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14.58% I don't belong to such a stupid world / Chapter 7: Pissed off

章 7: Pissed off

Alex stood in the adventurer's guild, but he wasn't with his party, he was with another group to listen to a guy while drinking some water.

Adventurer: Have you heard? Rumor says that a General of the Demon King's army has taken over the old castle on that hill a short distance away from town.

Alex: That sounds bad, but it doesn't have anything to do with us, right?

Adventurer: That's right. Anyway, it's better not to approach the abandoned castle to the north of town. This isn't the capital of the kingdom, so who knows what a Demon King's General is doing here. 

But since it's a general, it's probably an ogre lord, vampire, archdemon or dragon. No matter what it is, it'll be a monster that can kill us instantly. It'd be best not to take any quests around that place for now.

Alex: Thanks man.

Adventurer: No problem, now I need to take care of my own party, bye.

Then Alex and the adventurer turned to their own parties, and the first thing that Alex found was…

Alex: ...What? Why are you all looking at me like that?

Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin took small mouthfuls of the vegetable sticks in the cup at the centre of the table as they started at him.

Aqua: Nothing… I wasn't worried about Alex joining another party or anything.

Alex: I was just gathering information…

Megumin: ...Hmm. You looked so happy. You were really having fun chatting, Alex. Were you that close with members of the other parties?

Darkness: ...What's this refreshing feeling? Seeing Alex being on good terms with the other parties, the melancholic feeling's mixed with something good. Could this be the legendary NTR…

Alex: ...Maybe I should think about switching parties…

His soft mumble surprised the three girls.

Tomorrow, every cabbage from the harvest was sold, and supporting through the disgust, he ate cabbages the entire time, taking his level to 13, and gaining 6 skill points.

Inside the adventurer's guild, Alex started to devour meat, as if he didn't ate anything for days.

Darkness: Alex, look! I earned a lot, so I upgraded the armour. How does it look?

With disinterested eyes, he looked at Darkness and shrugged.

Alex: I don't care.

Darkness: Oof… Even I want to hear an honest compliment from time to time…

Alex raised an eyebrow, maybe she isn't 100% masochist…

Alex: Look, I am just trying to act normal, like any normal person should. Now could you please take care of that pervert before she drops lower than you?

Alex and Darkness turned around, and saw Megumin hugging her decked out staff while grinding her face against it.

Megumin: *Huff*... *Huff*... I can't… I can't take it! The magic of this manatite staff, the colour and glisters… *Huff*... *Huff*...

Apparently the manatite was a type of rare metal that had the power to increase the power of a spell. And then…

Aqua: A-lex! How much did you get from the quest?

She approached Alex with her hands behind her and a smile.

Alex: *Nom*.... A little over a million.

Aqua/Megumin/Darkness: A million!?

SInce Alex was the most active one, and didn't made the cabbages explode… He got more money than everyone else.

Aqua: Lord Alex…! How should I put this, I always thought you were such a great per-

Alex: No! I'm not going to give a single Eris to you!

Aqua: Aleeeex! I owe nearly 100'000 Eris in this bar! I can't pay it off with the bounty!

Alex: ...Just sell your body.

Aqua: Wha-!?

Darkness: Ahh… I'll gladly do so, please tell me to do it…

Alex: Get the fuck out from here you! *Sigh* God, can I have some minutes of peace? If you need that money so much then go to pick a quest! I still want to test the Overfiend Blade of Nulgath.

Megumin: You're right! I want to test the power of my new staff!

Aqua: Let's find a quest that can earn lots of money! I don't have money even to eat!

And so they went to pick a quest…

Megumin: Alex! Pick this one, this one! A giant beat showed up in the mountains, its name is Black Fan-

Alex: Rejected! ...Hey, what's this? Why are there only high-level quests?!

A staff member reached them and said.

Staff Member: I'm sorry… A demon King's General seemed to have moved into a small castle near town… It might've been the influence of the general, but the weak monsters in the region have all laid low, resulting in a drastic drop in quests.

A band of knights dispatched from the capital will be here next month to take out the general. But before that, there are only high-level quests left…

Aqua: WHY!? Really… Why did he pick this moment to move here!? I don't know what this general is, but it'd better watch out if it's an undead!

Alex: Well, I will go to-

Megumin: Wait!

Alex stopped, and listened to what Megumin wanted…

[Later]

Alex: This means that before the powerful adventurers and knights from the capital arrive here next month, we can't work as usual.

Megumin: That's how it is… During this period when we can't do quests, I'll need you to accompany me…

Alex was accompanying Megumin since she couldn't cast the magic of Explosion for 1 month or more because if she was too near to the town, the guards would punish her.

Since no one could carry her back after the magic, and Alex was seriously worried about her if that did happen when she was alone, he decided to go with her.

Megumin: Alright! I got my target!

Alex raised an eyebrow and looked at her preparing a spell, since she has closed eyes, he couldn't pinpoint at what she was aiming for, and then…

Megumin: EXPLOSION!!

...A breeze blew through the hills, Alex thought about seeing a silhouette of a castle in the middle of the smoke where the spell fell in, but he dismissed it as his own imagination.

And so, Megumin and Alex started to go in morning strolls, with Alex still oblivious to what was Megumin's target. Aqua was working every day to pay off her debts, and Darkness turned back to her home to train.

[1 week later]

"Emergency broadcast! Emergency broadcast! Attention all adventurers, please prepare for combat and report to the main gate of the city!"

The familiar emergency broadcast was heard through the entire town, Alex's party was together today, so they put on their gears and rushed onto the scene.

A lot of adventurers were gathered at the main gate. And when they reached the scene, the four of them saw an intimidating monster standing before them, and they could only blankly stare at it… 

Dullahan, a monster that brought despair and the premonition of death to men. After turning into an undead, its physical strength was stronger than it was in life, and it gained unique powers as well.

The knight in black armor standing at the front gate held his head on the left side of his body. Before the eyes of the gathered adventurers, he presented his head that was covered fully in its helmet before everyone.

Dullahan: ...I'm a Demon King's General, and have recently moved into a castle nearby…

As he spoke, the head started trembling…

Dullahan: Every day, every day, every day! Where is that crazy idiot who comes to my castle to cast Explosion every day!?

Suddenly, something clicked on Alex's mind…

Alex: MEGUMIN!!! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WERE TARGETING A CASTLE?!

Megumin: I wanted to have some fun! 

Alex kneeled in the ground and headbutted in the plain.

Alex: Goddammit!

Meanwhile, the adventurers made a path between Megumin and the Dullahan, when Alex calmed down, he stood up and walked towards the Dullahan with an exasperated face, followed from Megumin, Aqua and Darkness.

Dullahan: So, it's you…! Are you the moron who cast Explosion on my castle every day? If you knew I was a general of the Demon Army and wanted to challenge me to a fight, then enter the castle!

If not, then just hide in the town and tremble! Why are you bothering me with such evil means? I knew there were only low-level adventurers in the town! I wanted to leave such minor characters alone, but you can't catch a clue and come BOOM, BOOM, BOOM with your spells every day…!

Is there something wrong with your head?!

Megumin was intimidated, but she still flicked the cape she wore…

Megumin: I'm Megumin. As an Archmage, I have mastered explosion spells…!

Dullahan: ...What kind of name is Megumin, are you mocking me?

Megumin: No, that's not it! I am a Crimson Demon, and the elite mage of this town. I cast explosion magic continuously to lure you, the Demon King's General, out…! As I planned, you came to town alone after being tricked; your end is near!

Alex: ...That's a lie….

But no one heard Alex…

Dullahan: ...Oh, a Crimson Demon. I see, so that weird name wasn't a lie.

Megumin: Hey, if you have any comments about the name my parents gave me, spit it out!

Dullahan: ...Hmph, forget it. I didn't come here to mess with peasants like you. I'm here to investigate something. I'll be staying in that castle for the time being, so don't cast Explosion on it anymore. Understand?

Megumin: That's like asking me to die. Those of the Crimson Demon clan need to cast explosion spells once every day, or we'll die.

Dullahan: Hey, I've never heard of this before! Stop bullshitting me!

Alex knew this will turn into shit as fast as how the new trailer of sonic's movie reached 100'000 dislikes…

Dullahan: You don't plan on giving up explosion magic no matter what? Even though I have taken the side of darkness, I was a knight before and have no interest in slaughtering the weak. But if you continue to bother me with such things, I have my way of handling things too.

Megumin: We're the ones being bothered, alright!? Because of you staying in that castle, we couldn't even do our work properly! Hmph… You can only act high and mighty now. We have an expert that deals with the undead here! Master, I leave it to you!

And so she left everything in Aqua's hands… Oh god, it can't get worse than this, can it?

Aqua: I guess it can't be helped! I don't know if you're a Demon King's General or what, but you're unlucky to come here when I'm around. 

An undead coming out in broad daylight when your powers are at their weakest; you're just asking to be purified! It's all your fault that I couldn't take on any quests! Okay, are you ready to face the music?

Dullahan: Oh, impressive. You're not a normal priestess… but an Archpriest, right? But no matter what, I'm still a Demon King's General. I have not fallen so low that I would be purified by a low-level Archpriest in a place like this. 

I have my ways of dealing with Archpriests too… But I'll start by torturing this Crimson Demon girl!

As Aqua was preparing to chant her spells, the Dullahan moved and pointed a finger at Megumin, and shouted.

Dullahan: I shall predict your death! You will die one week from now!

*CLANG!!*

Something shielded Megumin from that spell, she opened her eyes and saw a terrifying colossal and demonic-looking sword that was bigger than herself.

Megumin: Eek!

The colossal sword started floating and emitting an orange glow at the edge of the blade, even if it deflected a death spell, it was unharmed and had not even a scratch. The Overfiend Blade of Nulgath flew at Alex's side as he glared at the Dullahan.

Dullahan: Oh? That's a nice sword to withstand my spell, hmm… I don't recognize that demonic presence around you anywhere, what are you?

Alex: ...I just wanted to have a nice day on this place, hunting monsters, getting stronger, gaining money, drinking as I wish… But NO! I FUCKING CAN'T!!

AND YOU KNOW WHY?! I HAVE THE MOST SHITTY PARTY EVER EXISTED, THAT DAMNED LOLI CAN CAST A SPELL FOR EACH DAY, AND WILL BE COMPLETELY USELESS AFTERWARDS, BUT SHE DOESN'T EVEN TRY TO LEARN MORE SPELLS!!

THAT FUCKING CRUSADER DOES EVERYTHING TO GET HURT BECAUSE SHE IS A MASOCHIST!! AND HER SWORDSMANSHIP IS SO FUCKED UP THAT EVEN A KID CAN DO BETTER!!

THEN I HAVE THAT DAMNED ARCHPRIEST THAT THE ONLY THING SHE CAN DO BEST IS PUTTING HERSELF ON DEBTS, EVEN IF SHE CAN HEAL PEOPLE, I COULD GUARANTEE THAT SINCE SHE GOT THE JOB, SHE NEVER CASTED A SUCCESSFUL SPELL EXCEPT FOR TURN UNDEAD!

AND FOR LAST YOU COME HERE, MAKE EVERYONE POORER THAN THEY ARE BECAUSE YOU SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF THE WEAK MONSTERS NEARBY! SO WE CAN'T GET ANY APPROPRIATE QUEST. 

I AM CALM AND REASONABLE, BUT I HAVE A BREAKING POINT TOO. NOW GIVE ME A GOOD REASON FOR ME TO NOT STAB YOU WITH THIS SWORD AND RAPE YOUR SKULL IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!

…*Whoooosh*

A cold wind blew on the plains, everyone looked at Alex with a shocked face due to his outburst.

Dullahan: ...I'll take my leave, sir…

Then he rode his headless horse and hurriedly went in the direction of the castle. Alex immediately hopped over the Overfiend Blade of Nulgath and flew back in the town.


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