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Fate:The beginning after the end

作者: Mamic

章 1: Emptiness

I'm a 26 year old chef. Although I was not fat and ugly, I was not popular with girls, so I was always lonely and closed to myself. I could only regret the way I lived. Today I once again asked another girl out on a date. But when I came on a date, not only did the girl refuse me, but I was beaten by her boyfriend. I was able to break away, but I walked with difficulty, bearing the throbbing pain in my chest (it seemed like several of my ribs were broken), I unsteadily trudged down the street. The guy's reproaches and insults still rang in my ears. These were harsh and frank words that were very difficult to accept. What did I do wrong? All I did was ask the girl out on a date. Now what? No, of course I know the answer. Go to the hospital But how do I do this? I not only have money, but also documents that were in my backpack, which remained there.

-...Hah."

It was already the end of summer, the time when the cold gradually began to set in. The freezing rain penetrates my clothes, which I don't even remember how long I've been wearing, and mercilessly steals the last remnants of warmth.

-...If I could start all over again.

I can't help myself by just saying this. I wasn't born this useless. I was born the second son in a fairly wealthy family. One older brother, older sister. Third among them. In elementary school I was praised as a smart child for my age. Even though I wasn't very good at school, I was good at games, a guy who was pretty good at sports. One day I was even the center of attention of the entire class. Then from middle school I joined the computer and cooking club. I studied magazines and finally saved enough money to build my own computer. Perhaps I stood out in a family where no one could write even primitive code.

The turning point in my life was high school... No, it started in my last year of high school. I was so busy working on my computer and improving my cooking that I completely neglected my studies. If you think about it now, that's when it all started. I thought that studying was useless in the future. I felt that all this was meaningless in real life. In the end, I entered the most idiotic high school. Even so, I thought it didn't mean anything. I felt that I would succeed if I took it seriously and that I was different from the other idiots. That's what I thought. I still remember what happened next.

While I was standing in line for lunch at the cafeteria, one guy got in front. Grumbling, I blurted out a couple of phrases like some champion of justice. All because of my incomprehensible pride and tendency towards eighth-grader syndrome*. Unfortunately, he was older and one of the two most dangerous individuals in the school.

It all ended with me being beaten until my face was completely bruised. After that, I gradually turned into a recluse. Seeing me like this, my father and brother uttered irresponsible words such as

- Be strong, pull yourself together.

It wasn't my fault. No one in such a situation will come back to school. There was no way out here. So no matter what they said, I continued my secluded life. Thanks to the computer and the Internet, I had something to do. I became interested in many things.. My mother always seemed to be ready to support me, so money was not a problem. At the very least, I could try to become a mangaka and start publishing terrible webcomics or writing novellas and posting them everywhere. But all this became boring in less than a year. I lost confidence every time I saw someone better than me. From the outside, I was just suffering from bullshit.

"This is the real bottom," criticizing them.

Even so, I didn't do anything myself... I want to go back. If possible, I want to go back to elementary school, when I was at the peak of my success, or when I was in middle school. No, even just a year or two ago. Even if I had a little time, I could do something about it. Even though I always gave up halfway, I just want to start over. If I try hard enough, even if I don't become the best, I could at least become someone.

-...

Why haven't I done anything until now? I had plenty of time. Even if I can't leave my room all the time, I could do a bunch of things just by sitting at the computer. Even if it was no longer possible to reach the top, I could at least try to get to the middle and try to stay there. Manga, novels, games, or even just writing code. If I try hard enough, I can achieve at least small achievements. Even without achievements, at least for the sake of money... Oh, it doesn't matter. It's useless. I've never worked hard before. Even if I go back in time, I will go the same way and end up in the same position. I ended up this way because I never overcame the challenges I should have.

- Hm?

Somewhere in the shroud of rain I heard someone arguing. What's all the fuss? This is worrying. I don't want to participate. Even thinking so, I still headed there.

- That's why you...

- You're the only one who...

Finally, three high school students engaged in something like a love skirmish opened up to my gaze. Two guys and a girl. Dressed in unfamiliar school uniforms. Looks like some kind of love triangle. One guy is arguing with a girl, and the second is trying to settle everything, but they don't even listen to him.

- Hmm, I think something similar happened to me before.

I once had a sweet childhood friend from middle school. Really cute, I would rate her a 4 or even a 5. She was in the athletics club and had short hair. Thanks to her appearance, two or three out of ten passersby turned to look at her. But even so, I was crazy about one anime and got it into my head that a girl from the athletics club should wear a ponytail, so I didn't think she was too beautiful. Anyway, we lived next door, studied in the same class all through high school and returned home together more than once. So we often talked, and sometimes argued, of course. It's a pity. By the way, I heard that she got married about seven years ago

I heard my relatives talking about it out of the corner of my ear. She and I had a good relationship. We didn't need formalities when communicating; after all, we knew each other from an early age. I don't think she really liked me. But if I had studied better, or joined her club, or transferred to the same high school, I probably would have been able to fall into her heart*. If I seriously confessed my love to her, we might even start dating. I could flirt and argue with her like these three, and maybe even do all sorts of perverted things in an empty classroom after school. Ha, like in some eroge. If you think about it, these people really are rakes. I'm just exploding already.

-...Hm?

Suddenly, in an instant, I noticed. A truck rushing at enormous speed straight towards these three. And the driver, slumped on the steering wheel. Must have fallen asleep? And these three still don't notice.

- O-d-danger!

I tried to warn them by shouting, but I had not spoken properly for over ten years, and the cold rain and the pain in my broken ribs made the undertaking almost hopeless; my wavering, barely audible voice was quickly drowned in the noise of the rain. I have to save them, I have to. At the same time, why should I save them? I had a sickening feeling that if I didn't save them, I would really regret it. I will definitely be very sorry if I see three people turn into a bloody mess under the wheels of a truck. And I will regret that I did not save them. So I'll save them. In any case, I will most likely die on the side of the road soon. So let me get at least some satisfaction at this moment. I don't want to be overwhelmed by regrets until the very end. Broken ribs throbbed with excruciating pain, making every step difficult. This was the first time in my life that I wanted to get more calcium. It hurts. It hurts so much that I almost can't run. But I keep running. I'm running. I ran.

The arguing guy hugged and covered the girl with his body when he finally noticed a truck jumping out right in front of his eyes. The second stood with his back turned and still did not understand anything, being quite surprised at the unexpected outburst of his comrade. Grabbing him by the collar, I without hesitation, using all my strength, threw him away. After rolling, the guy fell on the side of the road, outside the path of the truck.

- Fine. Two left.

While I was thinking about this, the truck was already rushing straight towards me. I planned to just push them away from a safe distance. But once I pulled them back, the recoil forced me to lean forward. And it doesn't matter that my weight is more than a hundred kilograms. And after this crazy sprint on trembling legs, I could no longer escape. Just before the impact, I saw a flash of light. Has life really flashed before your eyes? Somehow too fast. I didn't have time to see anything. Too fast.

Does this really mean that I have accomplished so little in my life? I was sent flying towards a concrete wall, by a truck fifty times heavier than me.

- Pooh..!

All the air was literally knocked out of me. My lungs, already desperately in need of oxygen after a hard race, began to twitch convulsively. I couldn't make a sound. But I haven't died yet... All this accumulated fat is what probably saved me. But before I could concentrate on that thought, the truck reappeared before my eyes. I was squashed like a tomato between the concrete and the truck.