straightened in place.
"....Why're you… so…" Ford looked away. "You look very nice." He said finally. I shrugged. "Ok. Well, I'm still working on it. Now come on. I wanna know what these guys have been up to since my last visit."
Ford flushed when I hugged his arm and shashayed my way through the casino lobby. We turned a few heads, but no one tried to stop us. This place had a membership system, but I kinda, maaaaybe copied the local Bill's so the sensors registered me as just another member with a Plus One. "Wait. Is this a casino?" Ford was still a little disoriented by the teleportation.
"Yeah. I kinda want to ask how the gang's doing here since I last saw them."
"Can't you just look that up?" Ford complained. He wanted to see the shape version of himself! A 10 foot tall alien with a body covered in trails of light walked by and Ford stopped complaining, staring at the person in awe. "Is that person made of LIGHT? How? Can I talk to them?!" He gushed.
"Fiiine~ but try not to offend him." I let go and Ford bounced away, his eyes twinkling in glee. That nerd. I shook my head and continued making my way to the Black Jack tables. I was here because I found 8-Ball first. I raised an eyebrow at the fancy suit. Huh. I wouldn't find my 8-Ball in such restrictive clothing, he complained about it.
Then again, with the Henchmaniacs here being different, it was a no brainer that they had different preferences. "Hey~ 8-Ball~" I purred as I slid into an open seat. "Haven't seen you in a while~"
He looked over at me, his glowing eyes going straight to my chest before heading back up to my face. Huh. I put a small tick on the 'not bad' section in my head. He was caught in my looks, but managed to look away. That was more than some of the other people I passed on the way here. "Do I….know you?" He asked carefully.
I pouted. "It's me! Miz!" I folded my arms, ignoring the other people still oggling me. "I broke that barrier around Gravity Falls, built you guys that Toy box…"
8-Ball's eyes almost fell out of their sockets with how wide they were. "Little Miz?!" He looked me down and up again. "Whoa. Bill told me that time works differently in other dimensions but… ah… wow."
"Actually, I just built a different vessel. I didn't think this place would let me in if I still looked like a kid." I shrugged, seeing people's eyes follow my chest up and down. "Besides~" I purred, leaning back in my seat. "Their looks are funny." I winked at a waitress walking by and she nearly tripped over her own tail. Hah! Hilarious!
"...you really ARE a Bill." 8-Ball chuckled fondly. "Boss does that too. Charms the shit outta people." He grinned. "So you're here again? Is your brother here too?"
"Nah. No this time." I took this time to really look over 8-Ball. He still… Looked like the ogre I know and loved from my own Set. But he had hair, more humanoid features and was less of a hunchback. Heck, if it weren't for the green skin and glowing 8-ball eyes, he might even pass for a human with really large teeth.
The Xanthar here was still purple and fluffy, but he stood on two legs. The Kryptos here looked kinda like that humanoid form that Kryptos made for himself during that weird ray-gun experiment of his. But less soft and squishy. I feel like the Maniacs here didn't eat quite as well as mine. I might be feeding mine too much.
"So, how've you been? Are you guys doing ok after we left?" I asked 8-Ball. He chuckled. "We're doing well. Played around in your toybox until we go bored. Pyronica wanted to go out and cause some trouble but then we realized it just… wasn't really all that fun anymore. The whole destruction thing? Like… I dunno." He scratched his cheek. "We did every last horrible, fucked up and violent thing we wanted in the toy box. And then… It just… Got boring."
"Oh?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No offense, it was very well made. And we sorta tried a bit of mayhem out with actual people, but it just… didn't feel the same anymore." He had a faraway look. "And we realized some of the places we'd destroyed ages ago was fixed now and the people there had moved on. They moved on so much that no one even remembered us anymore."
"Ah huh." I kept quiet about how time in the toy box moved at a different rate to outside. It wasn't like they asked.
"And… We were going around. And… no one was shooting at us. Or screaming that we were disgusting monsters who should die or anything…" he rubbed the back of his head. "It was… nice." He admitted.
"So you're not doing the whole chaos and destruction thing anymore?"
"Nah. Seemed like too much work. And with Bill being busy with bringin' his parents back and all, we kinda drifted off and did our own thing. PaciFire and I even found our old bank accounts. The accumulated interest made us zillioneres. So…" He gestured around himself. "Here I am."
He poked at the cards. The game had pretty much stopped by this point. The other players realized we were busy socializing and moved to another table. The next round hadn't started yet so it wasn't too much of an issue. "And I'm kinda getting bored of just spending money all the time."
"Vast wealth without a goal or drive in your life kinda does that." I said in sympathy. 8-Ball sighed. "I don't know what to do anymore. I sometimes go back to the toy box to work out some frustration, but I don't know what else to do."
"Have you found a real hobby? What do you enjoy?" I asked, scooting my chair over to sit closer.
"I dunno? I like hitting things. And.. Moving around?"
"Maybe get into sports?" I shrugged. "You've got time and money. Go out and find yourself."
"Find myself… like one of those soul searching things? Keyhole went to go do that. I think he's at a temple somewhere."
Before I could respond to that rather hilarious bit of news, I heard...
"Bill-Miz! Miz!" I groaned at my charge fondly. He appeared smiling widely. "Need a paper and pen to interview them!" I materialized the things he wanted and waved him off, more concentrated on 8-Ball. He blinked at the human. "Who's that?"
"My friend." I shrugged. 8-Ball looked Ford over. "He's cute." He remarked. "Is he free?"
That actually made me double take. "Ah, I think he's single."
8-Ball was gazing at Ford, which, fair's fair, he looked very handsome in that suit. "Well… I'm bored of gambling for now. Do you two wanna come get lunch with me?"
"Sure." I watched Ford speak with the light-being and get slapped. "Ooh… he asked about his wattage. Bad move there." I got up to go drag Ford away before he accidentally started a fight. "What'd I do?" Ford whined. "Lets just go, Fordsie." I patted his arm as I dragged him away. Silly owl.
8-Ball was laughing, I just knew it.
---
8-Ball took us to a nice restaurant. This was all so weird to see coming from 8-Ball. I know he wasn't MY 8-Ball, but seeing him dressed nicely and eating with proper utensils was… so weird. He was being a perfect gentleman, offering me his arm and even pulling out my chair for me. "When'd you learn fancy manners?" I asked as the three of us sat down. "Eh… well… truth be told, Bill's always been tryin' to teach us how to be 'fancy lads', his words, not mine, and after he brought his parents back and explained things to them, we were all expected to go over for dinner with his folks. So… ah… we had to learn to tone it down." 8-Ball shrugged. "And after a while, we kinda got used to doin' it." He neatly tucked his napkin into his collar so it hung over his chest. I had my napkin in my lap. Ford stared at the both of us and then down at his napkin, at a loss for what to do with it.
"So what brings you here again, Miz? Did you go visit Bill?" 8-Ball asked, giving Ford some lidded glances. The owl seemed oblivious. "Nah, he was with his parents so I didn't want to bother them. Besides, I was kinda wondering what you've all been up to." I shrugged, the movement making my chest bounce. Hm… 8-Ball's eyes swiveled over to me for a brief moment before he coughed. "You're doing that on purpose."
"Ohhh~? Whatever could you mean?" I laughed as I stretched my arms up and back, thrusting out my chest. 8-Ball laughed. "You remind me of Py. She does that all the time too."
"Well, I guess that means your Pyronica and mine are pretty similar." I wouldn't lie, I liked the admiring looks people gave me when I was a voluptuous woman. Is that weird? Eh… maybe? Oh. Was I an exhibitionist? That was weird to think about… huh. Should probably think about this. I liked wearing all sorts of revealing clothing as Jan while I danced provocatively for people. Ah… I think I might actually be an exhibitionist.
Ford finally tucked his napkin on his collar, copying 8-Ball. The waiter came by to ask what drinks we wanted. I refrained from any alcohol, even though I wanted some, and got some tea instead. This place was almost human-like, they just didn't have water on the menu. The tea was made with plant oils and nectar. It was quite nice. I looked through the menu to see if there was anything Ford could eat without dying. "You should probably stick to the steaks." I told him. Meat was meat, and that was mainly proteins. "Your vessel won't die from eating some of this stuff, but I doubt you'd like the taste." I explained. "They cook with a lot of acids."
Ford nodded at me with a smile. "Yeah, I know, thank you. It's actually my first time in a restaurant while in space." Being runaways did not allow you to have those privileges.
8-Ball gasped. "Really? Were you too poor to afford it too?"
Ford blinked. "Ah… well, I suppose finances were somewhat of an issue back then. My brother Stanley and I had to get creative to find supplies while we were out there. Like, we sometimes hunt for our own food, and roast it with fire, of course it got much easier once we got our hands on guns and other equipment. My twin turned out to be very creative on that matter. I'm glad we were together during those times."
8-Ball nodded in understanding. I glared harshly at Ford. "Your twin?" I repeated with a hiss.
"Yeah, that's what I sa-" He seemed to realize what was wrong.
"Isn't he your Triplet?" I asked with narrowed eyes. He immediately shook his hands. "Wait! Wait! Argh! Fuck!" He covered his face briefly before looking up at me. "I'm sorry, it was a slip-up." It was an automatic response, he referred to Stan as his twin for so long in space. He grimaced hard, I could tell he really felt bad for his mistake. That made me relax a little.
"As long as you know and remember." I told him sternly. He winced. "Right. Sorry." He rubbed the back of his head. "I'm a triplet. Not a twin. I have my triplets Stanley and Sebastian." He told 8-Ball. "Stanley was with me in space. He's the only reason I even survived as well as we did. I certainly didn't have any skills for it."
"Don't sell yourself too short." I patted his shoulder. "You're the one who figured out all the fine detail work. Stan's just good with charming people. But you're the one who took apart alien technology and figured out how to make it work."
8-Ball frowned a bit confused, but nodded anyway. "Well, I'm glad you made it out fine. Would be a waste for someone as pretty as you to get killed out there in this unforgiving world."
Ford blinked. "Um… thanks?"
8-Ball sighed and turned to me. "He's an oblivious one, ain't he?" I giggled behind my hand. "Yeah, you're gonna have to be waaaay more direct with him." He nodded at my advice and turned back to Ford. "Hi. I think you're very attractive. Would you like to have some fun later?"
Ford turned bright pink. "U-um… are you… propositioning me? What?? I-I don't even know you! We--"
"Then this can be a great way to get to know each other, don't cha think?" 8-Ball smiled at him. Ford coughed. "No, I mean, you seem like a… nice person. But I'm not in the… I mean, I am not looking to date anyone at the moment."
I grinned at his suffering.
"Who said anything about dating?" 8-Ball blinked. "I meant, do you wanna have a fun time with me?"
"Oh… OH!" Ford was even redder now. "Okay. I'm very sorry but I don't think I'm… comfortable with that sort of thing. I'm… ah… what was the word Mabel used… I'm asexual."
"Me too! Woo! Aces unite!" I cheered. 8-Ball nodded. "Oh, yeah okay. Sorry for making you uncomfortable."
There was a moment of silence before 8-ball spoke again. "So what species is he? Kinda looks like you and Bill an' that other lady, er… guy you were with."
"He's human. I think they went extinct after Bill's dimension was destroyed." I frowned at the thought. Huh. Right, he was kinda human here, but also a demon. Well, I wasn't gonna confuse myself thinking about it. I glanced back at my menu to pick out what I wanted and it was around that time that our waiter came by.
I had to say, it was a very pleasant time, chatting with this 8-Ball. Apparently the Pyronica of this world was working as a professional bodyguard. She ate anyone who tried to attack her clients… so… I guess the intimidation factor worked for her. The Hectorgon here was a cowboy now. Apparently. I'm just surprised by all the things they ended up doing once they grew out of their crazy party days. 8-Ball did look older. Did these guys age? Did their Bill allow them to age? Grow? Change?
We finished lunch and I waved bye to 8-Ball before I took Ford with me to walk around the Plushie planet. I remembered how soft it was, and I guess I thought it would be somewhere nice to see the sights. I figured I could play catch up with the local Bill and the other Henchmaniacs some other time. Ford was amazed by the idea of a planet made of fibers and stuffing. We ended up staying there all day as Ford carefully cut open 'trees' and 'rocks' to examine their insides. I was just having fun catching all the animals and hugging them before allowing them to run off again.
"They're all some sort of cotton or feather-like stuffing, yet…" Ford mumbled as he inspected the grey insides of a rock. "Are they made by someone? Is there some sewer coming by to make more if one gets destroyed? How do they grow?"
I sat down, hugging a rather large raccoon as I watched him work. That intense look of concentration was cute. Everything about this was cute. And I didn't just mean the way a stuffed deer wandered over to nuzzle at his hair. Ford groaned as he felt it along his hair. "Miz, I'm busy. Please don't bother me." He told the deer.
I grinned wide.
The deer didn't have teeth, but it's cloth mouth opened and began to nibble at Ford's hair. I muffled my laugh into the raccoon. Ford sighed but didn't push the deer away. "Fine. You can play with my hair. I'm going to keep working." I almost snorted.
Ford carefully prodded at the inside of a tree. "There's Velcro for some parts where you could tear the tree in half and there's a stump design underneath." He traced the edges with a finger even as the deer continued gnawing at his skull. "Which implies that there is a method set in place for people to take down a tree. But do they use it for lumber?"
He sniffed the stuffing from the tree. "It's… faintly woody. But it feels just like any regular cotton stuffing. Wait. Where is this cotton from? Are there cotton plants? How do plants grow? Do plants even grow? How?"
The deer was rubbing its head along Ford's back, snuggling into his jacket. "Yes I know that different dimensions means different rules, I've been to a place where you had to breathe fingers. But I still want to know how it works." He reached up to pluck a seed pod from the tree.
"Seed pod implies seeds. Which imply growth. Wait. How do things die? Do they live until their fabric and threads give out and they simply fall apart?"
The deer managed to snag the end of Ford's jacket and chewed on it.
"Is there some sort of decomposers here? On Earth the fungi, insects and bacteria break down dead bodies to introduce back into soil to be used up by plants and repeat the process of life again. But these are cloth!"
The deer pulled at Ford's jacket. Lifting it up and then dropping it. It stomped a hoof softly on the ground and reached down to grip his jacket again.
"Yes Miz. I know that cloth, if made from natural materials such as cotton or wool, would eventually break down over time as well, but I don't know if any of the organisms on this planet are capable of breaking them down to that extent, nor if they have to reweave the particles into new fabric."
I think I was dying from the effort it took to hold back my laughter.
The deer managed to pull his jacket up again and stuck its head under and into his jacket. Ford jumped. "Miz! I'm trying to contemplate the logistics of a world made of what should be handcrafted materials!" He reached behind himself, without looking and pushed at the deer's head. It wiggled, burrowing further into his shirt.
"Fine, have your way, but no tickling." Ford conceded, leaning back over into the patchwork grass to poke at it. The deer rubbed its face against his back in earnest. I can't believe he hasn't noticed.
...wasn't sure if I felt insulted or not, really. On one hand, hilarious. On the other hand, is my cuddling the same as a deer snout? On the last hand, if Fordsie was letting his guard down so much, he'd get hurt if something more dangerous than a deer wanted to mess with him. With this in mind, I walked over, dropping the raccoon at last. It scampered away into the undergrowth.
"Do you want a hint?" I asked him as I squatted in front of where he was on his hands and knees with his face examining the patchwork. He actually waved me off. "I will try to get this on my own first." I hummed, leaning my head against my hand as I continued to squat there. The deer was repositioning itself to stick its head out through the collar of Ford's jacket.
"So am I distracting you?" I drawled out. He shrugged. "Well you are blocking light. Can you not stand in front of me?" I didn't move, smiling at him as I waited for his words to sink in to himself. A pause. The deer pulled its head back out and chewed on his jacket again.
I knew the exact moment he realized something was up. He stiffened and went still. I waited. He raised his face up to look at me. The deer was now trying to pull his pants off, biting at his belt and tugging like it was some stubborn piece of grass. Ford stared. I waged a hand. "Hi Fordsie. Are you sure you don't want a hint? The answer is pretty out there."
"..." Ford opened his mouth, said nothing. Closed it. He looked down, squeezing the ground a few times and licked his lips. He looked back up at me. "What is trying to go inside my pants right now?" He finally asked in a whisper. I cackled. "Don't worry your fluffy little head. It's not gonna hurt ya."
He didn't look reassured (rude!) and turned his head slowly, raising his hands as he went.
His hands dropped. So did his jaw. Then he closed his mouth and reached out to push the deer away. "Stop that. I can assure you there is nothing there! If you want food, go…" He trailed off, still pushing the deer back. It didn't want to go. He had to shove it away.
"Go to a farm." He finished lamely. "How does it eat grass? Does it even need to eat?"
I fell back, laughing at him.
He rolled his eyes before laughing too. "I suppose I should be paying more attention to my surroundings." I nodded at that. "Remind me to randomly jump out at you with a 'Boo' now at then. Keep you on your toes." He gave me an exasperated look for that.
The end of the day saw me and Ford sitting side by side against a soft mountainside as we watched the sun set. The vibrant purples and gold filled the air. I leaned against his side.
"So… how was today?"
He lowered his head to lie on top my own. "There're still so many other places I want to check out. So many things I want to see! Think of all the technological advancements I could bring back to Earth once I learn how things work here!"
"You'd have to build them yourself. Can't bring physical objects through my Doors." I reminded him. That didn't dampen his mood at all. "Just getting to see it all is enough to motivate me. I've got so many more ideas for projects! I don't know how I'm going to have time for it all!"
"You've got plenty of time." I assured him. "And if you need any help or helpful pointers~ you know where to find me."
He went quiet, staring at the sunset for a while before he wrapped an arm around me. "Thank you. For everything. For bringing me here, for letting me experience all this."
"No problem! I'm glad you had fun. We need to head back to your Set after this. Shouldn't stay away for too long. Something about keeping your mind and body in sync or something."
"Can we come back again? Not here, specifically, but through your Doors to see more worlds?" He almost begged. I giggled, kicking my legs as I flopped over onto his lap. "That's gonna cost you SOOOO many head pats~"
"What's that phrase…" He rubbed his chin. "Challenge accepted!"
I booped his nose. "Well what're you waiting for? Start petting." We shared a laugh and cuddled on the soft ground. It didn't take us long to slip away, worn out from the long day together. We could go home tomorrow morning, so we have all the rest we needed.
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