章 54: Sister, watch me
I lean against the wall and sigh. Last night was wrong. No matter how many times I try to accept it, it feels wrong. I bang my head on the wall lightly. I shouldn't have drunk. I shouldn't have kissed him back and make him more excited. I shouldn't have said that I wanted somebody's warmth. Doing it with a person who has the mind of a child... I wrap my arms around myself. I feel disgusted that I might have enjoyed it.
I go back inside the room and find him trying to comb his hair. He isn't doing a good job of it. He simply tears off the tangles and half of his hair is a mess.
"What are you doing?" I scowl at him.
"I am becoming a grownup." He grins at me. "You told me that grownups do everything on their own. I want to be someone you can rely on soon."
His every action revolves around my wishes. I take the comb from his hand. I can't be mad at him. I haven't been doing a good job of raising this boy. I didn't want to teach him because I was afraid that he wouldn't need me if he grows up. His body is grown. He needs to grow up too. I can't delay the inevitable. "Listen, you have to do it this way."
I show him slowly. "Take care of the tangles first. You can't tear them off. Also, grownups don't do everything on their own. Sometimes, they ask help from other people when they need it. Your right arm is hurt now. I will help you for now. Just observe and learn.
"Sister, are you upset with me?" He looks up at me. "You don't look happy."
I stare at him. "Kyo, you didn't do the right thing last night. I didn't do the right thing last night either. When you grow up, you will realize what was wrong. When you find out what was wrong, forgive me, okay? I lost myself in the moment for a second. I also forgave you. You didn't know what you were doing."
He doesn't say anything. I tie up his hair. I check his arm. The skin is scaly now. I have to go to the higher realm soon.
"Sister, I don't think that it was wrong." He grabs the edge of my sleeve when I try to leave. "Why do you think that it was wrong?"
I don't know how to answer. We aren't a real sibling. It's not wrong. He pulls me and makes me sit in his lap. He looks into my eyes. "Tell me why is it wrong. Why you cannot accept me as your special man? You also kissed me last night. It was a different kiss. It made me feel good. Sister, you know the meaning of what I feel. Then, why do you not feel the same when you also love and treasure me?"
Kyo is already growing up. I just didn't notice it. I rest my head on his shoulder. "What you feel isn't love. You are acting like this because of the Dark God inside you. He has perverted thoughts. That affects your body. How do I tell whether you love me as a man or just doing it because your body needs someone and I am available? I don't feel good about that, Kyo."
He frowns slightly. He is confused. "I don't understand."
"You don't understand. That's why it is wrong." I pat his cheek lightly.
***
Kyo wreaks his head. He loves her, but she still says that he doesn't understand. His sister doesn't answer his questions. She just shakes her head and smiles. He decides to grow up as soon as possible to understand the meaning of her words. He wants to know why she is upset when she is smiling like that.
She takes him along with her. She knocks the door of the next room. The door opens on its own. Mogrok is sleeping with his face on the floor. There is no sign of the Seer. She slaps Mogrok's head.
"Master?" He yawns. "My head feels dizzy."
"You drank a lot last night. Where is Deia?"
"I don't know." He looks around, disoriented. "Why are you asking me, Master?"
"You slept in her room last night. You should have some idea." Kresi walks out of the room in a hurry. Kyo follows her. There, she goes. Again. He pouts. Other people are taking his share of love and care.
Kresi finds Deia sitting in front of the inn. "Oi, what are you doing?"
"I am waiting for my spirit." She tells her with a tired voice, "I keep having visions that he will come."
"What's wrong with waiting inside?" Kresi looks at her pitiful state. "What will happen if he sees you like this? He might not even think of you as a master. Clean up and have breakfast."
"You are right. I have to take care of my appearance." Deia runs inside the inn.
Kresi mumbles, "Am I taking care of two kids?"
"Sister, I am not a kid." Kyo grabs the edge of her sleeve again. "Treat me like a man. I will become your man."
"Not again." She sounds exhausted. "I am too tired to argue. Let's have breakfast first."
During the breakfast, Kyo is stubborn about eating with his left hand. He spoils his clothes. Kresi is annoyed to see him get dirty. Mogrok is silently observing Kyo and wondering what's wrong with him. Why is this boy suddenly wants to grow up fast?
"I can eat it on my own." Kyo picks up the spoon again. "Sister, watch me."
"A right-handed boy is eating with the left hand." Kresi mutters under her breath, "I have to give him a bath later."
"Kyo, why are you eating on your own today?" Deia is also surprised.
"I want to become a grownup man." He eats clumsily. Kresi tries to take back the spoon, but he denies it fervently. "Let me grow up, Sister."
"Fine." Kresi yells, "Eat on your own and become a man. I am going for a walk. Don't follow me."
She dashes out of the inn without turning back once.
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